I am a 23-year-old college student.
Growing up as a Christian, a choice I made without the support of my parents, I always prayed for a future of happiness and abundance for myself. Also, (of course!) I prayed for a Christian husband that wanted the best for our future children and us. (Always speak into existence.)
The man I was blessed to meet is an established working man. We both have never been married and have no kids. We are of different backgrounds and races.
We met when I was 18, and he was 26, while I was working as a receptionist. He worked in a different unit, but always made sure to stop by, talk to me, ask how my crazy day was going, start conversations, and ask if I ever needed help. We grew a friendship, then he asked me on our first date when I was 20, he was 28, and we have been steadily in contact since then. I did go on the date, we went to Chick-Fil-A for milkshakes, then saw a play in the city. It was great; he was polite, funny, and dressed up nicely.
During the first year of our friendship, my family and friends have been open to him. My siblings love him and ask me where I found him hiding in today’s world. His family and friends, on the other hand, were not so open to me; they treated me horribly and made mean remarks about me. It was a tough time for me. He grew up—and all of his family are—Catholic. He tells me stories of how he wished he was able to enjoy his teachings and build relationships from his many years in Catholic school but never was able to find himself there.
I’ve been taking classes full-time to earn my Ph.D. (hopefully as soon as possible!!!!!) I am an Honor student, and he has made sure to show up to all of my ceremonies. Sadly, my computer crashed while I was away at school. I cried and said nothing to anyone about it. I practically lived in the library from 11:00 am – 11:00 pm daily with only bathroom breaks. (At my library, there is a limited amount of computers. So basically, if you leave, you may not get another one that day.)
Before, I would always check in with all my friends during my only free time at lunch. Now I kept my phone on silent to limit distractions and never even remembered to check it until I was walking back to my dorm room. He wondered why I began to slack and stopped checking in around my usual lunchtime, 2:00 pm. I was extremely embarrassed to tell him what happened. I was working so hard and couldn’t afford a computer because I had to pay for books. I did not want to feel less by accepting a gift from him even though we were friends.
I had a new laptop by the next week. This man has supported me every step of the way to make sure I had everything I needed for school. He liked talking to me, asking me how I found God, how I grew up to believe, and follow my faith. He had a genuine interest, and we would go to church when I would stop by in his town. Also, when we met, I did not belong to a church as I was going back and forth from school.
Recently, I am now home full time since school is closed. I slipped up and told him I am in love with him. (I say it that way because, in my mind, I wish I didn’t say it. But I prayed about it, and I’m now glad I did.)
One week later, he asked me if I was interested in counseling and formal courtship. I FROZE and was super surprised. I asked if I could give him an answer next time we spoke. That was two days ago, and I have not said anything about it.
We have healthy communication; he listens to me and takes what I say seriously.
I need advice on not only what I should do, but how I should do it?!?
I was starting to visit different churches in my area (but had to pause because of quarantine), and I do not know who I can talk to about everything I’m going through.
How would I find the right counselor?
I trust this site. I am encouraged by all of the love that is spread on MH to continue to lift myself up, have faith, love our God, and the standards we live by.
Thank you to anyone who can help me. Also, I’d love to read your courtship/how you found the one stories.