Innocence Lost

[Marriage Heat note: Indeed, many refer to the loss of virginity as a “loss of innocence.” However, remember that married sex is not a sin; in fact, it is a commandment. Hence, the bride and groom having sex for the first time, while no longer virgins, are still innocent of any sin.]

I was 20 when I met my future husband, Sam. I’d been working evenings at a small country diner my parents owned since I turned 17, my first job. My folks hoped I would “find a man” and get married. 

At that age, I was an awkward teenager who looked rather like a long-haired boy. I didn’t fully develop until around 19 when I lost my boyish figure and finally developed breasts. After that, several male customers started to notice me—some rather rudely.  

I went out with a couple of guys my age, but all they wanted was sex. When I wouldn’t “put out,” they stopped coming around. So I determined I wouldn’t date until I found a real man, a gentleman. But that seemed like a fantasy. I couldn’t even find a good man at church. Well, I could have if I wanted to go out with someone my parents’ age.  

Then, out of the blue, God answered my prayers; Sam walked into the diner. When I saw him, I dropped a tray of drinks on the floor. I knew right away that this was to be my husband. 

Sam came in daily, sometimes morning and evenings. He was 26, and I got butterflies whenever I thought of him, let alone when I was around him. A couple of weeks after we met, we went out on our first date, a diner-food sunset picnic out at the lake. We laughed a lot, and it seemed like we were on the fast track to learning everything about each other. 

He was not put off by my choice to save sex for marriage, nor did he want to take my virginity from me right then and there. He was not a virgin and had not been since he was 15. He told me he’d had many partners and was engaged once, for a year. But his intended had cheated on him and left him for the other guy. A couple of months later, he moved out to the country and met me. 

We got married three months after we met. After a nice, small wedding on my parents’ farm, he took me to a rental property he managed in the mountains.  

Once we were alone in the cabin, I was a hot nervous mess. Thoughts flooded my head. Would he be attracted to me when he saw me naked? What did he expect of me? Would he be disappointed if I wasn’t like the other women he’d known? 

Sam could tell I was nervous and afraid when we walked into the bedroom. But it was candlelit, with roses and rose petals everywhere. He took me in his arms and held me, telling me we would go as fast or slow as I was comfortable with and that we have the rest of our lives together.  

Our lips met, and we kissed long and passionately. Sam’s big strong hands caressed my bare back, and I swooned and moaned as they rubbed the indent at the small of my back and pulled me tighter against him. I could feel his hardness pressing against my belly as I had before, but now I knew I would see it—and him—naked for the first time. I was shaking when I reached behind my neck to undo the collar of my dress.  

“Turn around,” Sam said. 

I turn, trembling as I feel him undo my dress. My hands held the dress over my breasts as I turned to face him again.

Sam smiled. “It’s okay, baby,” he said, so I slowly lowered the bodice of my dress to bare my breasts, firm and high, with long nipples now harder than I’d ever noticed before. He smiled and stepped forward, and our eyes met. I felt dizzy again when his hands softly yet firmly touched, then slowly squeezed my breasts. His fingers slid over my nipples and rubbed them between his fingers. 

My body tingled, and I felt a wetness and fire between my legs that I’d never experienced. Then, as he pinched harder on my nipples, I fell against him; the room spun, and I started hyperventilating. 

Sam knew that I suffered from anxiety, but this was my first episode to this degree. He helped me sit on the bed and rushed out to get a bag. Then he held it around my nose and mouth until my episode passed. I felt so embarrassed, but Sam reassured me that everything was fine.  

After internally beating myself up, I stood up and faced Sam where he sat on the bed. I grabbed the dress and slowly pushed it down over my belly. As I pushed it lower, he started to smile, and I saw the front of his pants move again. I took a deep breath and let the dress fall, which left me naked except for white thigh-high stockings and a white garter around my waist to hold them up. I  was shaking but tried to control my breathing and bounding heart.  

“Sophie, you are soooo beautiful; more so than I imagined!” Sam exclaimed. He reached out and softly touched my belly and sides. Then his hands slid to my hips, and I shuddered as they traveled down my thighs and stopped at my knees. Then Sam looked up, locked eyes on mine, and pulled me between his open thighs. His hands came up to cup my butt and squeeze it as his lips kissed my belly all over until he got to my belly button. When he pressed his tongue into it, my knees wobbled, so he wrapped his arms around me to steady me while he continued kissing and licking my belly.  

Then Sam turned me around and laid me down on the bed on my back. My head spun as he lay on his side and softly caressed my breasts and belly. When his fingers ran lightly through the curls covering my sex, I gasped. He smiled at my reaction and continued toying with my hair, rubbing and tugging lightly. 

“I love that you didn’t shave, baby,” he said. It had never occurred to me until then that a woman might shave her pubic hair off. Sam lowered his head and kissed my lips, then down to my neck. My back arched, and I moaned as his hand slipped further down through my hair. Our eyes locked again when he could go no further. 

“It’s okay, baby; we can slow down.” I nodded, and Sam said, “If I get undressed, would you like that?”

I gasped and bit my lip like a young girl getting a surprise birthday gift as I nodded yes. As I watched, Sam removed his suit jacket, tie, and shirt. I smiled to see his six-pack abs; I’d never seen him shirtless before, even when we’d gone swimming. As he undid his belt and let his pants fall to the floor, I gasped loudly to see his boxers pushing straight out due to his erection. The front of his boxers looked darker and damp.

Then Sam pulled the waistband out and over his erection, letting the shorts fall, and I stared at his manhood. He was so long—bigger than a hot dog or a grilling sausage. How was that supposed to fit… ?  I felt unsure of God’s plan for a moment. But I’d looked at my sex in the mirror before and knew I’d have to stretch for a baby to come out. Apparently, I would stretch for my man as well.

We stared at each other for a while as I calmed myself again. Finally, I opened my arms and slowly spread my legs, inviting Sam to join me, to become one with me.  

Sam positioned himself over me and said, “I am so blessed to have married you, so thankful you chose me.”

Then he reached down and grabbed his manhood as I looked down between us. I couldn’t repress a moan when I felt his hot manhood press against my sex for the first time. My head thrashed as I felt him push into me, stretching me open. I panted and shook, my head spinning again as he groaned. 

“Baby, damn, you’re sooo tight!” I thought he meant I was too small for him, but he chuckled when I asked. “No, baby, you are perfect. It’s your first time, so your body has to adjust to me and to penetration. The tightness is an AMAZING feeling!”   

Sam slowly slid his helmet head in and out, and I started getting hotter and wetter. When he pushed deeper into me, I arched my back and felt him pressing against my “purity barrier.” He laid the weight of his body on mine and whispered his love for me as I screamed out as he broke through my veil, making me a woman—his wife.

My body convulsed, and I started to hyperventilate again. Our eyes locked as I felt my sex stretch, pulsing and tingling.  

Sam groaned that he couldn’t hold back, and he went limp on top of me as his manhood also began to pulsate inside me. I instinctively wrap my arms and legs around him. I felt a warm liquid leaking out around his manhood as he slowly shrank and slid out of my sex. He rolled off me onto his side and caressed my face, and I felt so much love as well as a hungry fire still burning deep in my body. I trembled as he ran his finger over my lips and said, “You want more, don’t you?”

I nodded yes, and he pressed tight against me. We kissed passionately until I felt his manhood stir against me once more…