In nineteen years of marriage, my wife and I have experienced incredible highs and profound lows. Through it all, we continue to work to be the strongest husband and wife and parents we can be.
In recent years, we have focused on improving our sexual communication with each other. My wife struggled for many years, dining from a different sexual menu than the one that was proven to be efficient and productive. Gradually, she has opened up and is becoming more comfortable in her skin.
Where once she refused to masturbate (alone or with me), now we mutually masturbate for each other regularly, and have begun to get more comfortable sharing sex with each other when we are apart through technology.
Sexual communication is not easy – but we are working together to respond to each other’s interests and needs. What I once saw as “encouraging,” she saw as “pressuring”. As I’ve worked to reduce the amount of pressure I applied, she has worked to initiate and respond to overtures from me. As our trust in each other’s willingness to respect the other has increased, so has our sexual energy. Now, she has begun welcoming and seeing my “encouragement” as just that – encouragement (she also even took me up on a dare to masturbate in the car while I was driving home from a long trip!).
This awakening is an amazing opportunity for us to reconnect. The fewer sexual walls that exist between us make it easier to remove any other barriers that exist throughout our relationship. What was once frustration for each of us in thinking about sex is now a growing excitement to see where tomorrow takes us.
And who would have thought that all those people who say it starts with open communication were right…? 🙂
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