How do YOU do….IT!? (L)

How do you do….IT!?

A question for ALL of YOU:

It is very clear that a lot of us participating on this site are Jackers and Jillers.  Yes, most of us masturbate. Many of us do so with our spouse present or joining us, while others have a lot of private time.

Here is my question.  “HOW do you do it?  And what makes it better?”

Your answers could teach some old dogs new tricks to try on themselves or their spouses. Singles may find some new techniques to experiment with as well. So – share the wealth of your experience!

When you answer put Guy or Girl in front of your answer, please.

4.44 avg. rating (88% score) - 25 votes
86 replies
  1. Happy Husband says:

    Guy – Most of the time these days I will either masturbate in the shower or in bed. I pretty much stroke my cock every morning in the shower because I shave my cock and balls and some of my pubic area every day. It is easier to shave with an erection. My wife normally showers with me (yes, it is a nice little ritual) and she enjoys watching me lather and stroke my cock into hardness. Sometimes when she leaves I will just keep the action going and jerk off until I cum. Most of the time, however, if I masturbate it is when my wife is out of town or, frequently, on Sunday mornings when she has left early for her church job I will lay in bed and pull up pictures of her (nude) on my phone or videos of her sucking my cock, and I will watch them and simply stroke myself until I reach a sweet release. I used to use Astroglide lube to reduce friction, but most of the time I just dry pump until I cum. Finally, although I am not sure that it is really masturbation in a classic sense, recently she has enjoyed me cumming on her during sex, and much of the time it is easier for me to crank my own cock at the end. If that is the case, I will be using lube, but typically she has sucked my cock for quite a while and I am just finishing what she loves to start.

  2. Old Lover says:

    Guy – two ways.

    Solo – relax, think about it, and stroke myself while watching in the bathroom mirror. The visual of my increasingly horny self and ultimate ecstatic orgasm maximizes my pleasure.

    Hand job by Anne – she never is too busy to pleasure me! If I mention it to her, she’ll tease me for a while and it ramps me up. If she asks me to jack for her, I’ll drop everything. Her invitation is an immediate turn-on. We always do it in front of the mirror and she loves to watch my face as she urges me on to full orgasm.

  3. ArtRutherford says:

    Good question. Guy – if my wife is not present, I imagine her sucking or fucking my dick to cum. It would be better if my spouse were there. Then I'd have the real thing.

  4. Thickish says:

    When we first got married my babe would occasionally grab Moby and fiercely rub him. There was never any lubrication other than my pre-cum. It was kind of rough and too much friction. After a couple of minutes I was on the verge of squirting so I asked her to stop. As we've gotten more comfortable with each other's bodies it's been different. Now she's more gentle — like loving Moby with her hands, or mouth, or wherever. I absolutely LOVE her hands on me, stroking me. I have to add, since one of my recent posts a comment mentioned COCONUT OIL. We'd tried K&Y, massage oil and silicone lube. All were better than without lube. However, since trying coconut oil I can say I'll not use anything else. It doesn't dry out, it's SUPER slick and a few drops goes a long way. It's exquisitely delicious how nice it feels when it's slathered on my wife's hands and she's jacking me.

  5. hornyGG says:

    Girl- Generally depends on my mood. My favorite way to masturbate is the old fashioned way
    My fingers!
    I just like the personal feel of human touch. I enjoy teasing myself and making my pleasure last. Don't have time to go into detail, but I am I think, masturbation's biggest advocate. God bless and stay horny!


    • Bighuged says:

      Cool! I find it interesting to learn how women enjoy masturbation almost or as much as men! How long do you usually take? And what kind of movements do you do with your fingers?

  6. Faith says:


    I prefer my bed and mostly do it before sleep night time…or sometime in early morning when I waked up in bed..

    normally I follow usual way..just stroke my penis with the help of my hand…

    sometime imagining I am going to enter inside my wife and I have full control of situation…

    and regarding coconut oil: yes, it's feel so good..

    I try it sometimes but I enjoy it most when I have full privacy..looks like I am going to try it again…

    normally when I am excited I tend to enjoy myself more and do it multiple times…

    generally I feel extra horny in weekend and do it multiple times….

    but I want try some new techniques to give my self pleasure..

    • Faith says:

      And I remember when I am alone and nobody in my room I try to lick and suck my own cock…
      I only managed to suck and lick my head and sometimes with some extra efforts I took it in my mouth and licked more of it..!
      I only did it 2-3 times…!

  7. Faith says:

    In December of 2018 I tried not to masturbute and control my feelings. I avoided any kind of details and material that would excite me or cause me to masturbute. But I only made it one week. Later, on the weekend, it was a natural process for me.. I had a strong urge to masturbate and I didn't want to resist any longer…at that time my balls became so sensitive…
    only touching them felt so good…and they were the most sensitive part…I spent more time on them.. and I enjoy myself…
    In my current situation for education, I live in another town where I rent a room with my friend…
    so that's why its difficult to find privacy time and I can't fully enjoy myself. So I again decided not to masturbute and avoid any kind of details which make me excited and horny…still working on it..! lack of privacy !

    • 1blessedman says:

      Awesome how you are working out the details of life and keeping it real in God's kingdom! Might I suggest that your abstinence can be a from of worship? Fasting can be in the sexual realm as well. Sounds like you are giving up something (fasting) for the purpose of seeking our Lord's path as you journey through life according to His direction and will.

    • Faith says:


      Masturbation pleasures us, no doubt. But while masturbating I just imagined about this one girl, and all my thoughts were moving towards this girl..
      I felt guilty for that…this girl does not belong to me yet and thinking about her in my imagination I believe is wrong…
      I thought about her body and fucking her…( of course, if she becomes my girlfriend it would never concern me and I would actually enjoy this)

      even thinking about some other girl while masturbating, I don't like…because of knowing that this girl is not mine. I admit that this makes my thoughts impure and that they are driven by my desire, about which I have a negative bias.

      I want to enjoy this gift (sex) as per God's wish and want to follow his path. I know that his plan best suits me and maybe my future wife is going through the same phase!

      Personally, I always want all my sexual desires, thoughts, love and lust, whatever, to be only for one girl who is going to be my wife. The one with whom I can enjoy sex and called her mine…!
      I want to invest myself for this girl (my future wife) only!

      [From MH: Faith has an Advice Needed post coming up in a few days and that would be a great place to dig into this subject with him. It also give some background info that might help you understand his situation better. Faith, please check that story and Contact Us if we misunderstood your situation.]

  8. ClimaXX says:

    FAITH, you said "but I want try some new techniques to give my self pleasure.." That was part of my idea when I did this post – to try and find new and exciting ways for all of us to enjoy our solo or mutual play-times. I think it is often about the pleasure of playing and feeling different sensations and NOT just about cumming.

    • Faith says:

      So true..
      "I think it is often about the pleasure of playing and feeling different sensations and NOT just about cumming."

      Sometimes masturbation looks like a mechanical process for me…. I just cum without any pleasure and sometimes guilt.

      I only know of 3-5 times when I really pleasured myself and enjoyed all the sensations…it's so beautiful and from that movement I try to feel that sensation again…it's more important than just cumming.

    • Satin King says:

      Thanks for posting the link. Great article! And… Yes!!! to conditioner in the shower! It’s awesome baby!

  9. PacMan says:

    Nothing too inventive here… I jerk off 3-4 times a week in bed using my hand and CO. It’s almost always in the first 30 minutes after waking up. MH is often involved. My wife and I masturbate together regularly too. When we gave our oldest kids “the talk” we gave them our blessing to masturbate privately with no shame or guilt.

    This doesn’t happen often, but maybe 2-3 times per year, I’ll insert my wife’s Lelo vibrator into my ass while I’m stroking my cock. That’s the only adventurous thing I do, but it’s quite nice. Just make sure to wash the toy after. 🙂 — 💚 the Post Pic, BTW!!

  10. Southernheat says:

    Girl -In quest to overcome menopause issues I had to get past the idea that masturbation was wrong. I read that masturbation helps the vaginal atrophy and dryness by increasing blood flow in the region. Also the more you masturbate it increases your desire for sex.
    I read a little book (not Christian, it does mention pornography.) The book is a technique book called Tickle Your Fancy: A Woman’s Guide to Sexual Self-Pleasure written by Dr. Sadie Allison. Some of it’s pretty basic, but you might learn something new.

    • Bighuged says:

      Nice! So, in trying out masturbation have you found that you really enjoy it? What have been your reaction to it after learning and experimenting?

  11. Current Resident says:

    Guy – I like Albolene for lubricant. It lasts forever for long edging sessions. I'm single, so I like to masturbate with my hand while sitting and reading erotic stories or viewing sexy media that is erotic but not pornographic (much like the photos here on MH.)
    This may be controversial, but I find that 3D animated films (like hentai but less cartoonish) do not trouble my conscience as do adult films or nude photos featuring real women. It seems that with animation I am enjoying the representation of sex without connecting sexually with one of the King's daughters. This idea is a slight tangent to the question of this post, but I thought others may find it related food for thought.

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      I had to look that up. You don't worry about the petroleum ingredients down there? Maybe it's less of a worry for guys, being all external.

    • Bighuged says:

      Petroleum doesn’t bother me.. sometimes I do use vasoline as a lube for my cock. It also helps when the skin is a little dried out lol. But it works well to jerk off with too.

      Would it be unsafe for vaginal use, CHL?

  12. Satin King says:

    We always do it together. I’ve gotten my wife several vibrators and she’s tried them a few times but she prefers my fingers. We add Burt’s bees peppermint lip balm for her and she likes it very much. She comes as I tell her a “story”. Then it’s my turn, and I always use something silky to jack off on -usually a camisole, half slip or panties

  13. Tulsa says:

    I used to travel a lot, so my wife and I both took things in hand when we were apart.
    We also did and do the mutual thing, always a fun switch, and a fun thing to add to the list of things to do together.
    Years ago, we had a conversation about masturbation, and told each other how we learned, and how we did it the first time. Pretty hot conversation, especially so, since both of our first times weren't the 'conventional' methods. Got really good, when we showed each other what we did! She went first, and it was so good for me, I almost spontaneously unloaded. It didn't take me long to get there when I did….which was much like the first time anyway!

    Lots of fun things to do when you do it together! It's a long list!

    • Tulsa says:

      One of our favorites, is to put some TV pillows on the floor, and then lay parts to parts (crotch to crotch). We can watch each other get after our own goodies. When she starts getting close to O, I always seem to lose it, but being so close to her, I can cum all over her clit and pussy….and hands. The natural warm ‘lube’, gets her over the top every time! She will often use a toy instead of her fingers, which is fun too!

    • Lovinghusband says:

      Tulsa, Please describe more specifically how you two are positioned when you are "crotch to crotch". I'm interested if it is similar to something we do. Perhaps it is different in a way that we might want to do too. I feel like you two enjoy watching each other masturbate in the same way we do. One other question: When you two are doing it – where do each of you direct your eyes generally? Looking at what the other's hands are doing? Looking at each other's eyes? Combination? We are definitely a combination. I wish I had a kind of peripheral vision that I could watch her eyes at the moment she was cumming – and her pussy pulsating – and her asshole pulsating, etc. It is like wanting to do everything at Disneyland all at the same time. Last thing Tulsa for now…I loved it when you said, "Got really good, when we showed each other what we did!." That is truly the moment of super vulnerability being rewarded to the highest. Each other being enthralled by the others utter lust. We are humans made in God's image – but we describe those moments as so intense – we are almost "animalistic." Both exploding as we are excited over each other's ability to touch ourselves – and to do it unashamedly in front of the other. Ben G. is so right in talking about loving to do it together. God is so good to us. He didn't have to give us the euphoria of orgasms. He made us this way. It is just a small foretaste of greater joys in glory. LH

    • Tulsa says:

      So LH, we get positioned with our legs spread, and usually it's mine over hers. Close as we can get….and still have a good view.
      We both are pretty much looking at the action, mostly each others parts, and hands, and sometimes our own. Some glances to the eyes now & then…..but not so much. I like to watch her girl cum ooze out, especially when she is cumming, and she likes to watch me squirt all over! We are both quite visual!
      That afternoon we had our show & tell….or maybe tell & show, went long into the evening & night. It sure got me going, when I found out what she could do with running water!

      Masturbation is just something on our list. No embarrassment or anything that is different than all the other things we do.

  14. Ben G. says:

    Ok, I admit it. I love to jerk off! Shocker, right? Seriously though, I have masturbated since I was a teenager ( like most guys) and have used the familiar hand stroking technique. I also love to tickle and fondle my balls as I find it to be very pleasurable when I masturbate.
    I often will edge and make the pleasure last as long as possible. Occasionally however I sometimes just want to get my nut and move on. Especially if I am running later than normal for work.
    I always knew my wife Gina was my love and soul mate. But the first time she caught me jerking off early in our marriage, and I saw her get excited enough to make herself cum. Well, that added to the icing on the marital cake.
    Gina and I love masturbating together. It is a very erotic and beautiful experience to share with your spouse.
    Thanks for posting and God bless!

    • Tulsa says:

      Something to mention on that….
      Mutual masturbation is a lot of fun, but catching your spouse, expecially when you are unseen and can keep on watching, is REALLY hot!!
      We have both caught each other, and besides the initial show, we almost always had even more fun after being discovered!!

  15. Ben G. says:

    Believe me, before I married my dear Gina. I jerked off a lot. As I stated previously, masturbation has been and still is a solid staple in my sexual practice. God bless!

  16. ConstantLover says:

    We recommend omgyes. It’s great to learn new techniques or practice solo for later! We looked into it once she heard Emma Watson uses it!

    [From MH: While very informative, this resource is not going to be a good fit for everyone. It is the result of (continuing) study done by researchers from Indiana University and the Kinsey Institute, is an exploration of the techniques and variables that play into female sexual pleasure. One wouldn't expect a Christian view of sexual relations from them, of course. The findings are portrayed to the viewer through personal interviews, demonstration, and interactive portion available for touchscreens. As you can probably gather, it is explicit. The women demonstrate the techniques that work for them and explain what they are doing and how it feels in a matter-of-fact way. It isn't porn-like at all, yet you are watching them masturbate for a few minutes. The interactive portion involves trying out the touching techniques just described on a picture of the woman's vulva and hearing her voice instruct and encourage you. Also, none of the interviewee's gave any implication of monogamy, most spoke of multiple partners, and some were openly gay or bisexual.

    While the content is informative and potentially helpful and while for some of you none of this would be a stumbling block, for others it could be. So we want you to be aware when deciding whether to check it out.]

  17. ILoveSex says:

    I would love to know what other women do when they masturbate? Do you just rub your clit or do you finger yourself? (how many fingers do you like to use?). Do you use a dildo to fuck yourself? A vibrator? If you use a dildo, do you like one that's stuck to something so that you can ride it? Do you play with your tits too? If so, what kind of stimulation do you like? Do you massage them, squeeze them, pinch your nipples, pull your nipples etc? Oh, and how often do you play with yourself? Every day? A few times a day? And does it turn you on to get caught and watched by your hubby?

    • hornyGG says:

      I love sex,
      Pretty much yes to all your questions. I love playing with my pussy and do it fairly regularly. I generally enjoy fingering myself and clitorial stimulation. I tend to cum easier when stimulating my clit. I am very orgasmic and can cum just by fingering or cock penetration. It just takes a little longer depending on how horny I am.
      When I masturbate I like to include my whole body. This includes teasing, pinching and holding my breast. I also enjoy tickling my asshole once in a while.
      Masturbation is basically a way of making love to yourself. A "self fuck " if you will and I treat it as such.
      I like to light candles and pamper myself with a warm bath ( bubbles optional) before the main event. A little perfume is always nice.
      I also love to talk sexy (dirty) when I jill off. It adds that extra bit of eroticism.
      As far as getting caught by my husband Ben. Well that has happened many times and is always exciting. He will sometimes jerk off while watching me or we will end up fucking. I love it!
      Sex is beautiful, fun and pleasurable. It doesn't matter if you're masturbating or fucking. It is a joy given to us by our heavenly father.
      God Bless and Stay Horny my friend!


  18. Tangosierra says:

    Guy – I typically use my left hand. But I did just buy a Vibrator that I am ready to try as soon as I get it.
    My wife Heather, always uses her Vibrator. We just bought the Mona Wave too. Good things with that one. Great for anal for her. Just sayin…

  19. 1blessedman says:

    Guy here-If solo—>typical hand job, either hand as I am somewhat ambidextrous with a right hand dominance. I do have a masturbation sleeve that is very awesome. Not like the real thing, just different with its own possibilities. I very much like nipple play before and during masturbation. Watching the wife Jill while stroking is very hot! Occasionally, when Mrs. is desiring cleanup somewhere else other than isle VJ, she will lean against the wall at the head of our bed and I will lean against her. She will then reach around and play with my nipples and stroke my cock. This way I get to enjoy a hot cumshot by the loving hands of my lover! Times when she desires to enjoy a hot cumshot, she usually wants it in various locations, i.e. tits, coochy, or booty. If on her booty/booty hole, I am happily and enthusiastically obliged to stroke my cock while she often massages/squeezes my cock head with her cheeks. If I/we intend for me to cum anywhere that facilitates her reaching my cock, she always wants to be the one that does the wonderful deed of bringing me to a most thunderous ejaculation. In other words, she wants to be the one to make me jizz a big load on her…

  20. 1956packard says:

    Male – I usually do it when my wife is not home. I have a few pictures of my wife I look at while I’m doing it.

    She does like watching me get off & she’ll will help me get there. She has found out that playing with my nipples while I masturbate really gets me going!

    Usually after I get off, I’ll help get her off as well! She loves it when I lick her nipples while she fingers herself.

    On our 3rd date, she said to me “I do something that you might frown upon". I asked “What?" and she told me she liked getting herself off! I said “that’s fine with me as I like getting myself off too!". We were very open & honest with each other dating & still are into our 10th year of marriage.

    • ClimaXX says:

      1956packard…. that comment from her on the 3rd date would have blown my mind. I would have had the next date with her as the "I Do" ceremony. What man can wait after such a comment?

  21. JAM777 says:

    Guy (single) – I usually do it in bed. I pull down my pants and briefs. I make sure to have a sock ready (I cum into a sock to prevent a mess or any long lasting smells).
    I use stories from MH to create a story of my own in my head. I will use stories to get the blood pumping and then I go to my own world. I usually start with my left hand and edge myself repeatedly till I can't control it anymore and (attempt to) get the sock on and finish up with a fast rapid stroking. Depending on the depth of my imagining of having a wife to bond with, I will sometimes cum hard enough to keep quiet. I really like those because those tend to be the ones where I can't stop my pelvis from moving and my penis keeps on pumping.
    If I can remain in control I can keep on stroking throughout.

    Also, my edging time frame depends on my schedule, desire, how long since my last, and how hard I get. The longest session I had was about 4 or so hours… (whoops, lost track of time haha.)

    • ClimaXX says:

      Jam777 – allow me to comment on quickies….
      One of the problems we have in our marriages is just that! Quickies!! We start off in our youth trying to ejaculate as quick as possible to make sure that we don't get caught. This trains our bodies to cum fast.
      Keep on EDGING, brother. Train your body to WAIT. You will become a great lover to that wife that is on the way to you.

    • PatientPassion says:

      I'm happy to hear this advice, ClimaXX! I've heard of and applied variations of that tip about edging, and I know it's needed because it's an issue for me as well. I've become quite good at holding myself back for a long period of time, but not with constant stimulation.

      One thing that has helped me some is becoming aware of the tension in my pelvic floor. You may be aware of "Kegel" exercises, which are mostly used by women but I've read they can be used by men too. The "Reverse Kegel" helps relax rather than strengthen those muscles, which apparently helps in lasting longer. I'm working on being more disciplined with that, but it's slow going since I'm not very focused on it. I'm curious if you have any other advice on the topic too! I always love hearing from someone with experience, especially when their experience sounds awesome!

  22. natural_gardener says:

    Male (single)

    My masturbation is very much based on mood. There's a minimum amount I do it but when at my best personally and professionally, it greatly increases my drive and frequency.

    As I've grown and become more accepting of my own sexuality and desires (with much help from the stories and thoughts on this site) I've broadened my understanding of masturbation and that there's a lot to learn and enjoy about my body besides going for the "quickie" – which of course has its place!

    I'm usually nude as I start to touch myself. It's less messy and leaves me feeling more relaxed and open to pleasure and natural feeling. I'll often start with an idea from MH I'd like to try, or creative fantasizing. Though other times I don't have to at all and just to do relieve stress and feel physically relaxed. I particularly like stories or experiences involving female masturbation, as I hope my future wife will feel confidence & joy in her body, and though she may not be as enthusiastic about masturbation as I, it's my hope I can at the least encourage and empower her to enjoy it for herself and with me like many of the awesome wives on this site do with their bodies and their husbands.

    I've grown from feeling shame about masturbation to seeing it as something I want to be every bit as much a part of my future marriage as intercourse, and I genuinely consider it a healthy hobby that I hope my lady will join me in frequently.

    Also want to put in a good word for "edging" – it is amazing when I am patient and not rushing to orgasm how good it can feel to leisurely enjoy my body, sometimes even while doing non sexual things. It may seem "odd" to some who aren't practictioners of it but I'm hopeful my partner someday will understand just how much fun it is to relax and touch oneself in a leisurely manner.

  23. RMD says:

    Because of our work schedule we can only make love on the weekends, and on the occasional Wednesday morning if I don't have early clients. That leaves me longing and aching for her during the week. I dream of her and make love with her in my heart in my office many times while laying on my couch and thinking of how it would have been had we married when we were young, (my wife was a widow and I was divorced when we met in our 50's). I have many dreams, all of them of her and no one else. Some are from things we have done or things I hope we can do, and some are of what would have been had we been each other's firsts. There is no one else in my heart; she fills it all. If I did not have a client coming in a few minutes she and I would be cumming in my heart right now!

    • ClimaXX says:

      RMD – I think I understand some of what you are sharing. We are also both in our 2nd marriage. I would have LOVED LOVED LOVED to have had my wife when we were younger (as well)
      BUT…. she is the sweetest and most edible gift from Abba Father.

  24. Landscaper says:

    A Man

    What’s the most sensitive part of your body when you are masturbating?

    Your ears, listening for footsteps. LOL. Was the case when I was a kid.

    My wife and I like to watch each other every once in a while. I bought her a new vibrator. Small pocket one that has about a dozen different pulses. It’s pink with a pink light that strobes with the pulse. I enjoy seeing the expressions on her face and watch her tense up and point her feet and toes straight out while laying on the couch. After she cums she is so relaxed. She will dress up for me in a sexy dress and shoes. She will walk around our living room over to the fireplace giving me lots of leg and ass to look at. I’ll be nude, sitting on a beach towel in my recliner with a super hard-on stroking my cock. After a while she makes her way over to the couch. She will give me various poses, exposing all. I will walk over to the couch still stroking my cock enjoying looking at her ass and pussy. She will begin to tell me to cum all over her. She will remove her dress, rub my balls and tell me to give her my cream. I’ll shoot all over her as she rubs my cum on her beautiful tits and legs.

  25. Max says:

    Male – I know I'm late to the game in responding to this, but I'm new and looking back through the archives, and thought I may be able to add something to what's been put here.

    How I used to do it through most of my life was primarily with my hand, dry. I've used my own saliva to lube it up before, but you have to keep adding it to make it work as it dries out pretty fast. The coconut oil idea is a good one, I'll try that. Learn something new every day!

    I loved edging too. I'll try and write a story on my edging experience sometime. I had one in particular that was really good.

    I've done it in multiple places, in various positions of my hand, etc. Like, for instance, the position of my fingers vary quite a bit as I go through it. I've rarely done the fist position because my penis hasn't been long enough until several years ago. My standard method of holding it was with my index and middle fingers on the front and my thumb on the back, just under the hood of my head. Then I do a combo of a circular motion with my fingers on the front, where it is most sensitive, and on occasion moving my hand up and down my shaft. That gives me the maximum control for things like edging. I can apply more pressure as needed, as well as intensity. I can stop the up and down motion when I get close, as well as putting less pressure on the front and can go slower.

    I've also done the reverse fist–where the thumb and index finger are facing toward your body instead of up as with the normal fist–which I've used on occasion to further stimulate it, as my row of fingers can ride along the front side of my penis and my index finger and thumb can make as tight of a circle as I might desire, milking my penis.. That one is best when using some lube.

    Since my penis became longer, I can do the fist pump, but I rarely go there unless I'm using some type of lube. Though, my left hand seems to like doing that dry more than my right. Go figure, I'm right-handed, but that has been a recent thing, ever since I got my Deep Brain Stimulation thing in place about a year and a half ago.

    Another method that has worked for me is to position my hand over my head, and use my index and middle finger on the front as before, and my thumb on the back, so that it is like my penis is able to go in and out, and I can use the two fingers using the "come here" motion for further stimulation. The advantage of this is the tip of my penis can hit the inside of my hand. Being the head is the most sensitive part, some people may not like that as it becomes too much to the point of irritation. I was that way as a teen, and couldn't do as much direct head stimulation as I can now. Now, that position can help me get hard when it isn't quite getting there normally.

    Another position I've used to get hard is to lay my penis along one of the cracks where my hip meets my leg, let it rest there, so it is pointing to the side. Then I take my hand in a natural way over it, and use my index and middle fingers to rub it sort of backwards in circular as well as back and forth manner. That allows the head to brush up against my skin which helps it get harder. A variation of that is to sit up straight and push your penis against your inner thighs and stimulate it.

    I used to have a favorite sleeve to masturbate with, but that got tossed with a recent move we did. I'll probably buy another one at some point. For quite a while, that would work when nothing else seemed to.

    Unlike many of the guys here, I have rarely ever been successful at fantasizing in my head. For some reason, it ends up distracting me and I get soft. I have to see it without my mind working to see it, either on a video or in real life. But I know that while a lot of men can come to a fantasy, I mostly come when I'm looking at myself and thinking only of what I'm feeling, and enjoying it. 🙂

  26. New Wife says:

    So for me, my We-Vibe Touch gets me there every time. It could be in bed alone or in my home office chair. I usually warm up by thinking about a recent time my husband and I had sex and then start playing with myself, breasts, nipples — rolls and tugs are the best — and then my pussy. With some nice music and my eyes closed, I reach for the vibrator once I feel that I'm wet and gradually work it towards my clit. I do like to feel filled when I cum so sometimes I will grab a dildo and add it to the mix. I'm not a fan of the combination internal/external toys like rabbit vibrators. I'd much rather be able to control the motion inside separate from the motion outside. Of course, hitting my G-spot or A-spot with a vibe on my clit is the best.

    I do this in a chair by our bed for my husband too. He loves the show and he's learned so much about what pleases me by studying what I do and how I react to different things. I've learned from watching him too!

  27. Hott4you says:

    I use two hands (when I'm not on MarriageHeat, that is.) I grab my balls and roll them together. My other hand works the shaft. I slow it down because I want it to last. Right boys n' girls? Hehe

  28. Johny123 says:

    Guy. I’ve been masturbating for decades now. Before I married tried just stopping but it didn’t work. I was getting constant erections and “wet dreams” spurting semen in my sleep. For ages, I masturbated (wrongly) over porn. My wife and I didn’t have sex before we married, but after we were engaged she was the subject of my masturbation fantasies, imagining her nude in all the sex positions I’d read of and seen. After married we have regular sex but I still masturbate. Thankfully my wife agrees to it and joins me. In bed if I need it and she’s not in the mood, I lay back and ask her to stroke my inner thighs and my scrotum. She folds her bare leg over mine. With my spare hand, I explore her naked body. Then I stroke and tug my penis till I spurt. Other times she lays back with her legs spread, I kneel astride her thigh and masturbate with my spare hand exploring her naked body, especially between her legs. But other times the urge builds up during the day and I masturbate standing in the bathroom or restroom at work. The urge to masturbate seems to never fade and I’ve just had to live with it,

  29. SecondMarge says:

    MH wants the discussion moved here so I am mainly using this to create a bump.

    I would like to say in response that I tend to stimulate/play with different areas of my body at first, usually using both hands. Sometimes one hand has a cock shaped dildo or vibrator.

    When I start to get close I most often only use the fingers of one hand to stimulate my clit.

    • Bighuged says:

      Thanks for joining in SM, even if it’s on this new thread ;).

      When you use the dildo, do you tease yourself with it? Like running the tip over your pussy lips and clit lightly.. or do you go straight to plunging it deep in your pussy? How big is the dildo that you typically like to use?

    • SecondMarge says:

      Thanks Bighuged for the questions. My biggest imitation cock Has over 8 inches of usable length with large girth. I do sometimes rub it along my slit early in the time I am enjoying myself. Often I simulate intercourse by pumping myself while imaging the man that is inside me. Most of this I only do in the building process. Once I get down to try for an orgasm, I am most likely to just have it inserted giving me the feel of having a cock in my as my fingers and my mind concentrate on my clit. Maybe an occasional nipple pinch and tug, but to cum, my mind is on my clit.

      I know those that are married only think of their husbands. But divorced or widows don’t have that option. The question then becomes do you think of an anonymous man, one you know, or someone famous?

      I hope that answers your questions.

  30. MiSWRAPP says:


    I always start with a fantasy about some scenario with my future husband, either from here on MH or from something I just made up. While fantasizing I like to stroke my breasts, tugging my nipples and doing some light fingering of my vagina/playing with the wetness. Then I cross my legs, squeezing them together hard. Once, I find a rhythm of squeezing, I then alternate between touching myself and squeezing my legs. Eventually, the “pressure” from the squeezing causes me to orgasm. Does anyone know how I could achieve this “pressure” without squeezing the legs together? I should mention that I stumbled upon on this method a few years ago.

    • SecondMarge says:

      The leg squeezing technique is interesting. I heard that some women can cum from just squeezing while sitting. Even at their desk at work. Maybe I read it here.

    • SinglePringle says:

      @MiSWRAPP I've always wanted to be able to cum in this way but I think only a few women can do it naturally.

      As for the pressure, my recommendation would either be try using your hands more (it might be possible, it may just take longer) or get a vibrator that can provide the vibrations you need to get off.

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      I thought it was interesting too! I figured I would share it on MH and see if anyone has had/have similar experiences. I will have to look for that story (if it is posted on MH)…thanks for suggesting it!

    • MiSWRAPP says:


      Really? I knew that I hadn’t read any stories on MH (although I haven’t read them all!) that included orgasms from leg squeezing but I didn’t know that is rather uncommon. Thanks for the suggestions, I will try using the hands more and purchasing a vibrator is next on my list!

    • SecondMarge says:

      Not to mention orgasms from just playing with your nipples. Have not accomplished that either.

    • Bighuged says:


      That’s a really awesome technique! I’ve never heard of a women bring herself to orgasm in that way! Between touching your pussy and squeezing your legs, how long does it usually take you to fully cum? Also, do you usually keep going after the first cum?

  31. IndyDad says:

    I had a gf who could cum just by squeezing her legs/thighs together. First time I saw her doing that, I asked her, "Are you doing what I think you're doing?" She laughed and said it felt good.

  32. ILoveSex says:

    Wow! An orgasm from nipple stimulation alone…how great would that be?! Unfortunately, my nipples have lost much sensitivity after nursing 4 kids. I guess they sucked the life out of them! LOL When we were first married, my hubby could really get my motor revving by sucking my tits! He's sad that it doesn't have the same impact any more. I am too. BUT…my nipples are always hard now! That's one thing that changed after all that breast feeding. And hubby is thrilled about that! Even in hot weather, I still have pokies. Haha. Have any of you experienced loss of sensation after breast feeding? And how many of you regularly cum from nipple play alone?

    • SecondMarge says:

      Interesting question. The debate is often vaginal orgasm vs clitoral orgasm. Maybe we need to include nipple, g-spot, anal. Maybe belly

      But in the end sex is in the mind they say.

  33. Beachlover Guy says:

    Guy –
    My masturbation techniques change over time and my latest practice is to lie on my back while I stroke my cock so I can view my cumshot. Sometimes I take photos and share them with my wife if she's away from home, but my primary enjoyment is to watch my cum spurt out and then flow down the head of my cock and down the shaft. I produce sufficient pre-cum, so I don't need additional lube and I usually run my fingers around the ridge of my cockhead until I'm full erect and then I switch to gripping the shaft and pumping. Although I'm married, I average 1-2 solo masturbation sessions a week. Intercourse with my wife is terrific, but self-play is still fun.

  34. IndyDad says:

    Being a guy, I've always been disbelieving of women saying they can have nipple orgasms – but then women can have multi-orgasms, so maybe there is something to that. Must be weird when breastfeeding though. LOL.

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      YOu know, breastfeeding was completely different from nipple play for me. It engendered strong feelings of love and connection, but not a sexual feeling—despite the fact that the same chemical is at work in milk letdown as in orgasm: oxytocin. My children feeding from my breasts did not "turn me on," but the thought of my husband doing so does very much! I've had what I would call mini-orgasms from our nursing sessions the few times we've tried to establish an adult nursing relationship. (Time constraints have always gotten in the way, though.) They couldn't compare to a clitoral or g-spot orgasm, nor those body-shaking deep-spot orgasms, but they were certainly climaxes of a mild sort.

    • SecondMarge says:

      I would describe the difference between my son breastfeeding and adult nursing relationship was mainly, maybe completely mental. The physical sensation of pleasure was the same or close to it. My mind just decided what I should feel.

      If breastfeeding can be a non sexual act can we do adult nursing with a person other than our husband? I have to confess after initially being certain my breast was completely covered, I became very relaxed around people I knew and didn’t freak when I was exposed.

  35. IndyDad says:

    I sampled my wife's milk when she was breastfeeding – had to talk her into it, but the she said she enjoyed it. You have to suck hard to get that warm milk out!

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      It's really more of a pressing with the tongue than a sucking motion, though there is some suction as the pressure is released. We watched training videos for nursing mothers to learn the proper technique; pretty amazing the way God designed the system to work! It isn't instinctive after weaning, though, especially for a guy who was bottle-fed! lol. I think we are getting a bit off-topic, though!

  36. IndyDad says:

    Yes, that is right about the tongue action and once she has a letdown (and my wife always had plenty of milk,) look out! For us, it came about after she had nursed our youungest and said she still felt full. I offered to help. Thats when I talked her into it. She said it was weird at first, but she liked it. Actually, her milk was too sweet for my tastes, but it was fun doing it. I think she also liked cradling and caressing my head as I suckled her.

  37. IndyDad says:

    MISSWRAPP, I've also envied women and their ability to have multiple orgasms, and that they can cum just by squeezing their legs together and thus be sneaky when masturbating!

    • PatientPassion says:

      I've been fascinated to learn that there are actually ways for men to have multiple orgasms too! It doesn't come quite as naturally as for many women, but it's possible in a few different ways. I was able to do it myself a couples of times, and I'm trying to train my body to be able to do it again! I made a post here on MH about it a while ago. It doesn't have a huge amount of information because I'm not an expert there, but it might get you started on that subject if you're interested! (Try looking up "male multiple orgasms" here on MH and elsewhere online.) If I'm able to do it again, hopefully I can write about how I did it.

    • MiSWRAPP says:

      Isn't it amazing how God designed the female and male body to be both similar and different in its orgasmic and pleasure capacities?! And I’m sure there are some things that women sexually envy about men too!

    • MiSWRAPP says:

      Some women might envy that men can become aroused quicker than women (which might be the trade off for why women are multi-orgasmic). Also men tend to have more stability in their hormones as it relates to sexual function across the lifespan as oppose to women (pregnancy, postpartum, menopause etc. with hormonal ebbs/flows).

      I know those don’t directly relate to pleasure (like being multi-orgasmic or orgasming by leg squeezing) but those are two areas where I think men have the advantage sexually. However, other women would probably have different responses.

      Definitely something to ponder!

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply