Betrayal
Marriage Heat community, I just wanted to share this story and possibly open a discussion. Call me naïve, but I didn’t realize there were sites out there where you could share pics of your significant other in various states of undress. So recently a friend of mine was telling me about a co-worker we will call him Kyle who was going around the office showing pics of his wife nude and in provocative poses that he had planned to post to a site. I will not give address of site as I don’t want to give it any publicity but he stated that Kyle was posting these pics that were for his eyes only to this site and requesting comments and based on positive feedback he would post more. I just want to say that first of all that is the ultimate betrayal of trust and disgusting, also when questioned by my friend as to what if his wife was recognized by someone Kyle’s response was he made sure that he never used any pics with her face in them. I don’t mean to sound like a prude because my wife and I have sent provocative pics to each other before and have even recorded ourselves having sex but those things are locked up and are for our eyes only.
So Marriage Heat Community, please sound off, let me hear your thoughts and opinions
Wow, scary. If he was passing them around the office then he’s already disclosed to someone seeing the pics her identity! I have to try to be reasonable, some women like to be shown off in this way. If that is the case, she would know what he was doing, or she asked him to do it. Even if she is aware, there are still dangers. My husband is an avid photographer. If the metadata isn’t removed properly people can still find you. Also, once the pics are up there is no telling who will find them and use them for their own purposes. It may be posted on a “soft” site then have someone post them later on a harder site. Often in a way that we would not agree with. The big problem is that the person that owns the pics is the person that takes the pics. So even though it is a pic of you, often times legally it can be difficult to get them taken down. Usually the only way is by copyrighting your own image then suing the site for infringement. That is a long and difficult process. Revenge posting is very popular apparently. This is using sites to post nude pics of your ex that were taken in confidence. Also, some malware can be used by an outside person to steal any images on your computer. (Don’t mind my terms, my husbands the genius). So taking the pics can be fun, but be safe for both of you. Encrypt your pics.
This man is showing inappropriate images around work, that is sexual harassment. He could lose his job. If the photos were found and identified by her employer, she could lose her job. (Especially if she is a school teacher. Most teachers that have this happen to them are often considered unemployable)
It needs to be said that there are a number of art sites that will post nude images of men and women that have nothing to do with sex. Often times the models have chosen to do this as a way to over come deep trauma. As a way to help their healing process. Usually the people posted are very real looking. You’ll find people of all shapes and sizes. The images will portray all types of moods, from loneliness to peace. The full gambit. This is about celebrating our humanity. These pic are usually taken by professionals that do everything they can to keep the models safe. Still, they sign consent forms making them aware of the dangers.
Back to the topic at hand, if someone I love had betrayed my trust by posting images of me. I would be hurt deeply. It may be enough for me to end a relationship permanently. That is saying a lot, for I believe marrage is an institution designed by God and should never be taken lightly. I worry that this poor women doesn’t know and she will find out once it is to late to stop the betrayal, shame, and pain it will cause. I pray for her. May God intervene. I also thank God every day for a loving husband who’s deepest desires are to protect me and follow the word of God. I appreciate all of you here at MH. It is good to talk about things that matter with people who see things in such a clear way. Thank you.
Thank You Finding Light for your insightful opinion and yes these topics are always good to talk about.
I wrote this post late. Also I have pregnant brain. So it’s a bit jumbled. My husband even checked it! My points are still valid.
We are thinkers, so we keep a lot of facts rumbling around our heads. I know that we don’t come across as compassionate as most. We feel it, just have a harder time communicating it.
1. Does his wife know he is doing this? Showing her off to co workers and posting on the site? And even though he says he doesn’t post her face, he is still identifying her as his wife and sharing the website. So any person he has told can go to the site and see his wife! (That might make it awkward at the company Christmas party when she shows up with him!)
2. He needs to be careful about sharing those pictures with coworkers. He is putting himself at risk for a sexual harassment charge brought against him. Either from his job or from a coworker. He may find himself unemployed and/or in court. If he wants to do something like that, do it on his own time and keep it out of work.
3. Most importantly, again, does his wife know he is doing this? Even aside from the right and wrong of it (I think it would be wrong to post pictures for others to see, even if you hide the face) but doing it without your wife’s knowledge and consent would be an even bigger problem! If they together got a kick out of posting pictures and reading comments and she liked doing that too, that just raises another issue but at least she would know about it. I think it’s worse if she doesn’t even know about it.
HH thank you for your response
1. No she is completely unaware of this from what I understand
2. I honestly never thought about that part but yes he could be fired for sexual harrasment.
3. same answer as #1
Nude pics or footage of you and/or your spouse should be for your eyes only, don’t show it to others, as it might lead to coveting
Harper yes I agree but this guy from what I understand is not very stable and may have some other issues from what my friend has told me.
What kind of issues? Is it serious?
Harper as I understand he has issues with viewing pornography and I think this his next step to fulfill his desires.
How awful! My heart goes out to him, I’ll pray for him. God bless you, Hopeful Hubby.
If she doesn’t know…wow…., poor girl. I hope someone has the courage to tell her what is going on and to stand by her while she gets herself out of that situation.