The Wait
I was inspired to write this through my yearning for intimacy. it describes how lonely I feel sometimes after pleasuring myself and how my experience will never compare to what is to come.
Yes! Yes! Ahhh!…
But it’s not the same.
It will never be close to what it will be with you my dear, my love.
You’re not here.
Your name isn’t even here for me to call out.
You’re not here to tell me how great I did.
You’re not here to calm me down from such a high ecstasy.
You’re not here to massage my aches and cramps from the intense build-up.
You’re not here to bring me to happy tears and then kiss them away.
You’re not here to laugh about how sore we are the next day.
You’re not here for me to kiss and embrace.
You’re not here for me to express any of this to you.
You’re not here for me to kiss every part of you, purposely avoiding your sweet spot.
I would work you up and have you moaning before going down and sucking you dry like it’s oxygen.
You’re not here to fill me up and tell me how great it feels to be deep inside of me.
I want you so bad. Not even just the climax anymore. Just you.
I want to feel every part of you entangled with me.
The love.
The trust.
The ecstasy.
The bond.
The satisfaction.
The moments of pure bliss.
Just to hold you and lie there together,
So open and vulnerable,
Yet so comfortable and content like I could do this forever.
I want it to last so long.
I can’t get enough of you, and I haven’t even met you yet.
You’re not here yet.
But one day you will be,
And these things will happen.
I know it.
I ache for it.
I have faith for it.
I can’t wait for our intimacy.
Super yum hahaha
This man who ever he is will be blessed by your desire, devotion, horniness. You have such love to give. I’m a super fan of this post ?????? Being that I’m single myself.
Thank you! He will be blessed, I will make sure of it haha
One day
This is lovely. And yes, masturbation is a good release for singles and marrieds…. but it also creates an ache for oneness with our soul mate. Keep sharing those dreams and desires on MH! And it’s ok for the solo sessions to be REALLY good at times. Be grateful if and when you feel fully satisfied (it DOES happen).
Thank you!
You’re right! I’m very glad I have found a place to express it.
Sometimes you read something and it just leaves you speechless. This is one of those times. <3
You’re comment has made me cry in joy! Thank you! I’m so glad my post has blessed you!
Hello singledreamer I was reading your post and I feel for you, I'm still a virgin and on your last post about your fantasies and I have them also. Your poem was so beautiful and made me feel special, I wish to know you or someone like you. Hope you reply back, God bless you.
Thank you so much! I am glad you appreciate my posts and they have blessed you! Have a great day!
@SingleDreamer,
Wonderful story. It inspires us older folks too. So good to see you yearning for that special someone I’m sure our Father will send you someday. That attitude/heart will make you a wonderful wife/lover for whoever that special man will be someday.
Thank you so much! I’m so glad it’s inspired you! And yes it’s a dream of mine to be the best wife I can be.
Damn, I feel this on a deep level. The desire to know someone and be known by them is one I wish I could experince so badly.
Yes, I can only dream of what I’m going to do eventually with the desires He has given me! So far writing has helped me express them and I’m so glad it resonates with others. I was very hesitant to share but I’m glad I did!
I'm glad you shared! I can relate to so much of what you posted in this. I think about it a lot.
"I want to feel every part of you entangled with me."
such a good line, a good sum up of how I feel most of the time. There aren't enough people who are willing to be open about what they want in the world. I hope you keep sharing!
Great poem. Waiting is hard.
Thank you! It sure is
This poem perfectly captures the ache. Beautiful writing and I pray the Lord will bring a godly man into your life soon.
Thank you so much❤️??
Wow…what a powerful, almost poem! And then that sentence at the end 'I have the faith for it'…longing and aching for a relationship isn't always easy. I'm sure someone is waiting for you as well. Keep the faith!
Thank you so much! I’m glad it blessed you!
What a beautiful poem. (It was poetic to me.). I remember having those kind of feelings both before marriage and yes after my divorce. But God blessed me with Melodie who was also lonely but still searching. We’ve now been happily and passionately married for nearly 30 years. Melodie was in her early 40s when we met. But she was still praying in faith for what turned out to be me n my kids to show up.
I am sure your love and you will be led to each other by our Heavenly Father.
That is beautiful and inspiring! Thank you so much for sharing @LovingMan
Such heartfelt desire expressed in your poem, I can feel the ache and yearning in your words.
You and I are on opposite ends of life. While you wait for the love you’ve expressed so eloquently, I’ve lost mine through the separation of death, but our ache is similar. You ache for the touch, the sensation, the passion that awaits you, while I ache for the touch, the sensation, the passion that I’ve had. But the passion of self-pleasure is empty in a way because it’s in our imaginations. So I hope and pray that you will soon find the man who will fill your desires, your dreams, your expectations, and fulfill the answer to all of our prayers for you. God has that person for you. Just be patient, God will bring him to you when He’s ready.
Until that time, explore yourself, explore your desires, explore the words here on MH. It will hold you over until that long awaited day. God bless you.
Oh my. This has left me in tears. The type of grief that you experience is my biggest fear. No heartache can compare. I am so so sorry for your loss. Praying that God gives you strength until you reunite with your lover in heaven!
Thank you so much for your encouragement and I am so so so happy that what I wrote has blessed you! I am in awe how it has resonated with you! I am truly honored. Thank you for such wisdom and encouragement in your comment!
"But you're not here …"
Poetry is more about the feelings and imagery evoked than the form or the words themselves; and I think you hit the nail on the head with this. That phrase says it all.
Yes, it can be a long lonely time. Very frustrating. Many (but not all) experience negative emotions after doing the deed. In some it is rather mild, but to others it can border on crippling. It can be seen as lonliness or as guilt. The latter is the worst. Traditional church explanation is that it is God condemning you for sinning. That is not biblical.
"There is therefore NO CONDEMNATION for those in Christ Jesus …." So where does condemnation come from? The devil – the "accuser of the brethren."
My thought is that it is a soul or spirit level emptiness since God designed sexual activity to join 2 people together. If there is no one there to join to, it leaves an existential emptiness.
As to the loneliness, I believe there is another poem that sums it up. And it is found in the bible, Song of Solomon chapter 5. In verses 2-5 Shulamite masturbates but then goes to find her lover. She is confronted by the watchmen who beat her. Again, it is the image and feeling of this poem rather than the actual words. She is experiencing exactly what you describe, perhaps at the more severe end of the spectrum.
Anyway – welcome to MH and I look forward to reading more from you.
Thank for sharing @Watts2
Guilt is such a difficult thing to struggle with and it used to be a very common struggle of mine but lately loneliness is replacing it. Guilt comes back from time to time but it is not as bad as it used to be thankfully…also thank you so much for referencing the verses, especially Song of Solomon! I read through the chapter in a few translations and it is very insightful.
SingleDreamer, here is the relevant bible verses in full.
Song of Solomon, Chapter 5.
Vs 2.
I slept, but my heart was awake.
Listen! my beloved is knocking.
Vs 5.
I arose to open to my beloved,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with liquid myrrh,
upon the handles of the bolt.
(It is about him in between those verses.)
Something else you need to know about this girl in chapter 5.
Who is she?
Chap 1:8 “fairest among women,”
Chap 4:7 ‘You are altogether beautiful, my love; there is no flaw in you.’
Chap 5:2 “flawless”
Chap 5:9 “O fairest among women”
Chapter 6:11 identifies her as a Shulammite. The meaning of the name is “From the verb שלם (shalem), to be or make whole or complete” – getting out of bed with her hand dripping with 'myrrh' – she was masturbating herself.
The words used to describe her, we could validly say, whole, holy, perfect.
SingleDreamer, what that means for you as a Christian woman, is that it is right and holy for you to be a woman who masturbates herself, that is as a single woman and also late when you are married you should continue to regularly masturbate yourself. I'd like to add my testimony as a woman who has been a Christian for as long as I can remember. And my devote christian parents teaching me about sexuality and masturbation from young, that I have enjoyed God's gift of masturbation from my youth, through my single adult years, and now that I have been married half my life, I have found that my love of masturbation has been a great blessing to me personally and for my marriage.
And I have kids, so we have sex together as well. If I may be a bit crude, I believe a healthy Christian marriage has both screwing and masturbation.
by the way, I got the details above off Quora, from Angelika Selfridge's answer to," Is masturbation a sin?"
Thank you so much Sarah K! That is clear and super helpful. I really appreciate the research and reply! I don’t know why it’s such a condemned and taboo act.
Absolutely stunning, heartfelt and very relatable. Thank you for sharing!!
Thank you so much! I’m so glad you appreciated it!! Solomonssonnet
This is so romantically beautiful and erotic! Poetry that fits the biblical style of SOS! You will be a most wonderful wife and sexual, sacred lover to your future husband!!
Thank you SilverGold! The wait is so difficult, but sites like these and encouragement from you guys make it easier. I am super excited for a beautiful marriage one day, to say the least! ?
SingleDreamer, I believe that ultimately the author of condemning masturbation is Satan. I believe it based on the results: sexual dysfunction, body shaming, fear of intimacy, difficulty in self-control when faced with an intimate situation, leading to real sexual sins such as fornication, adultery, rape.
I remember hearing a woman in a video on Vimeo saying that the Christian Church encouraged masturbation as a remedy against fornication, but I have only ever seen the one reference to it. I and others here attest to the value of masturbation in maintaining sexual purity, both as singles and in marriage.
Well, the woman's claim you mentioned sure caught my attention! So I spent some time researching it, and I don't think she's correct. The Catholic church has condemned masturbation as sinful at least since 1054 (Pope Leo IX), though later, confessors could make some allowance for penitent laymen, youth, the single and widowed, and those denied sex by their spouses (also condemned.) And Martin Luther agreed, calling masturbation unnatural and immoral. The only clergy I found mention of who did not condemn self-pleasure was Albertus Magnus, a 13th-century friar who studied human health. Apparently concurring with the medieval medical advice of physicians such as Galen—at least as it pertained to females—he recommended certain women masturbate to purge the "humors" that caused them ill health, cool their loins, and help them remain chaste if they couldn't have sex with a spouse. So I wouldn't say the "Church" recommended it; but one Dominican brother seems to have done so, at least under some circumstances. But recently, some ministries are pointing out that the Bible is silent on the matter. I was blessed to read a great article on the website of Campus Crusade for Christ (it's called CRU) to that effect.