Protecting Your Lover’s Heart
This post falls in the category of “keeping it real”. Marriageheat is one of my favorite sites and has been an encouragement to me over the past couple of years. It has been a source of “spice” for my wife and I. More importantly it has been a great place for believers to enourage one another to view sexuality from a bibical perspective.
My wife and I have been married for 20+ years and have a wonderful sex life. We have three kids and make love an average of 1-2 times per week.
From time to time however things get out of synch. Tonight was one of those nights. I tried something that I knew was not on my wife’s top ten list but from time to time she allowed me to try. Well the result for tonight is that I hurt her feelings. I have apologized but can tell that she is still hurt. I feel terrible and know it may take a day or two to fully resolve the matter.
My point in sharing this is to encourage others that even in really good marriages mistakes are made, feelings get hurt and fences need to be mended. Making love is a vunerable and risky proposition. On the one hand that is what makes sex so exhilirating and intimate, and at other times can lead to hurt feelings. When you make a mistake, say your sorry, buy flowers, talk it out, be gentle and patient, say I love you, do little things to reconnect. Remember that your spouse is a blessing from the Lord. Focus on protecting your spouse’s heart and the Lord will bless your marriage bed. Blessings
Good words! And a good reminder! We’ve had many days like the one you are describing. We’ll try something new at night and sometimes one of us will like it and one of us won’t. Sometimes neither of us like it. And then we spend most of the next day a little disconnected while we process exactly how we feel and why we feel the way we do about the encounter. But it’s happened enough now that we always know we need to find a chance that day to sit down and have a nice long heart to heart. Like you said, it’s the risk you take when you are being that vulnerable with another human being. We have to care for each other’s souls as well as each other’s bodies. And I think sometimes people can get a little lazy or a little unsure of how to do that, and I think that can make for a lot of problems in a marriage. Thanks for sharing! I hope you and the mrs. bounce back quickly from this!
Thank you for the encouragement. The Mrs and I are doing well. I actually wrote this post a couple of weeks ago but discovered yesterday that I had not hit the “submit for review” button. Oops. Appreciate the observation that our responsibility is to take care of our spouses soul not just their body.