What Men Want
I have been thinking about the fact that we often play the guessing game in our sex life with our spouses. So, I thought it would be great to make a list of the things we want from our husband or wife. For some people, these might be a generalization, but I believe it will hit the mark for others.
I will focus on “What Men Want.” Hopefully, one of the ladies will start writing about “What Women Want.” Please note that this is a focus on our SEXUAL needs.
So, I’ll get the list started. These are the things that, as a husband, I need and/or desire from my wife. How do these resonate with you? Do you have any to add? Once some of us have responded to this posting, perhaps we can print it or forward it to our precious wives. They might find it enlightening, and it could help to bring about some in-depth communication.
1. Love my cock.
Touch it. Fondle it. Play with it. My cock and I are really one! I experience your love in a very special way when you love my cock. There are many parts to it. Make love to them all. And when you do, be actively involved and do not just go through the motions.
2. Ask me for sex.
It can be a real challenge for me always to initiate our lovemaking. Please be wild and ask me to make love to you. Be direct. Say it. “Do you wanna fuck?” “Come eat my pussy.” “I need your cock inside me right now.” “Please come and finger me.” Remember that men are not usually good with subtle hints!
3. Take control.
I need you to be the boss sometimes. Just take me. Don’t ask. Grab me. Take my clothes off or open my pants and grab my cock. Show enthusiasm when you handle it. Force yourself on me. You can even tie me up, and I will not complain!
4. Be blatant.
I love to be seduced by my wife. As I walk in spread your legs, pull your panty to the side and ask me if I need a snack. Lie on our bed and be playing with one of your toys when I walk in. Get naked, walk up to me, and start undressing me. Call me on the phone to tell me to come home and take care of your needs. Just do it!
5. Share your fantasies with me.
I want to know your sexual dreams and fantasies. No matter how weird or wild they are. I want to make them come true. There is great excitement for most guys in knowing that their wives have some bizarre fantasy. We love it. Know that I, for one, will not judge you.
6. Talk to me about sex.
I want to share my sexual thoughts with you. Help me to start conversations with you about sex. Let us share our naughty thoughts together.
7. Respond to my advances.
Please respond when I touch you or say sexy things. Make it easy to love you and to make love to you. Your body language and the way you respond to my advances say so much. It is so easy for us men to lose heart if we make advances and, time after time, are ignored.
8. Send me dirty text messages.
It is so exciting to receive sexy messages from you. Tell me what you want me to do to you or what you want to do to me. Send me pictures of yourself that you know would excite me. When I receive any sexy message from you, my body responds immediately.
9. Play with me by having foreplay the entire day.
Let us do things all day to create an erotic atmosphere: touching, texting, or sending naughty pictures and messages. Let’s play in such a way that we are hot and dripping wet by the time we get together.
10. Masturbate with me and for me.
I believe this is possibly the biggest dream of most husbands. To watch your wife masturbating, and to sit and masturbate with her, is absolutely fantastic. A wife who is prepared to share these intimate moments with her husband is a lady in a class of her own. Dreams are made of this.
11. Accept your own body.
My dear wife, LISTEN to me! Your body is perfect for me. Do you have stretch marks? Have you gained weight? Are your boobs not perfect? Are you too skinny? Is your bum too big? All that does not matter. You are the only woman I desire and the only one that I will make love to. Do not rob me of your body. Flaunt it. Think sexy. Show off what you have. Seduce me with your body. You are what Abba Father planned for me. You are my PERFECT FIT!
Now guys, let us see what you can add to this.
ClimaXX
Spot on to all of these… especially #5! I need to know that you are a sexual being and you sharing that part of yourself, the most vulnerable, tells me that you trust me and that I am your friend.
A Better Pastime, I believe we all desire feeling that our spouse is really sharing HERSELF with me.
Come guys. Join the discussion.
Almost as if I wrote this. You nailed it.
Love this! It is so easy to succumb to the stresses and busyness of everyday life. I can’t speak for all women of course, but for me, I’m not good at taking hints. Women are taught young that men only want sex and it can take us some time to realize how untrue that is. Men want to be loved and desired too
You're pretty spot-on with this, ClimaXX! A lot of these points resonated with me, and I'd like to comment on a few of them.
I love the idea of changing up the usual roles, described by points 2 and 3. There is something very arousing about a woman who needs a release and is confident enough to take the initiative and come and get what she needs. I'm into some light-to-moderate dominant/submissive kinky stuff, and while I lean slightly dominant, I also really like the idea of my future wife taking control of me (and even tying me up like you mentioned).
As a single guy, one of my greatest desires in a future marriage is the kind of verbal and emotional intimacy you describe in points 5 and 6. As A Better Pastime mentioned, being able to engage at such a vulnerable level is such a privilege, and I'd imagine a great relationship builder! I would absolutely love to talk to my wife about anything related to sex: what makes her feel good, what makes her orgasm the hardest, and especially what kind of fantasies she has that I could help fulfill! I can't emphasize enough how true and important these points are!
Point 7 on responding to advances is also key. I understand my future wife might not always be in the mood, but any kind of positive response is huge, even if we end up putting off our sexy time until later. I'd imagine there is fairly little that is more exciting than a wife who is becoming aroused. Seeing that initial spark of desire start to grow into a flame is immensely satisfying, so ladies, even if you don't want sex right then, make sure your husband knows that you definitely DO want him at some point!
And finally Point 9. I have been compiling ideas for sex stories to write in anticipation of my future marriage, and there's a good reason that many (if not most) of them involve extended foreplay. From my perspective, foreplay is just as important to lovemaking as actual intercourse. When you find things that arouse your spouse, like the touching and texting ClimaXX mentioned, you can be engaging in the lovemaking process throughout the entire day!
Thanks for putting this list together, ClimaXX! While not exhaustive or representative of every man, it's quite a good general guideline!
You nailed it..as if you were writing my every day thoughts.
Item 10 is spot on with this edit suggestion:
10. Maturbate me, with me, and for me.
My dear Anne, offers to jack me off when she senses that I’m horny. She’ll do this with great delight. Her desire, enthusiasm, and encouragement for me to cum is an incredible turn-on.
That's hot Old Lover that your wife services your pleasures like that.
It's odd to say this, but the more time I've focused on my wife's sexual desires, the less time I spend thinking about any of the above. The more pleasurable sex is for her, the more she naturally does all of the above…without asking.
Awesome post ClimaXX! I'm a single man but these are actually what i think about a lot! All of these i agree with and will certainly think about all this when i am married. Some of the one's that stood out to me were 1, 3, 5,6,10 and 11. Would like to chat more with others on this post!
Stay sexy and god bless!,
Dean.
Ladies, a P.S. to item 10. Tell your husband when you jill-off with detail. It really turns a guy on.
Last evening, my Anne shared that she was so horny for me last Friday (I was away for the weekend) that she jilled herself. Although it took awhile (in her ageless beauty years her body ramps up differently and needs more stimulation) she purred her success in my ear, “It felt so good to cum for me and you.” What a turn on!
I totally agree with you. My wife and I are on a Caribbean cruise right now…..with my entire extended family. She skipped out on breakfast so she could fuck herself with a suction cup dildo on the balcony.
she's sending me texts about her encounter while I'm talking to my mother at breakfast.
Great advice. My wife and I have especially benefitted from #10 allowing each other to masturbate, alone and together. I masturbated a lot before we married and I thought marriage would end it. I was so surprised when on our honeymoon we were sitting naked in bed together, I had a huge erection and my new wife asked me to show her how a man masturbates. I made sure I put on a good show for her! Since then sometimes she’s not in the mood for sex when I am, and in bed she’s happy for me to masturbate beside her or over her. Similarly when we’ve had sex and she hasn’t had an orgasm she masturbates and I love watching, especially hearing her orgasm cry, and often finger her to orgasm. Enjoy masturbation as part of married sex.
I agree to these 100%
ClimaXX, Thank you so much for writing this article about "What Men Want." I was actually planning to write a similar piece to submit today, and then I saw yours, and you covered it very well.
In quick summary, I was going to express my thoughts on this topic with 5 V's:
1. Verbal. Wives, we need you to talk to us. Tell us what you want. Tell us if the touch we are using is right or needs to be modified. Tell us your fantasies. Use explicit language.
2. Visual. Wives, our hunger for visual is probably greater than you can understand (thus the huge prevalence of porn). As often as you can, find ways to tease us visually, and to reveal and flaunt your body to us.
3. Variety. The "go to" positions and sequences we use in lovemaking have the benefit of being familiar and comfortable. But we also crave creative and unexpected experiences. This site is a great source of ideas for new things to try.
4. Vitality. We understand (especially in seasons like the child rearing years) that there are times when the best you can do is make your body available and say "you can have me, but I'm too tired to do much about it." But we need to know that our sexual relationship is a priority to you. Find times when you can give some of your best energy to our lovemaking.
5. Volume. From this term, you may think I mean we want you to increase your sound level, with moans and screams when you are reaching orgasm. And that does bless us! But this was the best V word I could think of to express the fact that as men we are wired to desire a large quantity of sexual experiences. To be honest, our hunger is to have sexual experiences with you several times a day! But don't freak out…that doesn't mean we need to have intercourse several times a day! In fact, just a minute or a few minutes will satisfy the longing we feel at that moment: give us a quick suck, join us in the shower, text a love note or a photo, flash your breasts to us, or find other quick ways throughout the day to let us know you care about fulfilling us sexually.
That last bit is So Important!
I'm a single man who has met a TON single ladies who are beautiful but do not believe it!
God did not trip while making up your genetic profile. You're hot and the way you become even hotter? Believe in your own attractiveness! Aka confidence.
Something is holding you back from believing that. I promise as soon as you tear down that false image of yourself you will find the devil standing there with his hands up whining, "but i wanted to keep you safe from criticism of others with my own criticism!"
No, remember, he's a liar and the father of them.
Throw him out and let Jesus do the talking.
Remember how precious he declared you to be?
Hint, something about rubies..?
Not to mention sending his actions on the cross for you.
Yeah, that critical voice saying x negative things about your body? 100% full of hot air.
Great list! To feel desired by your wife is an incredible turn on. A great way to start conversations about fantasies and ideas is to print out a list of sexual interests and desires. It is online as a YES, NO, MAYBE list. You each fill it out and then talk about it. You may discover common interests that you were afraid to bring up previously.
There’s an app (faith based) that actually started us talking more freely—Ultimate Intimacy—as well as a secular one that provides some dares and quizzes that brought up more things we hadn’t thought of.
I agree. I think that is a big difference between guys and girls. Us guys are usually more direct in issues both sexual and non-sexual. On the other hand, girls are more subtle. At times, this can make it harder for guys to figure out if a girl is interested in them or just being friendly. I think sometimes women need to be more direct in order to get what they want. Us guys will try our best to meet your needs but we are not mind-readers. On the other hand, I think sometimes we guys need to be respectful of the fact that our wives can take longer to get into the mood for sex and sometimes we need to work up to it slowly throughout the day. The difference between approaches to both sex and non-sex issues is something that I have noticed among guys and girls regardless of their personal/ religious background. I personally do not like when either side takes advantage of the other gender just to satisfy their personal/sexual/ material/ emotional needs. I may disagree with their personal/ or moral views on various life issues or topics, but I would always treat the girl with the respect that they deserve. Just my two cents on this subject.
Number 2 and 3 are so hard for me. However, MH helped a lot. I love this list and will use it to pleasure both of us.