Losing My Virginity For Real

My husband and I are twenty-nine. In many ways, we should not be together anymore. Well, let me tell our story. We were married at 24. We were not virgins when we were married, and we were not Christians though born in Christian homes. We went to major universities, and we studied hard and partied hard. We met a year after we graduated from college, and we thought we were the perfect match. I thought I was bi-sexual, and he said he loved that about me. We were to be that “modern” couple who believed in pushing the lines of sexuality. After we had been married for a year, we became “bored” with each other.  We went online and watched late-night cable looking for answers on how to spice up our sex life. We “opened” up our marriage to include more partners and some swinging. I filled my imagination with porno creativity, and so did my husband.  I had a bucket list of all the “pleasurable” things I was going to try.

At first, it was fun, and it could turn us on as we pushed the limits. I noticed that I was loving my husband less and becoming critical of him. He, in turn, was more and more critical of me. We would compare notes about some of our experiences, and I was realizing that soon I was not going to find him satisfying enough and vice-versa.  I realized that it took more and more pornography to feed our sexual cravings. We were getting into weird stuff, and it was dangerous. Having my husband in one hole and having someone else in another hole while someone else is in my mouth looked sexy in the porn movies, but in reality, it was a lot of pressure to perform. And it injured me too.

While I preferred threesomes with another woman, that too got crowded. After the orgasms settled and everyone left, I was lonely. At first porn and masturbation eased the sadness. My husband was just as lonely. We were not loving each other.

Soon drugs entered the picture. Cocaine did the trick for me, but it kept both of us going recklessly down the path of destruction. But the truth was that I had never been so horny and so lonely at the same time. My horniness was painful, and the sexual release brought no freedom.

The final crash happened in one threesome when I saw that my husband was preferring another woman to me, and I honestly preferred the woman to him. What was happening to us? We were a mess. We needed to talk. Our conclusion was that we wanted to stay together, but how?

My husband and I took a break from sex and drugs to sober up to clearer thinking. Our bodies craved the drugs more than the sex, interestingly. A flyer came in the mail inviting us to church.  That sounded good to us. The message that day was “Real Love.” In that message, we heard what is called “the Gospel.” Both my husband and I confessed our sins and asked Jesus to enter our souls. We became different in the next several weeks. It was not long before we were feeling different about each other. We still abstained from making love, seeking to become right with God.

At around the first of that year, the pastor had a message, “Forgetting What’s Behind and Straining Ahead.” The point of the message: Forgive yourself and everyone who needs forgiving, and move on in Christ to live a life that glorifies God.  My husband and I took that step in prayer that day and dedicated our marriage to glorify God. We also determined that we were going to make love again soon. Honestly, a fun and deep horny feeling for my husband was heating up inside of me. My husband would sit with me in church with his hand touching me, and my panties would get very wet.

It was our fourth anniversary. We left the church to head on our way home. I sat there in the car as I waited for my husband to start driving.  I have to admit, I continued to feel quite horny, and I could tell he was too by the way he kept staring at my breasts.

He started driving while I eyed his lower area. Slowly, he took my hand and started rubbing his groin with it until I was doing it on my own. I could feel him getting harder and harder until his erection began to rise, and he was moaning. He took my left breast in his hand as I turned to give him a better grasp.  Soon he pulled down a backroad where no one would see us. Once he pulled over, I quickly unbuckled and straddled him. He wrapped his arms around me and started to kiss me passionately with hunger!  Our hands were exploring each other’s body as he thrust, making my body bounce up and down on him.

Soon we were in the back seat, breathing heavily and undressing one another. I unclasped my bra as he opened his belt. He pulled my panties off, and I sat on his cock. It was as if we experienced sex for the first time—as if I had given my virginity away finally, for real.

God is changing us. In the last year, we have lived our honeymoon year. God is so wonderful! This website is such an inspiration. I especially thank all you hot married ladies who are mentoring me to be a real sexy woman. My husband and I are truly alive now.

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13 replies
  1. lynda and dave says:

    thanks for the story …………….yes I feel moving forward is the right way to go. many of us have a past that we are not proud of.
    to me it seems that your husband and you are meant to be.
    so I think that you both are supposed to be together and you seem like you have both learnt the lesson that has bought you closer together. life is about second chances and you are both a part of gods big plan

  2. jezuz11 says:

    Thank you. For a lot of us with no experience down that road, there is a tittlation in rule breaking – threesomes, swinging, mixing in drugs, etc. Tho’ I’m sorry for the hard road for you, I am SO grateful for this first hand account on where that road leads. It helps reveal the Truth. God is using even those pre-Christ years to inspire us (at least me) today.

  3. smitten says:

    From Smiiten to Imagination: You are to be admired and congratulated for finding your way out of Satan’s snare. Solomon had 300 wives and 700 concubines, wisdom, wealth, and power .. .And yet: Ecclesiastes 12:13: Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Respect(fear) God and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man.
    God bless you and your husband.

  4. Lovinghusband says:

    What a God-glorifying testimony of the power of Christ to save us in our lostness! I am so glad for where God has brought you both. I hope your testimony gives encouragement to many.

    It is so true – that only Christ can satisfy us in the depth of our souls. No marriage partner, and not even great sex between a loving husband and wife can fully satisfy anyone. We were made to ONLY be fulfilled (in the ultimate sense) by the love of God in Jesus Christ. Anyone who has expectations for their spouse to “satisfy” them (in the ultimate sense) is working against God’s design. Our marriages are designed to point us to the ultimate marriage – between Christ and His bride (the church). When we come to faith in Christ, we enter into the ultimate marriage union. Thus, our living out our married roles with our spouses helps us to grow in our discipleship in Christ. Of course, our experience of this will be so much more enhanced in eternity than they are now. Yet, if we have our minds renewed continually by the Scriptures – we can experience much renewal now.

    I am so glad for the renewal you two have come to. Your experience on the ride home was like – “God has made some major corrections in our minds and experience…now He wants us to function together how He designed for us”. We rejoice with you both in God’s abundant mercy, forgiveness, and goodness!!! LH

  5. Deane says:

    Thank you for sharing this beautiful testimony of salvation, deliverance, and sexual healing that you found in the Lord together. You know, the world says monogamy is "boring". They say that keeping things to one man and one woman is "limiting" and "confining". That's Satan's lie! You can go "wide", with multiple partners, or you can go "deep" with just one lifelong partner, but you cannot do both. In my youth I also learned that lesson the hard way. Promiscuity brings temporary excitement, but it DOES NOT bring satisfaction. Period. But in the 21 years that I've been married, I've found that having sex with only one woman — my beautiful bride Mary — DOES satisfy! There's always more to learn about each other — it's no coincidence that in the Bible, the Hebrew word for marital sex is the same as the word for "knowledge." Interesting, that word IS NOT used in extramarital contexts — such as David's adultery with Bathsheba. A different Hebrew word is used there — because immorality CANNOT bring about the "knowing" that comes from the union of souls at the deepest level. Only sex in that exclusive and permanent relationship called MARRIAGE can do that. I learned that the hard way, having sown my wild oats in my 20s (I needed a lot of spiritual and emotional healing for that, but that's another story to share another day). But then I got married — and started learning what God intended sex to be. I'm still learning, 21 years later! And I'm so glad to hear that you are, too. Much love to you both.

  6. CrazyHappyLoved says:

    This story resonated with me on so many levels. As a young married couple, Rez and I had the same attitude: the freedom of an open marriage was the door to true "fulfillment". Little did we know the trouble it would bring into our relationship, nearly ending it. Praise God that, like you, our marriage was saved by Him and for His glory. Thank you for writing this, Imagination.

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