Patience

Shortly after we were married, I begin learning about her hidden past. I remember the first time vividly. Pleasuring her orally was truly my only motivation. I thought she’d love it. Boy, was I clueless. After being cursed and thrown against the wall at the height of our lovemaking, I had purchased her several books on the topic of childhood sexual abuse. She was too ashamed to read them. We also had seen multiple therapists, although it had been several years ago. I tried not to take it personally. It was just confusing to me when she would suddenly yell “Stop!” forcibly pushing me away during sex. It’s like she didn’t trust me. Who was this unknown man from her childhood she would never speak of? It seemed so unfair. I had saved all of myself for this one woman, and now it’s like she didn’t want the best I had to offer. What did I do? Occasionally she would say she was angry at her parents for not protecting her from this older man. I believe it was her uncle. I grew up in a normal home. This was all foreign to me.

For years I had prayed about it, mostly complaining to God about why I had to endure what seemed so unfair. My buddies were able to do anything with their wives. Over the years my prayers had slowly morphed.   Each time I read 1st Corinthians 13, the words made more sense. True sacrificial love was more than going down on your wife. Listening to God about what my wife needed brought more peace than talking to God about what I needed. I also intentionally chose to begin masturbating less.

Then one day things began to change. She had been going to an afternoon women’s Bible group. I have no idea what they had been studying, although I know she was one of the youngest women there. For some unknown reason, she just seemed more receptive to me. I’d come home from work, and she’d greet me with a smile. No longer did she turn her cheek to me when I went to kiss her.   There had also been a box of Kleenex on the table stand next to her side of the bed for a while too. I really hadn’t given it a second thought. Long ago, I had given up on the hope of going down on her, although occasionally I would still fantasize about it in the shower.

When I walked in from the garage, music was playing. My wife was wearing my favorite jeans that show the top of her thong from the back. Today it was a simple white cotton one. She had on her loose fitting beige blouse that shows her midriff. I could see the outline of her breasts. She wasn’t wearing a bra. That was a little odd. She truly is a beautiful woman. Her hair was still slightly wet from an afternoon shower. It was all kind of unusual to me. She had started a fire in our small corner bedroom fireplace. We hadn’t used it in years. I quickly checked to make sure the damper was open.   It was. The fire had been going for a while because the wood was crackling.   Knowing that she normally doesn’t mess with fire I asked, “Did you start that?”

“Uh huh.” she said smiling slightly.   “Are you proud of me?”

I grinned back, raising my eyebrows slightly, wondering what had gotten into her. “I am.”

“You’ve had a long day darling. I’ve got your shower ready. The temperature is just how you like it. Let me help you with your belt buckle.”   I allowed her to help me slip out of my pants wondering where all this was going.

Realizing it was Tuesday I asked, “What have you been studying in your women’s group?”

“Oh you know sweetheart. The same stuff you men study in your accountability group.” At this point she was unbuttoning my shirt. I was standing in my socks and CKs. Just being together like this had me somewhat aroused. It had been awhile.

“Have you been drinking?” I asked jokingly, knowing she had quit long ago.

“No dear – just waiting for you.” She handed me a towel and washcloth, making eye contact. “Don’t take too long in there now Sweetheart. I know you can sometimes.” She grinned at me in a knowing way. “I need you this afternoon.”

I knew I was busted for masturbating a little too long and too often, but quickly showered anyway. She definitely had my attention at this point. Stepping into our bedroom, I finished drying my back with the towel she had given me. My eyes opened wide to make sure they weren’t fooling me. There she was sitting against the backboard of our bed. Her hair was disheveled in a good way – sorta trampish. You could tell I liked her new look as my erect penis betrayed any attempt to conceal my true feelings. There she was in only her thong. Her jeans and blouse were crumbled up in a pile next to the bed. That’s very unusual for her as she’s normally a tidy person. Her back was arched some as she focused all her attention on her breasts – fondling them tenderly while massaging them slowly with our favorite lotion. Her nipples were already erect from kneading them between her fingers. “Care to join me?”

“Do you even need me?” It was a stupid thing to say but it just came out in the moment.

“Oh yeah, I do.” She motioned me over, opening her legs.

Crawling over to her side of bed I attempted to mount her on top, like usual.

“Uh-uh.” She shook her index finger in front of my face.   Then slipping off her thong. I could see there was a wet spot. She pointed down to her beautiful mound she had shaved and trimmed. Her vulva truly were beautiful. My cock was rock hard at this point. She still had her moist thong in her palm.   Closing her eyes and tossing her still wet hair back in an intensely sensual way, she brought her damp thong to her nostrils, inhaling deeply. Desperately I wanted to mount her now, but stayed next to her like she commanded, not wanting to screw anything up. “Want a whiff?” she asked, offering them to me.

“Oh yeah” nodding my head quickly. In the past, I had sniffed her dirty panties, but it had been years since I had smelled her fresh cunt. She rubbed them under my nose with one hand while she lightly tickled my nuts with her other hand. They were beginning to churn. Instinctively, I tried to subtlety lick the wet spot.

“You can have the real thing.” I must have given her a puzzled look.   Closing her eyes, she opened her legs a little bit more and continued caressing her full breasts with her feminine hands.

Her cunt was so beautiful. At first I just studied it. Rarely did I get to take in her beauty like this. She then slowly but deliberately pushed my shoulders down to between her legs.   My face was about 10 inches away from her beautiful shaved lips.   Placing my hands on the sides of her thighs, I paused…   She felt incredible – so feminine.   Turning my head to the left I gently kissed her inner thigh.   She began to purrrrrr. Unwilling to look up at her eyes for fear of being rejected again, I turned my head to the right and kissed her other inner thigh. She seemed to like it.   Oh God… I know did. Deliberately I advanced up her inner thighs, slowly caressing first one, then the other. I didn’t want this to stop. All I wanted to do was to express my love for her.

“Uh-huh, morrrre… please baby” she quietly admitted to both of us.  Rotating her pelvis up some, she consciously reached down with her fingers, opening her most private parts to me. I was inches away from her gorgeous cunt.   I inhaled deeply. Uh-huh. It was that same scent as her thong, only more pungent. More woman. More her. Desperately I wanted to kiss her moist cunt. Dare I? Gently puckering my lips, I kissed once.

This was my wife. In all her womanly glory. Up close and personal. She’s incredibly alluring. Glancing up at her, her eyes were closed. Slowly I caressed her external lips. Using my tongue, I followed the groove between her outer and inner lips. Up one side, then down the other. This steady predictable rotation of my tongue tip appeared to make her feel safe. My cock wanted to bury itself inside this succulent treasure, but it had been so long since had allowed me to pleasure her in this way. With both her hands, she pulled my head closer. I got on my knees to have something to push against. She appeared to like it. I could now push a little deeper with my tongue wiggling it slowly from side to side, and gently in and out.

“Yessss baby. That’s it.” She began slowly humping my face in rhythm with my tongue thrusts. I pulled her ass close, oscillating my tongue tip on her clit. “Oh God, yessssss.”   Her words gave me permission to plunge deeply into her secret cavern. Deeeeeeeeep. I pulled her ass close and wiggled my tongue from side to side, now deep inside her sopped vault. Wanting her to feel safe, I visualized my tongue as my cock. There was no hurry. Striving to keep a rhythm – first in, then out. Repeatedly. Steadily. Over and over. I had waited so long. Sniiiiiiiiiffffff.   This was so worth it! Using my masculine grip on her ass to pull her close each time my tongue pushed, allowed me to penetrate her just a bit more. She was loving it! And so was I. “Don’t stop Baby!” She buried my face in her cunt. I’d have to catch my breath each time I retracted my tongue. Trying to hold back and keep a rhythm became challenging for both of us. “EAT ME!” she squealed. Forgetting I was here to pleasure her, I began humping the air still on my knees between her legs. In abandon, I was tasting her, sucking her, inhaling her, and eating her. My cock exploded, shooting stream after stream of pent up passion covering my chin and neck. Her legs wrapped tight around my back. Her hands held my face close. “Oh God, YESSSSSSS!” she gasped.   I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t care. Today was Eat My Wife’s Cunt! Tomorrow I’d think about breathing.

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28 replies
  1. Harper Shelby Thornton says:

    Wow, powerful! I'm so sorry about what your wife had been through and I'm sorry you bore some of the brunt of that. What you wife went though – I've been there, and my husband has been there. I've got a story that's a little bit similar to this one coming on here on Monday. I think it's important for anyone to read, man or woman. I'm so glad that it's getting better that your wife "opened up" to you, so to speak 😉 . God bless you two, dears.

    • Frank Sprandel says:

      That was really moving and gives me some much needed hope and inspiration to be patient that things will get better you see I can relate very well to this story going through it for last 25 years,all begin after our second son was born in 1992 we had been married 15 years and had one son and now the second one but something triggered her memories of the past and all the stuff started coming out and still to this day we are unable to have any real intimate tines kissing hugging yes holding hands yes but no touching no lovemaking it is very sad but real the effects of childhood sexual abuse I can testify to it I am living in the nightmare so thanks for sharing your story gives me much needed hope and faith

  2. austinm says:

    Thanks for the story. It sounds very familiar. My ex had a family friend who fondled her and exposed himself to her when she was little. For some reason, that made her unwilling to participate in a lot of different sexual acts including oral sex.

  3. PassionateForChrist says:

    I love this post! So filled with love for one another. I love how you've changed and have grown in depth and understanding through the process and I love how the beautiful change came about for you that day and what a glorious gift she was able to give you. As I read through it, I could so feel not just your excitement but the power of your love for each other. That was so beautiful! Thank you for sharing it! God bless you and your wife!!

  4. Christy says:

    I have to say that as someone who was abused, although mildly, I read your story with interest. Until you said her hair was "trampsih" any girl who has been abused would cringe at that word. We feel like that because people did things to us that are wrong and bad. Her hair was sexy wild and free, but not trampish. I think you have just ruined what might have been a good night for my sweetie and me, I feel ashamed again. Your wife, if this story is real is clinging to your every word, make them good ones.

    • Harper Shelby Thornton says:

      I have to agree with Christy here. As moving as your story is, trampish is no to be used for anyone let alone for someone who was abused. Nevertheless, I'm still glad you wrote this for us. Blessings to you both

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      Thank you Christy for weighing in! I had to look up what this word means, as I didn't know… English is not my native language… I thought it would mean something different when I read the story, but, whoa, I totally get what you (and Mrs. Harper) mean now that I know what the word really means. I'm sorry that it impacted you in such a way. You are an amazing woman – courageous and strong. I pray that shame would leave you alone and never weigh you down again because I'm certain that you are someone way lovely and supremely beautiful in heart, mind, body and spirit. God bless you Christy!

    • CMLove says:

      Beautiful post, ServantLeader! Thank you so much for sharing. As one who has been abused, the patience you showed with your wife is so valuable and so appreciated. My husband was also patient and continues to be patient with me. Along with having great sex, that patience also leads us to trust you men with our whole heart and body and it is such a precious thing. Also, I applaud your wife for making steps toward complete vulnerability with you! May God continue to bless you both as you follow Him!

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      Hey CMLove 🙂 I haven't seen you in a long time – so happy to see you again! Hope everything is going well for you! Much love! God bless you, dear!

    • Anonymous says:

      Hello my dear friend! It has been a while, I am so glad ti be back (hopefully more regularly) I have missed this MH family! We moved to another state and found out we're gonna have another baby and our oldest is going into kindergarten =O so a lot of busyness! God is continuing to be so loving and gracious and constantly calling us back to Him. I hope all is well with You! I miss you!

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      I've missed you too! I've been thinking about you here and there, wondering how you'd be doing and hoping you're going strong, and I'm just so happy to have you back with us and hearing you're going strong with God and experiencing His faithfulness and His great love for you! 🙂 Congrats on the baby that's on the way!

      I have come to know an American Christian man in my eH online matchmaking quest that I have great affection for in my heart. The messages we exchanged were very enjoyable to me – he has been respectful and approachable and kind thus far – and I love his heart. I like him a lot. As for me, I would love for him to be in relationship with me and hopefully build something meaningful and lasting together. I realize that I'm obviously someone who is fairly quick to have my heart set on him when there is certainly much I don't know yet about him but I have spent much time thinking about it and I draw my courage from and have my confidence in God about it all.

      A few weeks ago, I have asked him if he would be open to come meet me in TX when I'd visit my church home anew, and he said that that should be possible, which made yours truly mega happy (he is currently on the West Coast). I have always talked to him pretty openly from my heart, including my feelings (making sure that whatever I'd say, I would mean it and could always stand by it). He is a bit older than I am, which I like 'cause the younger ones (my age or younger) just have proven to me to have trouble communicating, openly and maturely as I would need it and as I myself do. I mean, I know what I seek, and God has worked a great deal on me over the last years to produce in me the courage and boldness necessary to step out in faith to seek and by His grace eventually find it… God worked hard on me, so I'm past the age of beating around the bush in communication… once I know I like someone, it won't take too long for me by now to tell them then… and then comes the torturous waiting and hoping for the replies while I seek to build, with the one I like, together.

      After knowing that he would be open to come and meet me, I have shared with him when I'd plan to be back in TX, so he would know the timetable, and all we could do there – I have made sure that he knows that it's all open for discussion (I don't wanna be authoritative or so) but I was very excited and I have shared with him about my excitement. Since I did, I haven't heard back from him… which put me back on my old problem of having to deal with utter silence when all I yearn for is just a simple reply. I have dared to fill the silence by reaching out to him further, letting him know that, as for me, I would love to be in relationship with him, that he should please let me know right away if I'm setting my heart on something that he wouldn't be interested in because I won't engage in other matches I'm given for as long as I've set my heart on him and the possibility of us flowing into a committed relationship… I'm always making sure he knows that I don't wanna force anything upon him, giving him always a way out while being open and transparent about how I see him and feel about him… I just wanna make sure that whatever decision he makes, he makes it out of his own heart and desire. I don't know if I'm intimidating to him (or guys in general) or what else may be the reason, but I still haven't heard back from him – I know though that he received the messages. I have prayed to God like crazy about it all these past days and weeks. I am about to send him another message with what my heart wants him to know right now, so I'd be certainly grateful if my MH fam would keep me in prayer and at heart. I just pray that God would draw his heart to reply back soon, that the guy would not leave me for much longer in this silent waiting mode of not knowing whether it'd be yes or no, whether I could dream on or am totally off track believing for a relationship with him. As for me, I sure hope that it would be yes. 🙂

    • Anonymous says:

      Im So glad to hear back from you, PfC! And I agree, sometimes the older men have grown up a lot more than the ones that are our age. Haha. Thank you for telling us all about what's going on with the man you have been talking with! I will keep you in my prayers! I am so glad God has all things under control and that we can trust His heart, especially if all else seems confusing! You got this, girl! Stay strong, God has big plans for you! Xoxo

    • Alex.R says:

      @PassionateForChrist

      I can tell you're a very loving and devout girl.
      You're special in so many ways, and I hope you understand G-d wants what's best for you. He's saving the best for you.

      You might say "I want to be with him" but the answer will probably be "no"

      That's how much of life is; we don't get what we want…..we get something better.
      I doubt you'll hear from him again; I hope he doesn't have the audacity to waste more of your time. Usually in times like this they are too cowardly to say "I can't do it."

      A man who cares will make the time regardless. A real man will ensure you know that he loves you and will always care for you.

      G-d hears all those pleas and prayers; don't feel sad.
      Be excited that the next guy will be more more handsome, loving, and devout…..

    • Alex.R says:

      PS: I completely agree about the torturous waiting, the games, and the indirectness.

      I'm much more direct now; there's no reason for 2 people to beat around the bush if they really want to be in a commitment.
      A real man can have the courage to say "you're beautiful."

      {You're beautiful, PassionateForChrist 🙂 }

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      Wow, Alex.R, that was incredibly sweet of you! Thank you for having shared all that with me, for being so considerate, loving and open towards me! Thank you for having called me beautiful! How could I possibly express how blessed you've just made me feel – you've beautifully amazed me here and the smile to be found on my face right now, it belongs completely to you.

      Yes, I do understand that God only wants what's best for me and actually just seeks to protect me when He closes a door or keeps a door closed. Sometimes I have a hard time accepting it right away, keeping my hope and joy up and running through the closed doors, but despite it all I am certainly deeply grateful that God doesn't give me what I ask for when what I ask for is not in His will for me, when what I ask for would actually derail me from His purpose or would cause harm that I simply cannot foresee. I am grateful that God protects me beyond my ability to ever grasp it.

      Whichever way I'm gonna say this now, it will probably sound quite a bit funny but… You've dished that "no" to me in the sweetest way ever – seriously. I mean, I've braced for impact since the silence got long enough to be counted in weeks but, boy, I doubt that the guy could have found a way to tell me a "no" in such a caring and kind way as you just did – you've served it with utmost loving kindness… and I wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart for it. You made me feel so loved and have called out the value God has bestowed upon me – even if the guy would choose to remain silent for good, now it wouldn't crush my heart anymore, it wouldn’t hurt me anymore.

      Alex, you are someone truly special in my eyes! You've got a boldness, an honesty and a genuineness about you that stands out. Thank you for being such a real man and for being tender at heart! I wish you would be among my matches. You are someone I would love to get to know. If there would only be a way…

      Would you want to? I may be able to make it work with the gracious help of the admins. Sometimes I'm not too well-versed at catching the difference between simple kindness or kindness out of a potential romantic interest, so just let me know if you'd be interested or not and I'll see what I can do. 🙂

      Whichever kindness was at the source of the love you showered me with here, once again, dear Alex, thank you!!! You've absolutely made my day! God bless you!!

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      @Alex.R

      I'm sorry if I shocked you with my offer – I didn't mean to shock in any way… I guess I can be someone quite a bit out of the box… I often choose to see opportunity for God to show Himself mighty when something I didn't expect happens. Your reply was a blessed surprise to me and by default I then just tend to make myself available to whatever God may be up to (or not) – of course, not at all knowing what exactly He is up to, just counting on the hope we all get to have through Christ that it must be good. I have walked close enough with God to know that He can do anything and that His ways are often out of the box, so I personally have no doubt that He is well-able to provide even through MH the spouse He has me seeking (if it would be in His will to be this way). His ways are higher than any of ours, so I try to not discount any opportunity that comes alongside a tangible touch of God. I know there are some who misuse MH for personal gratification alone, with unwholesome motives at times, but I know, from what you've shared here with me and how you've shared it, that you're not one of those – you have a heart for God, you cherish commitment in relationship, you have an understanding about what MH truly stands for and seeks to foster, you understand the heart of MH. I realize it must appear crazy to even dare to offer the step because we don't know anything about each other – all the basics, the superficialities (the age, looks, ethnicity, location, status,…) – but in your reply I've seen something far more important than any of that: a glimpse of your heart – I see the courage it must have taken to even reply to me this way; the compassion it took to wanna save me from the pain of choosing to hold too long when it was plain to see I was unfortunately holding on to but my own dream; the maturity, respect and heartfelt care it took to tell me what would have been the guy's responsibility to tell me; the tenderness it took to throw in a compliment or two and make me feel loved… you cared to go the extra mile for me – this is what I see in your reply… this is what heralds something special about you. I don't know how long you've been a part of MH… maybe you were able to follow my steps on here through time and were able to catch a glimpse of my heart and soul for yourself already. The heart of any relationship will be about the hearts of the people involved – the hearts, not any of the basics, truly determine the depth and quality of any and all relationship. These were the reasons that moved me to open up the offer. In no way should you feel compelled to do anything – I just wished to let you know, so you could understand better the why behind the what. I'm sorry if I shocked you with it. Thank you for having stepped on the scene to save me from further pain and for having blessed me! Thank you for having been a vessel of God's love in that moment! May God bless you in your walk with Him and give you the desires of your heart!

    • Alex_R\ says:

      They've blocked about 3 of my responses to you Passionate.
      Sex stories filled with semen and breasts are ok, but my factual statements about the site are not, apparently

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      Hi Alex, Thank you for your loving perseverance, for being still here with me! I so appreciate your attitude towards me – how you are someone that can be counted on. I want you to know that I'm working on it. I would regret it if I wouldn't be able to get to know you and your heart further. You should hear about the way I've made available any moment from now… Just wished to let you know this. Thank you for being a man true to your word thus far! That means a lot to me. Hopefully I'll hear from you when that way will have reached you. Love and blessings, PfC (Julia) 🙂

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      I can see someone being as excited as I am about the possibility ? Well, actually, the story of us is already beginning to unfold… It started as you entered my life. We don't really need to make a story about us 'cause God has it all already in the making if it's in His will… He has already written every day of our story in His Book of Life and, if it's in His will, He will make it flow together perfectly all in His timing and give us favor with each other.

      I believe we are on the same page on the following but nonetheless I wanna state it clearly here in the beginning just to be sure: I am not a girl for just a moment or a season. I am a girl who seeks to have and build a lasting, meaningful and God-centered committed relationship with the one love of my life (marriage – which will give us infinite, richly blessed and abundant stories to make and cherish and give glory to God through). Our hearts are treasures – out of them flows our very life – they can get hurt when they would be just played with. I know and believe from what you and I shared thus far that we both have no desire to play with each other in such a way.

      Alex, you have me surely excited to discover who you are, the man God made you to be, and I give you my trust. Whatever you do, just be true to you and honest with me – everything will flow from there. No pressure, dear, just talk to me straight from the heart. I believe, by now, you have received the way through which you can reach me… So, if you are still on the same page with me, let's get the communication started ? Like Kathleen Kelly in "You've Got Mail", I'm eagerly awaiting to receive your first one. If you wonder what you could write in it for starters… you can share a bit about yourself to break the ice and I'd love to know about your relationship with God and your vision and understanding of marriage. ?

  5. Lovinghusband says:

    Prayed for you Passionate! LIke I always tell you – be yourself in Christ. I hope he lets you know what he is thinking either way. Much love from your MH family. LH

    • PassionateForChrist says:

      Thank you so much LH and CMLove!! Your support and encouragement strengthens my heart and is so cherished and appreciated.

      Exactly, LH. Staying true to myself though under a bit of uncomfortable pressure due to my yearning of wanting to know but having to wait is one thing I'm happy to see in mysef through all this waiting. At some points, the longer the wait, I fall into a little momentary pit of discouragement, then I wrestle it out in my mind between my heart and soul and God – reminding myself of His goodness, His love for me, Him having my best interest at heart, Him being in complete control (thankfully!), Him being faithful through it all, and I think about the guy, about our messages, and check if my heart is right about him, if I'm operating out of wrong motives or any such thing and I give myself in God's gracious care afresh and anew… I wrestle it out within myself and come to the point where I know in my heart what I would love for him to know in addition to what I've already let him know – and I'm glad that God has me thus far, that I dare to speak what my heart wants to share in spite of not having heard back from him in the meantime, that I dare to step out even further, showing him what's in my heart for him and encouraging him to let me know what's in his (relying on God while doing it) in spite of the temporary lack of feedback from him. I'm happy to see that I don't bend out of shape, don't seek to change who I am in this pursuit but stay anchored to God, who is faithful to spark new encouragement in me just when I need it and keeps me going. 🙂

      LH, your steady, wise counsel and presence is a precious treasure to have here on MH. Thank you for the love!!

      CMLove, your hearty voice of encouragement and love has surely been missed while you were away. You're so sweet and awesome!

      Much love right back to my MH family! God bless y'all!!

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