Changing Christian Thinking About Sex

I woke up early this morning thinking about the Christian’s sex life. So many of us have grown up with inhibitions that are certainly not Biblical. I have pondered how one might develop a 30-day program or challenge to overcome those aversions to sex. I must confess that the couple that made their sex tapes and posted them online gave me the idea. While I have not seen their video, it seems they hit on a real need, even among Christians.

First, let us establish that God never added shame to sex in the Garden of Eden. Man has done that! Most Christians believe that God created us and, therefore, sex; HE said to be fruitful and fill the earth, and we believe HE is omnipresent. Therefore HE has not had a problem seeing His children having a good time getting it on all these centuries. It is we who have perverted sex with our Victorian age indoctrination that sex is evil and dirty and that women are not supposed to enjoy it. Frankly, I think church leaders have done to us what the Pharisees and religious leaders have always done; that is, over-regulated the people to maintain their power over us, lest we fall to too much married sex and therefore sin. They have made up sins for us as a means of keeping their (the church leader’s) importance.

As an aside: I have heard a word to describe some males in our later years of sexual activity: mesbian. It doesn’t refer to a man who desires to change his physical structure, nor does a mesbian wish to become the consort of other men. He is still absolutely heterosexual; however, due to erection issues, he now must satisfy his spouse by the same methods a lesbian would use. Maybe not always, but I, at least, find it more difficult to become and remain hard now than before COVID. A mesbian can still cum, just not with the same force. So ladies, here is what you have dreamed about probably since college or before: someone to eat your pussy for hours. Someone to suck your tits and lick your clit. Foreplay becomes the main event.

Now imagine a marriage in which a mesbian wishes desperately to continue his sexual relationship with his wife, but either one or both of them suffers an aversion to the idea of oral sex, or at least to completion. To them, the products of orgasm aren’t clean or don’t appeal to their taste. Maybe they think that contact of those liquids with any part but their genitals is degrading or domineering, and they aren’t into that. What could help them overcome their distaste and/or misguided ideas of what is okay between spouses?

That’s where my idea comes in. I’m sure I’m not the first to come up with it, but here’s my version:

Someone could create a video depicting reciprocal male and female orgasms, with the absolute requirement that the couple in the video must be husband and wife. Each orgasm would last only a few seconds, but the video would depict multiple different orgasm circumstances. For the challenge, a husband and wife would watch this video together every day for at least 30 days. They would watch each clip, from ejaculation or squirting to swallowing, whether or not they considered it revolting or nasty at first.

Let me now describe each instructive clip. Again, the married couple must be the only two people depicted in each circumstance. No group sex! No additional people in the cum shots or squirts or drips! Where ever possible, participants could hide their identity. Actually, it should be up to the couple if they want to remain anonymous, as there is no shame in married sex!

Each shot or depicted sequence would be from the time of orgasm to the completion of the swallow—no build-up or prolonged session. We aren’t talking about sex videos, just clips meant to help diminishes negative emotional responsiveness to a stimulus through repeated exposure to it—desensitization.

1. Close up of husband’s penis in wife’s mouth as she is giving him a BJ and he cums on her tongue. She plays with it and swishes it in her mouth, then swallows it with a smile, indicating she loved and enjoyed it. (One could add a segment for a deep-throat cum too.)

2. Whatever it takes for the wife to squirt/drip into the husband’s mouth. For instance, he could perform oral sex on her in the cowboy position, which would put her pussy on his face. He also shows he loved the taste, swallowing it with a smile.

3. In the next sequence, the wife squirts on his face; he wipes it to his mouth and enjoys swallowing her juices.

4. He cums on her face, and she wipes it to her mouth and enjoys swallowing it.

5. He lays on his back and masturbates (or she does it for him) and cums on his tummy, and she licks it up and swallows.

6. She masturbates (or he does it for her) and wipes the juices onto her tummy, and he cleans it up with his tongue or licks her pussy after her orgasm.

7. He cums in her mouth, then she French kisses him with a mouth full of his cum.

8. She orgasms in his mouth, and he French kisses her.

9. He cums in her pussy, then starts to eat her pussy and his cum to finish her orgasm and his job.

10. She orgasms on his dick then starts sucking his dick with her juices on it to finish her job.

Now, this next suggestion may seem revolting to some, but the purpose of this exercise is to see these are things husbands and wives can do to and for each other for pleasure and excitement.

11. Lastly he cums and she squirts on a bowl of ice cream as the “topping,” and they eat out of the same bowl together.

As I said, the object of such a film would be to help the viewing couple over any revulsion to enjoying the resulting delicacies from sex. If we look back, we can see how videos and movies have changed our idea of what is acceptable. Full frontal nudity and even a husband and wife sleeping in the same bed were no-nos years ago. Nowadays, we are bombarded daily with images and circumstances that we never thought we would see in this life. How much more might watching things from real-life marriages changes our view of what is acceptable between spouses?

This may seem extreme, but seeing others doing these things over and over hopefully could change what seems nasty and or revolting to the couples watching the video. It will take dedication by the viewing couple to watch the complete video, no matter how it at first strikes them, every day for 30 days or longer until the action no longer provokes a negative reaction.

It would be wonderful if multiple couples of different races and ages would create their own separate video and, as an added option, someone splice them into a video showcasing all the couples.  Ex: one couple does numbers 1 and 2, another does 3 and 4, etc. In this way, a video containing several couples doing their own version of each act could be created without any couple knowing or performing live with another couple.

This is just an idea. What does everyone think? I wish someone had done this for us 30 years ago. It might have helped back then. I would love to be one of those couples making the video, but, alas we need to be among the ones watching the video. It could still help now!

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17 replies
  1. LovingMan says:

    Intriguing idea. Not sure about it though. You are definitely correct that we live with wrong – anti sex baggage from our civilization’s past. The Victorian era was definitely one of the main culprits.

    Your list sounds like fun. We’ve done some of those (especially #9) but not all of the sexy items on your list. I wonder if using your list as a sexual bucket list would be helpful.

    BTW I’d add this act to your list: The husband cums on his wife’s nipples and breasts then enjoys licking it off her boobs as he’s stimulating her nips in the process! It took us years to get to this but we finally did it last month. I wrote it up for MH. We use Aloe Cadabra flavored lube mixed with coconut oil and it makes for a tasty cum filled pussy or cum covered boob!

    • catlover says:

      Your idea should be included too! My list is only a set of suggestions; all ideas of additions and should be welcomed and entertained by the MH group. Thank you for taking the idea as I meant it.

  2. Soulman says:

    Though I certainly agree that we have a lot of messed-up ideas about human sexuality I do think you’re making quite a few assumptions to get to your action items. Not everything that was possible before the fall is possible after. (In this life) We are broken. We have a sin nature. And it was God that clothed Adam & Eve. I certainly haven't had the opportunity to explore every point you bring up here . . . Many of which I’m sure are valid, but I did want to point out that one should proceed with caution in this area and seek the whole counsel of scripture. As you study and reflect on this, here are some additional thoughts to consider along with some of the good points you’ve brought up:

    The teaching about the weaker brother and the stronger brother and how we are to relate to each other in love.
    The nature of how we grow in Christ in Romans 12 (we transform by renewing our thinking, not by conforming our behavior)
    The struggle of the inner Man taught in Romans 7

    The list goes on . . . . . . . .
    I think my biggest struggle with this post (and perhaps I’m misreading it), is that it reads that we should expose people to images to “wear them down” . . To ”desensitize” and “normalize” something. I think people who have strong, alternative views got there from strong (perhaps wrong) teaching from people they look up to and respect or are putting up barriers to manage pain, shame, or abuse. I would be concerned that the approach above would have the opposite effect that you intend. That’s just not where I go in my mind when Jesus says, “you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free”

    But again, I wholeheartedly agree that we have many hang-ups in this area and I thank you for bringing up this point of discussion.

    • SecondMarge says:

      [From MH: Though at first glance this branch of the conversation may seem a bit OT, it may bear relevance to the visual aspect of the original post.]

      One of my first puzzled thoughts when young and reading the Bible.

      The Serpent's Deception
      …5“For God knows that in the day you eat of it, your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.” 6When the woman saw that the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eyes, and that it was desirable for obtaining wisdom, she took the fruit and ate it. She also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate it. 7And the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; so they sewed together fig leaves and made coverings for themselves.…

      Seems to start the Christian war with knowledge and wisdom. Yet made man more like God for that knowledge. Man felt the need to cover his and her sexual parts from whom? God? Illogical? Which I have come to see is often a case in scripture. God being illogical never made sense to me.

    • catlover says:

      I agree that God clothed Adam and Eve. However remember that He gave them clothes after they had attempted to clothe themselves. That may make the fact that God clothed them take on a different meaning. The clothing wasn't because God saw their nakedness as sin. He was sending them into a world of now wild animals and briars and brambles. All of those dangers necessitated covering the genitalia for protection from those fore mentioned items plus the environment weather. While some societies do not protect the adult reproductive organs, most do. Besides there are times when a prophet and others have gone naked without their nakedness being declared a sin.

  3. CrazyHappyLoved says:

    I think desensitization is what we all do naturally as we adapt to new situations that might not be our preference, and anyone looking at our culture can see how repeated (even constant) exposure to something tends to blunt our response to it, whether good or bad. But in the case of sexual aversions to something, there may be deep-seated reasons that need more care than simple exposure therapy. I definitely would recommend counseling rather than "self-medication" in this realm.

    I agree that it seems manipulative to ask someone to commit to a "reprogramming," as it were, if it were against their own best judgment; it seems more selfish than loving. No one should be asked to act against their conscience or conviction. But they can be expected to consider and discuss others' opinions and to offer their own alternatives to letting the sexual side of the marriage die. And if a person *wanted* to change their own preferences, due to the medical or age-related issues the OP describes or just to accommodate the preferences or wishes of his or her spouse, this might be one way to do it.

    Let me be clear that I don't have a problem with sexual media that depicts God-honoring relationships/activity. But this particular format would not appeal to me, mainly because it is the relationship part of sex that matters most in my mind. Maybe that's because of my gender, or maybe it's just me. Yes, seeing (or hearing or reading about) other people enjoying something that I thought would be gross might change my mind after I considered it a while, especially if I were convinced that they were a real couple and not just actors pretending to love one another or characters in a fictional story. But a simple smile at the end doesn't convey the love, security, and closeness I'd need to feel comfortable trying it. I'd need the build-up, the "story", the emotion (and kisses and cuddling after) to convince me they were for real rather than just an act or the figment of a horny imagination. (Not that there is *anything* wrong with godly fiction—or horny imaginations—for those who enjoy them! 😋)

    • catlover says:

      I totally agree with you that many of us have different mental needs to find something arousing. In that vain the videos could be in different formats. Some long and some short like tik tok or what ever the short form videos are recorded in. Video could be long form and then clipped to reveal shorter scenes.
      The loving couples should be fulfilled by the fact that the couples are married to each other. And perhaps with a method of hiding identity even MH couples so that the love is known to exist. Remember this is only an idea I have not thought out the implementation. However we did have a couple post some of their loving, love making videos online somewhere.

  4. SecondMarge says:

    First: Christians, while generally more conservative sexually on average than the general public, represent a vast range of sexual acceptance. If you look back at the ‘50s then back to The early 1900s, the growth and willingness to admit to others have been huge. Still too many think many sex acts, nudity, voyeurism, and exhibitionist acts are wrong. Of course they are not. Overcoming the obsession of judging others, especially in the gay and bi community, will take another generation. Can we normalize sex if some still see it as a Holy act?
    Pretty much all your normalizing examples were acceptable to all but the extremely conservative 50 years ago. Hopefully, no one that reads MH would find any of it sinful or teach their children that those pleasures are wrong.
    But it sounds like working through those scenes would be fun, as would watching. After those baby steps, we might all be interested in some real progress.

  5. Tulsa says:

    I don't get it, catlover: Are you thinking that if a Christian couple watched a video, of another Christian couple or dozen, doing an act that they don't do, and/or one of them wants to do, the video will persuade the less than willing one to go ahead? Is that the thinking here?

    • catlover says:

      My thinking which by no means is cast in stone. The idea is not forced persuasion, the idea is to help those like us who love to read and write stories for MH go one step further for those who are visual learners. Example is some folks even here on MH think the stories are embellished. But perhaps, I say perhaps, if they saw examples of real life loving couples it would take on a vision of what is natural, possible arousing and fun. I am not advocating a full fledged 5000 videos. My thinking is only a few to depict the different possible endings of the love making sessions.
      Those who participated in the thirty day challenge would be those who wanted to add normalization to different sex acts. Maybe like the thirty or even year long challenges to have sex every day that some folks have tried. Others of us could think and plan the thing if it has merit. Mentioned in the comments is a couple that tried cum on nips and tasting his own. How many years have maybe many of us never thought to do this or have had some aversion to it. Rather than years perhaps they would have done it sooner. How many wives do this for us by allowing us to cum on their tongue or body or giving us a bj. Yet we want them to do for us but have a hangup about our own cum and maybe even hers.
      Young married as well as old married could possibly benefit from seeing.

    • catlover says:

      Are u still speechless? Is the idea interesting? My idea is without any forced observation. It is in hopes of providing sexual education of a type for young and old who find porn sinful and disgusting as it should be. Unless the couple performing in porn are married to each other and only having sex with each other at the exclusion of everyone else and loving each other, their motives are money for sex not love. They may love each other with wrong motives for videos.

  6. Fearless Lunk says:

    I understand why this visual display seems off or not a fit for some. I believe that it would have HELPED us in general. I know it seems weird to couch this as sexual “reprogramming” – but given the purity culture baggage and sex-negative influences in our life, some reprogramming may have been healthy for us. I’m guessing it would have helped my wife especially. There is just too much that she thinks is “taboo” even though it’s really more “normal” stuff for a married couple.

    • catlover says:

      Amen. My wife won't watch porn at all. She considers it repulsive sin. Irony is her mother has had no such aversion. At least that is what she has said.

    • SecondMarge says:

      Not something I would do but I don’t see it as wrong. Watching another couple would be exciting and having them feed off us might also raise the level. But having it on the internet seems more open than feels secure. Historically, seeing others having sex was the norm, as was enjoying it. This stigma about viewing sex is a fairly recent thing. If someone saw me topless on the beach and masturbated then or later, how is that not a positive? Even if I don’t have the thrill that an exhibitionist would have. How is it any different than so many comments here that after reading one of the stories, the reader masturbates? Watching vs reading an intimate description? No difference in a wrong or right position.

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