How Nude Can Ya Get?
Hey, everybody. I’ve been a frequent reader of this site on and off for around 4 years, but this is my first time submitting a post. My name’s Jacklyn. I’m in my thirties and I’m currently single right now, but I’m a mother to two beautiful kids. My daughter’s the youngest, she’s 12, and my son recently turned 15.
I was curious to compare our household with others. I wouldn’t necessarily say my household is a “nudist” lifestyle. However, I showered naked with my kids up until they were around the age of 6. Both my kids grew up being nude around the house and they both still remain comfortable being nude around me. My son doesn’t stay nude around the house, but once in awhile will come into the next room or kitchen butt-naked in front of me and his younger sister without a care. On a lazy day he’ll usually just have boxerbriefs on. But I don’t find it awkward or uncomfortable seeing my son nude; nudity has always been somewhat familiar to us. I’ve even made jokes to my son that he has a cute butt, and he just looked back at me laughing.
I often times just wear a bra and panties around the house, and my daughter has done the same. I personally don’t go nude, even though some of the thong panties I wear make it quite close. And no, I haven’t ever noticed any signs of my kids being weirded out about seeing me wearing just panties. It’s just always been the norm in our household.
Look forward to your thoughts!
I don't allow my daughters to see me naked and I make them get dressed quickly once they finish their baths. They are young kids. I imagine as they get older it will be even more strict. I am old fashioned and want to instill a good sense of modesty.
My wife seems more natural and will come out of the shower buck naked.
I saw my mother naked once or twice by accident as a kid and they are both horrible experiences. The great awkwardness of it all. I don't think I would have liked living in a naked household.
I just don't like being nude unless I'm in the midst of banging the wife or showering. My wife has been hinting she would like to sleep naked after a hardy romp. It sounds good to me while in the midst, but afterwards I just want to put on my pj's and go to sleep.
My two cents is that it depends on the personalities involved, time of life, and psychological health of all those involved (it's certainly not unhealthy to prefer nudism but if the child is showing an unhealthy preoccupation with sex then it's probably good to take appropriate measures early).
Sex should be between a man and a woman. It should be monogamous. People should learn to channel their entire lustful feelings towards a spouse. Why? Disease of the body and mind often come from a lifestyle of sin.
In this way, we have a special obligation to steward are children in the right direction. It's not so much being nude, it's their thoughts while being nude. If it is just another day in the house when they are naked, then there's not a problem. If the child is uncomfortable or it is making them feel awkward then heck no. And I would say no if they child is dealing with past sexual traumas and has been acting out in response to it.
And a 15 year old boy probably feels safer with clothes on in his house and everywhere. I remember that age and boners occur for no reason at all and won't go away for a period of time. I'm sure he doesnt want his siblings or mother seeing him in that state.
That is sooo wonderful Jacklyn that you've taught your children that nudity isn't anything bad or demonic. Showing with them at an early age and allowing them to be nude in later years let them know that God created a beautiful body for us and we should not ashamed.
My mother taught my sister and I about nudism (and sexuality) at around ages 10 or 12. My parents were nude before we were born and we didn't know any different. I have taught our own daughter that being nude is wonderful feeling. She attended our nudist club from birth and knows no different. She sees people naked of any and all ages.
Continue what you are doing and let your children do what makes them comfortable. That includes you and and doing normal things around home. At some point they will wonder about their bodies and discover masturbation. If they have questions answer in a casual and truthful way. Masturbation is wonderful. Its a very healthy practice that heals one mentally and physically it releases great hormones so we have positive emotions and contributes to feelings of intimacy and social bonding. There's nothing dirty about it and a its great part of nudism.
Amen!
Ca. Coastal.
Jacklyn.
I agree w the two of u .
Its healthy the way u raised them.
P.S. IM from So Ca.
Now reside in Wa.
Much more uptight attitude up here towards nudity
JLTJ, welcome to becoming a published author. True you are anonymous but, by definition you are an author.
I wanna say first that I know how challenging being a single parent is. I was a single parent for four years. God bless you there. I pray that one day you’ll find a man as kind n sexy as my second wife.
Now about your question: In a child psychology course in a church-sponsored college many years ago, my professor said that some nudity around the home is beneficial for the children.
Children who are raised with seeing nudity are generally more comfortable with their body and are likely to not always sexualize nudity. I am referring to both casual nudity or even kids raised by active nudist parents in a nudist lifestyle.
Please understand that I am not condoning any kind of sexual abuse of a child. Some people may think being nude ie non-sexually nude around your kids is abuse but the research shows that is not the case. Nudity is not always sexual!
Living in the same house, accidental instances of a kid walking in when you are just out of the shower or getting dressed etc. are bound to happen. Clearly you have taught your kids well and they nor you would freak out over that. This is good.
So I think you are doing well. Your kids are clearly comfortable with how things are so I wouldn’t change a thing. But I’ll add that kids’ friends or even your friends and/or extended family might not be raised being comfortable around nudity or partial nudity so I would recommend covering up when y’all have visitors.
Welcome! What a great discussion question! My thoughts on this have morphed the last few years, going from never even looking at myself nude in the mirror to embracing the naked human body sexually and nonsexually. I think culture and church tradition have played a lot into how nudity is viewed in Christian America. God designed our bodies, sex parts and all, with creativity and beauty. As far as I can see, there is no negative perception of the body on Scripture. At the very least, couples should be uninhibited with each other about nudity. Song of Solomon makes that epically clear. As to families practicing nudity, I think if they can keep sexual desire apart from simple appreciation, well and good. If it fosters healthy views of the body, of fitness, of health, and of what being human entails in day-to-day life (which differs for men and women), also well and good. Obviously, any kind of inappropriate thoughts or behavior spawned by family members being naked is wrong, especially involving children. But if that is completely absent and everyone involved is on the same page, I can't see a sin there. I said in another post that my pastor preached about God covering Adam and Eve not with animal skins, but with flesh, since their souls were on the outside pre-Fall. I definitely need to study that deeper, but if it's so, the basis for wearing clothes might be dismantled, or at least put in question. You sound like you have fostered a positive view of nudity in your home. It will play a huge part in helping your kids, especially your daughter, to not struggle with body image, to understand and be familiar with the anatomy of both sexes, and to love how God made them. So, until the Lord points out otherwise to me through His Word, I say keep it up!
LLL, I don't think that Genesis 3 should be viewed as a command to wear clothes. Remember, Adam and Eve were afraid, ashamed, and hopeless. They tried sewing leaves as a coping mechanism. Obviously it didn't work too well. Regardless of what you believe God clothed them with, He stepped in made a promise that He would deal sin. He gave hope and comfort when there was none. It's like the Passover but less specific as to how it would happen. Not a legalistic you have to wear clothes now because reasons. Also, it would have been a major blessing to Adam because no guy wants his dong flopping around thorns.
Welcome, Jacklyn! Good to have you. This is a thought provoking post that I appreciate you making.
For background, I grew up in a home where you didn't even see your parents in their underwear if possible. Very sheltered. I would say there's some comparisons between my attitudes and lifestyle and yours. As believers, I think sometimes we treat "cultural" preferences as if they're written in the Scriptures.
But my basic view is that if something isn't sinful, it isn't sinful. Being relaxed or less dressed in your own home, if you aren't doing anything immoral, simply isn't immoral. In fact for me, I know being "repressed" just served to make me more curious about the body of the opposite sex and more insecure in my own. Treating something that is natural and not a big deal as, well, natural and not a big deal, I think can be a huge help in keeping things normal as we go through the changes of life.
I think you as a mom are being quite reasonable. Human beings have parts, we cover those for protection or societal appropriateness, but there's no inherent sin or dirt about the human body. God made all of it, and isn't offended by it, neither should we be, as long as we aren't seeking to cause offense.
Personally, I've always felt that in most cases I'd have to cover up this side of me for a Christian partner, so I understand your struggle. I say wear what you like, it's your home. Even if that's just a thong and a smile.
Where I am on nudity is that God is vocal about nudity that leads to sinsex. Then, He is vocal about nudity that we should be ashamed of. But, then incidental, common, or non-sexual nudity He seems quiet on. Kinda like the church says nudity that causes a sin is wrong, but a Dr. probing a woman's pussy is ok.
I tend to think that households that are more familiar with non-sexual nudity grow to be strong in appropriate boundaries. Not easily baited into judging attitudes over sex & nudity. Anything can go wrong. But, those that properly control the behavior & narrative of the biblical pros & cons, in balance, I see as having better potential for balanced kids.
My dad, my brother, & I always wore just our briefs growing up around our house. Mom never batted an eye. We often saw her in just a night shirt & panties, or sometimes just a bra & panties. I never once thought of my mom in an immoral way.
My wife was raised totally conservative in this regard. Never saw her dad, or brothers, in their undies, always clothed.
I land where it's not so much the behavior, but the narrative. Our marriage has raised our kids with little viewing of each other in just underwear, but much discussion of sex & nudity as God teaches what is proper.
However, too strict of silence & behavior has proven to shock kids into immorality early in life. But, so has overly permissive parenting, too.
Kids need to know God, & His pros & cons, in a healthy positive way. No matter what.
I think another reason this discussion is important is it challenges our understanding of what is Christ following and what is cultural in these matters.
My simplest belief is that if it isn't called sin, then it shouldn't be. That doesn't mean it's appropriate for all or even most, and there are many of these things that are shaped by surrounding culture, societies, and not the Bible itself.
Of course, each person has to decide what's best for their own home and family. But I think a large amount of what we deal with in terms of body image/positivity, and pressure to explore inappropriately might be solved with a different approach.
I was raised very fundamentalist and barely saw my parents do so much as kiss. Which, as life and hormones made their impact, made me feel even more ignorant about the human body and how it all worked. I felt insecure about my body, as though it was viewed as dirty simply for its potential to sin sexually. I felt like I wasn't attractive for not having the media preferred body type. If non sexual nudity had been normal, it might have been different. I wouldn't have been thinking all the time wondering how girls were different "down there" and such. Okay, maybe I'd still be thinking about it half the time, but it's still an improvement…
It's funny to me that radical feminism seems to think that attraction, or appreciation of the body of the opposite sex is bad, a "wrong" to equality, and some extreme forms of Christianity do as well. I think a great disinfectant is sunlight. By taking the nude or lesser clad body from a "dirty' or "sexual" thing and elevating it to the level of created and natural, designed by God for our benefit and pleasure and rich experience of life on this Earth, I think we break down a lot of guilt, shame, and body dysmorphia.
And those decisions don't have to lead us to sin. I would argue that the pressure and guilt can actually function with some as to make them feel like "well, I might as well, because I feel dirty or bad about myself anyways." Whereas, let's say I make the choice to abstain. Knowing I have value, and protecting the long term health and mental outlook on relationships. That's a confident healthy choice. Doing it because I feel dirty, or scared of my masculine energy, or lewd for having a high sex drive, is not a confident or positive choice – it's based in fear.
Another thing people may struggle with is that being nude feels good to them. In other words, it is a "sensual" experience. That doesn't make it sinful. Hot showers, cold drinks on a summer's day, a beautiful sunset, a massage, or being nude, can all be pleasant to the senses God made us with. That doesn't make them inherently sinful or lustful. Just because you enjoy something is not a reason it's wrong.
The Scripture says "God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and love, and a strong mind." I see no reason why the same logical, Creation-positive view of the human body, nudity, and our design and purpose can't fit within that framework and be an example to our fellow Christians and our families.
Excellent topic!
Let me tell you about David Hatton, a published author. He was a nurse in a maternity ward. He helped women pre post and during childbirth. He often had to give spongebaths to them just after thry gave birth. So he saw a lot of nudity but as a nurse he was always professional and never sexual. He said that in all those years he never thought of the women he was washing sexually, only as heroes. David was also a pastor, shepherding a growing congregation. His denomination taught that no man can see a bare shoulder or cleavage or yoka pants and not lust. This discordance of his experience and his church's teaching drove him to the Scriptures. He is now a strong proponent that non-sexual nudity is innocent and actually glorifying to God. I highly recommend his "Who said you were Naked" book as an introductuion to nudity.
I am a practicing nudist and ordained pastor.
Hello Jacklyn, I think you are doing just fine with your kids. I never saw my parents nude or anywhere close to it. BUT they never talked about nudity or sex or masturbation negatively either. Us kids were left to figure it out for ourselves, that was back in the 70s tho. We didn’t do things much different with our kids either. I’m convinced more open communication and life style is better. I think it would have toned down the curiosity and ignorance about that aspect of being human. There is no shortage of reading on the topic now adays. See my comment on https://marriageheat.com/2024/09/27/another-nakedist-venue-l/
Little by little I hope we can change our societies’s messed up aversion to bare skin and body parts and ironically its obsession with bare skin and body parts. We are all the same and we are all a little bit different. Clothes are great sometimes, nudity is great sometimes! We somehow can accept all kinds of violence on tv but you if you were to see a nipple, a dick, or a bare ass you would swear the world is coming to an end! It’s crazy! A search on this site for nude, nudity, naked etc. will get you to a lot of discussion on the topic as well. Anyway, I long for Eden. :}
. See,
Good Nudity November 14, 2016/69 Comments/in Romance/by Stag-on-a-hill
All some very good anwswer, as long as it isn't sexual, I think it's fine. Wearing something, maybe not completely nude is probably the best. Don't be suprised if your 15 year old son gets an occasional erection, at that age, it doesn't take much, seriously.
Growing up, my folks never ran around the house nude, but I did see my mother in her underwear sometimes. And saw her nude by accident a couple of times.
In the summer, I would stay with an aunt sometimes. She had two kids near my age, one girl, one boy. They were more like you describe, summer time, after a bath, her son only wore boxers. My aunt would wear panties and a very thin housecoat that you could see through. It didn't bother me, it was just more relaxed than I was used to for sure. Her daughter would wear a bit more, but not a lot.
NUDITY-Ooooo the freedom it brings! Ours would be described as a nudist home, from sleeping, to sipping morning and evening beverages (on the porch of our country property) and anything around the house. I especially can’t wait to return home after a day of business to shed the clothes and get “out there” to garden! Swimming at the local pool for me would be naked however to be respectful ~as a guy -I do those laps in a 2” Speedo brief. Camping, whether on our property or elsewhere is clothes-less. For me it just gets me back to thinking about what a wonderful God we have and His design and spending time reflecting on just that!
I believe my comfort zone with this lifestyle goes back to when I was about 12 yrs old. I was invited by my 13 yr old guy friend from school-to have dinner at their home. He said his parents wanted him to make it clear to me that they were a nudist family and I didn’t need to accept the dinner invite-if I would feel awkward. I said sure and went. My friend was the only child and upon answering the front door, I certainly knew I was definitely at a unique environment. He said if I wished to keep my clothes on for the evening-that was cool however he said if I wanted to give “it” a try -he would show me to the “designated changing room” where there would be a bag for my stuff. I accepted the offer to “dismount”. A bit awkward at first-yes~ however this family showed me a warm welcome, a delicious dinner that evening and many more, and some of the most fascinating conversations about their worldwide travels in places I’d never heard of before! This began a routine of visits, looking beyond our bodies to engage in the interesting family dinner talks!
While I grew up in a pretty uptight household as a kid, Nowadays I couldn't be any more different. For example, my sister Barb and I will often prance around in the nude during spring and especially summer days just sunning and talking trash about our hubbies.
I have written about Barb in the past; We have a very unique, very open and sexy "anything goes" communication line that often includes sex with our hubbies, masturbation and sometimes exhibitionist practices. It's fun and it always gets us ready for our partners!
Great question. I think family nudity is healthy. And actually important. It’s worth checking out the practice of family nudity in Finland among Christians. Also, I did a number of posts on this issue on Marriage Heat that might be worth reading.
What a wonderful example! You are doing a great job as a parent. We have a relationship with God that was restored by Jesus on the cross, so we are free to be naked and unashamed once more. Keeping it natural and normal is doing your kids a great service and numerous studies have shown than it is actually beneficial.
Sounds like you are raising them with a healthy attitude toward their bodies and even yours. The glimpses of my parents bodies as I grew up were accompanied by the feeling it was wrong. I decided that like you showering together while young was normal. I don’t parade nude, but if any of us sees the other naked, which happens, no one feels like they have to shriek in terror or hastily cover up. It even has lead to good discussion of how bodies vary and change. Are there occasional odd feelings when my son sees me naked? Or I see him as teen age boys often are? Yes but there should not be it’s all natural and how God made us. Privacy and hiding our bodies is not how things were in the distant past when we lived in one room homes and witnessed everything as we grew up.
Bee here:
I’m not opposed to this idea, I don’t have children-nor can I. However, I was once a teenage girl being raised by a very broken single mother. Please for the love of God, if you’re going to be inviting people over, especially adult men, give your daughter a heads up. You sound like a mom with your head on straight, but not only would my mother not warn me, she’d get upset when I’d toss on a hoodie or longer shorts when ‘guests’ would come over. I’ve definitely shared on here that I became a stripper as soon as I turned 18, what I haven’t shared on here is that one of the big initial reasons was: I might as well get paid for it. Just a heads up, keep your kids in church!
As a man whose hormones kicked in at 13, I'd have loved to see a naked woman for the first time back then…but I also would've felt completely freaked out if it had been my mother. The first time I ever saw a woman topless was by accident, when I opened by Grandma's bedroom door without knocking – it turns out she was changing her shirt and I quickly went the other way. Not counting my later porn addiction, the first woman I saw completely nude was my ex-girlfriend, in 2001.
Studies show kids growing up where nudity is no big deal have healthier body image. Our home was much the same. Showering them until about 8. Never hiding but never flaunting. They saw me nude on occasion until they left for college and it was never an issue. If you act like seeing them or them seeing you is no big deal it won’t be. If you act like it is forbidden you may scare them.
We always thought it was important to show our kids that there is nothing wrong with nudity. When they were very little my wife would shower with them and our bathroom door was always open. Like many parents this stopped as they reached school age. By that age it's kind of baked into the cake anyway.
They are gone now, but when they were home it was not uncommon for them to go around the house in their underwear not as a rule but they did on occasion or at lease felt free to do so. They never did go nude in front of each other or us (a little modesty doesn't hurt either).
My wife and I are not nudists in the classical sense, but we do go to resorts that allow for nudity and we enjoy it. We don't practice it in our house nor do our friends know that we take a long weekend and get naked every so often.
To us, nudity has a lot to do with freedom and letting go a little bit to unwind. I hope we shared a bit of that understanding with our kids.
My sister married into a nudist family. Her now husband told her about it on their 3rd date. By the end of the second date she already knew God wanted her to marry him. She said it was a bit awkward meeting her future in-laws for the first time and they weren't wearing clothes. She said her father in-law hosts a weekly bible study in the nude. She said it was quite the experience the first time sitting around the living room naked with family and strangers talking about Jesus.
She has since invited us to join them, which we did, and go on vacation with them. Nothing inappropriate happens nor comments made. They are normal God-fearing people who otherwise don't wear clothes most of the time.
My husband and I aren't nudists but sometimes during the summer if we're not expecting company or going out we won't get dressed. We don't have kids so it's not that big of a deal other than the constant groping 🙂
Jacklyn
I commend you on raising your kids to be body positive! I would encourage you to keep it up. Even to the point where you may be completely naked from time to time and welcoming questions from your children about their bodies (and your body) as they develop. Then be proactive as you teach them about their sexuality so that YOU are in control of this part of their education, not leaving it to others.
I second that and also think that its healthy
Nudity in itself is not a sin. What makes it a sin is up for debate. Adam and Eve of course were nude but then covered themselves up out of embarrassment.
It's the fact that we all born into sin and live in a world full of sin.
Yes we're all naked under our clothes that's a fact. But that's also a fact that there's a time in life when a child becomes aware of their sexuality. And the fact that they feel comfortable being naked around you might carry over to being comfortable in the presence of somebody else who might be given to a more nefarious thought process.
Kids are developing and their understanding of sexuality. And there are a lot of things that we unfortunately get taught which are wrong.
This can go both ways. Some people will be too liberal in what's allowed and what sex is about. Some people will be too restrictive calling everything a sin.
Your son is well into his teens now. Walking around naked in front of a sister or your own mother or your own father if it was a girl is opening the door for sexual temptation and inappropriate behavior.