Gorgeous and Feminine
One of LLL’s comments recently caused me to go on a bit of an encouragement soapbox in my reply. I’m not picking on her in any way. I have all the respect in the world for her. But I think that many women share in the difficulty of seeing themselves as beautiful and feminine.
Secular society is largely to blame for this. By creating “beauty standards” which are so ingrained, they are very difficult to overcome or see past.
I find that repulsive because Psalms 139:14 says
“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made”.
In addition, Solomon didn’t give a bra size in Proverbs 5:19
“Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
Nor did he or the wife reference bra size, dress size, or specific features discussing sexuality in Song of Solomon.
Some men with their attitudes and expectations don’t help either. I also find this repulsive and would invite those men to take a look in the mirror.
So, my mini-rant is complete (for now). Keeping Solomon’s attitude in mind, I invite MH gentlemen to list why you think your wife is the sexiest fucking thing you’ve ever seen.
I also invite the self-assured ladies to comment on the beautiful wonder that is gloriously female.
– KM
KingdomMan; When referring to the Song of Solomon one should always keep in mind that the guy had 1000 wives. Which one then could or would assume, he was privy to 1000 varying bra sizes. 🙂
I admit, this made me chuckle!
😂🤦♂️ It’s true that he had 700 wives and 300 concubines, but even with that, the principal I was trying to get across is true.
Not to be contentious, but according to most scholars Jewish and Christian, this story is likely a fictional story using Solomon as an archetype, rather than a biographical or autobiographical account. Think of it as a parable that teaches the elements of a healthy relationship.
Also there is a strong chance Solomon never met many of his wives because they were proxy marriages for political gain.
That beings said, the point is not lost that variety was not a lacking area for King Solomon lol
I don’t think of it as contentious, but I don’t think I can get on board with Song of Solomon being an archetype or parable. Don’t mind you sharing your opinion though 😉
I think my wife’s sexiest physical features are her big beautiful Nordic eyes and her beautiful D – cup breasts. But sexy is more than physical beauty.
Melody n I met when I was a single dad. Her love and care for my children was sexy to me. And my positive relationship with my children was sexy to her.
As a science-enthusiast her science background and high intelligence was and still is a huge turn-on for me. So common interests were n are important. We really did become best friends before I acknowledged the romantic feelings I had developed for her.
After half of a year of dating I finally kissed her. I proposed the next day. (It was an amazing kiss – a taste of things to cum (if ya know what I mean).
Boob play is a “big part” of our lovemaking sessions. (Pun intended!) Just yesterday as I was loving on her boobies I said, “I love you and I love your big beautiful boobs. God gave them to you to give your husband pleasure and for me to give you sexual pleasure through them!”
I said this to help my gorgeous wife be more accepting of her physical beauty – including her smooth porcelain skin and her glorious full breasts. She was teased in high school about her breast size. This has left her feeling like she is too big up front. But i reassure her that she is beautiful and that her breasts are a “big part” of that beauty.
But I also remind her that I fell in love with her mind and kind personality before I got to fall in love with her body. I would love her no matter her breast size. But I still absolutely adore her breasts! And manually stimulating her nipples, licking her nipples, sucking her nipples etc has a direct connection to my erection.
In fact a few years ago we discovered “TON” or “Tip On Nip.” That is when I pump my rod as I rub my tip on her nipples. She came just yesterday morning while using her vibe as my tip rubbed her titty nipple.
We don’t use the F-word variations as expletives but we do use those words to refer to sex so the wording of your request made sense:
“I invite MH gentlemen to list why you think your wife is the sexiest fucking thing you’ve ever seen.”
It made sense because to me my wife IS the sexiest fucking thing (or person/woman) I’ve ever seen! She and I do a lot of fucking so she definitely is the sexiest fucking woman I’ve ever seen!
Thanks LM! That’s exactly the kind of thing I was looking for men to say about their wives!
KingdomMan, thank you for this post. You are always building up others in your comments, and it is appreciated. With the Lord's help, I am working to truly accept and embrace my appearance. As I said in one of my early posts, something that helps me be grateful for my body is hearing stories about disabled/deformed people. Some go through horrific things and are still so joyful and encouraging, so I have no excuse. I need to love how I look because God created me and He doesn't mess up. Plus, I know that some of my issues are health-related and can be fixed. Hormonal imbalance has caused me to put on some weight and experience menstrual issues, but I am researching all of that and working with several fine doctors. I do all I can on my end to maintain a fit and healthy lifestyle. In the meantime, I am trying to thank God as often as I think of it for how He made me. And to realize that the beauty standards of today are ludicrously unrealistic and mainly created by other women, not men!
Good for you LLL. Your body is the temple of God, and you have a great perspective. Fall in love with your body and the pleasures both you and your future husband can receive from all of your sexy attributes.
Well…first of all, as far as the "boobs vs. butts" preference goes, I didn't chime in on the discussion because I'm unsure if I wanted to go there. I will say that I love a nice butt on a girl, and that makes it sound like I'm taking a stand. But in my roughly 25 years since I hit puberty (and probably before then even) I've been attracted to women of all ages, shapes, sizes, races, hair colors, etc. I've tried never to hold up one particular type in mind as most desirable, and instead have fallen in love with women far more for their personalities and sympathy of spirit. And one of these days I hope to fall in love with someone who will actually love me back!
Now we all have something about our bodies that we wish was different than how it is…several in my case! As far as women go most of the ones I've met are beautiful in one way or another. It helps to be reminded that no matter what you look like, there will be SOMEONE out there that's into that. And usually there is no harsher critic than yourself!
Very nice FM. I always admire people who don’t have a “type”. I pray you’ll find your one and only.
Who knows, maybe I'm destined to be like Solomon! 😉
I hope you don't mean that you're hoping for 1000 wives! 🤣
Your comment was great, and I like that you can see beauty in many different kinds of bodies and faces. I'm afraid I'm slightly more picky and have a type that I'm keeping my eye out for. However, I know that God will bring me the best kind of man and his looks aren't the number 1 thing I need to be looking at. So I'm really just leaving it up to the Lord…while praying He does see fit to bring me the type I like! 🤪
1000 would be a nice round number but perhaps 70 virgins is enough? The more I study the Old Testament the more I see aspects of Middle East culture that aren't condemned by God as much as by modern Western society. But I'm sure convincing just ONE woman to marry me will be enough of an uphill battle…
Sometimes I think that the polygamy thing has got to be just too complicated to work. I mean, having one spouse to learn about and grow with is hard enough. Imagine having more than one! All with different personalities, needs, desires, backgrounds…I couldn't do it. And I do agree that it isn't flat-out condemned by God, at least in the Old Testament. But logically, it just doesn't make sense. Opens the door for too many problems!
I don't want to keep this going too far off topic, but it seems relevant to note here that God did explicitly command Israel's kings not collect many wives, so Solomon's polygamy WAS condemned by God.
When God was giving the law, long before Israel had a king, he predicted they would eventually demand one, so he set out rules for the king's behavior.
Deuteronomy 17:17 (ESV): "And he shall not acquire many wives for himself, lest his heart turn away…" (See verses 14-17 for more context.)
But as we know, he DID acquire many wives for himself, and exactly as predicted, his heart turned away, and this disobedience was a significant part of what let to Solomon's straying and downfall.
(Sigh) I respect your point and position, but the point of the post wasn’t to focus on how many wives Solomon had.
😀 Look what kind of arguments one little off-hand joke can produce! Kings weren't to multiply wealth of any kind over their subjects, so why focus just on wives? 😉
I've been reading Deuteronomy recently and came across that passage in ch.17 just the other day! As it is a commandment written specifically to kings (of Israel), how would that in any way apply to a common man living 2000 years ago or even today? That's a whole 'nother can of worms though…
And if I remember correctly, Biblical criticism of Solomon didn't concentrate on how many wives he had, but rather on his marriage to foreigners. His leniency towards their foreign religious practices eventually led him into idolatry himself, and this is what is condemned in scripture.
Elsewhere in Deuteronomy (ch.23) it talks about the legitimacy of offspring produced between Children of Israel and foreigners. But even as far back as Genesis 32 where Jacob makes a covenant with his father-in-law not to take wives other than his daughters, or even back to Isaac's and Abraham's wishes that their sons take wives from among their own people instead of Canaanites.
FM, it’s just conclusive proof that you never know where the comments will go. 😂
So what shall we discuss next??? 😀
Please understand, I took no issue with an off-hand joke, I only spoke up when there seemed to be more serious beliefs implied.
But I've already helped derail the comments enough from the original topic. Apologies for that! I'll post my more relevant comment in a moment! Maybe I'll expand on my thoughts on this side topic in another discussion post or more appropriate comment section.
I'm not married yet, but I'll give my single perspective.
I've found all sorts of women attractive: tall and short, all skin shades, short to very long hair of brown, blonde, black and red, big boobs, little boobs, and on and on. I find the female form to be "gorgeous and feminine" and attractive in all its variations! I have very few preferences in regard to a woman's physical attributes, as long as she keeps herself in reasonably good shape. I certainly don't expect her to be an Olympic athlete! (One exception is that I am very partial to a well-shaped butt. Tough to say what that means exactly, though. It's rather subjective!)
But as I've thought about what makes a woman attractive to me, I think what's most attractive is a good heart: one that is strong, kind and most importantly loves Christ. And if she's confident in herself and her looks (which are 2 different things), that's a big boost. If she's willing to pursue what she wants in life, sexually and otherwise, all with a solid moral compass, that's one of the most attractive things I can imagine! Within marriage specifically, if she embraces her sexuality and seeks to use it for our mutual pleasure, that's a dream come true, and WAY more attractive than the hottest physical appearance! I want the kind woman who embraces and pursues God's wonderful designs for her! I think that describes (in part) the kind of people God wants us to be, in marriage and other areas of our lives, and so I desire and seek that out in a potential wife.
I think most of those things are accessible to any woman, and they're way more important than just physical attractiveness. Honestly, a woman who might at first appear to be a 3/10 (by the subjective standards of modern beauty) instantly becomes a 9/10 in my book just by loving God, herself and those around her, and working on fulfilling God's missions for her life.
Of course there are more intimate things I find sexy and attractive, like a woman's nipples and vulva (especially when aroused), but as an unmarried man I can't comment on those from experience yet! Hopefully my future wife will be positive about MarriageHeat, and some time in the future I can sing praises here about what a masterpiece of a body God artfully formed for her!
You've really given it some thought and I love that you're able to articulate so well what makes a woman attractive. Agreed 100%. Also wanted to expand on something you said, speaking as someone who usually takes 2-3 years of knowing someone as a friend before I fall for her. The more I fall in love with a woman the more I begin to notice how beautiful she is, it's just that it's taken me that long to notice!
Very nice PatientPassion. I hope The Lord brings you a Godly wife and the both of you get to enjoy this life.
I have had quite the journey of self acceptance. I went from clinically underweight to clinically overweight and now I’m evening out to somewhere in between. I never liked how I looked when I was underweight. I hated having no curves but also seeing my bones under my skin. I was very unhealthy back then.
Recently, I’m not as harsh on my former self as I once was, but I see a struggling woman when I look back at old pictures. I see a cry for help. I wasn’t eating because I wasn’t happy. I didn’t want to be underweight, but had no appetite.
I like myself better now if only because I’m healthier. A lot of people told me they wanted to be as thin as me at that time, but it wasn’t healthy. I wasn’t confident. I wasn’t happy. I had no energy. I hated life.
I can see the beauty in who I once was now. I am less harsh about it. I have love for my former self that I didn’t have before, but I wanted to shed light on what it was really like to be as thin as a lot of women want to be because it’s not fun or healthy or even confidence-boosting, in my experience.
More recently, I struggle with the opposite issue. I find myself hating that I’m a bit overweight, and here is the lesson in this: there was a very small window of time where I was actually happy with my body and had the body I wanted to. Maybe even a matter of a month or two. That’s how small the window was for me: Any pounds under or over that, and I hated my body again. That’s no way to live life.
It’s practically impossible to attain or keep for any length of time the body or weight you think you want. It’s elusive and not realistic. Moreover, ever since I had my first child, my body is not within the realm of what I wanted before either, and this time it’s not even about weight. It’s about the way I have extra skin, and my breasts hang lower, and the marks all over my belly from carrying a child. We as women hate what our bodies naturally are, and that’s a shame.
I have come to love my stretch marks and loose skin as my husband does. He loves them because it’s a physical marker that I grew life inside of me. The miracle of growing life and sustaining it was what created the so called problems I have with my body, so I’ve had to learn to love them. The truth is that we don’t learn about the natural beauty of women from society, and we are sold a fake version of it: one with surgery, photoshop, starved models, and definitely no representation of a natural body after childbirth.
I don’t have a perfect solution but I’m on a journey of loving my own body, and I encourage other women to do the same!
My heart breaks over the struggle you have faced, and I’m sorry you have gone through those issues with self-acceptance. I sincerely applaud your strength and dogged determination to not give up. You are beautiful and you are enough.
Society works hard to make women feel insecure, and there are people that earn BILLIONS of dollars from fueling that insecurity. Constantly changing clothing designs, makeup, and hair dye are NOT designed to "make women beautiful". Nope! They are designed to make a few people very wealthy. The sooner more people figure that out, the sooner more marriages will be happier.
Another thing that adds to the insecurity is that, when a woman wants advice on what men want, she asks… other WOMEN. The only opinion that actually matters is that of her husband. But, in today's society, the poor husband is often the LAST person that she would ask. Then, she goes home with some radical new hairstyle, and then the poor husband is "in the doghouse" if he says anything other than high compliments. So, he lies, tells her that he loves the new hairdo, and then later goes out and visits a prostitute that looks like his wife USED TO look.
Glory to God, I am not "that guy". But, I have spent enough time in locker rooms and patrol cars (I'm an ex-cop, and partners discuss a LOT of things on a midnight shift) to know that a lot of men can identify with the above.
Instead, the key is open and honest communication — on both sides.