Christian Husband Here

This is primarily my wife’s account but I decided to hop on. You might even see a few stories from me.

My wife has posted some incredible beautiful stories. We love reading the stories here.  They’re hot and we sometimes stop reading mid-way to create our own stories, if you know what I mean. It’s great to know there are other Christian couples sharing God’s testimony.

I do want to make a comment about a post my wife made more than a year ago. Her post about feeling like a failure as a Christian wife due to not having an orgasm. I want to mention I shared similar feelings. My wife is incredible. She’s smart. She’s sweet. She has a heart of gold. I’m thankful God chose her for me. I’m thankful I get to be married to this incredible woman for the rest of my life. My goal as a Christian husband is to make sure her needs are met. Just as she makes sure my needs are met. One need is the pleasure I want to give her. Seeing my wife in pleasure brings me pleasure. I love hearing her moans, her voice, her sounds. I love feeling her arms and legs around me as I go in and out of her. I love the way her body reacts to me. I love the faces and the show she puts on only for me. Only for my eyes only. My wife makes sure I’m in pleasure. I make sure she’s in pleasure. It’s about each other. Not being able to give my wife an orgasm, an O that she always gives me is hard. We struggled. Every time we had sex and made love, I felt like a failure. She didn’t have an O. I kept asking but she would always say no. I read books. I read stories. I read comments. My goal was to get her to O. My heart broke when nothing worked. It wasn’t until I sought out counsel that I started to understand everything.

1. The goal of sex isn’t an orgasm. God didn’t create sex to have an O. God created sex to bind two people together. My body is my wife’s. Hers is mine. Sex is about pleasuring your spouse. Meeting their needs.

2. Pleasure leads to an O. An O is a involuntary response to pleasure. Trying to force an O will not work. It puts a lot of pressure on both spouses. It should be about pleasure not pressure.

3. I was selfish wanting my wife to have an O. I wanted her to have an O for me, not her. I wanted to feel pleasure. It should be about her pleasure. Seeing her in pleasure brings me pleasure.  I started to enjoy my wife’s body without demanding it respond to me with an O.

4. Stop asking and watching. Asking my wife if she had an O put a lot of pressure on her and myself. Watching for her O is exhausting. Sex became more about an O than pleasing each other as spouses. It kills any progress we’ve made. We enjoy the process without the pressure or talk about an O.

5. Trust. My wife trusts me and I trust her. Having an O requires trusts. An O is something that requires  pleasure and is involuntarily. My wife is trusting me with her body and her pleasure. Having an O requires you to let go and trust your spouse. Letting go and just feeling all of it without worrying. Orgasm is about letting go. I let go and I trust my wife with my O. I surrender to her and my body. This requires a lot of trust.

6. My wife is wonderful. I love the way she sucks me off and plays with my cock. I love the way she begs me to enter her and her moans when I pound her. How her breathing quickens with each stroke. Her beautiful breasts going up and down. Her eyes closed or rolling back. Her kegels when I’m inside her. Her love for not only me but others. Her cooking. Her smile. Sex isn’t only in the bedroom. Build your spouse up and show  and tell them what they mean to you.

7. Explore your body. Let your spouse explore your body and you explore theirs. Explore yours.  Communicate. Tell your spouse what feels good and what doesn’t. Tell them what you like or don’t like. What you want to try. Tell them to stop or have code words or movements to stop. Communicate.  Communication is very important. When your spouse wants to talk listen.

Now this is hard to admit as a Christian husband. I didn’t know much about the deeper end of sex. I grew up in church as a pastor’s kid. I thought I knew a lot ,but I didn’t. Sex isn’t one thing. It’s many things. It’s not just in the bedroom. Not being able to give my wife an O was very hard on me and on her. I felt like a failure. She felt like a failure. It caused a drift between us as spouses. We turned to God and looked within ourselves. I sought counsel. We had to communicate and reevaluate ourselves. Sex is good. An O is a bonus to sex. An O isn’t sex. Sex isn’t an O. Sex is so much deeper. It is so much more. You can have an O and not have sex. Many Christians struggle with this. Especially me. However, once you understand God’s testimony and yourself it gets easier. Life in quarantine brought my wife and I closer together. With the pressure of an O off, my wife and I enjoyed sex. I didn’t think about giving her an O. Only pleasure. She didn’t think about an O. We didn’t talk about her orgasm. We would  pleasure each other and got even more pleasure.

Now,  this  took years. I mean years. No shame in this. Everyone is different. Without a focus on an O and enjoying each other, my wife had her first O last week on our couch. Completely unexpected, but amazing. She had tears in her eyes and my heart burst witnessing this. I saw her let go and give in to her body. Now I have to remind myself not to focus on her O during sex focus on her pleasure. Her very first O after years of being married shows you God’s testimony. My wife felt safe, relaxed, and trusted me fully with her body. I brought her pleasure then her body reacted by having an orgasm.

Please don’t feel like a failure. God created sex for us to enjoy. You’re not a failure if you can’t get your spouse’s body to an orgasm. Sex is about spouses connecting deeper and coming together. Sex is pleasure. Sex is about exploring and communicating. I enjoy sex. My wife enjoys sex. I see her in ways nobody else can and that in itself is special and hot. Having an orgasm shouldn’t be the end goal or the first goal. It should be about pleasure and your spouse. An orgasm shouldn’t be the focus. Your spouse and their pleasure should be the focus.

Thanks for reading. I hope this helps other Christian couples. Now I’m going to get off here, find my wife, and give you another amazing hot Christian married couple story.

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12 replies
  1. Satin King says:

    This is a great post! Thanks for your openness and honesty. This is what this site is all about! Just want to affirm you both in your pursuit of a healthy beautiful fun married sex life. I would also chime in that you could tell the exact same story with the roles reversed about a man who struggles with getting or keeping an erection. The more you focus on that or make that the goal the more impossible it becomes. So I just want to say amen! and Thank you Lord! for this beautiful testimony!

    • Honeymooners says:

      Thank you. God bless.

      Yes, the same can be said about men as well. There's a lot of pressure on both wife and husband. It's hard to step back and focus on the end goal which is pleasure. We all want to feel good and make our spouse happy. I felt awful not being able to give my wife what I wanted her to have. However, stepping back we both realized that's not the goal of sex. The more you focus on it the harder it will become. Focus on each other and the moment. I remind myself this often. When I start to focus on the end goal I remind myself that the end goal is pleasure not pressure. If I put pressure on myself then my wife feels it too. Once the pressure is off and we enjoy each other we can truly focus on each other and our pleasure.

    • Honeymooners says:

      God Bless. Yes, it took me time to understand this. I have to remember it's not just the O. It's about each other.

  2. LovingMan says:

    Hey Christian Husband of the Honeymooners… Thank you for the wonderful counsel! You are very wise. I sometimes push too hard for my wife to reach orgasm and sometimes she really is fine without having one. That’s incomprehensible to me but I am learning to accept that. Her health challenges sometimes are a roadblock to reaching climax. She still enjoys the lovemaking.
    MY increasing health challenges have also affected what we can do. But we have learned to be grateful for what we can still share. I used to be able to reach 3-5 orgasms in a lovemaking session & Melodie would have 2-3 or more… but now it’s one or two for each of us because O # 2 is much more difficult to get to. So we’ve had to be content with less orgasms. That being said, we have sex about every other day so I’m not complaining to God about this!
    Our sex schedule has Melodie going for a orgasm every other session.

    • Honeymooners says:

      It's hard to accept especially as husbands. My wife loves sex and said it's great regardless but I can't imagine not having an O. However, an O isn't sex and sex isn't an O. The more pressure there is the less pleasure there is. The focus becomes on the O and not husband and wife. Regardless we are not failures. God created sex and created an O. Sex with my wife is amazing. Once we got the O off our minds, we could truly enjoy ourselves without added pressure. My wife doesn't O every time. I have to remind myself it's ok. We enjoy ourselves. Sex is pleasure. Now when she does O, it's the result of our pleasure and is a bonus to the pleasure. I cherish it. I love experiencing my wife all of her. This isn't an easy thing. I'm thankful you're talking about it. I hope to encourage others. You're helping others by sharing. God Bless You and you wife.

  3. LovingMan says:

    I should add that we are happy for you both at your wife making it to the top of Mount O. But you made it clear that you have enjoyed the view from all parts of the mountain climb!

  4. Honeymooners says:

    Thank you. My wife wants to write her story about it but she's holding on to it. Still surprised by it all as it happened recently. I think she's still in awe that it happened and I'm in awe I got to witness it and experience it with her. I enjoy my wife and she enjoys me. The O isn't our goal it's pleasure. The O is a result of our pleasure. I can't lie and say I'm not happy she finally had an O. I'm happy she had an O and can experience an O. It made us realize that sex is special and is much more than an O. We have to enjoy all parts of it and we certainly do 🙂 Thank You. God Bless you.

  5. PatientPassion says:

    Wow, I'm in awe! There's so much wisdom and beauty here, and it's inspiring to me as a young single.

    My first reaction is to praise God for finally bringing your wife to a place where she can experience an orgasm! If this was my story, I can almost guarantee I'd be in tears along with my wife at seeing her finally be able to experience that! We truly value things more when we know what it's like to not have them.

    There's also praise due for the wisdom (and undoubtedly, the intimacy) God has grown in you two through this journey. I pray he continues to grow that wisdom and intimacy (and pleasure and orgasms!) even more for you and your wife!

    • Honeymooners says:

      Thanks for reading. Yes, God is good. I'm thankful God allowed us to bring pleasure and an O. My heart was so happy seeing my wife O. She cried and I kissed her. After, we cuddled and I couldn't let her go. The fact she experienced that especially her first one is truly a wonderful thing to witness. My heart burst. It's something like no other. Thank God he gave us these gifts.
      God Bless you.

  6. Sapphire says:

    As a woman who has gotten there, I’m not ashamed to say it took years to figure it out, partly because I used to feel ashamed to masturbate so my only practice to understand my body and what I was feeling was through sex. And nothing kills a mood like worrying about it happening.

    Every now and then, sex was amazing, and I didn’t know what made it that way. Most of the time, it was hard to identify one moment that I would call a climax, it was just overall pleasurable at various levels.

    I guess I figured it out when I realized sometimes after sex I wanted more sex, and sometimes I felt like it was enough and I didn’t want anymore.

    Once I got a vibrator and got over the stigma, I started being able to make it happen more readily. I keep it simple, stay with the clit, but I know there are so many other toys to try. Now we use a vibrator for foreplay, and once I have a small one, then it’s easier to have more and more as we have sex. In my experience, not all orgasms are created equal. You don’t have to scream and tremble every time. There are so many levels of pleasure, and clit orgasms are different than g-spot orgasms. Often they work together to make it happen. I’m not an orgasm pro by any means, but I’m sure if you give her attention and affection, she’ll get there when she gets there.

    Seriously though, vibrators are great learning tools.

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