This is primarily my wife’s account but I decided to hop on. You might even see a few stories from me.
My wife has posted some incredible beautiful stories. We love reading the stories here. They’re hot and we sometimes stop reading mid-way to create our own stories, if you know what I mean. It’s great to know there are other Christian couples sharing God’s testimony.
I do want to make a comment about a post my wife made more than a year ago. Her post about feeling like a failure as a Christian wife due to not having an orgasm. I want to mention I shared similar feelings. My wife is incredible. She’s smart. She’s sweet. She has a heart of gold. I’m thankful God chose her for me. I’m thankful I get to be married to this incredible woman for the rest of my life. My goal as a Christian husband is to make sure her needs are met. Just as she makes sure my needs are met. One need is the pleasure I want to give her. Seeing my wife in pleasure brings me pleasure. I love hearing her moans, her voice, her sounds. I love feeling her arms and legs around me as I go in and out of her. I love the way her body reacts to me. I love the faces and the show she puts on only for me. Only for my eyes only. My wife makes sure I’m in pleasure. I make sure she’s in pleasure. It’s about each other. Not being able to give my wife an orgasm, an O that she always gives me is hard. We struggled. Every time we had sex and made love, I felt like a failure. She didn’t have an O. I kept asking but she would always say no. I read books. I read stories. I read comments. My goal was to get her to O. My heart broke when nothing worked. It wasn’t until I sought out counsel that I started to understand everything.
1. The goal of sex isn’t an orgasm. God didn’t create sex to have an O. God created sex to bind two people together. My body is my wife’s. Hers is mine. Sex is about pleasuring your spouse. Meeting their needs.
2. Pleasure leads to an O. An O is a involuntary response to pleasure. Trying to force an O will not work. It puts a lot of pressure on both spouses. It should be about pleasure not pressure.
3. I was selfish wanting my wife to have an O. I wanted her to have an O for me, not her. I wanted to feel pleasure. It should be about her pleasure. Seeing her in pleasure brings me pleasure. I started to enjoy my wife’s body without demanding it respond to me with an O.
4. Stop asking and watching. Asking my wife if she had an O put a lot of pressure on her and myself. Watching for her O is exhausting. Sex became more about an O than pleasing each other as spouses. It kills any progress we’ve made. We enjoy the process without the pressure or talk about an O.
5. Trust. My wife trusts me and I trust her. Having an O requires trusts. An O is something that requires pleasure and is involuntarily. My wife is trusting me with her body and her pleasure. Having an O requires you to let go and trust your spouse. Letting go and just feeling all of it without worrying. Orgasm is about letting go. I let go and I trust my wife with my O. I surrender to her and my body. This requires a lot of trust.
6. My wife is wonderful. I love the way she sucks me off and plays with my cock. I love the way she begs me to enter her and her moans when I pound her. How her breathing quickens with each stroke. Her beautiful breasts going up and down. Her eyes closed or rolling back. Her kegels when I’m inside her. Her love for not only me but others. Her cooking. Her smile. Sex isn’t only in the bedroom. Build your spouse up and show and tell them what they mean to you.
7. Explore your body. Let your spouse explore your body and you explore theirs. Explore yours. Communicate. Tell your spouse what feels good and what doesn’t. Tell them what you like or don’t like. What you want to try. Tell them to stop or have code words or movements to stop. Communicate. Communication is very important. When your spouse wants to talk listen.
Now this is hard to admit as a Christian husband. I didn’t know much about the deeper end of sex. I grew up in church as a pastor’s kid. I thought I knew a lot ,but I didn’t. Sex isn’t one thing. It’s many things. It’s not just in the bedroom. Not being able to give my wife an O was very hard on me and on her. I felt like a failure. She felt like a failure. It caused a drift between us as spouses. We turned to God and looked within ourselves. I sought counsel. We had to communicate and reevaluate ourselves. Sex is good. An O is a bonus to sex. An O isn’t sex. Sex isn’t an O. Sex is so much deeper. It is so much more. You can have an O and not have sex. Many Christians struggle with this. Especially me. However, once you understand God’s testimony and yourself it gets easier. Life in quarantine brought my wife and I closer together. With the pressure of an O off, my wife and I enjoyed sex. I didn’t think about giving her an O. Only pleasure. She didn’t think about an O. We didn’t talk about her orgasm. We would pleasure each other and got even more pleasure.
Now, this took years. I mean years. No shame in this. Everyone is different. Without a focus on an O and enjoying each other, my wife had her first O last week on our couch. Completely unexpected, but amazing. She had tears in her eyes and my heart burst witnessing this. I saw her let go and give in to her body. Now I have to remind myself not to focus on her O during sex focus on her pleasure. Her very first O after years of being married shows you God’s testimony. My wife felt safe, relaxed, and trusted me fully with her body. I brought her pleasure then her body reacted by having an orgasm.
Please don’t feel like a failure. God created sex for us to enjoy. You’re not a failure if you can’t get your spouse’s body to an orgasm. Sex is about spouses connecting deeper and coming together. Sex is pleasure. Sex is about exploring and communicating. I enjoy sex. My wife enjoys sex. I see her in ways nobody else can and that in itself is special and hot. Having an orgasm shouldn’t be the end goal or the first goal. It should be about pleasure and your spouse. An orgasm shouldn’t be the focus. Your spouse and their pleasure should be the focus.
Thanks for reading. I hope this helps other Christian couples. Now I’m going to get off here, find my wife, and give you another amazing hot Christian married couple story.
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