Making Chat Connections Within the Community
I’ve been visiting MarriageHeat for about a year now, and I just want to start by saying how grateful I am for this space. The honesty, vulnerability, and celebration of God-honoring intimacy in marriage has been both encouraging and refreshing. The stories shared here have often stirred something good in me—sometimes inspiration, sometimes desire, and sometimes just the comforting sense that I’m not alone in what I feel or long for.
That leads me to something I’ve been wondering about, but haven’t seen much discussion on:
Is there a space or way for like-minded Christians within this community to connect and chat with one another?
There are times when I read a story or a comment that really resonates, and I find myself wishing I could just reach out and chat with others here—whether to express gratitude, share my own experience, or just to have an honest, respectful conversation with someone who gets it.
I know this site is primarily for sharing stories, but I also wonder if there’s interest or openness to community connections like chatting. Maybe something like a private group, a forum, or even safe and affirming ways to connect off-site—perhaps through Reddit, Snap, or another platform where we can maintain respect, safety, and shared values.
I’m not exactly sure how to ask all this, but I just felt prompted to share. I believe that connection and encouragement among believers—especially in the area of marriage and intimacy—can be powerful. If anyone else has felt similarly, I’d love to hear your thoughts or ideas. And if there’s already something like this happening, please point me in the right direction!
Thanks for listening and for being part of a space that truly matters.
Warmly,
PdxDomestic
MarriageHeat.com 2018
I like that this site does not have a private message feature. I joined the marital bed for a brief moment. I would post something and then receive messages from creepy men on the site. I think they were just a few immoral people posing as Christians just looking to be perverted or something. I would never reply and abandoned the creepy place.
I totally agree with you. I know how dangerous facebook messenger can be because someone who said they wanted to meet me, also attempted to scam me. The same with Instagram. I don’t believe there is any safe way to have messaging contact with others here on MH.
It’s a steep sloop into stalking.
I totally agree.
Currently, I am "single again". So, making connections could help me to again enjoy "marriage heat". I think that should be celebrated.
But, so far, the policy is against it. 🙁
I’m honestly a little surprised that MH posted this. They have had a long standing policy against members chatting with each other, so I’m not sure where they’re headed with this.
I'm not surprised they allowed the topic/opinion to be shared, but yeah I don't think they're going there and I don't think they should. There is always the possibility, however remote of having a role in facilitating inappropriate communications and temptations for someone. As much as I would have loved to PM folks on some occasions, I don't think it would be consistent with the values of the site.
An MH subreddit does sound pretty interesting! Still I think this site stands on its own and doesn't need to be expanded to another platform but perhaps there are already places on reddit that are similar; haven't checked.
I know that there are sites by members like […] where some of our members have connected. I've always encouraged those here that are interested in prostate massage to come over to the Aneros forum…of course I haven't been on there too frequently myself, for a while.
Still I don't think we necessarily need "MH but with messaging," and I think that the anonymity of this site is a good idea so trying to connect with particular members might be a difficult sell. But I suppose if two people WANT to connect off-site I'm sure it's happened before.
[Edited by MH: Sorry, we don't want to promote that particular site as it is known to extensively feature content that conflicts with our values.]
It’s a good question. One that I echo. I think there are several here who would like to have more conversations rather than just the post/comment format. However I totally respect the vision and mission of this site, and their desire to not facilitate that. You can find me on a few other platforms (I always have the same username). And if anyone from MH wants to start a page on Discord for MH peeps, I would join that in a heartbeat.
I would be against a chat. The way things are now is able to keep sin elements more at bay than a chat situation could do. The standards of MH are working toward a specific goal. A chat, of the personal one on one variety would work to unravel that.
I think we are allowed, & have used MH in a chat kind of way at times. Many people have used it to comment & enquire at length sometimes. It is just open & honest to everyone seeing it. I think, on purpose.
Moderating a chat would be harder, imo. Plus, the point is celebrating marriage together.
I agree, that there are times that I would love to connect with the author of a story. However, that opens the door for the loss of anonymity that, is the beauty and which allows me and my wife to enjoy and explore the benefits of MH. Our standing in a very conservative religious group and minister cold be harmed through a chat forum, even if established for good reasons. I would oppose establishing one, as the benefits of MH are for personal and private enjoyment and assistance in one’s intimate journey and development and it should stay that way.
Simple. No.
The mission of MH is clear and well moderated. It would be difficult if not impossible to regulate a private chat. MH has served the need for wholesome erotica for more than 13 years, and I would hate to see it descend into something that can be found anywhere.
This gives me a guilt free outlet, and honestly, I need that. It affirms the desire that exists within each of us, and it makes possible the sharing of intimacy that could not be carried out in any other way.
Agreed!
I understand the yearning for that connection. But, I would not trust myself in that format. I think it is theoretically possible to find safe writing partners – but in reality, extremely difficult.
I have found a couple of people I can trust to write like this. We are in agreement about the most important things. But, in an open forum, I think it would be almost impossible.
MH has something really good and uniquely special. The anonymity is vital. Something not to be lost. Just my opinion.
LH
The anonymity here is a big blessing, and I appreciate being able to share things with this community that I couldn't share with anyone else. However, I could see the plus in having some way to chat, at least for the singles on here. There could be potential future couples interacting here already! But to honor this site's purpose, anyone interested in connecting could go to another platform, or even create a separate place for singles to converse.
LLL,
As I want to protect anonymity on MH – I also like your desire for singles.
Perhaps there is an idea that no one has yet considered that could create a way to accomplish both things.
Until that solution – I am glad for the continued anonymous nature of MH.
Perhaps verified singles could register with MH (staff need?) – and be asked to be put on a singles email list – that is made available only to verified MH singles. Or something like that.
Just an idea starter.
LH
Replying to LLL AND LH. I have actually in the past reached out to MH about something like this. I completely understand and respect the values of the site and its goals but there is a part that wishes some type of chat option did exist. Although there's things to consider…
#1 – would it be singles only? I'd say you would need 2 different systems, I find it questionable to have singles discussing sex privately with married men or women.
#2- Would the site moderate it?
#3- It needs to be purely consensual on both parties, meaning if you engage with other people, you must personally consent to it.
#4 – I like the idea of a email list, it's at least a start.
To keep expectations realistic, this was just a routine discussion post. Some of the current volunteer team was curious what the community might have to say about this topic, since the discussion hadn't come up in a while, but there is no active consideration of any kind of chat system like this. Even if we had a great plan with satisfactory moral/safety boundaries in place, none of the current team have the time, skills, resources or high enough interest to put a chat system like this high on the priority list. With that said, ideas are always welcome!
I’m mostly a lurker but I can chime in because I actually had a post about this that I’ve submitted.
I’m trepidations, but wonder if there is some value to it. Trick is moderation but I don’t know how possible that is.
One option for people is the Marriage bed and I think it does have some decent safe guards. I haven’t done that chat much (some but not much) but I know that you can report people for inappropriate conduct and then they get banned. So this at least protects people if their own boundaries are crossed. Decent way for some singles to meet others in a relatively safe environment.
Lovinghusband,
For years before finding this site, I have had a vision for a site that I would like to create. It would have the raw sex-positivity of MH, plus be focused on helping hot-wired Christian singles find each other. But, I lack the technical knowledge to do so.
Maybe some of the tech-savvy men can collaborate and start this. It's a good idea!
TurnedOn47,
What a great accomplishment that would be!
By God's design and plan – it seems – that He has made the meeting of people for marriage, to be not as formulaic as we might wish it was.
I have tried to be a conduit for people to meet – in various ways. When I've purposely tried – it has not been successful. Then, it has happened – when it was not my designed aim.
But, I still want to encourage you to think outside the box.
I just think that MH – and their amazing volunteers – who already have very busy lives – could not have the time to facilitate such a task.