Premature Orgasm for Ladies?
Hello all, I come to you with a question.
As a single woman waiting for marriage, I masturbate frequently. During many of these sessions I tend to start by using multiple fingers to stroke my vulva over my panties. This usually gets me going, but sometimes I also rub and squeeze my breasts with one hand while the other reaches into my panties to touch my bare and usually shaven pussy lips. However… once it starts to feel good, it gets good quickly. My orgasm builds quickly, and if I am not careful and don’t stop rubbing my clit in time, I orgasm way sooner than intended.
I can come multiple times in one session, but it does get very sensitive in between. Though sometimes if I keep going through the orgasm, I will quickly experience another orgasm which is usually a bit milder than the first. It is so hard to stop myself from cumming sometimes, even though edging myself for a while will give me a bigger, more intense orgasm.
It’s hard to stop when the pleasure begins to peak, and once my hips start to buck I know I’ve reached the point of no return. Sometimes if I don’t stop rubbing in time to prevent an orgasm, I end up orgasming anyway!
Speaking of which, I get particularly hot when reading some masturbation stories on MH, and some of the comments. I love hearing people talk about how a story turned them on, or maybe even prompted some self or partner play.
I cannot wait to feel a man’s hard rod, and I fantasize about bouncing up and down as my little pussy continues to pulse and is wet from pleasure. After drafting this story, I couldn’t help myself and my mind began to wander as my fingers played with my womanhood. I can already feel myself getting closer and know it’s going to be hard to stop in time if I don’t slow down.
Do any other ladies have this issue? How do you edge yourself easier? How can I last longer when masturbating?
Welcome back SSS, I'm glad I stuck around for a bit longer! I'm no expert, just read a lot, but I have heard that a woman's clitoral orgasm can be rather similar to a man's penile orgasm, so what you're saying coincides with what I've read. I'm just curious if you're exploring other things like G-spot and leave your clit alone for a while? Supposedly you can keep going for a long time that way and the orgasms are supposed to increase over time.
But as far as edging, yeah it's hard to do! I mean with guys the stakes are higher but that means the incentive is there. But then I've only been really practicing edging more in the last year or so–I think you've started considerably earlier so will have just that much more time to work on learning your responses and reach incredible heights.
Thanks for the reply FM! Glad to see you are still around. I don’t really use my fingers or a dildo to go inside my actual vagina, I’m not exactly used to that feeling yet, it’s still a bit weird for me but I looooove clit orgasms. Rubbing my clit gets me there easily, sometimes it feels too good to resist and I let myself go, arch my back, and cum. I definitely want to try a dildo out soon though so I can practice PIV
Trust me this isn’t an issue. Enjoy the climaxes. I climax fairly quickly. Some women it takes forever. But one thing I can absolutely guarantee you is that your future husband is going to love how quickly you orgasm for him. It will make him feel amazing. One of the biggest “problems” (don’t know if it’s really a huge issue but men and women both seem not to like it) is when the guy finishes first and can’t stay hard because of simple biology (some guys stay hard after an orgasm but it’s the minority and usually not every time). So just enjoy the pleasure!
My thoughts exactly. As a man, with a wife that can cum somewhat easy, I am thankful that I get to be the cause of it, 100%. Meaning I have no emotional or mental hang ups of me not getting my wife there. We do not both orgasm every time. But, enough to where her not cumming is not an issue. Sometimes she won't cum from my cock. Sometimes she says she doesn't have to, or doesn't want to, if she'd just rather get it done. Mostly, I get her to cum orally, or manually, first. Then we fuck. Most times she cums again, & if I'm on my game, she can cum again. Your issue, will be a blessed gift to your husband. Early on, I once got her to orgasm 17 times to my 3, within an hour, or so. As a young kid, I thought that was a great achievement. But, still a fond memory that I've never forgotten decades later. Give that to your future husband.
Thank you Bee! I will remember this 🙂
Hello sweetsugarandspice! First off let me say to just enjoy your orgasm. Don't worry about it. You say that you can have multiple orgasms if desired, that's great. Take a brief break between orgasms and enjoy. Sounds to me like your body hungers for orgasm and you are extremely receptive to sexual stimulation. That is a good thing.
When I was much younger I too would cum rather quickly when I would play with myself. I learned to just roll with it and enjoy it. In time I learned to make my pleasure last longer, but always looked forward to my orgasm. Stay horny hon!
Um, I’m not a lady but I’m married to a sexy lady. When she has an orgasm early on in a lovemaking/sex session it’s all good for us. It just means she’ll likely have another one later in the session. For her, # 2 orgasm is also often a smaller orgasm than # 1. But we both enjoy the sexual fun! My Melody will sometimes cum during foreplay as I orally love on her boobies – or as I rub my cock’s tip on her nipples. Fortunately we both can usually cum two or more times in a session- but not everyone is this way.
Then, while her pulsating pussy is still doing her thing I’ll slide my hard erection into her. We both LOVE how this feels!!!
You have learned how to edge to build up for a stronger orgasm so you’ve developed the skills and body awareness for your marital sex. Yet sometimes I suspect that when you are married you n your hubby will enjoy you coming early in the sex session and you n maybe he too cumming another time or multiple times thereafter… in the same lovemaking session.
You n your husband will be truly blessed by your understanding of your own body. I will pray that you’ll find each other soon!
So actually, I think you have nothing to worry about here in this concern you expressed.
Great question. I tend to operate the opposite way (taking a long time to reach orgasm), so I can't fully relate. However, I'm learning something about a masturbation session: the orgasm is not the goal. It's the pleasure of the actual journey. Many things (movies, porn, erotic novels) stress reaching an orgasm, and certainly orgasm is an experience we want to feel, but it's not the focus. I've been doing a lot of reading and watching of YouTube videos on this topic. Trying to get to orgasm can kill the arousal and even stress a person (especially a woman) out. So I would suggest just enjoying the moment, no matter how soon or late you finish. Now, there are times where I definitely NEED to climax. It's like an itch that must be scratched or you go crazy. So I'll do whatever it takes for however long to get there. But sometimes I just lie on my bedroom floor and rub myself for a little bit, relaxing, daydreaming, maybe praying, then go on with my day without getting close to orgasm at all. In your case, maybe just some short sessions where you go slow and lazy would be a way to stretch it out. Don't even think about climaxing. Just touch yourself for a bit and then move on with your day. Again, I take way longer than you, apparently, so maybe my advice isn't that helpful. I guess my point is…enjoy yourself. We're all different and have unique sexual hardwiring. It's a work in progress!
You’re so right 3L (mind if I call you 3L?) when you said, “It's the pleasure of the actual journey.” That sums it up. The sensations, the awareness, if you will, then little husband-and-wife- flirtations, role-play plans, etc. Truly half the fun is getting there!
You’re so right triple L! It’s all about the pleasure of the journey but dang the orgasm always feels so good! Especially after an attempt at edging!
My wife can orgasm pretty quick. When I am inside, I just move kind of slow and we both enjoy it a while. But once I started rubbing her clit or she uses a vibrator, she will orgasm within a minute and have multiples. She has nice long orgasms. But we do laugh sometimes about her "premature orgasm". If you enjoy it, it doesn't have to last too long, or stay away from the clit!
As an avid masturbator and edger, I love hearing from the single ladies about the role masturbation plays in their lives.
I'm far from an expert, just a fan, but I do wonder if there's any relation between the frequency of your masturbation and the speed of your approaching climaxes? In other words, if you masturbate more often is the build to orgasm longer or does it not make a difference? Eager to hear from the ladies more about how this works.
I know that as a male, my edging has helped but sometimes particularly with medications I'm on I've actually become more sensitive and have to be more intentional about holding off. That said, if I do go over the edge I can usually ride the rhythm to several more orgasms, which is satisfying but in a different way. I'd like to be able to better control riding that space between very aroused and orgasm for a more sustained period of time.
Guess I'll just have to practice while imagining my rod being bounced on!
It depends on my mood and how long it’s been since I’ve masturbated sometimes. Most of the time I have no problem getting there and it’s hard to stave off that sweet release. It also depends on how horny I am, usually the more hornier I am the quicker I cum!
My take, is if you cum quickly, and can cum multiple times, your future husband will love it!
Plus, most guys (like me) cum too fast anyway, so that'll equal the field! 🙂
My wife can cum many times, but she needs to switch between clitoral and vaginal. If she cums from clitoral stimulation, her clit is so sensitive afterwards she can't take any stimulation for a few minutes. Same after a PIV O, the PIV has to stop when she's done. So, after I get her there with oral, we switch to PIV, and when we both cum from PIV, I switch back to oral, and she cums again. Most often, by that time, I'm hard again, and we go back at it PIV again……and then…..more oral for another! It's quite a cycle!
Of course as many have said it’s good how quickly you can cum! I myself also cum very very quickly. (My husband can make me cum in 9 seconds and I even have a story about it on here)
However, I have been into edging for a long time and find it really hot as well and I feel as someone who cums quickly but also enjoys edging and savoring the buildup I can help a bit!
I tend to edge and tease myself more effectively by utilizing light touches. I slow down the buildup to orgasm by very slowly and lightly touching or even by using something else to tease myself or doing so over my panties instead of in direct contact.
In my understanding I cum very quickly because I am very sensitive and that also makes it so that slow and light touches feel incredible to me and can bring me to the edge without going quickly at all.
If I start going fast I will end up having an orgasm so I try to go slow and stop before I feel it coming so I don’t accidentally go over the edge until I want to. I hope this helps!
I would say, just enjoy the journey! Your future husband will just really enjoy the fact that you enjoy being sexual and you both can grow to know how to respond to each other's needs and desires. All I can say is that sex within the context of the marriage bed is an awesome blessing from God! Along the way, I believe that you can enjoy your body and prepare yourself for the future God has for you. Thanks for sharing!
This has been my wife’s issue our whole marriage. We have found that we’ve had to make sure not to touch her clit too much or she has a premature orgasm which can ruin the sex session, as her clit orgasm is the “finale” orgasm and it takes a while before she wants another one. She prefers to have lots of little vaginal orgasms and then finish with the big clit one. So, this may also be how you’re made and you’ll need to teach your husband how to not touch your clit too much until you’re ready to cum.
I don't see the problem 🤷 Sounds like a multiple win to me!
I find it a bit of a stretch to consider an orgasm as being "premature", for a woman, anyway. For most men, it's a much bigger concern, ( IMO, as a man ). I say this as it has been my experience that women are capable of experiencing multiple orgasms..and they will / do, if stimulation continues after the 1st orgasm has occurred. Those experiencing extreme sensitivity after their 1st, can resort to other forms of stimuli, or other areas to stimulate. Our entire bodies can respond to different types of touch, vibration, heat or cold, that can relate to sexual pleasure. I've found once my Mary starts to respond to my touch, I can stop touching her, and her body often continues to respond. When she's about to come, I often stop touching her, then watch as
her body takes over. I've tried to teach her edging, but she has little interest, she'd rather come, and then come again. I've encouraged her to "ride" an orgasm as long as she can, experimented with continued stimulation during and thru her orgasm, vs stopping stimulation when she's peaking. She prefers for stimulation to continue, often riding from 1 orgasm into another. I've been amazed at how many times she can come, and still go on, wanting more. I have heard her say, " I need you inside me, I'm starting to get tired and I want you inside me NOW." I'm very willing to comply.
I’m a multi orgasm girl too, some of us are driven by sensitivity. If I pleasure myself with my dildo up inside of me I’m not as sensitive. If I use a clit stimulator is extremely sensitive and sensual and it can take a few short thrusts and I’m cumming. Considering you work up to it I would start with a vibe and introduce a clit sucker/stimulator to keep things going. If you want to get hot go and read some of my stories and let me know what you think. Wait until you have that perfect penis and imagine how great it’s going to be by what you were saying in your comment you deserve one that mirrors your spontaneous ways. Believe me he is out there waiting to make your earth shatter into a million pieces.
We are all different. Once I learned how to masturbate by reading and watching videos(strictly educational) I found I could climax very quickly but am a one and done girl. If I am reading a story I might more casually touch my pussy and breasts but normally I masturbate to achieve an orgasm which happens in 1-3 minutes if I concentrate on something sexual. I would gladly not be able to do it so fast if I could have multiples. But then I might stay home much more.
This is an interesting discussion thread. But as like others have mentioned, I’d be inclined to just do some build up to the first orgasm, then from there just have as many as you can take! Have many times have you made yourself cum in one sitting, SSS? Might be a fun challenge to try to it a orgasm “PR” 😂
As others have mentioned as well, you could try some variety in your play. You said you really like clit play, so I wonder if varying up that like focusing on your clit hood, or palming/pressing your clit area, etc. then outside of that maybe alternating between clit play and fingering or even playing with your pussy lips. I saw somewhere that apparently grabbing the lips with your thumb and index finger to squish them together is a good foreplay move (haven’t been able to test this theory yet, being a single male lol so if you try this you’ll have to let me know how it feels hahah) from there you can continue to clamp down on the lips or even give some playful tugs.. and depending on how you do it you can also add some stimulation to the clit at the same time. Have you also tried nipple play at all? That might be another fun avenue to explore as well.
Interesting to hear your updates as you continue to explore your body and God-given sexuality!
Hello everyone. I just joined MH and this is the first discussion I've read. It's so comforting to know that I'm in like company. This describes me perfectly. I'm not married but have a boyfriend. We haven't had sexbut have the same anxiety. I masturbate regularly and find that I often cum quite quickly and often. I kinda scares me and how will my boyfriend react.
Welcome, always good to have fresh blood so please stick around and contribute! Being single and a virgin all I can say is what I told SSS and that is all based on whatever I've read on the subject, which is to start going after the G-spot after a clitoral orgasm or two. I hope you have taken the time to read the comments here and hope they'll be encouraging for you. Not that I know him, but honestly I think that your boyfriend would be thrilled to hear you tell him this!
Olivia, welcome.
Wonderful to hear that as a Christian you masturbating regularly. You and your boyfriend if it is a serious relationship should be talking about future and sex. […]
At the risk of boring MH for the multiple time I had shared this: https://marriageheat.com/2024/06/02/masturbation-as-sexual-purity/
After being here for a while, (there is a search function) you will see how valuable and important it is for self-masturbation to also be a part of marriage. When married, it does not matter how much you fuck (fuck a lot), still masturbate solo and together.
Orgasms are good for you. Thanks be to God.
Sarah K.
Well advised, sarah k! Our bodies and our spouses need us to masturbate. It keeps the fire burning and our bodies and psyche healthy! My Anne and I love to masturbate together and solo, a lot!
SSS, your words,”After drafting this story, I couldn’t help myself and my mind began to wander as my fingers played with my womanhood. I can already feel myself getting closer…” are so arousingly sexy! I imagine you weren’t wearing anything. Just masturbating…in the nude…aroused by the thought of it all…so wonderfully sexy…mmm
Thanks again for this very informative and helpful discussion. I really appreciate the idea of edging and enjoying the journey. More ideas on this are definitely welcome. The build up is great but then suddenly I'm there. It is good that I orgasm again but those are pretty quick too.
I don't think I've had a G-spot orgasm. Need to know more about that. Better than an external orgasm? Do I need a toy? I don't have any.
Thanks again!
I'm not the expert here, so you will probably have to do your own research, but there are lots of toys made expressly for g-spot use. There are also usually some pretty good Black Friday sales on a lot of websites, and around Valentine's Day.