Marriage Heat vs. Mr. & Mrs. Normal (Reflections for the New Year)
Dear MH Family,
I think Amy Sue’s making reference to “Mrs. Normal” is a profoundly useful term for us to address again and again here on MH.
I encourage you to read her story “A New Wife For A Great Husband“. You will see how she uses “Mrs. Normal” in her story.
I think most of us here deal with a “Mr. Normal” and “Mrs. Normal” in our marriage sex in a number of ways. I’m not writing what all those ways are here.
I want to encourage others to comment here; or write a complete story on how “Mr. and Mrs. Normal” influence your sexual thinking and practices.
In the case of Amy Sue – it was about overcoming Mrs. Normal. Yet, she also showed that Mrs. Normal still lurks in their bedroom (and wherever they have sex). I celebrate and rejoice over what Amy Sue wrote. Yet, there are many of us still paralyzed to some extent by Mr. and Mrs. Normal.
Certainly, understanding biblical truth, praying, and communicating are parts to overcoming Mr. and Mrs. Normal.
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So, to get some helpful dialogue in these comments going, here are few sentence starters for the comment section:
- The biggest Mr. and/or Mrs. Normal barrier in our sexual relationship is:
- We have made progress in our overcoming Mr. and/or Mrs. Normal by doing this:
- We have come a long way in this battle with Mr. and/or Mrs. Normal and if I could just communicate this one thing lovingly to my spouse today it would be:
- We are currently being frustrated by Mr. and/or Mrs. Normal in this one main area of our sexual relationship:
- We don’t expect perfection in this life. That said, the one area that it seems like we have simply accepted Mr. and/or Mrs. Normal in our sex lives is:
- As a wife, the biggest issue that I recognize and want to overcome from Mrs. Normal in my life is:
- As a husband, the biggest issue that I recognize and want to overcome from Mr. Normal in my life is:
- I’m a Christian. I don’t believe in magic. But, if I had the power to change one thing in the way Mr. or Mrs. Normal influences my spouse’s thinking and practice, it would be:
- I need God to give me patience with my spouse as I wait for the next season of growth and overcoming Mr. and/or Mrs. Normal in this one area of our lives:
- I’m grateful for the victory of God’s love in and through my life as I love my spouse, even though I am sometimes frustrated by this certain area of powerful influence of Mr. and/or Mrs. Normal in our lives:
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So, ponder those and look at the comments from others. We will discover our blind spots, see our strengths and weaknesses, and learn from each other. We might even see how God sometimes allows Mr. and Mrs. Normal to keep us humble in some ways to benefit us.
So, “class is in session” – let’s learn from each other’s joys, triumphs, challenges, and trials. May I encourage us to write about our spouses in a way that will be honest, but also not being unduly critical. May God bless us all – and stimulate red hot monogamy through our comments! LH
LL
Hello there! I'm glad that a story on here has encouraged you to write some words of wisdom! God bless you and yours, brother and a Happy New Year! 😀
LH,
I've been anxiously awaiting a post from you! You always bring such wisdom along, and I love that, and you also know how to get us all thinking.
I really enjoyed AllySue's post, and was very happy she shared her story. It's a great one!
My husband and I have come a long way. I would say in the beginning of our marriage I was a bit of a stuffed shirt, Mrs. Normal all of the way. I didn't like trying new things, I cringed at the idea of oral, and quite frankly I didn't care much for sex. I was Mrs. Boring!
The things is I had these desires, but I feared they were bad or dirty. To make a very long story short I came across MH, it liberated me! All of the desires I had, I finally felt like I could make them happen, however I wasn't sure my husband would feel the same way.
We've come quite a long way, like I've said, and I have become much more adventurous in the bedroom, as well as confident thanks to MH. I've slowly been revealing my desires and fantasies to my husband and while he's a good sport I'm usually the one that pushes these fantasies/desires of mine forward. He's getting there though, he's surprised me a couple of times. There are so many things I still want to try, role play being one of them, but it takes some courage. I went from Mrs. Normal to Mrs. Adventurous overnight, it was a lot for my husband to take in, he didn't know what happened to me. So while we've come a long way, we're still a work in progress, the nice part is that being a work in progress can be quite fun! ?
LH. Wow. I had not idea my post would be talked about. My pastor's wife continued the discussion on Sex after the MH suggestion. I plan on posting some more stories about my own journey. Some of the other women at the study are also on a great sex positive journey.. I love MH.
Normal to us is not much at all, but there might be hope for the future. We'll see. It's nothing that I'd be comfortable posting on a public forum like this, though.
As a wife, the biggest issue that I recognize and want to overcome from Mrs. Normal in my life is to have as much fun as I can with my husband and stop letting fear rule my decisions and also ruin my sex life. We have enough crap to deal with, why not use your marriage as an escape from all the cares of this world and relax in each other and have fun!!