Opening Up and Being Honest Pays Off Big
This isn’t a specific sexual event as the focal point of this story. Rather, it’s written to emphasize the importance of solid, appropriate communication with your spouse, regarding your desires.
I distinctly remember over a year ago visiting my sister Pam with my wife Kate and our young daughter. The bed was uncomfortable and I had difficulty getting any rest until entirely too late into the morning hours. I laid awake, watching my beautiful soulmate, trying to sleep, hoping my fantasy would put me in a happy place. It was the same desire I’ve had a thousand times before. While I couldn’t muster up the courage to have the conversation with her, the truth remained. Almost nothing consumed my intimate thoughts like my absolutely burning desire to fuck Kate in the ass.
There is no way to explain around it. The idea of anal sex with my partner appealed to me long before I saw it in an inappropriate movie in my youth. It was always appealing, long before I knew Kate and her beautiful round bottom. I guess it’s a combination of the naughtiness, tightness, and the trust factor of playing in such a delicate area. I’m just simply a backdoor man, by nature. Now I had the love of my life and our wonderful life together. But the biggest thing missing was my desire to plow my cock deep into her rectum, and fill it with semen. This was something I dreamed of so many times before. Approaching six years of marriage, I knew this simply had to come to a head. I had to find a way to tell her.
At times, Kate would ask if there was anything lacking in our sex life, anything I wanted to try. If you get technical about it, I lied every time I assured her all was good. Because I constantly dreamed of pounding away in her sweet round butt with everything I could muster. One night, after particularly good lovemaking, the mood seemed great and we were laying in each others’ arms. I told her I had something I needed to run by her.
“I need you to hear me out and give honest consideration to what I’m saying. But I want to assure you that I love you more than anyone else in this world and that will not change, even if you shoot down my idea. I have been holding this in for years, but I have to be honest and let you know I really have an incredible desire to have anal sex with you.” There, it was finally out in the open. As I waited for her reaction, an odd combination of anxiety and feeling the weight of the world had been lifted set over me.
“Anal? But we already do that.” she replied after a few seconds of absorbing the conversation. What she was confused by and was referring to is our deep, passionate rimming that we routinely make a part of our sex life.
“You want to put your cock inside me there?” she expressed. “I thought that is just for gays.” she said, still surprised.
Understand that Kate is from a very rural province in the Philippines. Heterosexual anal sex is not common in that culture at all. In fact, her honest reaction was legitimate in the sense she never heard of any heterosexual couple doing such. I explained that it is much more common, though still practiced by a minority of western heterosexual couples.
We went through the reasons I find it appealing. We talked about variety, intimacy, thoughts regarding anal in a Christian marriage, size (she’s a petite 4’8″ and I’m 5’9″) and physical challenges that might be realized, worries about cleanliness/”poop concerns”, etc. At the end of the day, I explained, I’m just an ass man. I told her about the first time, shortly after getting married and staying in our luxury Manila hotel, we had 69’d and I had a perfect view of her beautiful dark brown rosebud. I told her about while savoring the taste of her juicy pussy I couldn’t stop thinking about how I wanted to part that beautiful rosebud and and bury my cock deep into her asshole.
“You held this all in for this many years?” she asked with soft compassion in her voice. “Honey, I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to keep these things to yourself, hold them in, and not be open with me.” she said.
“I was so scared of how it might go for the longest time. I even worried about losing you, but came to believe after this amount of time your reaction wouldn’t be THAT extreme.”
“If this is what you want, then let’s give it a try.” she said, while holding me. She was defying her Filipino cultural norms.
Obviously, she could see the joy and relief I was feeling. It was an incredibly happy and intimate moment. We talked and held each other before she went to attend to our young daughter and leave me to sleep for the rest of the night. As she left, I was on cloud nine knowing her soon-to-be dual purpose rectum would receive my cock. I was so excited, I couldn’t sleep. I shopped on my phone for different anal lubricants and a few plugs to help with the “training” that I read is almost always needed.
It has been about 10 months since that conversation. There was an acclimation period and I was afraid Kate would throw in the towel a couple of times. But my loving wife stayed the course, for my benefit. I can’t say it always goes easy, and rarely can she take the entire length of my cock. We make a little more progress all the time.
Sometimes, if all goes well in just the right position, she can let me thrust freely. So far, that has never happened yet directly from behind, which is the ultimately goal. Her bent completely over would allow the most unrestricted access. I dream of being able to freely pound every millimeter of me into her. There are plenty of detailed stories I will share in time. This story is about opening up to your spouse. I hope it’s an inspiration for someone, whether your situation is anal or a longing of a different nature.
It is amazing to think, when we attend her cultural gatherings, about the sex life we are enjoying. I look around and smile. I am confident I have the most thoroughly sodomized (contemporary definition, not Biblical sin reference) Filapina wife in the room. We have obliterated the shyness and reservations found in most such international marriages like ours. I love Kate in every way imaginable. Life without her would be unbearable and I strive to be the best husband I can be every day. Also, I feel no shame or awkwardness in saying I absolutely love fucking Kate’s ass. It has enhanced our sex life tremendously. I will indulge in sinking as deep as possible into her snug rectal warmth at every opportunity.
Hubbie here: Alan A, thanks for your post, and a good, “stimulating” first offering. Among stimulating other things, it stimulated some thoughts …
* While the sexual topic is anal (please and thank you), the most important thing to me in this are the bigger questions and issues behind the anal subject matter. Clear communication is so vital, certainly, and also …
* I liked that Kate had a bit of “willing explorer” in her (at least for your “wants”) with her “At times, Kate would ask if there was anything lacking in our sex life, anything I wanted to try.” Perhaps in a future story, we could learn of her identifying the “anythings” she wanted to try?
* It’s hot as fuck that you do “… deep, passionate rimming that we routinely make a part of our sex life.” That’s very hot! Also, I can imagine the challenge with “she’s a petite 4’8″ and I’m 5’9″. Certainly anal will take some care!
* I think this is a big line … “Honey, I don’t ever want you to feel like you have to keep these things to yourself, hold them in, and not be open with me.” This is a turning point in any relationship when a spouse gives the other the freedom to be real, and actually wanting to hear their desires? Very powerful.
* Also “”If this is what you want, then let’s give it a try.” she said, while holding me. She was defying her Filipino cultural norms.” So big! Any person has to overcome their “cultural” norms in some way, whether it’s nationality, family, church, friends, school, upbringing, whatever. Change always involved some “defying”.
* Your summary applies directly to those of us who affirmatively pursue a MarriageHeat Lifestyle choice to be strongly sex-positive and passion-forward, in our particular “cultures” …
— “It is amazing to think, when we attend her cultural gatherings, about the sex life we are enjoying. I look around and smile. I am confident I have the most thoroughly sodomized (contemporary definition, not Biblical sin reference) Filapina wife in the room.”,
— What are our “cultural gatherings”? Family stuff, church stuff, work “connections”, shopping and meeting folks, neighborhood stuff, hobby stuff, etc.
— For Queen and I, I am “amazed to think, when we attend (our) “cultural” gatherings, about the sex life we are enjoying.” I often quip “Ask your friends”, meaning “are any of them this sex-positive?”, with a confident answer of “probably not!” There’s important implications to it. We are trying to be sexually unique.
— I loved your line, “I look around and smile.” – I also really do love what she and I are doing regarding our sex and passion lives together! It does make me smile. I’m thrilled we’re not “stuck in the crowd”!
— “I am confident I have the most thoroughly (sodomized – pick any kink) (Filipina – pick any “culture” specifics like former good girl, teacher, quilter, gardener, Christian, Vixen, etc.) wife in the room.” What a great, confidence-inspiring place to be in a marriage.
So this was obviously an effective thought piece for me, and I thank you for it. I love WHAT Queen and I do sexually, and WHERE we’re going with our Passion Lifestyle, and your post gets me to think about the WHY’s behind it. Always effective! Thanks again, and please keep writing!
Hubbie, you are very welcome and I'm glad to contribute to the topic or anal (my personal favorite), now a mainstay in our love life.
Communication was essential from the very beginning, given Kate's relative inexperience and differences between us. It was always done in a very decent manner. Our highly adventurous, dirty explorations came much later and we're both better off for it, but there were physical size concerns too.
As for "Perhaps in a future story, we could learn of her identifying the “anythings” she wanted to try?", you cannot imagine how I have tried to tease something out of her, but she insists I lead in these things and struggles to come up with something new. She has come a long way from her upbringing, but some aspects linger. 🙂
The dialogue in this process and conversation definitely speaks volumes of our love and trust with each other. She could have struggled to get there and been reluctant to try, but I felt so loved when she expressed her understanding and empathy for what I had been holding in.
Cultural gatherings refer to events from the local Filipino community in our area, always foodie type events. Now I tell her to consider what she eats there, in case I want in her ass afterwards, always getting a groan and eye roll response…LOL. She only has a small number of friends that she has opened up to about some of our activities, anal included, but knowing what I know of their culture I am supremely confident my beautiful soulmate is the naughtiest girl in the room, and that's exactly how we like it.
I really resonated with this. As a single male in my 30’s, with no relational prospects on the horizon – I understand the burning desire for something yet unfulfilled. And as a fellow ass man, I share the exact same specific desire as you Mr. Alan A.
I’ve always been a butt guy, even in my early youth when I began to awaken sexually. I don’t even recall when I first learned that Anal was a real thing people did – but it’s always stuck with me as the thing that turned me on the most.
I think to me it always felt like the most intimate thing that a couple could do together because it’s such a delicate and secretive body part that is less commonly associated with sexuality. Because Anal is less common and carries a lot of stigmas (taboo, dirty, naughty etc.) it’s rarely talked about and therefore rarely assumed to take place. Everybody will assume you’re partaking in PIV sex, because that’s the norm – but nobody will ever know you’ve engaged in Anal. To me, it’s the secretive nature that makes it so hot and intimate; it’s something only the husband-and-wife share, and nobody else knows about it.
By the same token, Anal feels more intimate because the wife is sharing a part of herself with her husband that seems even more private than her Vagina. Women seem less shy about their vaginas because it’s universally known and expected for things to be going in and coming out of them; penises, babies, tampons, gynecologists etc. Since the Anus is commonly regarded as an “exit” orifice, in addition to its role in waste, it’s typically considered a body part that one keeps hidden and feels shy about. For a woman to not only expose her Anus to her husband, but to allow it to be seen up close, touched and even penetrated – is a rare and exclusive gift that signals to the husband her exceptional trust in him.
The same can be said, and to a greater degree, for the husband. For him, the anus is an even more private and guarded body part – no doubt due to its negative (and misleading) connotations with homosexuality. For a man to even admit to himself that he enjoys anal stimulation and/or penetration, it takes a great deal of confidence in your identity. But for a man to admit this to his wife, the amount of trust is astronomical. To ask his wife to perform such an act on him is a level of intimacy practically unfathomable.
In addition to being an ‘ass-man’ from an early age, I also found very early on that I was indeed drawn to the idea of anal-stimulation on myself. I recall experimenting with touching and inserting in my adolescence, but usually not without feelings of shame attached. It wasn’t until my early adulthood, when I lived alone, that I embraced the concept as acceptable (though less common) and ventured into further experimentation with toys like dildos and prostate massagers.
Like I said at the outset – this article really resonated with me, in a twofold sort of way. I burn intensely for the intimate act of fucking my future wife in the ass, but I also burn for the act of having her, in turn, fuck me in the ass. I anguish over what my future marriage will be like, for someone who burns as I do. Will my wife be open to such activities? I can only hope.
But your story has inspired me to not only remain hopeful, but optimistic. In a God-centered marriage, which I intend to have, honesty and a desire to seek intimacy by fulfilling your spouse’s desires out of love, will surely be among the highest regarded virtues of our relationship.
Thank you for sharing. God Bless.
Yes, yes and YES!!! It's like you're pretty much reading my mind in your assessment.
From pretty much my earliest memories (once girls weren't "icky") I found a lovely female ass to be one of the most lovely sights on earth. I couldn't get that out of my mind, and soon stopped trying. I pretty much knew before I got out of grade school that I was likely destined to be a backdoor man in the future.
The physical and psychological appeal to people wired such as we are is pretty obvious. It's incredibly tight and pleasurable. For those that are not squeamish and easily grossed out, the "dirty" aspect succumbs to the intrigue of receiving pleasure from that which a very substantial percentage of people find too taboo and extreme.
However, you touched on what people don't always mention, the intimate aspect of it. From her perspective, a woman is taking a risk by allowing access to this very tender and potentially "dirty" part of her body. Kate has told me she would be absolutely mortified if there is a "poop incident" during our anal sex, and I have assured her that it would be no big deal, something to eventually laugh at after the fact, and assured her that I would do any and all laundry. Yet, it is natural for most to be self-conscious even with a spouse. When she allows herself to be vulnerable as such, and I proceed very gently into her rectum, it is an amazing intimacy. I caress her very tenderly and whisper how good her tight bowels feel on me as I glide against the pressing. Kate loves raw, dirty talk that might seem over the top to some, but it's anal sex we're talking about. Why do people make it out to be something other than what it is? At any rate, one person's nasty is another's bliss.
As for my own rear, what's good for the goose is good for the gander. It has always cracked me up when I've read comments, critical of anal sex, from some women (understandable, but funny) to the effect of how about I stick something up your ass, etc. To which I've always thought "sure–please do" as a reaction. Guys have an added layer of overcoming the "masculinity" barrier before opening themselves up and any rear penetration. We have blown past that. Kate was initially hesitant to do so, but she routinely fingers me during BJs, or work them in during rimming sessions. I have stopped just shy of begging her to try pegging me. She is kind of weirded out by the idea, but I think she'll eventually warm up to it, but if that's not the case it's perfectly fine. For now, we do sometimes use a combo cock ring with prostate massager toy. The vibrations of my motion provide a subtle but amazing feeling stimulation of my prostate. The sensation of our simultaneously filled rectums provides a more intense orgasm for me, and thus more semen into the depths of her behind.
Anyhow, I completely relate to your mindset and view of the whole spectrum on anal. Since it's what you desire, I hope that you indeed become blessed with an open-minded wife that will give an honest try at indulging all of your fantasies. BTW, have you considered looking abroad? 🙂
I'll admit I have always been reluctant to try anal with Jim for the obvious reason; he is simply too large, girth and length. We made a few attempts a few years ago – (I'm always up for pleasing him) but it was rough.
We talked about it once after reading a MH letter on the subject and while masturbating, and decided to lube up more and use my bullet for easy stretching.
I'll just say I'm a believer now, and now Jim can cum because he knows he isn't hurting me. I am now able to get a "double O" when he goes from eating me into one and fucking me in the ass for the encore!
Enjoyed reading my submission here, and thank you both for the comments. I’ll comment more when I have time.
It’s uncanny how much the stock photo reminds me of Kate. Perhaps most ironic is we’re actually at Pam’s house for Thanksgiving weekend. Reading this brought out the horniness in me and I’m pretty sure Kate’s asshole is in for some now very familiar penetration as soon as we get back.
Wow! I must say this is one of the hottest submissions I've read recently! What a good example of communication in marriage about sexual desires! BTW, we love rimming too!!