I’ll try to keep this to the point. My wife and I are 23 and have been married for a little under 2 years. This last year has been really difficult for us. She was on birth control but has since gotten off of it, and her libido remains very low. I feel like I’m getting rejected all the time because I have a fairly high libido.
How do couples work through this? It’s been really challenging, and there are several times (including now while I’m writing this) where I just want to give up and stop initiating and see how that feels for her.
We have sex maybe once a month now, and unfortunately, I’ve been making up for it with porn, which she doesn’t know about. I want to tell her about it, but it would crush her. (She has told me before that porn is equal to cheating for her.) I don’t really know what to do. I want to stop watching porn and enjoy our sex life, but it just hasn’t been working. We’ve argued/talked about it a lot, and she seems genuinely sorry and sad about it. She said it was the BC, but she’s been off of that for a while and nothing has changed.
I’m not blaming anything on her, I just don’t know what to try next. I’m feeling really defeated.
Also of note: we moved to the area where we live now in November and are just now finding a church (today was the first time going), so we haven’t built any close church relationships with anyone to turn to for advice yet.
Thank you for the help.
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