Questions about “Phone Sex”

I’m sure most of us on this site are quite knowledgeable about “phone sex.” But what about “secretive” phone sex?

In the past, my partner and I have unintentionally “participated” in “phone sex” when one of us answered the phone while we were engaging in sex. The person we were talking to on the phone had NO idea what was going on, whether intercourse or receiving oral sex.

Has anyone here actually initiated a phone call during the act of sex without the friend being aware of what was going on? Or has anyone actually admitted to that friend what was happening while they were talking?

Would it be wrong for two couples to engage in a “conference call” on speaker phone while having sex with their partners? Hearing each other describing what their partner is doing to them, along with their sounds of pleasure, would be exciting! The couples could also make suggestions, talking directly with each other.

Any thoughts?

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18 replies
  1. Waiting Hardly says:

    A couple of thoughts came to mind. Are we talking about simple audio phone calls or calls in services like FaceTime or other video calling platforms? I could perhaps see couples mentoring another couple that needs help in this area that way.
    Also, since the marital act is pure and holy, if two couples shared advice and also found that enhanced the pleasure they experienced with their own spouse, then I'd say go ahead. Much less problematic than couples having sex in the same room (although I’m probably in the minority on this).

  2. AlwaysReady says:

    I'm not gonna weigh in on the "right or wrong' question because I'm not sure I can give a definitive answer, and I'm not sure its the same for every couple or even the couple that they may call. That being said, I'll weigh in on the other questions. We've never initiated a phone call for the purpose of talking during sex, or it being a part of sex, I have traded texts (not explicit) while engaged in sex related acts and answered the phone while doing the same. I can see the allure though.

  3. hornyGG says:

    Hearing another couple have sex is always so erotic. I think what you are describing would be really hot, however the temptation to " swap partners " and the like would definitely be an issue. Maybe using speaker phone instead of direct communication between couples would be acceptable. That way you could hear the other couple's moans of passion and pillow talk and they hear you and your spouse screwing. I think I would be more open to that than direct communication. I don't think Ben would be as open to it though, except maybe in a fantasy only aspect between he and I. Example being a fictional story written about such an event by either he or myself. But the idea is definitely a turn on!
    Thanks for posting! Stay horny always!
    ❤❤ GG

  4. Smile58 says:

    To me this is a time for only you & your partner. To share this intimate time isn’t necessary. Turn your phone off or ignore a call & focus on each other.

  5. Keystone Jack says:

    This is a fascinating topic to me. This is a little bit of what we're doing here on this web site. I've often wondered why the topic of sex needs to be so taboo. Most of us have friends who are so close that we tell them "everything"…except about sex. I've often wished it was "OK" to talk details with one or two friends or with our couple friends about the details. Get help. Get advice. Share experience. My wife has jokingly said, "I don't care who pumps up the tires as long as I get to ride the bike." That, in my mind, would be a part of it. Sharing details would, in most cases, promote arousal.
    From what I can find, the Bible's main word on it is to Keep the marriage bed pure. That leaves a lot open to interpretation to me. Each person or couple is going to have a little bit of variety in what they consider keeping it pure. For some, it is missionary position with the lights off. For others it's anything short of a third (4th, 5th…) person in the bed.
    In my experience and in my reading of Biblical history, spiritual leaders tend toward legalism. Legalists tend to draw man-made boundaries around God's boundaries in order to keep the sheep at a safe distance. For example, the Sabbath. God's intent was for the Sabbath to be a gift. It was a day where you didn't have to do anything. It was also an exercise in faith. He showed that if you were faithful to rest one day a week He would bless your productivity beyond what you could accomplish with a seventh day of work. The spiritual leaders put boundaries around that. They made up details of what you could carry and how far, how much you could lift, etc.
    Obviously, if you're reading this you are at least somewhat comfortable with experiencing intimate details about someone else's sexual experiences. So the question above is seems to be "Where is that line?" What is the difference between describing your sexual pleasure after the fact in computer generated text versus telling someone vocally as it happens?
    I'm not offering answers…only a few opinions that lead to more questions. I look forward to the response of others in this community.

  6. MarriedtoaHotBabe says:

    As kinky as my wife and I can be together, I don't think this is an area where we'd go. That said, she is an MD and is on call a good bit and there have been times during sex when she got a text or call and had to take it. In those instances, whatever we were doing stops immediately so she can focus on the call or text (every so often the call is for her to come into work, in which case there is no continuation of the deed until she gets back home and usually that's after I'm asleep). So I just don't think we'd ever do this and I'm not sure we'd feel right about.

    To Waiting Hardly's comment, there have been some instances where we talked sex with other couples with whom we're friends, sharing tips, tricks and sometimes advice. For example, one of my wife's friends wants to swallow for her husband but can't. My wife has counseled her on this for a few months now, using her own first-hand experience (which is to say her friend knows my wife swallows). We also know some of our friends' favorite positions and they know ours. Every so often, if we're with other couples, discussion may turn graphic if we're playing a sex trivia game (which we sometimes do). In other words, we've traded notes. But that is very different from what's in the original post.

  7. Beezie19j says:

    I have eaten my wife out while she was on the phone with a friend. She didn’t give any indication that it was happening so our friend has never known. It’s a fun secret we keep between us.

  8. Tangosierra says:

    One time we were in the middle of sex in the afternoon. A friend of my wife had called. I was close, and told her not to answer it. She said she had to, so I told her I wasn't stopping if she did. She answered it, and I kept going and came. I couldn't have cared less if this friend heard anything. I couldn't stand her, sooo 🤷🏼‍♂️

  9. 1blessedman says:

    God created Adam and Eve without clothing. Their shame was not their nakedness, it was their transgression. Adam and Eve decided to define good and evil. They decided to make the rules for living. They usurped God’s authority. And then they wore their new clothes daily as a reminder of their foolishness and inability to set righteous rules for living. Have you ever noticed that Adam and Eve chose leaves to cover themselves? Well, those leaves were just going to dry and shrink and expose them once again. Not very intelligent! Then it took many years until we see Samuel tell Saul that to obey is better than sacrifice after Saul decided to set his own rules for making the sacrifice prior to going out for battle. Thomas set the rules for how he would believe that Jesus had risen. Man has frequently created rules for how the game of life will be played and each time God allows such and shows man how He can work all things to His glory. God allows alcohol consumption but warns us to not become drunk. I see great latitude in our sex lives while we are careful that we do not sin. Paul said that where there is no specific teaching but if you believe something is a sin, then it is a sin. There again our living by our perceived rules. So for those who do not have enough specificity to know precisely the razor edges of sexual behavior boundaries, it is right for you to refrain with a wide margin. I am against porn but I gravitate to the option of the sharing of sexual lives in a variety of ways. The question each must ask is, “How much sexual latitude can I drink before I become drunk with sin?” Alcohol is not the problem. That is God’s science in liquid form. It is the sin that is the problem. God’s creation, whereby nakedness was a part, was declared by God to be very good. Sex was created by God specifically for His creation to enjoy. At what stage in our/your sexual latitude do you begin to covet/lust after what is not yours?

    • Keystone Jack says:

      Some excellent points. I've heard many times the concept from Paul's teaching that it is a sin to you if it is a sin to you. That fits nicely with the judge not statements. There are so many areas in our lives that the Bible leaves out the details of right & wrong. That's where the Spirit comes in. As I mentioned in my earlier comment, some feel a pure marriage bed is missionary position with the lights off where others feel it is keeping that 3rd person out of the bed. There are many levels in between that seem to be very individual.
      What gets real interesting is the difference between my perception and my wife's…

    • Waiting Hardly says:

      Your comment reminded me of Titus 1:15:
      All is pure to those who are pure. But to those who are corrupt and unbelieving, nothing is pure, but both their minds and consciences are corrupted.
      Surely the same unchanging God, who commanded Isaiah to go naked and barefoot for 3 years does not object to people going without clothing. As you rightfully stated, God determines what is sinful, not us. And He said it was very good.

  10. Satin King says:

    Our only “phone sex” happened one morning as we were both getting ready for work. This was before the days of cell phones when you had to go to where the phone was! My wife had started dressing but was not finished. She had on a cute floral pattern bra and panties set trimmed with lace, but nothing else when the phone rang and I was drying off after a shower. She went to the kitchen to answer the phone and I slipped on a pair of boxers and followed. It was her best friend and they were chatting away as she leaned against the door frame between the kitchen and living room. I decided to just watch so I sat down in a chair across the room Her panties were showing a nice crease where her lower lips were pouting out and my eyes were glued to them… my boxers were jutting out too! She noticed my gaze and while keeping up her end of the conversation, she began teasing me, twirling her hair coyly and pinching her nipples till the stood at attention for me. I started stroking my cock and she smiled and nodded her approval adding appropriate “uh huhs” as her friend chatted on. I found it very erotic to jack off in front of her while she giggled with her unsuspecting girlfriend. Not wanting me to make a mess in the living room chair, she wriggled out of her panties and tossed them over to me. I eagerly pumped my load into them while she watched lightly stroking her wet clit. She finally finished her call and hurried back to bed spreading her legs for me to I go down on her as she masturbated to a very nice double orgasm. Thank you Mr. Bell.

  11. SecondMarge says:

    There is nothing wrong with hearing another couple have sex. Or having them hear you. Not even see each other. In fact historically we know that was common as people shared dwellings and slept in the same room often around a warming fire. The concept of hearing/seeing others have sex as wrong is a fairly recent concept. Maybe the reasons for the change are good but they do not come from God.

  12. Tulsa says:

    We have both initiated sex, while the other was already on the phone (dependent on who it is), but never have called first, just to have anyone else listen.
    It can be a lot of fun!

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