Question About Replacement Anxiety

I have a question for all of the ladies out there who have taken the sex toy plunge. What would you tell the woman who is worried that trying a vibrator or dildo will make them desire their husband less? There seems to be a fair number of Marriage Heat women who have made insertable sex toys a fulfilling addition to their bedroom repertoire. What advice would you give those who have shied away from experimenting as a result of anxiety over of a toy becoming a replacement for intercourse?

4.00 avg. rating (79% score) - 6 votes
10 replies
  1. Harper Shelby Thornton
    Harper Shelby Thornton says:

    I guess it's different for every woman, hun. I've never been one into toys, but you might be different. Have you tried a toy before?

  2. Alicia G. M.
    Alicia G. M. says:

    I have two insertable vibrators that I use. They are fun and my orgasms are always nice. However, you do not get the love and warmth you get from your husband. A toy is not going to hold and kiss you after a hot session. Most importantly a toy is not going to whisper"I love you"
    If those things are important to you, then nothing can or should replace your man. To me that love connection makes a world of difference. A toy is just for that release when your love isn't available A warm cock will top silicone everytime in my book! Thanks for posting!

  3. Juicy
    Juicy says:

    I have a vibrator as well as a dildo and we sometimes use them together or I use them on my own. While they have been a great addition to our love making, in no way do my vibrators take the place of my real man. I will always take my man over a toy any day. While I do climax with my toys, my climax isn't nearly as strong or as satisfying with them. The great thing about toys is that they are just an add on; something to bring about a new way to do something, to add some fun and spice. I have found my toys useful when our lives get hectic and we aren't able to come together for some reason, then I have an opportunity to help release some of the sexual tension I may have. I have a slightly higher drive than my husband and at times, it is skyrocket higher and during those times, my toys have been a great help because when I am sexual drive high and unable to have sex, I get grouchy, short-tempered, and unable to keep focus. The climax that I get from a toy is only a temporary fix though. It is only through a good session of lovemaking that I am truly satisfied.

    You can always start with a smaller more inexpensive toy; a bullet or a finger tickler to get a sense of how you feel about it. There are lots of websites to shop from and your local sex shop likely has an option to mail as well. They are always very discrete with shipping if you are concerned about that. But trust me, a toy will never take the place of the real thing!

  4. Old Lover
    Old Lover says:

    Not a lady, here, but I can speak for my Anne. Toy use actually makes her desire me more. Although a toy brings her to orgasm, she'd rather have my fingers and my hard cock make her cum. We used to use toys in our intimate repertoire, but they are now vanquished; not because they don't do the job – they don't do the job as well as skin-to-skin.

  5. Adam Rose
    Adam Rose says:

    I think this comes down to a heart issue.
    Ask yourself, "Will this add to the growth in Oneness or take away from it?"
    If the husband is worried he will be (replaced) by the toy be sure to talk about it before any purchases.
    If the wife is worried her husband will no longer be able to satisfy her, proceed with loving caution.

    Ps, people forget that sex between a married couple is play for adults. Don't take yourselves to seriously all the time. If you two can roll around giggling like kids with a couple with toys, use it to bless your bonding in the bedroom! Have fun.

  6. tgrcpl
    tgrcpl says:

    Male Here! But my better half has one dildo that she rarely uses. She much more prefer the intimacy of my touch. For us its a "Break Glass In Case Of Emergency" type of toy. When she does use it, it only increases her deserve for my contact so we have no issues with it.

  7. cowboybiker
    cowboybiker says:

    I wonder how much of a woman's play time with her battery-operated boyfriend involves fantasy of some kind? I'm all for it either way because I'd rather her play with toys than another man when I'm not around. Plus, like others have said, it makes her extremely horny for me the next time I'm available. I say, "play away!" 🙂

  8. Me
    Me says:

    We have a couple of small finger size vibes that she likes on her clit from time to time. We also have one of those rabbit vibes and a dildo. The dildo is actually of his cock. It is a silicone replica of his cock. ( some years ago.) She enjoys all of the above but they are never substitutes. He likes nipple clips and cock rings. The cock ring is not medically needed but it bunches up his boys for awesome play. He and she share the nipple clips or he clips from nip to cock/scrotum. Some months go by without toys ever being considered. Add ons but not necessities! We have even tried a masturbation sleeve on him. Considering a new one (head honcho) for him and a glass dildo for her. She likes the alternating warm/cool sensations and the thought of the very slippery smooth surface of the glass. Goes right into the dishwasher after use also! He likes a sleeve but says there is nothing like her hot wetness engulfing his cock with balls pressed against her soft bum as she digs in her nails and bites his shoulder! We have tried some that soon found the trash heap, whereas others have remained as occasional go-to variety. So, the toys are lots of fun but they are add-on spice only.

  9. JDTM77
    JDTM77 says:

    Interesting committed…my wife expressed a similar thought until around 3 months ago. She had not masturbated one single time in her life until that point, 40 yrs old.

    Both of our opinions are the same on this. Masturbation has become a priority for us both, alone and apart. On top of that, sex toys use has become a prominent part of our intimate times. If either you or your spouse have these kinds of worries or concerns, you may not be mentally ready to take that leap, which is fine.

    But as a husband, I can tell you that having a wife that masturbates and uses toys of all kinds has only served to enhance our sex life well beyond anything I ever could have imagined.

    What used to be 5-12 minutes of ho-hum chasing of her orgasm, has now turned into hour-plus sexual escapades with both experiencing intensely erotic multiple orgasms.

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