Two dildos showing a big size difference ~ MarriageHeat

Who Likes a 12-inch Dildo?

My wife and I have been together for 18 years, but it wasn’t until we bought some toys that she started to orgasm.

I am small downstairs, so we bought a penis extender which makes me 8 inches, which my wife enjoys.

My question is, how many ladies like using dildos while having intercourse with your partner, and what size is good? I would like to get a 12-inch dildo for my wife, but I’m not sure if it is too big for her.

She keeps telling me she doesn’t need any more toys, but when I buy them, she enjoys them.

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20 replies
  1. LovingMan says:

    I suppose I’m above average down there but MY wife would not like a 12 inch dildo. (That’s way bigger than me.) We DO have a glass dildo (recommended by a MH member) that’s probably 8 inches long. But I do not insert all 8 inches into her vagina. I suspect that the vast majority of women are not equipped with a vagina anywhere near 12” long. Although a dildo that long does give her or you more of a “handle” portion to hold onto. I think the girth may also make a “big” difference (pun intended). Some women may like it and some may not.

    My wife tells me to not buy her anymore lingerie but like your wife with sex toys… my wife uses, or I should say wears the lingerie and clearly feels sexy in the new lingerie! My wife also says she doesn’t need more sex toys yet she likes when I get her a new sex toy (usually a vibrator). And she always gives it a try. And she has come into the local sex shop to help pick out our latest vibrator – most recently a wand vibrator.

    Although my wife could have an orgasm without a vibrator the first several years of our marriage, it became increasingly more difficult to get her there based on both our health challenges. When I got our first vibe she had trepidation but was willing to try it and liked it immediately! We discovered a sex position where she lies on her back and I on my side facing her at a right angle. I love the feel of the vibrations of her vibe through her vaginal walk and with all my heart meds’ side effects the vibration really helps me come. We call this our “X position.” More often in the past but less often now we have simultaneous orgasms while making love in our X position.

    Due to her progressing neurological condition & medication side effects my Melodie now needs a vibrator to climax and there is no shame in that. Usually she rotates through 3 different vibrators in a lovemaking session- including a G spot vibe that she uses simultaneously with a bullet vibe. Lately her orgasms usually happen when I’m loving on her nipples with my mouth or my glans (tip on nip) as she buzzes her clitoris. Sometimes she wants the G spot vibe in and sometimes she doesn’t. I suppose your wife might like a large or smaller dildo pumping her inside while she is using a vibrator on her clitoris simultaneously. But I still wonder if a very large one may be uncomfortable. If you buy a large dildo and she doesn’t like it you can always toss it. (Sex toys are not refundable.) However we’ve found that giving a new sex toy a few tries helps us be sure whether it’s a winner or a dud.

    By the way, I say Good on ya both for getting a vibrator and for her to be able to come now! That is truly wonderful! God bless you both in your shared sexual and emotional journey of marriage!

    MH, sorry my comment is so long but I DO think that it IS relevant to the question.

  2. jwdmccarty2902 says:

    So how do you use a dildo while having intercourse? Is it before you penetrate her? If my wife said she didn’t want something (more toys) then I wouldn’t buy any.

    • LovingMan says:

      Hopefully this sort of answers your question jwdmccarty2902: For my wife & I – I insert a G spot vibrator into her pussy – often before and after intercourse. (not during actual sexual intercourse) She’ll use a bullet vibe to stim her clit while I love on her nips.

      We also found that she can use a vibe on her clitoris during intercourse if we do X position where we lie at right angles with her on her back and me on my side facing her open vagina. She buzzes her clit while I thrust deeply inside her. The vibrator waves traveling through her vaginal wall help me climax and sometimes we still climax together but that is now less common. (due to health issues) But at some point during our lovemaking sessions she almost always comes.

      We also have a glass dildo (recommended by MHers) that we sometimes use during sex sessions… we use it before and/or after intercourse. Both the dildo & G spot vibrator slide in better after I’ve filled her with my love cream – but we also use Aloe Cadabra lube with a lump of coconut oil slid up into her pussy.

  3. 19Sierras97 says:

    For me, this is a very interesting question. My husband is mostly paralyzed. He has a condition where he can get an erection but is not always aware that he has one. They range from small and hard to around 10", and they can be painful for him. He is my only sexual partner, and we do enjoy sex, whether he has an erection or not. But when he is at his largest, I will not lie and say it is too big. I love the feeling of being stretched and filled completely, and I can find the line where pleasure and pain collide into orgasmic bliss. We have also purchased several dildos, sleeves, and strapons of various sizes, but I tend to go for the larger ones. Honestly, I'd talk to her about it; she might want to try, and if she doesn't enjoy it, you can keep going down in size to find one she does like. But nothing is as good as the real, hard cock of your husband at any size.

    • CrazyHappyLoved says:

      I have to agree with Sierra: nothing compares to the real thing attached to the man who loves me.

      Still, when he's done and I'm just getting started or he's close and doesn't want to cum yet, our go-to dildo has 8.5" insertable (with molded testicles that serve as a handle) and most of the time when I'm maxed out depth-wise, there's still an inch or so left to go. Any longer would definitely be wasted unless it was needed as a hand-hold on a different design.

      That said, the width of it is 2", which ≈ 6" girth—not that of the average guy. That stretch is so intensely pleasurable that it almost never fails to help me reach orgasm quickly if accompanied by clitoral stimulation. It's not something I want all the time, though Rez loves how I feel around him afterward. If you had a "tighter is better" mindset, you probably wouldn't be considering a larger dildo for your wife, so you might like that side effect too!

  4. King Arthur says:

    Shouldn't this be under the discussion heading? [From MH: Yes! Thank you.]

    My wife likes a smooth-shaped vibrator/dildo. I've offered to get a realistic shaped vibe, but she wasn't interested. She usually starts out with two small bullet vibrators on each side of the clit and then switches to a Magic Wand. If I am hard enough, I penetrate the vagina, if not, she uses the smooth vibrating dildo I mentioned before. I have ED problems and severe premature ejaculation issues.

  5. JavaRN says:

    Typically we used a vibrator when I wanted to focus on oral but still let her feel penetration. She would usually come very easily like this. Also at times we’d use vibrating anal beads during sex as well. I would say it depends on what /when she wants to use them during sex

  6. 2Becum1 says:

    In response~ I provide the following and then my answer is at the end…

    Dipping our 8” dildo (alias “Andrew") into the warmed coconut oil begins our erotic foreplay, a lengthy prelude to the most intimate of experiences orchestrated by this “warm-up session.” Our experience (& I am answering your question on behalf of my wife) with this helpful silicone realistic looking molded penis device began when I was headed for recovery from hernia surgery and wanted to make sure my lovely bride was “taken care of” throughout my “downtime”! While this purchase and “presentation” was my surprise to her due to the circumstances involved, other toy purchases have been a dual shopping and agreed-upon adventure. She quickly became bonded to this toy, and it is now a regular part of the whole experience. As I prepare for the entry of “Andrew” into my wife’s well-lubed, coconut-oiled, dripping pussy, I look to her for signals to navigate for deeper proportions (sometimes not going fully in) and thrust speed. We certainly enjoy the journey, and after about 20-30 min of this foreplay phase, she is totally engulfed in a series of orgasms and begs for “Andrew-the-dildo” to be replaced by her true Andrew's manhood, a solidly swollen cock warmed by her massaging that she has delighted me with throughout the lowly lit, candle-flickering room experience. As I enter, her body continues to respond, and I can tell by her eyes and body movements that all senses are in full motion of the beautiful gift our Maker has created! At this point, she communicates to me to thrust on at full speed and to cum whenever I am ready. Our intimate lovemaking was excellent prior to this whole dildo deal, however now it has ramped up several notches!! I truly recommend the 8-inch length with 2” girth. Four additional inches for a total of a foot-long deal would be uncomfortable. I’m thinking it would be similar to her purchasing a prostate massager four additional inches from the one she currently inserts into my back door. I may try it because she went to the trouble of buying it, however I'm not sure about the pleasure point, and I wouldn’t want to disturb that great sensation and would recommend the same for our lovely wives!

  7. 20sophiemarie00 says:

    My husband is say 10" I personally love when he takes me hard and passionate and fucking me deep to the inner core of my pussy. Mmmmm the pressure of his cock trying to go deeper drive me crazy. Placing my hand on my belly and feeling the bulge of his cock sliding in and out. The feel of lying on my back and laying my head down over the side of the bed and his big cock sliding fully inside and down my throat, stretching and bulging my neck out. And big huge dildos go come into our game play but i perfer his real big hard cock.

  8. 2Becum1 says:

    Hey! Yes~an electric or candle/tea light wax warmer works great (some have nice ambiance lights that create a nice mood with the room lights turned down). We have several that the coconut oil is warmed in and for the silicone dildo -which tends to be on the cool side-applying the warmed (CAUTION: NEVER hot!) coconut oil is a welcomed entity! I am very mindful of the warming temps of the oil and turn off the warmer prior to using ~to allow the oil to be a good touchable temp prior to applying to the dildo or anywhere else! I have experimented with the warmed oil on my prostrate massager device (and then inserted in me) to understand better how it would feel for my wife to be the receiver of the oiled lathered dildo and it is a great thing (both from her perspective and my own!).

  9. hornyGG says:

    I like my dildo's big, but I think 12 inches would be a bit much for me to handle. I have a 10 incher that pretty much fills me. But like noted previously, there is nothing like the real thing. God bless and stay horny.

  10. Brett says:

    Thank you to all that replied. We have purchased a 10 inch with extra girth dildo which my wife enjoys but struggles to cum as it completely fills her up.

  11. SecondMarge says:

    We have done some exploring of different sizes during role play. Best was after he cums in me my plastic fantastic lovers take their turns. Often he supplies the thrusting and when I get crazy horny I do it myself as he pleases my boobs. If I’m going for the big O the buzz of a vibe more than my realistic looking dildos. But the feeling of filled and even stretched is also very enjoyable. The length that is insertable varies from total length because it needs to be held having no propulsion of its own.lol.
    I am able to take more and bigger as we continue and after I cum he is usually hard again and enjoys round two giving me another load that I need after the "others" have finished with me. Watching me have sex with these silicone lovers gets him very turned on, especially the bigger ones.
    If I could measure I would guess 7-8 inch’s of insertion is plenty. But I have taken over 10 when very well lubed and into it. With some pain. It isn’t something I would do regularly. 5-7 inches is sufficient for my enjoyment. I think he likes watching the big ones more than I like the feel.
    We are all built differently and experimenting can be fun.

    • CreamyPatty says:

      Once again I have to say that your comments I’m reading here could have come from me! Makes me wonder if we ever met each other anonymously, would we ever know how similar we are? Would we compare notes?😎
      Innocent fantasies here, but reading your thoughts really gets me hot, I hope that’s allowed here!

  12. SecondMarge says:

    I watched a Showtime program on the making of custom dildos. I will avoid too much detail but the largest they make is 22 1/2 long and 3 inches wide. I’m guessing it’s mainly for show. But you have to appreciate the ingenuity 3D printer and casting equipment and the man has a business selling thousands of various sizes, shapes, colors and designs.

  13. 1blessedman says:

    Coming from the medical field, I think the average woman is 6.5 inches inside(naturally) and the average man is about 5.5 inches. A couple of thoughts here. Use whatever tools the two of you enjoy. I am above average length but we have used sleeves that give more girth….usually not needed or desired but sometimes she wants something different. One time I took a dildo we made from a mold and put it through the flap of my briefs and fucked her with it so as to extend the time for her pleasure as I was too close to cumming. I think the overwhelming voices I have heard from women over many years is they prefer girth over length. Now, since anal sex is many guys dreams, how about guys take a strapon the size of their cock before their lady takes their cock anally? Just perspective!

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