A Different Kind Of Praise

Is Sex Worship?

What is the best way to thank God for giving you your spouse than by cherishing your spouse in all aspects of your marriage including sex–something he deems sacred and reserved only for marriage.

If our bodies are a temple, a place of worship, then by following a sacred vow to only share sex with our spouse we are worshiping in the temple of the one flesh he has made us to be.

The definition of worship is reverent honor and homage paid to God or a sacred personage, or to any object regarded as sacred.

Or: to feel an adoring reverence or regard for (any person or thing).

“I was glad when they said to me, ‘Let us go to the House of the Lord.'” 

Psalms 122:1 AMP

Maybe I’m stretching this, maybe I’m not.  But they’re talking about the temple of the Lord in Jerusalem.  But we Post-Christ believers know that thanks to Jesus the Veil has been torn and the Lord is no longer housed in the Temple, he lives within all of us.  So if you’re sliding into or onto your spouse, isn’t that entering the house of the Lord?  And what else are we supposed to do but Praise the Lord in the Temple.  When most of us think praise, we think singing, dancing and prayer but the definition of praise is to express warm approval or admiration of or the expression of approval or admiration for someone or something.

Now if you’re like me, born and raised up in the church, and not just the church but a Black Baptist Church, you may struggle with the idea of giving praise to something or someone other than God. But like with a lot of teachings in the church, we must always do our own study of the Word of God. Proverbs 31:28-29 says, “Her children stand and bless her.  Her husband praises her: “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world, but you surpass them all.” I praise my wife for the things she can do and the things she lets me do in bed.  I praise her for how she looks, how she does her up keep on her temple making sure it continues to look good.  I praise her for who she is.  By praising I mean adoring and admiring the person she is and the body that comes along with it, and by admiring her I’m admiring God’s creation that he specifically made for me.  I’m celebrating all the blessings in my life that come through being married to this woman.

I am celebrating all she is, but I also use her when I’m going through some tough times. Think about how a bad day can get better once you see your spouse. See being the key word? From there they may eat you out or give you head or rub your feet, anything to make you feel better, and ultimately sometimes a mind-blowing climax through sex is just what we need. Problems seem to melt away–this can be the same type of comforting feeling when praising and worshiping in church. Now I grew up Baptist, so I’ve seen the shouting, the dancing up and down the aisles, the random songs in the middle of sermons and the tears shed. But I’ve also been to non-denominational churches and seen the lifted hands and genuine overwhelming love they feel and once again not to mention the tears.  We all worship in Church in different ways, that doesn’t mean there is any one right way to worship God. As long as we are showing genuine admiration for what he has blessed us with and for who he is, then that is true worship.  Can you really tell me that Marriage and sex should be exempt from that?

“FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND HIS MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED [and be faithfully devoted] TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. This mystery [of two becoming one] is great; but I am speaking with reference to [the relationship of] Christ and the church. However, each man among you [without exception] is to love his wife as his very own self [with behavior worthy of respect and esteem, always seeking the best for her with an attitude of lovingkindness], and the wife [must see to it] that she respects and delights in her husband [that she notices him and prefers him and treats him with loving concern, treasuring him, honoring him, and holding him dear].”

EPHESIANS 5:31-33 AMP (underlined emphasis from me).

Patty L’s LifePositive post about MH saving someone’s marriage was so accurate and heartwarming. A lot of marriages fail due to sexual frustration and through that comes outside temptation. Staying close to your spouse physically can continually ignite the fire of passion you all have for one another, BUT that shouldn’t be what a marriage is built upon. Sex comes from seeing, hearing, and admiring what your spouse is to you, to God, to your kids, to whatever they have an investments and influences on in this life. Through that understanding comes a passion to give back to them all that they give. You let them know in that moment how much you appreciate them with the major senses–touch, taste, sight, sound, and smell.

You taste how good their sex is–their nipples, their penis, their vagina, their lips, their neck, their earlobe, their toes, etc. You see how good they look to you (and to others) with the realization they bear it all only for you, even if one or both of you have a past, they now made a vow to only let your eyes see while the rest are just distant memories. Your ears are sensitive to all their moans, their groans, their screams, the way they sound when they slide out of your juices or the way your hips make the best popping noise as they kiss. You know their touch and they know yours, more over you know where to touch them, how to touch them.  You know how your fingers need to move through her wet slits and how to play with the head of his manhood because it’s just so sensitive.  And there is nothing more intoxicating than the smell that they leave behind once they have finished or that you leave behind together as they blend that specific aroma.  How they smell when they’re excited, and maybe they walk by you and you can just feel their heat invade your senses and you smile to yourself anticipating the action.

For those of you who were on LP, and for those now on M&S+, know that my Wifey’s name in my phone is ‘Cinnamon.’  That’s because she overbearingly smells like Cinnamon when she’s horny (which is pretty much 24/7).  We can just be watching cartoons with the kids and she’ll move her legs and I’ll be hit with that delicious smell, and then joke with her and tell her to calm down, it’s just some kiddie cartoons.

There is a reason why they say marriage makes you and your spouse one flesh and that’s because in those intimate moments you mold with them. You’re saying “I want you, I want to be a part of who you are.” And by embracing you back they are saying the same thing and that they wouldn’t have it any other way. In that moment you celebrate all God has made you to be, all he has made them to be, and all that the new creation is that He has made by bringing the two of you together. You say thank you to Him by enjoying the most intimate aspects of this new person.

What a different but glorious way to praise God.

NoahZark on MH wrote an article on Sacramental Sexuality and said:

…”whenever we worship with our whole body, mind, and spirit, we bless the heart of God and he blesses or graces us with spiritual power, comfort, and assurance.

So, I would encourage anyone and everyone to make it a regular and intentional practice to offer natural things like living seeds, orgasms, and even the process of stimulation or intercourse as sacramental acts of worship. Take what is natural and add God’s “super” to it and transform bodily functions into supernatural worship of our Creator! In fact, I am coining a new term for such worship by calling it ‘sacrosexual’!”

This type of connection with our spouses, this glorious, beautiful, and powerful form of praise is a great gift from God. And once we understand that we can also understand why cheating is so devastating and why sexual sin is so dangerous.

People cheat for all sorts of reasons, but it mainly boils down to selfishness.  But beyond that, in that moment that we advert our attention from our spouse, we really say that what God has given us is not enough; we’re saying that to the God of all creation.  We’re also saying that our spouse isn’t enough and that we ourselves and what we have to offer is not enough.  So we seek to gain more for ourselves elsewhere instead of focusing on the blessing God has already given to us.  This is why sex is a form of worship only in marriage, outside of marriage it’s just like every other sin–a rejection of God.

In Marriage, it requires us realizing that God is truly the supplier of every need including our sexual ones.  With our spouse, we celebrate that need fulfilled through our significant other but outside of marriage each partner we could have is just us once again doing what mankind has done since the beginning of time–trying to fill the void from living in a sinful world with more sin instead of God.

We are taking ourselves out of His will.  We end up worshipping Lust instead of worshipping Him.  Our desires take the center of our lives instead of eternity with Him.  We are taking ourselves away from his blessings and placing ourselves out of his hands.  You know how God asked, “Who told you were naked?” Well for sexual sin the question could be flipped to, “Who told you that you were horny?”

Because much like how it was not the nakedness that was the sin but them perceiving it as wrong was the sin (their disagreement against what God had already said was good), the same can be said for our feelings and desires.  It’s not the need or our horniness that’s the problem, it’s how we respond to our need.

Are we going to go to our provider or are you going to try and take care of it on your own?  Are you going to berate yourself for having feelings for the opposite sex, the drive that causes us to seek someone out, or are you going to embrace those feelings in a Godly way, seeing the men and women you adore as a potential spouse and patiently wait for His blessing?

By fulfilling our need in marriage we have accepted God as the provider and indulge in the marvelous creation he has molded for us and us only.  That’s a spiritual gift we don’t share with anyone else.

Look at it this way: Jesus came for 3 reasons: To give us everlasting life by forgiving our sins (John 3:16), to give us an example of how to properly follow God (1 John 2:6 AMP), and to give us an abundant life in the midst of all this chaos. (John 10:10b AMP).

Now, if Salvation is supposed to be God’s greatest gift to us, then I would venture to say an abundant life is the second best gift.  And I truly believe that one of the greatest aspects of that abundant life is Marriage.

Think back to the days of Adam.  He had the whole world.  Everything.  Everything he needed and everything he could want.  He had Eternal life–no need for salvation because he was already perfect and better yet he had an open relationship with God.  God walked amongst the Garden with him.  And God STILL said that it was “not good for man to be alone!” (Genesis 2:18 AMP).

HOLY CRAP! God basically said, “Okay, you got this, got that.  I created that for you yesterday–oh wait! Hold up! Adam, go to sleep. You still need one more thing!”

So imagine after all God has given you through your Him or your Her…you go and ruin the only other crucial thing you need in this world to survive…We have Jesus, but God said we still needed one more thing for this abundant life.  In fact, since the establishment of marriage was first, and as always Jesus is the fulfillment, when he said he was there to give us that abundant life, he was saying, “You have that establishment of a forever partner–someone willing to walk with your for the rest of your days; now let me save you from the rest of the mess your in.”

In fact, going back to the idea of our bodies being a temple for the Lord. We are an incomplete Temple until we have two things, the Lord residing within and our spouse. Think about it.  Eve came from Adam.  A piece of Adam was literally missing from him.  Joining together in Marriage made them one full body.  We also know that by accepting Christ, the Lord comes to live within all of us, and from that point on we become a beacon to all those who are lost.

Now I’m not saying the Lord can’t work out of a physically incomplete temple, just look at the times the Jews were exiled and the building of both Temples–God was still working even during construction.  But a Marriage, two souls who love God and Love each other is exactly how God intended it to be from the beginning.  Some of the best advice I got when I started preaching was to remember that my wife, my family, are a part of my ministry.  The Love offerings I get when Preaching should always be used to further my ministry–buying books or bibles I need, or materials, or even taking my wife out on a date.  Because how I treat my family and how they treat me is a reflection of the relationship I have with God.  If my family is loving and following me, it’s because I’m loving and following God and encouraging them to do the same thing.

And that “until death do us part” most of us say…well last time I checked that was added by the church but not found in the word of God.  Not to push any buttons there or take the discussion elsewhere, but I’ll also add this–if we know we’re going to live forever (technically invalidating until death do us part) why would you want to let go of that good thing, that forever partner, for a moment of selfishness?  A moment of false worship instead of true Godly Worship and praise to, and through, your spouse?

I truly believe not a single person on this world was meant to be alone.  And not truly enjoying the full benefits of who your spouse is both inside and out is a mark against God’s creation.  Literally he designed them for you and you only. He created a home for himself where he resides and trusted you to take care of it.  To treasure, to marvel the beauty of its designs, the strength it carries outside and within, the safe place it creates for those who embrace His presence within.  How can you not praise God while being in the midst of that temple?  How can you not stare at it, touch it, hug it, kiss it, make love to that Home of the Lord?

Praise God! I truly thank Jesus for salvation and that my abundant life is found complete because God gave me his son to die for me, and one of his daughters to love on forever.

If this makes sense to any of you, you better go take off them clothes and go and worship Him!

Hallelujah!–which is a commandment to praise God. So Hallelujah in the bed room! Hallelujah on the sofa! Hallelujah in the car! Hallelujah on the plane! Hallelujah wherever God lets those desires rise up within you to praise Him through your spouse.

We have a Storytellers section on Marriage Sex & Positive and here’s just a couple of the testimonies I heard on the comment section when I previewed it.  I pray that this article touches someone else’s’ heart and inspires their praise in all they do, including their sex life.  And for those of you that are waiting to get married, staying celibate and waiting on God is also a form of praise, as well as masturbation because you’re praising him for what he has given you to fulfill your sexual need.  Exploring your own body is never wrong because He gave you that body to cherish and protect–you only get the one.  Accepting what God has given us and thanking him for it is how we praise the Lord.  And I pray that this isn’t that ground breaking to some, but if it is I pray your mind has been open to receiving this Word.  Amen.

PG said: This reminds me of a time in my marriage when I tried to explain how I see sex to my wife.  We had already been married for a decade or so and what with getting barely any sleep taking care of kids, she didn’t feel like having sex.  It didn’t help that even though one of my biggest love languages with her is physical touch, she does not need it as much.  We were talking about sex and she asked if sex was the only thing important to me.  I lay there thinking and praying while she drifted off to sleep.  I didn’t want sex to be a barrier, I wanted it to be freeing and beautiful.  When I see my wife, I can’t help but want to thank God for her and I have felt that one of the best ways to do so is for us to enjoy each other’s bodies.  I was sexually frustrated and asked God what the best thing to do would be.

 I felt like I should get up and write a letter to my wife.  I got out my laptop and poured my heart out.  I typed up a letter that described how I see her and how much I feel closer to God by being with her.  I praised God for who she is and what she means to me.  I spoke intimately about things that only I would know.  I was truly worshiping God through typing the letter.  After I finished, my sexual needs were fulfilled, even though I hadn’t had an orgasm or even touched her.  I was completely satisfied in the Spirit.  It was like I had given her an orgasm in the spirit, even though she was asleep and I was in a different room.  It occurred to me then that my sexual desires were way more spiritual than I had realized.  I started looking at sex differently from then on.  The following morning, I gave her the letter and after reading it, she cried and hugged me.  

She started to better understand my need to express love through physical touch and how it serves as a way to worship God.  We still have different love languages and sex drives, but we are so much closer.  I am especially thankful that God showed me that sexual desires are spiritual and that physical/emotional symptoms like horniness, sexual frustration, etc. are actually tied to my spiritual desire to worship God and commune with my wife through the love language that He created me to use. God is so good!

JG said: I loved this!  I find it strange how many Christians say to praise God in all you do but then seem to disagree when you bring that concept into the most intimate gift God gave us.  I don’t know why but I thought of Colossians 3:23 as I read this; “And whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord and not to men,”  — Imagine what our sex lives would be like if we approached it as unto the Lord!!

Horny Hubby  as always gave some beautiful and sound advice on a different post of mine but I felt it fit this article so well. He said: I hear you.  I have the same frustration.  And it says, “let her breasts satisfy you always.  So it’s also saying that it’s okay to enjoy the sight of your wife nude.  Yet nudity has also gotten a bad rap.  I’ve heard of couples where the wife is hardly ever nude in front of her husband.  She wraps a towel around herself and closes the door after a shower and even gets dressed immediately after sex.  

But the more I learn about sex, the more I see why the devil wants to attack it so much.  And the fact that the devil is attacking it so much should tell us how powerful it is!  And make no mistake, the devil is attacking it.  He just uses bad theology to attack it.  And he uses “theologians” to speak against it.

“Now the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from the true faith; they will follow deceptive spirits and TEACHINGS THAT COME FROM DEMONS. They will say it is wrong to be married and wrong to eat certain foods.  But God created those foods to be eaten with thanks by faithful people who know the truth.” (1 Tim 4:1,3 NLT, emphasis mine.)

And included in the teaching that it is wrong to be married, I believe is also the teaching that it is wrong to have sex or enjoy sex within marriage. But notice 1) that teaching comes from demons ultimately and 2) God created it and 3) it is to be used with thanks by people.  As Timothy would say later in the same letter: God provides us with everything for our enjoyment. (1 Tim 6:17) God gives us things like food and sex for our enjoyment and for us to use.  So let’s use it with thanks and enjoy it!

You can see why the enemy wouldn’t like that.

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3 replies
  1. Annewin says:

    There is something mystical (spiritual?) about being physically joined. What I would like to know is whether or not you can be joined to more than one other person. I can never know this from experience because we married as virgins and, even if one of us passes away, there will only be us together in eternity.
    Do most Christians see marriage in this way?

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