Ok men, let’s get real . . .

My previous posts have had much to say about sex and sexuality.  This one will do the same, but it will do so in a quite different way.  I want to write or speak to the men, married or single.  There is so much more to the marriage relationship than A-B-C, 1-2-3.  Your wife or wife-to-be is like a diamond, pure gold, the egg of a rare bird, or anything else that needs special care–your limited edition golf clubs, that exclusive camera, that old vintage car, or even your custom built firearm.  Think about that precious piece of wood, metal, and composite; how do you care for it?  You clean it and store it properly.  You don’t allow someone that does not appreciate that classic vehicle to touch it much less drive it.  When you do take out your valuable “thing” you bring it home and make sure it is intact just like it was when you left.  You carefully clean it and hide it away again.  You don’t let the kids play with it.  You don’t let weather, rust, and other destructive elements attack you precious “thing.”

Now men, do you see your wife the same way or for the most part take her for granted.  Or, perhaps you think, “I married her and I provide for her and the children, and I make a good living for all of us.  What more can I do?”  I’m just curious here guys.  Do you see the difference in your attitude toward your wife, a gift from God?  YEP, you didn’t find her, God did the work, you received the benefit, and you should back up and tell the God that loves you thank you for bringing the two of you together.  If you cherish, love, brag about, care for, and protect your valuable “thing”, shouldn’t your wife, a gift from God, be cared for and loved at least as much as your precious toy? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . NO!  She should be treated a thousand times better–respect, sacrificial love, unselfish provision, and everything the Bible tells us to do.

If you want the best your wife has to offer in the bedroom and with her whole being, then you need to see her as God’s gift and start today humbly thanking your Heavenly Father for giving you the honor of caring for HIS daughter.  By the way, this is just the first step.  We all know that we men love a challenge, so I am offering you one of the greatest, most rewarding challenges you will ever face.  To receive and accept this gift from God and learn how He has planned for you to love His gift to you, how to care for her, how to meet her needs, and the greatest challenge of all–how to understand her; you must study the instructions in the Bible and study your wife.  1 Peter 3:7 says rather clearly, “Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (ESV)

Let us begin at the end of the verse and work toward the beginning.  Do you pray to God the Father and hope for an answer?  Hmmmm, you may be a bit uncomfortable with the question, but if you hope to find or receive all that God has for you this side of heaven, you better; and you better understand God’s expectations for answered prayer. One of those is found in this verse, treat your wife well and with honor and understanding.  An aspect of this verse that is not often mentioned, “that your prayers may not be hindered.”  Perhaps a better way to state it is, that you would have no problem stating your prayers.  It is possible that the problem will not be with God but with you and I.   I bet some of you are thinking, “God hears all our prayers.”  Yes but does He answer them in an affirmative way, or perhaps you never know if God answers your prayers.  If you would like to know that God hears and even responds to your prayers, I suggest that you take 1 Peter 3:7 seriously.  No, I do not mean this is the only way you can be sure God hears and is willing to respond to your prayers.  This is just one of the areas of obedience that God sets out in the Bible.

Now back to the point at hand, treating your wife as though you could never live without her as a part of your life.  Seeing her as the incredible gift from God she truly is.  So, you have a hobby or a sports activity that you love with the clothing and necessary accouterments.  It may be that the extras of your hobby or activity need special attention after use.  I get that; I have activities that require I care for my clothes and the instruments of my highly enjoyed activity.  It takes a wash load twice a week for one of my sports activities; it takes 30-60 mins. to clean and put my goodies away after my other hobby.  No, I don’t mind this work after the fact because I enjoy each activity so much.  So, I repeat my earlier question.  Do you care for your wife the way you do your hobby or loved activity???

If no, why not?  First Peter 3:7 tells us to do this very thing, to live with our wives with understanding, as though she is weaker and needs extra care and protection.  I know it is easy to let other things rise in importance in our lives guys; we need these things to help affirm our manhood, our masculinity.  That is okay as long as we do not allow them to displace our wife.  Do not allow anything to replace or displace your wife as second only to Jesus Christ in your life.

As stated above, If you want the best your wife has to offer in the bedroom and with her whole being, then you need to see her as God’s gift and start today humbly thanking your Heavenly Father for giving you the honor of caring for HIS daughter.  You need to care for her, protect her, meet her needs, and hold her in very high esteem.

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6 replies
  1. LoveHer
    LoveHer says:

    Excellent! This post perfectly encapsulates the Godly love traits of 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. Daily I must ask God to open my eyes in every way possible to love others, and most importantly my wife, in a way that exudes these Godly love traits. While my broken flesh will never permit me to perfectly love in these ways this side of heaven, allowing the Holy Spirit to open my eyes and my heart to love in a more Godly fashion not only brings my bride and and I closer together, but more importantly glorifies God in the process. Thanks for this post!

  2. Lovinghusband
    Lovinghusband says:

    Thank you for writing this. I am grateful for my wife – and need to keep cultivating that. LH

  3. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    While your points are certainly valid, it works both ways. The modern feminist movement has to bear some of the responsibility for the behavior of today's men. It has helped to create and establish an overall disdain and disrespect for manhood and men which in turn, contributed to mens' resulting behavior. Dr. Laura Schlessinger was interviewed by Dr. James Dobson on the Focus on the Family broadcast after her book, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" was released. He asked what kind of response and feedback the book had generated. She replied that while she knew the problem the book addressed was real and legitimate, the avalanche of mail revealed that it was worse than she had previously realized. Thousands of hurting, demoralized men wrote to express their searing pain and subdued anger at the shabby and exploiting treatment they endured from their wives. This was not limited to the 'un-churched' arena either. As men, they were viewed as something nothing more than very ordinary at best and an enemy to be conquered at worst.

    I will concur that a couple of generations ago, women were not often given the appreciation they so richly deserved. Now, however, the pendulum has swung too far the other way and women are not taught to value and respect men in particular or even manhood in general. Feminism has convinced our women that when a man says he wants respect, all that really means is he wants to be worshiped and waited on hand and foot. Women have been taught that to show any deference to a man is tantamount to becoming his slave.

    We all know the famous passage from Proverbs 31, beginning in verse 10 about the 'excellent wife'. However, nobody draws attention to verse 1 where we see that the king was taught this by his mother. The mother taught her son what he should look for in an excellent wife. This shows us the value and the need of opposite-sex instruction. If a young lady wants to know what an excellent husband should be, she should learn it from her father both in teaching and, more importantly, by example.

    Gentlemen, as our daughters are watching how we talk to and treat our wives, they are equally watching our wives talk to and treat us. As Solomon's mother taught him what to expect from, and how to treat a woman, we should teach our daughters what to expect from, and how to treat men. If we leave that strictly to modern feminism, we'll wind up with a generation of hurting, angry men who don't treat women as they should.

  4. Frustrated thAt men get the blame
    Frustrated thAt men get the blame says:

    Man as much as I can appreciate the sentiment here and agree that you should cherish your wife, I have to agree with anonymous. I look at many of the marriages around me and I she wives that run the house from how they treat the husband to the bedroom. It reads just like scripture of that the woman will desire the be the head of the man. I honestly feel many times my wife simply views this as a chore to meet my needs once a week, yet the expectation is to meet hers everyday so that she can be emotionally fulfilled to come around once a week.

  5. sswriters
    sswriters says:

    I posted the 3rd response which stated that "it works both ways". I thought that my group member name would automatically be shown since I was logged in when I wrote it. For the record, I am sswriters so if you want to contact me directly, you can.

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