masturbation masturbate jacking-off

Masturbation Rewire?

A couple of weeks ago there was a question about how people masturbate. I have another to go along with that. I practice masturbation regularly, almost daily, and often with very wild fantasy. I'm in my mid-50s, married 33 years, and basically healthy.

Lately, I'm wondering if I have trained my body and brain to respond only to these masturbation fantasies. Or maybe it's the control I have or the feel of my hand on my cock that make it harder to maintain an erection with my wife. We are not shy or inhibited and sex is good between us.

I wonder if by jacking off I've created new neural paths in my brain? Could those negatively impact my normal abilities?

Has anyone ever had this happen before? What did you do to reprogram your brain?

Concerned

4.44 avg. rating (87% score) - 9 votes
14 replies
    • Hott4you says:

      It can happen yes. My suggestion would be to get more involved with your wife. Share with her what you desire and do not hold back anything. I think God has an easier time flowing through two people who have nothing to hide from each other. Her, too.

  1. hornyGG says:

    Ben,
    Love your name! Same as my husband.
    My question to you is do you always maintain a full erection whenever you jack off? Does it take longer to get hard? You might have a form of E.D (erectile dysfunction).
    Also, you might wanna try and not jack off for about a week, then try making love to your wife. Let your horny desire build up!
    You say sex is good. So if your wife is happy and not complaining, I wouldn't worry too much about it. You may be trying too hard and worrying that it might happen. Performance anxiety can cause loss of erection as well.
    Anyway, hope this helps some. God bless you and your wife and stay horny!

    • Ben says:

      At times have used mainly pornographic stories as feul.
      That was a progression after years of keeping masterbation thoughts just my wife and I. It created an ever deepening spiral into ever more perverse fantasy that would be very risky and destructive in real life. But I sense the pull and acceptance of it in my mind to become real. Now I have to take the road back to proper moral thoughts. If I don't the spiral will continue with it's various consequences.

    • Ben says:

      Sorry the 1st reply was for Happy husband.
      Thanks for your words. I agree taking a break is a good idea. Some rest would help also probably...

  2. Dale3 says:

    Hi, Ben;
    Have you started on any new meds ? I found a big change when I went on heart meds ! Maybe as we get older, the once a day thing has to change to every other...And maintaining erections started becoming more difficult the longer I’m on them ! Just talking from experience....

  3. Dale3 says:

    Totally agree with hornygg..Performance anxiety is a real problem..it was for me, anyway....a self-fulfilling prophecy of the worst kind ! My wife was so understanding, and helped me thru it, the poor thing !! I know she's in heaven, cuz I put her thru hell here on earth !! My BP meds , along with age were killing my erections, and having trouble maintaining them was a challenge !! God Bless my wife, she was so sweet about it !!

  4. 1blessedman says:

    Hey Ben,
    It sounds to me that you have set yourself a trap. You stated that you masturbate almost daily and your masturbation time involves wild fantasies. It seems that you have set specific parameters by which you can/will be sexually/sensually involved. Are these parameters lacking your dear wife? If so, in conditioning of yourself to a particular set of sensual circumstances that you highly desire, you may have taught yourself that you can only perform if the sensual/sexual setting is consistent with your masturbation trysts.

    Fooling oneself can be done on many human levels. We can teach ourselves by reinforcing various behaviors such as: to not overeat, to exercise more, to love deeper, to react kinder, to be slow to speak, etc. It strikes me that you might have done a negative conditioning process over time. I personally believe solo masturbation can be a tool in our collective marriage tool boxes to offer sexual tension release and enjoy the moment in our fantasies of our spouses.

    However, we must use it properly. If we use that tool as an adjunct item to our covenant marriage sexual life, I see that it can have positive results. When masturbation is used as the primary source of sexual release in a marriage or it is used with no realistic boundaries, it becomes an unbridled wild horse.

    Is masturbating essential for your covenant love affair to be whole, pleasing, satisfying, loving, caring, or otherwise consistent with a robust union? Brother Paul instructs us to only abstain from sex in our marriage for fasting and prayer. It seems obvious here that it is so that we can stay sexually satisfied, which should help us to not stray off of the narrow way to which Jesus calls us. I think consensual masturbation while apart, with our minds solely focused on our mates, can get us over the hump of our horniness until such time we are reunited, i.e. trips, busy work schedules, faith responsibilities, prolonged illness of a spouse, or other things which prevent our time and opportunities as lovers.

    That said, if we just masturbate without any boundaries, then we will likely supplant the eroticism and sensual environment that our Creator created for us to enjoy with our spouse. We will artificially satiate our monogamous, covenant hunger. Gee....I can remember when I was in my 20's-30's....if I had masturbated every time I got an erection, I would have had calluses on the palm of my hand and Mr. Happy. I took the approach to only masturbate to help me pass through whatever extended time I was away from my beloved. If I had indulged myself everyday, I would have likely been satiated to the point that I did not have much sexual energy for my wife.

    My body belongs to her. Therefore, my appetite belongs to her. If my activities rob her of her sexual opportunities as a couple, I must rethink my whole POV on the subject. My suggestion is for you to redirect your POV of masturbation and turn your passions toward your lovely wife. If there is a need to get over the hump of momentary separation, then maybe you can have a solid commitment, by mutual agreement, to keep it simple and only enough that temporarily satisfies your needs/desires until you are back together. ***I only direct folks to a different site when there is valuable information elsewhere that is not available here.*** There is a video that you can view on YouTube by Dr. Sam Robbins. It is titled, "WARNING: The Negative Effects of Masturbation". Allow me to say loud and clear that this gentleman, who displays a Ph.D. in molecular and medicinal pharmacology, does provide opportunities for folks to purchase supplemental health products. I have reviewed his information and, as a former healthcare provider, I believe his information is consistent with today's medical knowledge. He is not "pushy" like those infomercials we all love to hate, but he is obviously using his education and the venue of YouTube to create income.

    I will say that I am not a huge supporter of the various lotions and potions out there. Most studies I have seen indicate that most humans will live and love well if they eat a well balanced diet of raw fruits and veggies, while limiting their fatty meat foods, which can stifle blood flow to our centers of enjoyment. Sometimes we are lacking in one or more minerals/vitamins and need those to keep our bodies at optimum health. I take B12, B6, D3 and Hericium Erinaceus as OTC supplements for such purposes, so I am not denigrating the good doctor for his sale of nutritional supplements. I just want all to know he is selling something, but I think that aspect is innocuous to his offering of insightful and helpful knowledge.

    And, Ben....seeking the wisdom of our Creator through prayer is, without doubt, the best place to start in your current journey.

    • Ben says:

      A trap it is . I will come back to your post a few times to consider your words. You have some great points to consider.

  5. 1blessedman says:

    Hey Ben, wisdom comes from experience. I was never addicted to porn but I indulged myself in porn some years ago on occasion. What I found was that I can fool myself into all manner of incredulous things. I can rationalize whatever to satisfy the flesh. And, with the internet, I can become as devious and polluted as my downward spiral can go. Right on to Sheol. In those off-the-narrow-way detours, I found a lack of true joy. Sure, the flesh got momentary fulfillment now and then; however, God’s real joy, that is abundant in the marriage union was no where to be found. So, I understand how easy it is to set a trap and then jump right in with both feet! Nothing judgemental from me to you or anyone else. Sometimes in life it takes one to know one. Unfortunately, I have been one. I had to refocus my entire thought process. My first task was getting the vertical relationship back on course. I had to reconcile with my Lord and get back on the narrow way. The specifics of your journey are different, but our supplanting of what is good and proper with indulgences seem to be a similarity. So, take heart my friend and brother. As you redirect your sensual/sexual POV, you will be blessed beyond compare and likely to tears. His ways are vastly higher than my ways!

  6. SecondMarge says:

    Can’t imagine fantasies you never intend to act on being a bad thing. If they help you maintain an erection that is better than taking drugs. My husband has occasional issues and a few words by me can help him stay hard.

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