Can Christian Singles Write Erotica?
Hello to everyone here at Marriage Heat. I’ve known about Marriage Heat for several months, and I created an account here last month. I’m a 36-year-old, single, African-American man. My siblings and I were raised in a strong Christian household by two great Christian parents. Sometime in the future, I might share my backstory with everyone here and the struggles I’ve had as a young Christian to be sexually pure. But in this article, I’ll get right to my point.
I’ve been seeking to both enjoy and create Christian erotica as an alternative to worldly pornography. Throughout the year, I’ve read articles from different Christians that argue that erotica and masturbation are not necessarily sinful. Some of those articles are here on this site. I know the primary purpose of Marriage Heat is to provide a safe space for Christian couples to write about their sexual relationships with their spouses. But does this site allow erotic stories written by Christian singles? I’m waiting till I get married to have sex, as God commands in his Word. But while I wait, I’m interested in writing erotica. I have a bachelor’s degree in writing. But having no sexual experiences outside masturbation, which I’m starting to believe isn’t necessarily wrong, what kind of erotica could a single Christian write?
Hi Epic! Welcome to MH! In answer to your question I refer you to LovelyLonelyLady. She writes some AMAZING historical fiction stories here on MH and they are some of the best married erotica ever – in my humble opinion. Like you, she is an unmarried virgin. There are other Christian singles who also write excellent stories for MH.
I write a lot about my wife & my sexual fun and as a married man in a happy marriage I have a lot of erotic experiences to draw from. I also write a few stories for MH. I have written but not published half a dozen fictional married erotica novellas.
You being a single virgin I am firstly proud of your commitment. My wife was in her early 40s when we married and she had been living a pure life. I am grateful for her faith in the Atonement of Christ because I had slipped up once between marriages. Melody is my second wife – now married over 30 years!
I feel like you, that there needs to be an alternative to the immoral erotica that is always depicting sex outside of marriage. MH is the best place to read about how marvelous a marriage sexual relationship CAN be. I think married erotica is inspiring or I wouldn’t both read n write it.
In imaging what a married sexual experience is then writing about it you are acknowledging that God made you a sexual being and sexuality is part of who you are. Imagining and writing about married sex is totally different than writing about immoral extramarital sexual relationships.
To me the MH stories are inspirational and I truly pray that the stories I write are inspiring to others. So I think you writing marriage erotica is fine. Your wife will be a blessed woman to marry you. I’ve said that LLL’s eventual husband will be a blessed man too. I pray for the single members of MH that they can one day marry and have the kind of joy and ecstasy that my Melody & I have.
Thank you for that very kind recommendation and high praise, LovingMan! Your stories about you and Melody continually uplift, educate, and of course arouse me. I am honored if you find those qualities in my writing too.
Based on my walk with GOD, in keeping with Christ and His mandates on how we should guard our hearts and bear fruit in keeping with repentance, I wholeheartedly believe Christian singles can write CHRISTIAN erotica, not just erotica because sex and sexuality are created and to be guided by Biblical principles and right theology.
I’m a single African-American male, too. You and I have identical educational backgrounds. I’m a professional writer and ghostwriter, so I use this site as a place where I can keep my writing juices flowing and release any sexual tension and energy in a righteous manner.
Welcome, brother. Feel free to write your stories. It’d be great to have another single “brother” in this family.
Happy Writing,
Husband In Training (HIT)
" and release any sexual tension and energy in a righteous manner"
That would include masturbating yourself – a righteous wanker.
Good on you HIT, my praise and wishing God's blessing on you.
This is the first paragraph of https://marriageheat.com/what-is-marriageheat-com/
"MarriageHeat.com is about inspiring vital marriages! Marriageheat.com is a movement and anonymous community that inspires beautiful traditional hot monogamy. MarriagHeat.com started with user generated stories about marriage sex. More and more users are understanding “Marriage Heat” to include many characteristics of healthy monogamy and the people themselves that care deeply about this life-long sacred institution."
I would say LovelyLonelyLady would be one of our most prolific writers.
And she is single and masturbates herself, you can read about her journey here on MH.
But for you, today, I recommend this story she wrote last year.
https://marriageheat.com/2024/04/19/hot-broadcast/
We don't know about the couple on the radio, we can hope they are a married couple, who given the pressures of war, are forced to keep their marriage hidden. Clay is clearly a good, godly man, you keep him as an example of male sexual purity.
As a Christian women counting down toward the her 30th year of marriage. I pray I walk in fellowship with God what I say this, to have my "hands dripping with myrrh" (Songs 5:5) is the standard for a Christian woman. https://marriageheat.com/2024/06/02/masturbation-as-sexual-purity/ Purity continues into marriage. Myself, I have been masturbating since I was 12 (knowing what I know now, I wish I had started younger.)
You will read in the stories of husbands and wives of how beneficial masturbation is to their marriages.
All this is to say I see it good that your solo sexual experiences have been with yourself – masturbation. Firstly because it is from God, (it is therefore good), but also as a man, (and to all single men) you could one day be husband and father, As a man, you will be the head of the family. Although there is no verse in the bible one can point to that encourages male masturbation, the above mentioned verse from Songs does encourage female masturbation. Therefore you as husband need to encourage your wife in her masturbation throughout her marriage, but also it would be a good work to encourage single women in their masturbation.
For this, MarriageHeat and good Christian erotica has a place in God's plan to promote, good, healthy Christian sexuality.
God Bless
Sarah K
PS, it is with joy I can boast that I have masturbated throughout my marriage, and been fucked a lot. A good Christian marriage has both!
Your wisdom and accounts of your hot experiences are such a blessing to me. And thank you as well for recommending me! I really had no idea my writing was so inspiring! I am humbled and honored.
" Myself, I have been masturbating since I was 12 (knowing what I know now, I wish I had started younger.)"
It may interest you to know that (according to the book: Eros and the Jews, I think that was the name) there are some Haredi groups in Israel (ultra orthodox Jewish sects) where the mothers teach their daughters to masturbate at age 7.
Unfortunately the same cannot be said for the young men as the Talmud says that semen that is spilled is the genesis of demons.
Watts2, the man who pointed out to me that masturbation is in the bible – Songs 5:5, also told me he had attended a Christian conference. One of the speakers was a Rabbi, he said what you said, that there was an ultra orthodox Jewish sect where the mothers taught their daughters to masturbate. I can't remember what age he said, could have been seven.
To date I had failed to verify it. I would love to know more.
I don't believe Talmudic Judaism is authentically Jewish as it comes from after the time of Christ. Jesus took their teaching authority off them and gave it to the apostles with Peter as their head. Therefore anything from Talmudic Judaism should be considered potentially heretical.
Write things that if they were to happen would be a good thing. Everything in life either leads closer or further away from God. So pick things that align with His ideals and you'll be fine. Cheers!
Welcome Epic82! It is always great to see another single join this forum. It's been a blessing to me since I first stumbled over it in 2020-2021 (I forget the exact date!). My short answer to your question of the morality of writing erotica…God wrote Song of Solomon. It's a whole Biblical book about erotica. God made it good, holy, and hot for the setting of marriage. He has led me to embrace its beauty and write boldly about it as I prepare to someday perhaps be married. So, definitely use your gifts in this area! And we all look forward to your steamy contributions!
Welcome! There are plenty of singles here and while I don't post too often, I like to chime in on discussion posts. I think you've gotten a lot of great encouragement and I'd like to add to that. Not only do Christian singles write fictional erotica on this site, they write about their own satisfying solo experiences! In fact this puts me in mind of a Heinlein quote: "Writing isn't necessarily something to be ashamed of, but do it in private and wash your hands afterward." So please indulge BOTH your propensities. https://marriageheat.com/category/single-masturbation/
This is not necessarily concerning this post (honestly I wish there was a way to direct message or have a small group of experienced Christian couples to ask the question to) but someone brought up the idea of mastrubation being an act of adultery, does anyone have any thoughts or scripture that negate or confirm this?
P.S
I firmly believe that it isn’t and it strengthens one’s relationship and sexuality, I mastrubate often but I am cautious about what I mastrubate to and what comes to mind while I’m doing it. I just wanted some more perspective from the lovely people of MH!
[From MH: Good question! This discussion post from a few months ago might be a more relevant place to start or continue a discussion on this topic:
https://marriageheat.com/2024/07/10/help-with-masturbation-thoughts/ ]
Thank you all for your replies. Having read a bit of material here on this site, I knew you all would give me a lot to think about.
Be creative. Share your heart. Celebrate your God created sexuality and drive. Be faithful to your future bride. Be inspired by others on MH. By all means, masturbate to your delight!!!
Welcome, Epic82!
Can Christian singles write erotica? In short, absolutely, yes!
We would welcome your personal backstory if you'd like to share it, as well as any erotica you want to write and share, as long as it meets the guidelines.
As you correctly said, MarriageHeat is primarily about sharing the experiences of married sexuality, but this community fully encourages singles to share their hopes and dreams for their future marriages.
I'm one of those single writers myself! We have many other singles who have written stories for this site, and even more who have participated in discussions in the comments. Here are some examples of stories written by single authors. Earlier this month, the site published my 3-part series about a fictional future-marriage encounter.
https://marriageheat.com/2025/01/01/atta-girl-part-1/
https://marriageheat.com/2025/01/08/atta-girl-part-2/
https://marriageheat.com/2025/01/15/atta-girl-part-3/
As others have recommended, LLL's writings are great examples too! Here are a couple of recent ones.
https://marriageheat.com/2024/12/31/the-virtuous-vixen/
https://marriageheat.com/2024/11/29/stay-tonight/
Husband In Training and MovieFan2k4 have some good ones too!
(HIT) https://marriageheat.com/2025/01/25/midnight-madness-part-1/ (Part 2 publishing soon!)
(MF2K4) https://marriageheat.com/2025/01/16/a-night-of-ultimate-animalistic-passion/
You also ask, essentially, "What can I write about without having had sex before?" Sometimes singles write about their personal self-exploration/masturbation experiences. But you don't have to write from personal experience! Most singles here write about their hopes, dreams, desires and fantasies that they hope to fulfill in marriage, as you can see in some of the stories I linked above. Part of the beauty of married sexuality is the anticipation and longing for its fulfillment during the single years.
If you're struggling to find inspiration, start by reading a bunch of MH stories (although it sounds like you've done some of that already)! Document what turns you on, what you find most appealing, then write a story based on that! You can use fictional characters, or semi-fictional representations of yourself and your imagined future spouse, like I do in my series above.
I believe that writing erotica as a single person can be a healthy outlet for expressing sexual desire before marriage. It's also a very useful way to help work through and understand what your sexual desires actually are, so that you can better communicate them to your future spouse.
I know this has been very beneficial for me, because when I find the right lady to pursue, I will be able to very clearly define my sexual expectations and desires at the appropriate time in our courtship, and her responses will help me determine if she's the right one for me. So many people run into unexpected mismatches in marriage (differences of sexual drive and preference, and non-sexual areas as well) because they don't take the time to know themselves, know what they're looking for in marriage, and evaluate whether their current courtship partner can provide that. I believe writing erotica can be one part of helping you avoid issues like that by helping you understand your own sexual desires and expectations, and by helping you communicate them to a future spouse! One way I plan to communicate my sexual expectations and desires to my own future wife while we're dating and engaged is by sharing erotica I've written! There are other ways, of course, but for us writers, I think this is a helpful one.
I also believe that the process of healthy sexual growth begins with reading about healthy sexual expression (like in other MH stories). Next comes writing your own fictional stories to practice proactively shaping your sexual attitudes and decisions. (Kind of like writing a response to a word problem in school. It helps
you think through a hypothetical situation so you have a little practice when a real-world situation appears!) From there, you'll be in the most advantageous position to love your future spouse as fully and passionately and pleasurably as possible when the right time arrives.
This describes my personal journey so far! I found MarriageHeat as a God-centered escape from the world of secular, sinful pornography that I was trying to distance myself from. Thanks to MH, I've succeeded in that, and not used secular porn for years! Even better than that, MH has given me the example I needed of biblical sexuality expressed in explicit detail, so that I could learn how to emulate it myself in my single years and future marriage. MH has easily been the biggest positive influence on my development of healthy, Godly sexuality, and I am deeply grateful for it.
So again, welcome to MH, and we hope you will benefit greatly from the wonderful, hot, God-centered examples shared here.
Thanks so much for this post. I think it's really important to masturbate. As Sarah said, start with it when you are young. Never feel guilty or ashamed! I also want to thank you posters here for all the links. Happy masturbation!