Getting in the mood - keep the singing birds in your marriage

Getting in the Mood: Keep the Singing of the Birds Alive

Getting in the Mood can be challenging sometimes. How do you stay love birds? We are all busy. “Busy” is good. You are living your life! But despite your busy life, sexual health is very important in your marriage. Almost every married couple loves that “hungry for you” feeling. But sometimes the demands of work and family, church and “other activities” make it hard for getting in the mood.

The Biblical book,  Song of Songs features pictures about the time for the singing of the birds. The singing of the birds is that desire for each other for marital love. Song of Songs 2:11-13 says,  For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone;  12 The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land;   The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away.

How do you keep that "Arise, my love" attitude? How do we keep the birds singing in our hearts for each other?

Pray for Your Attitudes

Pray that your thoughts will be for your spouse and that your spouse's thoughts will be for you. Pray that God will help guard your mind from the various temptations that will hurt your intimate and romantic thinking.  "Prayer" may be the most important item on this list. Here is a suggestion. Pray this prayer together on a regular basis.  "Lord, help us to develop our desire for each other. Give us creativity which is God's glorifying and loving toward each other.  Amen."

Getting in the Mood by Setting  Your Priorities

If you don’t make married heat a priority, this will hurt you from getting in the mood. This includes some time for getting in the mood activities that relax you. A bath, a story, a nice walk, a date night, a movie.  While we all like the “spontaneous” most of us will need to actually schedule their time around this priority.  Getting in the mood includes thinking about your relational and sexual life.

Getting in the Mood without Resorting to Pornography.

Not only is pornography immoral and Biblically offensive to God and your spouse. Pornography is like cheap candy that fills your mind with unrealistic images and expectations. Not all sexual creativity is the same. Pornography encourages immoral unrealistic expectations that fuel wanderlust for “better” experiences with other lovers. Song of Songs writings in the Bible encouraged sexual practice between a man and a woman in the bonds of marriage. Marriage heat stories encourage realistic and moral expectations that fuel more of your own creativity and closeness.

Getting in the Mood Interaction

Flirting with your spouse at different heat levels can set up sexual hunger for latter. You can text or email. Be careful that you keep this private. You might want to send your wife flowers. You might want to meet your husband for lunch with no panties on. A lot of times people say that women need romance and guys need sex. Getting in the mood is a lifestyle that gives the opposite sex those cues that create later “sizzle.” A husband can be more subtle and romantic.  This effort itself put him and his wife in the mood. A wife can be more “sex” minded which puts her and her husband in the mood.

Getting in the Mood: Find out what works for you.

Each person and marriage has a history of things that prompt sexual interest. Most husbands find that masturbation does not help and they want to save their stamina. Many women report that masturbation turns them on for later and even turns their husband on. But these types of things are very unique to each person and marriage. What ever works for you, talk openly about it so that you do not have some secret hidden thing that may hurt your relationship. You will find that most times your spouse will love to know more about what gets you in the mood.

Remember if you do not build your sexual heat in your marriage, it will not usually build itself. Getting in the mood is not automatic; it is born out of love and commitment.  Share your comments of what gets you in the mood.

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  1. Yuelao says:

    Marriage is a commitment, a vow. You make a vow for your intimate life too, to work on it, to talk about it, to make sure it works for both of you. It is like other things in the relationship, do we have enough money, are we in the right jobs, do we live in the right place, is our sex life satisfying? It needs to be reviewed occasionally. I have often invited my wife to our own Sex Summit. We explore what we do or don't do, what we both need and any new ideas. I am more thoughtful about our sex life, my wife enjoys sex but doesn't do a lot of thinking about it or develop new ideas. I have had to learn to accept that and have taken more responsibility for ensuring our sex life is healthy. My wife looks after the finances, I look after the sex!!

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