What to Do with Graphic Homemade Sex Tapes?

One of the interesting trends we see with social media is the emergence of “legacy” preferences. With these preferences, you can decide what is to happen—and specifically who is to gain access—to your social media accounts once you pass away. It’s the same with any videos and photos stored on your mobile phone.

With all of that said, my wife and I have been talking lately about how to best handle the literally 17 years (and counting) of homemade sex tapes we have on hand, most of which are stored on flash drives but a few from the early days are on camcorder tapes. I have counted up the files, and over the 17 years we have shot 245 videos, all totaling some 7,300 minutes (or 121 hours!) of truly XXX content featuring us. About a half-dozen of the videos are of us when Lauren was pregnant with our son, including one when she was 7 or 8 months’ pregnant. The videos shot with our 4K camera, which we purchased a few years ago, are particularly revealing and leave nothing to the imagination. There is virtually no sex act between us that has not been recorded, nor are there many fantasies a couple could act out that are not recorded. 98% of the videos feature us together, with the remaining 2% featuring Lauren alone with me videoing her.

The bottom line is that these tapes are as graphic as they could be, and there are a few in the mix, as previously written about here on MH, that were professionally shot by a video crew.

We have a son, and our last will and testament has it that everything goes to him when we pass away. Our discussion has been around how these videos should be handled in our will. Our estate planning lawyer is aware of their existence, and she said this has to be a decision we make—not her. She did suggest we consider storing the videos on a secure cloud-based site and then once we pass away they would be destroyed by order of our will. But the risk there is that the videos would be in the cloud—lots of risk, when you consider the threat of hacks.

Of the 245 videos, we have categorized 23 that are insanely graphic and and that we will eventually destroy. As for the other 222 videos, we don’t know what to do with them. Should we eventually destroy them? We hate the thought of destroying them! Should we leave them to our son—they would at least show him how in love his parents were? But the thought of him seeing them makes us uneasy, for obvious reasons.

By the way, we continue to add to the collection! So by the time the decision really needs to be made, we may have 500 or more!

We are both very healthy and happy and fully planning to live until 100! But we take estate planning seriously and want to make sure that’s all organized.

I am curious if any other couples on here have had similar discussions about their sex tapes?

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30 replies
  1. 1blessedman says:

    Well, ours were on a thumb drive and it was in my jeans pocket (don’t remember why) and it got washed in the washing machine. LOL. If the tapes are for your enjoyment only, there is really no reason to leave them for future viewing…..right? In the meantime, send them on over and I will review, catalogue and store them for you…..🤓😂🥰

  2. Woods says:

    We have no where near that volume of material. Even so, since I have no reason to think any of our kids would have the slightest interest in what we've enjoyed doing with and or to one another over the years as we reveled in the gift of married lovemaking, we have no dilemma. I have reason to believe they are creative enough all on their own. I transfer everything to password-protected USB drives for which only I know the password. When I'm gone, they're inaccessible.

    Being neither married nor given in marriage in the life to come, I'm not too concerned about them.

    On the other hand, if we had some young couple who could benefit from them, we might leave what we have to them for their edification and enjoyment much in the spirit of an article posted not too long ago here that had a couple left with an annotated collection of Cosmo.

  3. JJ says:

    Look into storing everything onto an encrypted portable hard disk that only the two of you have the key to. If possible set it up to securely erase everything if a certain number of attempts to enter the key are made incorrectly. Another protection would be to have option that everything is securely erased if you don’t unlock the drive properly every “x” number of days.

  4. Blue says:

    Hello, I've enjoyed the site, but haven't found my voice for a story yet. That said, I can offer a couple of suggestions here:
    1. Convert and store all of the videos on an encrypted external hard drive (not on the cloud). Amazon and others sell them, and for a couple hundred dollars you can securely store terabytes of video. If you are really worried about losing it (the only reason to put it on the cloud), buy two, and back it up. Make sure the password is very long and something only you and your wife will remember. Only the NSA or another government agency will have the computer power to get into it. Once you pass, it's essentially gone.
    2. Every person and every family is different, but based on my experience, I doubt your son will want to see them. I still remember finding a Polaroid photo of my mom in a naked pose. Great that my dad got to see and keep the photo, but I wish I hadn't.

    Hope it helps, and have a great day.

  5. Tulsa says:

    We have nothing on a computer, or a phone.(Having none on a phone seems prudent, with Apple's latest announcement)
    Our digital pics & vids, are on thumb drives, and encrypted. They are stashed in 'The Box', which is just a shoe box, which also stores many pics, and sex coupons & things, including pics from the days of our Polaroid camera. Yes….we are old…. 🙂 'The Box', is in 'The Drawer', with all the toys. The whole stash would be an interesting find no doubt!
    What to do with them? Hard to say, and we hadn't really thought about it. We both still 'use' them. We also look at them together.

    Maybe we need everything stored in a box, that will self-destruct like a Mission Impossible cassette upon our demise. 🙂
    We really don't have a plan!

    • LovingMan says:

      Tulsa! What was Apple’s latest announcement you are referring to. All our sexy pictures and short video clips are on our Apple iPhone on a password protected app.

    • Tulsa says:

      “On Aug. 5, Apple announced a new feature being built into the upcoming iOS 15, iPad OS 15, WatchOS 8 and MacOS Monterey software updates designed to detect if someone has child exploitation images or videos stored on their device.”
      [Link approved by MH: https://www.cnet.com/tech/services-and-software/apple-iphones-photos-and-child-safety-whats-happening-and-should-you-be-concerned/ ]

      Take from this what you may, but it sure opens the door for them to look at what they want, using a legit cause to get there. Or for folks working for them to look at what they want. Or some folks with “a need” to look at what they want.

      I use my cell phone, for a phone. I talk to people, and I text people. That's it, and I think I will stick with that!

  6. Keystone Jack says:

    To begin with, "Cloud" = "Someone Else's Computer"

    There's a show my wife & I enjoyed alone together called "Coupling." It's not something we would watch with kids. It's really funny, but my point has to do with one particular episode. Two single guys revealed that they are "Porn Buddies." That means that if one of them dies, the other rushes to their home & collects all the porn so that their mom/girlfriend doesn't find it. In exchange for that important service, he gets to keep the porn. Now, I know that's way out there, but it might hold a bit of an answer for you.

    I told my brother once that if we ever died he was to grab the locked toolbox from under our bed and dispose of it.

    Maybe you don't have that "porn buddy" option, but you could have some provision for a secured device in your home that is left to some trustee with instructions for destruction.

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Funny! We actually talked, perhaps in jest, about uploading it all to a site for public viewing, of course being sure to conceal our faces.

  7. LovesHisHotWife says:

    You can also zip them up on a drive using 7.Zip and password protect them with 256bit encryption. Simply use a long password only you and your wife remember. No need for fancy encryption software. I’d also recommend you do this if storing them on a PC or cloud storage. Never leave them unencrypted. And remember to empty that recycle bin if unencrypting them and viewing them once off.

  8. Fearless Lunk says:

    This post reminds me of how I hope one day someone creates a Christian Porn site. It would be a place to show real loving Christian married couples having amazing sex. All consensual. No orgies. Free from trafficking and abuse. Just a safe place to share marital love tapes, and a much safer place for those who like to peek and be inspired! Who else wished this existed?

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      There is the site MakeLoveNotPorn. It requires a subscription. We have actually talked, mostly in jest, about starting our own site or channel but making sure our faces are blocked out. The problem is that blocking out our faces takes away from so much of the fun, leaving nothing but hardcore graphics.

    • Fearless Lunk says:

      I have checked out MakeLoveNotPorn in the past. It’s a nice looking site, but also not what I would want a Christian site to be. I am thinking that it’s more like couples sharing their real, raw, homemade footage. It would look real… wouldnt always be traditionally “sexy.” MLNP is still mostly “studio quality” sex scenes with people who look like models. It’s not a bad recommendation, but it just doesn’t scratch my itch at all for a Christian porn site for voyeurs and exhibitionists. Or even a Christian version of OnlyFans… id be willing to pay for a membership!

    • MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

      Yeah, we have kept talking this over and we have arrived in the place where we 100% don't want our sex tapes to ever fall into our son's hands. Some of the options listed above are great ideas!

  9. SecondMarge says:

    Who would you want some of them preserved for? Have you shared them? I am in a small minority that thinks any writing or recording or photo if sex acts is by definition porn. This rationalizing that if it’s a married couple it isn’t is at best illogical. But I do not think porn is bad. Porn like any activity that affects your normal daily functioning is bad like any addiction. But about 90% of men and 70% of women have used porn and addiction numbers are in the low single digits.

    Unless you both die suddenly it would seem you could delete everything long before you pass. But I get the feeling you want them to stay around for others to enjoy.

    • Peterpan says:

      I know it is offtopic, but wanted to react to your comment Secondmarge/ I watched porn for quite some years. Let's say every other day. I wouldn't call it an addiction at all. When I discovered this website and got reading here. I started to feel a bit bad about it, can't find any other way to explain. So for over a year now I have tried to masturbate without porn, but sometimes I do miss nudity to watch.
      Would have been great to talk some more about this part of the topic Secondmarge. I just wanted to share this.

    • SecondMarge says:

      Hi Peterpan thanks for sharing your own struggles. I understand porn can be a problem for some people. Unreasonable expectations might be the most common. It also can be a great safe aid for far more. This topic has bounced around on MH with me feeling very lonely in my views. My husband used porn on occasion and I feel it helped our marriage in the same way MH helps many here. Porn as you know covers an almost infinite variety of things from the picture of a nipple to some things most of us find disgusting. I feel if you need assistance to have a satisfying orgasm whether you are not married or your partner has a lower sex drive, masturbating to a story here or a picture or a romance novel or a porn site is not something God wants us to deny ourselves. Since being alone I have looked at a story with pictures that my husband showed me years ago. I needed it to be able to pleasure myself which I always have felt guilty doing. I believe the use of what some call porn is up to each individual to decide. When it comes to sex everyone has an opinion and some claim they can back it up in scripture. I do not agree.

  10. likaself says:

    Why be concerned if your adult kids see them?
    What does it matter if they watch a Christian couple sex tape of their parents, or their neighbours, or strangers?
    How many of us got turned on hearing through the walls or spying on our parents (accidentally or on purpose)? Don't hide your sexuality from your children, just like you need to be open about masturbation with your children. Also, your kids can read this; if they are 18+ they can be members.
    I think you, as parents, need to be the first example of healthy sexuality to your children.
    As I mentioned in another comment elsewhere, in times past when most people lived in a one-room dwelling, parents had to be more open about their sex lives with their children, including their masturbation.

    Personally, I never saw my parents having sex, but I could hear them, particularly my mother, and I used to spy on my mother when she was masturbating, which was hot; it turned me on. Our brains are hard-wired to focus on sexual situations and get turned on. Who is involved is secondary—though primary in what you decide to *do* when turned on.

    Remember King David looking across the rooftops at Bathsheba? If he had masturbated instead of sending his guards after her, he would not have sinned.

    • SecondMarge says:

      Watched your mother masturbate? That could be a whole topic by itself. Or a few sessions on the couch. Did you feel any guilt watching her? I have been walked in on but he did not stop to watch. What did your mom do when you were watching? Did it cause you to please yourself? The dynamic between a parent and child who observe the other is an interesting one. It is great it did not have a negative affect on you. After all it is a natural act. And as was discussed, 500 years ago seeing another member of the family would be the norm.

    • likaself says:

      I'm am very grateful to God that I did see my mum. Yes, it turned me on; yes, it led to me masturbating. 500 years ago, that would have been the norm, and they turned out okay. Through that experience, I saw the beauty of female sexuality, and I fell in love with masturbation (thank you, mum) which carried me through the turbulent teenage years. I think I was one of the few that was still a virgin even when away from home, studying.

      I can testify that AliveSexyWife mother's story is all to common. [https://marriageheat.com/2017/08/16/became-sexually-alive/ ] Through my studies and work as a counsellor, I have found that when children recognise that their parents are sexual beings, they generally have a healthy balanced sexuality. When they see their parents and sex as disgusting, and especially if they have heard or seen something of their parents that turned them on and they become disgusted with themselves, that is a recipe for sexual dysfunction.

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      Well, we don't know how "they" turned out 500 years ago, do we? That said, my husband and I make no secret of the fact that we enjoy our sexual relationship, and I have had several frank conversations with my eldest about masturbation. I would not go so far as to *show* her, but clearly, your seeing your mom wasn't her intention.

      I did hear my mom in the middle of the night when I was a pre-teen and opened their bedroom door to check on her. I scooted back out really quick, and we had a talk about it the next day that set me straight about what I'd seen. (I thought she had yelled in pain, which was scary to a kid.) I have to imagine those conversations happened earlier in life in distant generations where we weren't so privately ensconced at night. I guess back then there wouldn't be any question of whether one's parents were "sexual beings."

  11. Peterpan says:

    That is a great reply to my earlier message. The difference between masturbating to a story here or on porn is that porn is very visual and as you said, can be very explicit. Personally, I don't like that explicit and disgusting stuff. I don't need porn every day anymore. A nipple through a blouse or a well-dressed woman can do the trick too. Not that I cum right away, but it triggers the mind. So now and then it's just the curiosity that needs to be satisfied, and the desire to see a naked woman for stimulation. It certainly is not to degrade women at all, just enjoying the beauty!

  12. Frankie says:

    MarriedtoaHotBabe – you asked "Should we leave them to our son". I'd highly recommend against it. Even in my 40's and married with adult children, I cringed when my mother mentioned my father "getting romantic". Unless things have changed since my children were young, few kids want to think of parents as sexual. The problem with your son seeing your sex tape, is that once he sees it, he can never unsee it. You can't unring that bell. Better to leave it in the hands of a trusted friend with orders to destroy it after you are gone.

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