Dear Future Spouse
This post isn’t quite a discussion post, but neither is it a sexy story. It’s more of an self-introduction and inspiration for those spouses-in-waiting among our readership. It could stir up fond memories among those of us who are already building/maintaining our marriage heat, who may offer to add some encouragement in the comments.
Hello, I’ve just discovered MH about recently, some time in October.
It’s wonderfully liberating to see marriage talked about so freely and vulnerably here. I’ve since had a feeling that, if my future spouse is anything like me, he probably has already discovered this site as well—or will discover it.
After reading some of the stories here, I’ve become more motivated to prepare myself till I meet my man.
Yet for that reason I also felt prompted to write this following letter.
I’ve received skeptic feedback when shared elsewhere.
Given the context and MH community, I believe it will resonate better here and hope other singles find courage on their journey as well.
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Dear Future Spouse,
Hello my love.
I know it’s been a long wait, and I thank you for your courage, fortitude and patience, yet I would also like to apologise. I have an inkling that it wasn’t the smoothest journey to sail through, for you or for me, yet I hope you’ve been well.
In my thirty-seven laps around the sun as an Asian-Canadian with a very colourful nomadic family history, I’ve travelled to places wondering if you were in these different cities, yet I’ve never quite felt this way before.
I thank God for taking me into his embrace, baptising me even predating my earliest memories as a child, and through my journey with Him, I’ve come to experience many unbelievable spiritual encounters and gifts. As such, I do believe I am able to differentiate between what I feel physically, emotionally and spiritually.
So when I say I’ve never quite felt like this before, know that it doesn’t happen often. By this phrase, I mean that I think I can sense your prayers for me or your thoughts. It’s hard to explain.
Since October 2024, I’ve felt oddly enveloped in this warm, sweet and loving spiritual embrace that makes me feel like I’m married, even though I’m very, very, very single.
I’ve only felt this way once in a dream I had when I was 16.
Next was a dream/vision some time around 2017-2020, and in this dream, you very clearly said to me, “No matter what, I’ll wait for you.” I woke up crying from that dream, because of the situation I was in at the time.
It’s been quite a few years since then. It must not have been easy for you.
So, I’d just like to say, “I’m so sorry, baby. Thank you, and I love you already.”
At the same time, I know God has perfect timing. For whatever reason, like a beautifully long dance, I’d like to believe we’ve been simultaneously preparing and working on ourselves, yet spiritually have always been partners from the start. It’s just that (at least on my end) self-doubt has perhaps dragged on longer than it needed to. Now I know I need not follow the train of thought that tells me, “I’m still single because there’s something wrong with me.” To that, I say, “No.”
For many years, I hadn’t felt anything. I wasn’t able to believe that there was a person for me.
I felt alone and strange, not fitting into this bizarrely tainted modern world of relationships. Yet after reading stories on MH, it’s made marriage feel very attainable and grounded in reality. I’ve also come to realise it is a matter of faith and action. The quicker I take action on myself to prepare for my divine husband, the sooner we will meet in the flesh. The closer my relationship is with God, the more faith I have, the more I get to understand how I was made and who I am, discover the truths of myself and face down any inner demons, the sooner we will meet in the flesh.
I still have quite a bit to work on, and perhaps we each still have preconceived ideas of what we imagine our spouse to be like. I pray, and want to tell you, I’m pretty amazing ’cause God made me to be, but I’m also navigating being a human, and in that, I may not be as perfect as the version of me you have in your mind.
As a single, sometimes marriage becomes a fantasy, a mirage, or we place the idea of our spouse on a pedestal, as a kind of saving grace from loneliness. Yet that’s not what it is. God is our saving grace. Holy Spirit and our angels help us feel at peace and know we’re never alone.
As for our spouse? Baby, you’re my partner in life. I want to share the beautiful moments God gifts me with every day, and you’re the one I want to tell it to. (I’ve had insane miracles happen in my life, on the daily—insane.) And I wish you could tell me all about your stories too. You’re also my crime-fighting, kick-ass spiritual warrior, and I’ll be that for you. We’ll keep our souls pure and divinely aligned with God above all else.
With that said, we are on MH, and we know what that means, so I’ll leave by saying I’m praying for you, and whenever the urge hits, you’re in my thoughts. And boy, you’ve been in my thoughts quite a bit this past month. The energy is tantalisingly sweet and spicy. I’m over here breathless already! 😉
With blessings & love,
– Your Future Spouse
DivinelyAligned,
Beautiful letter.
The last paragraph, are you saying that this past month you have been quite horny and masturbated quite a bit?
Please confirm.
Sarah K.
That was lovely. I and I think a lot of other singles here pray over their future spouses. And I hope your future husband DOES read this, before he even meets you! I get the feeling of not having a right place for you, and sadly MH is a hard sell in a lot of Christian-oriented places–I know because my comments linking here usually get deleted! All we can do is carry on and grow closer to God, trusting in Him to bring all things into alignment according to His perfect timing.
Faith-Manages,
Spot-on!! I have a years-long friend, a former Green Beret, that introduced our Bible study group to the concept of praying for one's future spouse. It is a GREAT idea.
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DivinelyAligned,
See above. Several months ago, I was praying for my next spouse. God whispered, "I'm preparing her."
"…not fitting into this bizarrely tainted modern world of relationships" WOW, that was spot-on!! You are insightful and articulate. (PS: "Smart is sexy.")
So, you're looking for a "crime-fighting, kick-ass spiritual warrior", huh? This ex-cop and former martial artist, turned pastor, is looking for a wife that takes her sex life almost as seriously as her walk with Jesus. For more details, read the "intro letter" that I posted on this site a couple of months ago. Link below.
https://marriageheat.com/2025/01/11/introducing-turnedon47s-story-with-a-poll-question-about-pornography/
If that page interests you, then perhaps we should find a way to message directly. And, if it doesn't interest you, then I hope that you find what you're looking for.
Either way, MH is a safe site for such discussions and Christian encouragement. Welcome aboard. (Or, should I say, "Oso oshipshi-yo"/) Just a guess that you might be Korean. I spent a year there.
I'm sure he will appreciate this. One thing I would mention is that the enemy will do everything God allows to get in the way of you two being brought together. There is a pretty good chance one or both of you will not accept the other when you meet. Have mercy for each other.
GatorBait,
In her intro, DivinelyAligned said that she had received "skeptic feedback" on other sites.
She likely doesn't need any more. Pronouncing negativity over her future is not helpful.
I don't think you understand. I've seen this sort of thing before. When you're standing there wondering if the person you're looking at is the man or woman who did something incredibly special for you that no one else would, you are a complete nervous wreck. Nothing is going to come out right or look right or feel right. If she walks into this expecting things to go smoothly without effort, they will look at each other and go "God please no". Second chances are possible, but not if they give into vengefulness. It's better to mention that things are not going to go as expected then to watch them miss what God has for them due to unpreparedness. Also this is far from the skeptic feedback, ([like people saying] it's demonic and so on) that she is talking about, but rather how things go in reality.
[Edited by MH: just a slight adjustment for clarity.]
Your spirit is so lovely, DivinelyAligned. I love how you have prayed and waited and prepared for your future husband. God hears your prayers and has an amazing story for you. That's been a comfort to me too as I walk the path of singleness. It would be incredible if you did meet your man here on MH! I try to pray for everyone on this forum, so I will be lifting you to our Father and His loving will.
Uh-oh…. No more comments or replies on this beautiful post.
Did I scare her away…?? ;(
[From MH: Not necessarily! Many authors simply don't get around to replying to comments in their posts for a while because of the long delay between submission and publishing.]
That was a beautiful letter, and I love the sentiment that more and more young people are seeming to realize that the lovemaking union between spouses is not just physical but SPIRITUAL as well…as long as both are trying to give over 50% and make their partner happy…not just w physical things but small things as well…small things that add up so when the day ends you both DO feel like spending time making love to your spouse…and not always sexual union…we did a lot of non sexual touch that kept our ardor awakened even when nothing was going to happen that night….or massages and foot tubs that dont have to end with sex as a return of the favor…your submission to your spouse may mean doing things without expectations of favors in return…and if you do that…you'll be amply rewarded!
This is a very amazing letter!
I once knew a young lady who wrote an entire diary for her future husband!
They ended up getting married and having several kids. It was a beautiful story!
I joked with her and said so your husband gets a wife with an instruction manual! LoL
It's beautiful how God brings things and people together! Stay encouraged!