Masturbation Liberation
Hello MH!
I recently posted an article titled “Dating Guidelines and Questions.” I wanted to gain some knowledge/advice from other Christians, and you all were a big help!
I was asked by a member to share what happened when my girlfriend and I talked about masturbation, and I am overjoyed to tell you that it couldn’t have gone better! I took her out to lunch, and we spent close to two hours discussing masturbation from a Christian perspective. Now that I’ve told you the outcome, I’ll go into a little bit of detail about the discussion.
My girlfriend and I just ordered our food, and then we began talking about odds and ends. We had both talked previously about our views regarding pornography as we had both “dabbled” in that sin. I brought up masturbation by saying something along the lines of, “Do you remember how we shared with each other some struggles that we had? I would also like to share with you something I once considered a struggle, but that I’ve come to learn is a gift. I want to hear your opinions about masturbation.”
Ironically enough, she had been wanting to talk about it, too, but couldn’t find the courage (isn’t it amazing how God works?). She then told me that her dad and she talked about it before. He came to the conclusion that if one isn’t lusting by fantasizing or watching explicit videos, that masturbation isn’t a sin and that it’s healthy. Although she holds that same view, she told me that she still feels guilty for doing it. She asked me how I overcame that guilt, and I was ready with an answer.
I then told her about my experience with MH and how it changed my view on masturbation while providing an outlet that freed me from porn. I was worried that she would look down on the website, but she said that she supports it. However, she doesn’t want to use it. Like all things, she says that it could become an addiction if you let it consume you. Any thoughts about that?
However, sharing MH with her gave me the opportunity to read HornyHubby’s article about Christian masturbation. Let’s just say that it was a hit! We talked for a while, and it completely rid her of the guilt of masturbation!
With all that being said, I want to thank y’all again for your help, encouragement, advice, and prayers. Also, thank you for being a light for Christian sexuality. You’ve changed my life, and I’m sure many others can say the same.
Thanks again, and God bless! -PM
This is so fantastic that this conversation with your gf went over so well. No matter what the future holds for the two of you, this experience is one of freedom and promise…and that is a great thing!
I feel like I should say something about the question of addiction that she raised…but I don’t have much. I just know that I’ve had a mild porn addiction in the past and I’ve had some problems with video games too…and at least for me, the desire I have to be a part of MH is not the same at all. I think maybe the difference is the community. In both of the other situations, my desire was very selfish and me-centric. But when I come to MH, it’s not like that. Here I am interested in the people and in their journeys….and the way our journeys might connect….and that’s a whole different type of attraction. And I think it is pure, because God created us for deep relationship…and despite our desire to be anonymous, we do forge some pretty significant community on this site.
The other thing I’d say about addiction is that it isn’t always a bad thing. We think it is, bc we use it in phrases like drug addiction and porn addiction, but I heard of a study recently that found that similar things happen in the brain during an “addiction” as happen in the brain of a person who is totally sold out for a cause or a project that they have thrown themselves into. So, like maybe an obsessed mountain climber is experiencing some similar brain waves as a person who has been playing halo for 3 days straight. And we’d never say the mountain climber had a problem, but we would say that about the gamer. So some of the problem with addiction just has to do with what you are addicted to. If you are addicted to something that edifies you rather than something that harms you, maybe it isn’t something to worry about.
Anyway, there’s my 2 cents. I’m so glad you shared the rest of this story!
Great advice, Eva! I agree! Thanks for sharing!
That’s awesome, PM! So glad to hear you were able to have a constructive discussion on this topic. I remember the first time Lord X and I talked about masturbation when we were going out. It really was freeing to both tell each other where we were at on it. Many happy wishes to you both in wherever God leads the two of you! Blessings – Silver
Thank you so much for sharing about your conversation, Paul! I am so happy to hear that the Holy Spirit kept the lines open and blessed instead of awkward! I’ve been praying for you and your girlfriend! Thank you for keeping us posted! I hope to hear more and look forward to your being a long-term member here at MH!