Prostate Massage Advice Needed

So we have not been into much anal play, just occasional fingering. He’s not really very interested in trying this new avenue. But after reading all these stories and articles on prostate orgasm, I've changed my mind. Because of the pleasure and the health benefits I would like to be able to please him on a different level. Lord knows he pleases me in sooo many ways!

Has anyone ever used the prostate cradle for external prostate massage? If so, did you like it? I thought this might be the next step to ease into this idea?

Have any of you wives out there learned how to do external prostate massage for your man and how did that go? How did you learn?

Then there are the Aneros prostate massagers. How do those compare to the vibrating toys?

What about the vibrating prostate massagers like Lelo Loki? These are very expensive when I’m not sure he will like it.

What about a b-vibe rimming butt plug? Will it stimulate the prostate any? Also expensive for something not sure he’s into? This is a toy we could both use.

I'm curious about what is best for beginners? How to introduce the idea? How do most of you guys feel about this type of play? I see lots of positive comments on other stories. Any guys with negative comments?

4.00 avg. rating (79% score) - 8 votes
19 replies
  1. Slinger says:

    Most men that have tried it, really enjoy it. Hubby and I have been into anal play for quite awhile and it’s a surefire way to make him cum hard and fast! When we first started experimenting, we only used fingers. Then we bought a very slim prostate vibe and a good (unflavored!) lube. It was in our closet for awhile but the night we tried it, I took control (which drives him crazy) and got him incredibly turned on then used the lube to finger his ass before introducing the toy

  2. Ben G. says:

    I currently use the Adam and Eve P- Spot vibrating prostate massager and enjoy it. My wife Gina and I both enjoy anal play. I feel alot of guys feel self conscious about admitting they enjoy anal play for obvious reasons. Some feel it would take away from their manhood and granted it probably isn't for everyone. Discuss it openly and honestly with your husband is the main thing. Ease into it by using your finger first and let him experience being penetrated if he hasn't been before. Be sure to use plenty of lubricant! If he simply isn't into it, then respect his decision and move on. Hope this helps a little. God bless!

  3. SecondMarge says:

    I’ve been told that as men age they are more responsive to prostate stimulation. But I have not taken a survey.
    My husband likes massage in that area. I have just begun to let him touch me there, but I don’t have a prostate. We talked about him penetrating me analy and my smart ass answer was how would you like that and he said he thought he would like it. We have not purchased a toy for that purpose but I think we might eventually.
    We are slow to try new things, but it does seem like it has potential because it helps him maintain his erection and orgasm more powerfully when I rub him there while giving him a hand job.
    I too am anxious to read others experiences.

    • Hott4you says:

      Secondmarge, have you tried licking his ass hole? Be sure you are both clean. And there is a way for a man to shave butt hair. Probably he will need your help.
      It may sound weird but I love it ..give and receive because it seems so taboo

  4. MaxLoving says:

    I tried a prostate massager once. I got a little feeling from it, but not much. That was several years ago. I've tried off and on, but never got much out of it. A lot depends on the person as to how much pleasure they will get out of it. If it gives either of you more pleasure, I'd say go for it. Otherwise, I can do without it myself. Just my experience.

  5. HeSaid-SheSaid says:

    I have the Aneros and oddly enough my wife does not want to know if and when I use it, I guess it kinda weirds her out, so I occasionally use it for solo times. I do like it though, it provides a bigger and different bang so to speak, but it takes some getting use to. It certainly feels different and when I orgasm the contractions seem to be faster and go on for longer. Lots of lube is key. If it vibrated, I think that would be a great addition.
    My wife often does some external prostate massage and when she does I'm putty in her hands. Once in a while she will finger my back door, no penetration really, but it feels great.
    I don't know if I can do a description justice but normal orgasms generally feel warm or radiating, but with the Aneros an orgasm feels sharp and electric and to the point, so I guess thats the prostrate responding to very direct stimulus.

  6. ArtRutherford says:

    I use a vibrating butt plug. Plenty of lube. It also vibrates on my perineum. I love it. Wife though, is not into anal at all. She's had too much science.

  7. HeSaid-SheSaid says:

    One more thing I forgot to mention about using the Aneros. Sometimes I will put it in and go do other things around the house before sexy time. My movements will provide stimulus to the prostate, but I may not have an erection at the time. Yet my penis will still leak precum. I've only ever had precum from being highly aroused and having a woody, but having the Aneros in gets the fluids flowing.

    • Tangosierra says:

      I use the Aneros as well. It makes my orgasms so much stronger. My wife and I had a mutual masturbation session last week, and I used that. I don't think I've used it with her before this week, so it was another new experience. Love love love anal play though!

  8. D&D says:

    I enjoy anal and prostate play. My wife is beginning to help me but feels uncomfortable with it. I like a metal curved G-spot toy for prostate massage. I also have a Aneros I put in with love making. Sometimes she will go down on me and play with it.

  9. PatientPassion says:

    I can't speak to the variety of toys you brought up, but I'll add my voice as a man who highly enjoys anal play and prostate stimulation.

    External massage doesn't do much for me, but there are multiple reasons why that may be, and it's certainly not something I have a negative view of. Internal stimulation is much better for me. I've not been able to orgasm, or really come close at all just from anal and prostate stimulation, but it gets the juices flowing more than usual and intensifies orgasm if I add enough separate stimulation to get there. It also provides a kind of mental stimulation that nothing else does for me, which is a big reason why I enjoy it.

    My advice for beginners would be to keep an open mind, address any fears through research, and try it! I wrote a basic primer article here on MH titled "Anal Play in Christian Marriage" in the Anal Play section. [ https://marriageheat.com/2018/06/15/anal-play-in-christian-marriage/ ] That's a good place to start and will give you an idea of what's involved. It talks more about anal play than prostate stimulation specifically, but if you learn good anal etiquette you'll be 80% of the way to good prostate play. Anal play is MUCH less weird and scary when you learn what's involved and how things work! I'd also suggest you start with relatively inexpensive, basic toys so you don't spend a lot of money on things you aren't sure if you'll like. As I mention in the article, I started with a 3-piece set of glass butt plugs of various sizes, plus a slightly larger glass plug with two bulbs, which I got for a combined $40. They're solid, safe, cheap, easy to clean, and offer some variety, so they're a great place to start in my opinion. I'd use those to play around, figure out what's enjoyable, then search for another toy that's specialized for your favorite kind of stimulation.

    Direct your husband to this thread and have him read our comments. There are lots of guys who enjoy that kind of stimulation, and he should know it's not unusual or weird! Maybe this kind of play isn't for him, but if he doesn't give it a good try, he'll never know. I'm certainly glad I tried!

    • SecondMarge says:

      You enjoy something inserted in you even if it isn’t moving or vibrating? I thought it had to simulate actual penetration. Sorry for my ignorance.

    • PatientPassion says:

      No worries, I'm always happy to answer questions!

      I do enjoy having something inserted even if it isn't moving or vibrating. I enjoy the stretch and the feeling of fullness and pressure, regardless of whether or not any movement accompanies it. With that said, I do enjoy it more with some movement, which I generate either by moving the toy with my hand, or by flexing and relaxing my pelvic floor muscles and others in that area (I don't know as much as I should about the muscular anatomy around there). The second method also makes it feel tighter in a good way. I can get a broader variety of motions manually, but there's also something mentally stimulating about being able to make it move a little bit hands-free.

      For me at least, the toy doesn't have to "simulate penetration" by moving in and out for it to be enjoyable, although I do enjoy that kind of movement too. I haven't tried any vibrating toys, so I can't speak to that.

      I'm happy to say more if you have any other questions!

  10. Southernheat says:

    Second Marge, the Aneros products do not vibrate; they are inserted and you move them to put pressure on the prostate is my understanding. I think this brand was one that doctors recommend. Am I correct on that?

  11. Old Lover says:

    My Anne is expert at light to intense external prostate massage. She brings me to incredible orgasms (good for my aged prostate (: ) through deep perineum massage. Alternatively she skillfully presses the heel(s) of her hands against my abdomen just above my pubic bone and kneads my prostate as I stroke myself to an orgasm. She loves to massage my prostate and gets off on my getting off!

    • SecondMarge says:

      We do very similar where I massage the area as he strokes himself. Sometimes I stimulate his nipple with my other hand or tongue. He either has a strong climax if he gets too excited or we quickly move to penetration if he keeps his erection long enough to enter me and fill me with his precious fluid.

  12. Old Lover says:

    SecondMarge, my Anne knows the perfect timing to stimulate my nipples with her soft lips, wet tongue, sucking, and nibbling to break me to an ecstatic orgasm as she massages my prostate. Years of experience and comfortable intimacy are the perfecters of great love making.

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