When a Girl is a Romantic
This post consists of miscellaneous thoughts from a girl who is a romantic. More and more, I find that small things will bring romantic images or scenarios to my mind, especially as I wait and dream about possibly being married someday. I’ve said in an earlier post that I’m quite stimulated by all my senses, and that was brought home to me again today.
I was sitting outside by the pool, enjoying the early spring sunshine. The day was beautiful (it’s February, but we live in the south). For sunbathing, I dress fairly modestly, usually in a camisole or tankini with removable straps, and shorts. But my top was low enough to expose the very tops of my breasts. Not that there’s much to see, since I’m very small in the chest.
Anyhow, it was breezy, and a thick lock of my hair brushed up against my bare skin near the cami strap, and for some reason, it was a pleasant feeling. I immediately imagined it was my man touching me. To me, there is something very erotic about the approach of summer: getting beachy clothes out, enjoying the weather, going to the coast, trying to get a tan, etc. I think I dream about being pursued by a Godly, handsome man more in the summer than any other season! So this moment was just… well, something that hits a girl when she’s a romantic.
There’s another aspect of waiting for marriage and learning about my sexuality that I really enjoy, and that is the buildup to actually masturbating. Yes, I like the tension and arousal almost more than the real deed. Again, summer is my favorite time for this. Sometimes I’ll get myself worked up as I’m exercising, pausing to rub my mound or grind against the bed, getting ready for when I can release it all. I even love finding, say when I use the restroom, that my underwear is all wet.
I’m amazed that I’m saying this. Once upon a time, I found the wetness embarrassing and disgusting, mainly because I didn’t understand my body. I remember being concerned every time I observed cervical mucus, but I thought I just had thick urine! Now, since I know what’s going on, I relish it. I’m coming to appreciate my own scent (while hoping no one else smells it!) and even dared to taste my juices for the first time recently. Still getting used to that one!
My goal is to keep exploring and find new ways to pleasure myself since in all these years I’ve only had one method that accomplishes anything. If I ever marry, I want to be flexible and not tied to one way of getting any kind of stimulation. I’d love suggestions from the married folks reading this, especially if the ladies are living with a rather insensitive clitoris. Mine just doesn’t respond to touch. It seems like I need full-vulva pressure and massage.
As I’m on the topic of being a romantic and enjoying my senses, I’d like to recount an appointment I had a few weeks ago. I’m having tests done by a fertility doctor and had to go in for an ultrasound. Turns out, they needed to do a transvaginal ultrasound to get a good look at my ovaries and endometrium, and I, who have never had any kind of vaginal exam, wondered what this was going to be like.
A few years ago, I probably would have died from nervousness, embarrassment, and fear if I’d had to let a medical personage penetrate me to do an exam. Thankfully, the atmosphere in the place was very calming and non-medical: comfortable and modern, with the fluorescent lights turned off and replaced with white twinkly lights in the exam room. I appreciated that.
I was told to undress from the waist down, get on the table, and put my feet against the stirrups. I admit I felt a little exposed, but the nurse—a really cheery, confident girl—made me feel so at ease. She probably sees everything and knew I was a little uptight. (Not to mention, I’m physiologically uptight and tense-muscled all the time anyway, to the point that the chiropractor remarks on it, so that doesn’t make this kind of exam easier.)
The nurse explained the procedure and pressed the instrument (which I never got a look at) against my hole. It was covered in a cold gel, and that made me tense up more. She pushed, and it HURT. I mean it really hurt. This was way worse than a tampon or my finger. I couldn’t keep back a few yelps. A few more pushes and it went in, and strangely, the pain vanished. I hardly felt a thing as she moved the device around inside of me. Removing it didn’t hurt either, though my entrance was so tight.
I really hadn’t been nervous per se, but I elegantly began to feel faint while getting dressed and had to lie down for a few minutes. I told the nurse I always get really pent up before any kind of medical appointment, my digestion shuts down, I might feel sick, or I’m just shaky. She was so nice about it, saying she was the same way. She said she gets high blood pressure just going to work, and she isn’t even the one having this stuff done to her! I thanked her for being so kind.
My takeaway afterward was this: I didn’t get embarrassed to show an intimate part of my body because I’ve gotten comfortable with it. I now appreciate it as a part of me that God deems just as lovely as any other part. Hopefully, it will one day be a source of pleasure to a wonderful man and a place where he can give me pleasure.
That appointment was a victory for me. I’m embracing everything about being a woman, and find it kind of a triumph just to know that I endured being penetrated by something. It made me feel more confident about the first time I’ll have sex with my husband. It might hurt, and it’ll most likely take time and work and adjusting, but I’m all in.
The last thing I’ll say is that I tried, for a fleeting moment, to imagine that it was my husband entering me while I was having that ultrasound. That’s a little tough when it’s cold and painful and not a romantic setting, but the thought did pop into my mind. After all, I’m a girl who is a romantic!
Beautiful and sweet. What a lovely insight to your romantic heart. Your future husband will be truly blessed!
I agree.
Blessings to you in your life’s journey! I am a Surgical Technologist. It is wonderful how you embraced your exam and took a positive POV toward it. Your physical discomfort was much to do about patient anxiety. Not being a romantic encounter, your body, subconsciously stands guarded even when you consciously determine otherwise. God has created a wonderful and amazing systems in us. When you find that man for you, your first time will likely be both joyous and guarded. Joyfully anticipated but subconsciously guarded for lack of real experience.
On another note: your thoughts here are simply amazing. What I get from your words and sentences is a picture of a loving, passionate, intelligent, fun-loving, sensual, yet Godly modest person who would make a wonderful mate. I pray our God will send Mr. Right-eous your direction.
Oh….I liked your comment about enjoying the arousal buildup almost more than the deed. I believe you have a wonderful sexual POV. The big O is wonderful but the journey to get there is amazingly and tantalizingly delightful. Teaching your future husband that beautiful aspect might take some patience and time. For me, I had to learn that and I am joyed I did. Sometimes I don’t want the journey to end. My wife and I have had sessions where we had smorgasbords of sex for 4 hours or more. Blessings to you and again I pray that God will direct your path onto a collision course with the right man!
Thank you for the kind comment! I am really grateful for folks who build me up with words of encouragement as I walk this road of discovery and waiting. I pray I will be the woman a Godly man dreams of. The Lord still has work to do on me, though!
LLL, I’m really happy for your awakening journey. We had so much sex-negativity in the purity culture that my wife equated being a “Godly woman” with being asexual. It’s still a struggle for her to really enjoy all her body is capable of. I’m glad that you are pursuing a Godly life that includes being sexually vibrant!
LLL, your stories are so well written with a sweet mixure of romance and sexual tension for your one-day hubby. Becoming and being comfortable with one’s sexuality and self pleasure is God’s design and purpose. Keep exploring, experimenting, and enjoying your fantasies, imaginations, and self love.
I remember as a young, horny guy worrying about pre-cum wetness (felt so good!). Then I figured that if someone looked that hard to see if there was a little wet spot, then let them have a thrill! Enjoy tHE sexy wetness of your panties. Enjoy the sweet taste of yourself, too! I find that tasting my pre-cum really makes me horny. Keep it coming!
LLL I love how beautiful your mind and your words are and I’m so proud of you for having this mindset about your sexuality. It is a very nice feeling (sometimes you feel very needy like you need touch/stimulation) when you realize you all of the sudden have wet panties. Those are our lady parts working and even small things like this tend to get me excited. Working out has also always made me very horny.
I have to admit I also have had the mere thought slip into my mind during vaginal exams at the obgyn. Sometimes it can make you relax more if you do think about being penetrated by something other than a medical object. I remember telling myself to think of it as a toy and someone helping me because it was so hard to relax at these kinds of exams. When I was pregnant, my hormones had taken over my body, and even them inserting their fingers to make sure everything was fine would get me carried away. I get wet very easily, but when I was pregnant, I felt like I lived in wet panties no matter how often I changed them. I would get almost embarrassed about them examining me (no matter the kind of exam) because it looked like I was extremely aroused already. This is another beautiful part to embrace as a woman and all the things our bodies can do.
To SilverGold- I am definitely the kind of girl who would see a pre-cum stain or an accidental boner and my body would go nuts. And yes, I would get very wet panties over seeing something like that. It’s such a natural and fascinating thing to me that seeing a guy and these natural bodily functions really still get me worked up.
Alwayswet, that’s very 🔥🔥🔥🔥
I am pleased you have cum (pun intended) to terms with your wetness and scent, both of which your future husband will adore and find arousing. This, as we know, together with your husbands pre cum, is God's way of preparing for an easier entry into the very sacred depths of your sex for you both to enjoy and become as one.
Keep trying to get used to the taste of your juices—I love the taste of my precum and spunk—because after mutual oral, you will probably kiss each other with open mouths. It could be a mood killer to wipe mouths first.
I love the way you like the build up to your masturbation; beautiful isn’t it?
I have to make the odd confession that I have never seen a guy with a boner in real life! Maybe because I am so used to being proper and don't ever look at guys' crotches. 😋 But I know if I get married I will be on the lookout for a hard-on on my man! That gets me excited just thinking about it!
LLL, that makes sense, but if you do see one—no matter whose it is— if you are actually seeing them get a boner/try to hide it, I guarantee you that you’ll be finding your panties wet, and you’ll find you need some touch. It’s one of the sexiest things. I know this seems like an overrated concept, but if my hubby puts on grey sweatpants, it’s over. Also gets me excited just thinking about it! You are not alone, girly.