Finally, the Night

Trigger Warning: This story involves overcoming the effects of sexual abuse. 

Hallie looked at herself in the mirror.  She knew she was ready.  Her hair, long and dark brown, with highlights from being out so much in the sun, fell in silky waves over her shoulders and down her back.  She was wearing a nightgown—or maybe negligee would be more fitting of a name.  It was almost completely sheer, white enough to add some mystery, and low-cut.  Though she didn’t have large breasts, hers were healthy and held up nicely by the built-in bra.  Her body was tan, slim, and fit.  Exercising every day for the past six years had really been worth it.  Her molded legs, which she’d waxed this afternoon, were oiled and smooth.  And her face? Well, it wasn’t beautiful by Hollywood standards, but the skin was clear from daily application of aloe and raw honey, the makeup was simple and light, the teeth were white, and the eyes looked larger because of the unassertive false eyelashes and the dim light of the room.

Maybe it was bold to go to Chip’s room like this.  If she wasn’t married to him, she’d be acting just like a whore.  But she was his wife, and over a week ago, she had come to the peaceful decision that she would be his completely.

For the past ten months she had been his in name, ever since he laid out his unexpected proposal.  She remembered the whole strange situation as if it happened earlier today.

At the time she’d been secretary to a prominent businessman, Roy Garson.  This was 1958 and some of these old family-owned companies wielded power like an empire.  And whatever the great magnate wanted, he got.  In his case, he wanted Hallie.  The situation troubled her, since she could easily read the lust in his eyes when she came to the office every day, but her family needed the money.  She decided to stay on and keep her wolfish boss at bay.

But Mr. Garson wouldn’t be put off.  Like so many of the wealthy suburbanite class to which he belonged, he was bored and wanted spice.  One day he slipped a mickey into the juice she’d had at lunch and discreetly took her to his home.  There he raped her.

Hallie could only thank God time and again that she’d been mostly out of it.  To live twenty-seven years as a pure woman, saving every inch of herself for her future husband, and then have all her innocence ripped away by a man overtaken by lust was horrible and degrading enough.  But though the memory of that repulsive night was muddled, her body couldn’t forget.  As if by instinct she tried to hide her figure from the eyes of all men; it seemed the only way to protect her womanhood.

She tried to avoid Garson in the following weeks, but he dogged her steps, trying to force her affection whenever they had a moment alone.  He practically demanded that she marry him, threatening her with exposure of her “loose” morals if she didn’t.  Hallie was distressed and confused.  How could she combat a man of his standing? No one would believe her if she accused him of assaulting her.  The Garson name was old and respected.  Yet she showed a fiery streak every time he attempted to touch her.  He gave up on that pretty fast.

Not long after, Hallie discovered she was pregnant and things really got complicated.  How Garson found out about the baby she didn’t know, but he sent her a message at her apartment one night with an ultimatum: either she marry him and acknowledge him the father or abort it.  He would never risk the public finding out that he had fathered a child illegitimately.

As a Christian, Hallie knew she couldn’t choose either path.  But she was scared.  She was able to get a short vacation – Garson had grace enough to grant that – and went out of town to her parents’ home.  She confided everything to them.  Her father began the search for a good lawyer.  Unfortunately Roy Garson was taking extra precautions.  He had friends, even among the mobs, and pretty soon Hallie and her family were receiving threats.  Garson’s attorneys personally called on her, pressuring her to make a decision.  Hallie and her parents began to pray.  They needed the Lord’s intervention.

That’s when Chip McCord stepped into the picture.  He was a lawyer, a brilliant one, and heard about the case when a colleague recommended he defend Hallie.  From the first second she came into his office, he found her to be the sweetest, warmest, gentlest young woman he’d ever seen.

Then came several weeks of intense planning and research.  There must be a way to defeat the tycoon.

Chip was forty-three at this stage and had been waiting and praying for the right woman all his life.  It didn’t take him long to realize that God had brought her in the person of Hallie.  He didn’t know if she would consider marriage; after all, she’d been raped and might have an understandable vendetta against men, or at least against sex.  But his love, plus his longing to protect this vulnerable woman, culminated in a proposal.

Hallie smiled, moved afresh as she recalled it.  He had put it simply: he loved her, admired her faith, warmth, and courage, and wanted to be the man to guard and cherish her, if she would let him.  He also found that Garson would have no grounds for attacking her if she married someone else; her child would bear her new husband’s name.  But, he added, he would demand nothing of her.  He understood her pain and knew healing must come with time and God’s grace.  He would protect and provide for her if she came to live in his home and took his name, but she would have her own rooms and never have to fear him forcing himself on her.

God’s hand had been clear.  There was no other way to save her family or her child.  So Hallie married Chip and went to live with him.  In a weird way, it was a dream come true.  He had a Mediterranean-style villa close to the beach, the type of house she’d always loved and hoped to live in if she ever got married.  Since he was a lawyer, he was very well off financially and had a housekeeper.  Hallie wouldn’t have to cook or exert herself too much as her pregnancy progressed.

Morning sickness assailed her a great deal, leaving her weak and pale.  Still she pursued a healthy lifestyle to the best of her ability, and Chip helped in that.  Often he persuaded her to sit out in the sun beside the pool and drink in vitamin D.  On weekends he took her sailing in his boat.  Many a time he caught and held her eye, causing her heart to skip a little.  She had no idea that she was so lovely with the sunset on her face and the sea wind riffling her hair.  Yet other than that look which sometimes softened his eyes, there was no evidence of Chip’s attraction to her.  He never got too close or touched her unnecessarily.  She silently thanked him each time she saw the proof of his consideration.

The Lord’s ways are so often not ours, as Hallie discovered.  Three months after her marriage to Chip, she slipped on the wood floors of the second story landing and fell down the stairs.  Maybe she would only have had a bruised back and slight concussion once upon a time, but the accident was too much for her baby.  It didn’t survive.

Yet how gentle, how tender Chip was in the following days and months! That first day after losing the baby, she was lying in the hospital bed, recovering, when Chip hurried in.  He’d been away on a business trip but flew back the minute Hallie’s parents called him.  He scooped her softly in his arms and held her while she cried.  Cried and apologized.  She felt that his sacrificial marriage to help her and her child was all for nothing.  He had given her so much in order to provide a name and protection for her baby, and now there was no baby.  Chip refuted every argument she came up with, reaffirming that he loved her, no matter how many children she did or didn’t have.  In fact, he was fine if they never had children.  Hallie was so comforted.

So, since that day, Chip’s kindness and thoughtful comfort had absolutely won her.  Of course, she’d already given him all her respect and gratitude, not to mention the love of one Christian for another.  And this past week the Lord showed her that this good man to whom she was married was worthy of all of her.  Her God in His mercy had healed her.  She was ready.  Finally, the night had come.

The hallway was softly lit by the pretty lamp sconces on the walls, and walking barefoot over the thick carpet was a treat to Hallie’s feet.  At Chip’s door she stopped.

“Dear Lord, help me show him that I love him,” she prayed in a whisper.  Then she knocked.

Three or four seconds passed, in which Hallie figured that Chip must be surprised at having a nighttime visitor.  She’d never come to his door before.  Then the knob turned and the door opened.  Chip saw her and something pleased and surprised livened up his face, while his eyes at once raced to her seductively-dressed body; evidently the sight startled and attracted him.  But he quickly forced himself to return his focus to her face.

“Hallie!” he said in that rich, masculine voice.

For a second Hallie just took him in with her eyes.  He was the picture of old-fashioned manliness, just what she admired and so rarely saw.  Tall and graceful, always clean-shaven, with thick brown hair and the keenest of blue eyes, he reminded her a bit of actor Richard Crenna.  At the moment he was in the stage of undressing for the night and stood in his undershirt, trousers, and socks.  The burnished tan of his hardened, muscular skin begged to be touched by Hallie’s fingers.

“Hello, Chip,” she finally spoke.

“Come in.  Are you all right?” he asked, allowing her to step in.

She did, turning to look him right in the face.

“Yes,” she assured him.  Then, her voice firm but a mist of feeling in her eyes, she spoke her heart.  “Chip, I want you to know…because of your kindness, your love, your…sacrifice in giving me time to heal, waiting, holding back in spite of how hard it was, I have come to love you as I never thought possible for a human being.”

A peculiar flash of awakening passed over Chip’s face.  He slowly approached her.

Hallie went on.  “The Lord gave me a man I thought couldn’t exist.  I am…honored to be your wife, and I came to tell you that…” and she paused as he stopped inches away from her, looking down with a tender, flaming longing in his eyes.  His very presence seemed to pull her closer to him, and she finished, “I want to be yours, all the way.”

For several seconds Chip seemed too overwhelmed to answer, but his fingers wandered to her warm bare arms.  Then, they connected as if by magnetism.  His hands grasped her slender waist, and hers rubbed and grasped his shoulders and back.

“Oh, Hallie!” Chip whispered, just as his mouth slid across her cheek and found her lips.

It was Hallie’s first kiss, the first one given to the man she loved, and she just about melted.  The passion, the heat, all tangled up with this indescribable gentleness, filled her with a fire that longed for more.  Her mouth sought every crevice of his, her brain vaguely taking in the closeness of his fine nose and strong chin and cheeks, every quiver of his lips hot and powerful over hers.

His hands clasped her, stroking her back and arms and shoulders as if he must memorize every centimeter of her skin this second.  She on her part felt the delightful freedom of marriage suddenly overtake her, and ran her hands through his hair.  Oh, how she’d dreamed over the years of doing this to her future husband! And Chip’s hair was alluring in itself; it was thick, only faintly graying, and most likely the type that wouldn’t thin with age.

“Thank You, Lord Jesus!” Chip suddenly breathed, his face lifted for a moment to the ceiling.  “How I’ve waited for this night!” and his eyes, soft and tender in the low light, turned back to Hallie’s.  “I love you, Hallie.  Oh, it’s been worth the wait! You’re so beautiful…so soft and glowing…”

Words had to stop when his lips covered hers again.  The kiss was growing fiery, almost wild.  Hallie’s legs were trembling and a delicious burning in her slit flamed up.  She wanted to turn to liquid and become one with his body.  She knew he desired the same thing when her hand wandered and touched the hard bulge in the front of his pants.

Maybe the deep intimacy of the move startled her, because it suddenly sent the fire to her face.  A soft groan of pleasure was his only response though, so she continued to touch it.  And he – intuitive man that he was – reached his own fingers up under her negligee and caressed her inner thigh, climbing up towards her labia.  Feeling his touch there sent shivers, almost convulsions, through Hallie’s entire being.  Thank God she couldn’t remember that other time a man had touched her that way.  This was pure and good, and so incredibly unbelievable.  Once the very thought of a man touching her would have made her blush, ashamed and embarrassed.  But not anymore.  She understood now what God meant when He told man to “be ravished with the wife of his youth”.  It went for a woman too.  How ravished she was with this wildly strong and handsome man!

Slowly, almost unconsciously, lost in the madness of the kissing and touching, the two had been nearing the bed, as if by an unspoken agreement that this was the place to go.

“Hallie…I want to be part of you!” Chip murmured in her ear.  His lips had strayed down her neck and into her hair and his fingers increased their titillating maneuvers around her labia.

Hallie’s hands, warm and supple with passion, had crept up under Chip’s shirt.  In a second she helped him pull it off, revealing his strong, semi-hairy chest.  The mere sight filled her with a holy desire and she pressed her lips again and again to his pectorals and down his firm torso.

“I’m mad for you,” she whispered, straightening again and kissing his neck.

“You’re making me mad just by saying that,” he answered, his breath coming fast.  His hands slipped under the silky straps of her negligee, sliding them off her shoulders.  In a moment the white gown had fallen to her feet and Hallie stood there, completely naked.  The look in Chip’s eyes can’t be described.  He gazed at her, almost in disbelief.  This woman of natural, simplistic beauty, offering her body so wistfully, so innocently, was his!

With his arms easily supporting her, Chip lowered her down onto the bed, pausing for a long second to look into her eyes.

“Are you ready?” he asked quietly.

A tiny but certain smile flitted around her lips.  “Yes.  Take me.”

They kissed again, Hallie’s hands fumbling with his as they unbuttoned and removed his trousers.  She felt a slight tingle of nervousness at sight of his shaft, hard and thick and, to her eyes, pretty long.  But the confidence in his eyes settled her.  She opened her legs, inviting him into her most priceless, secret place.

Her slit was hot and wet from the excitement.  There was hardly any pain, yet she still let out a gasp, almost a cry.  Chip groaned in pure ecstasy.  He was inside his wife, his manhood enveloped by her womanhood.  Dropping his sweating face against her neck and grasping her shoulders, he began to gently rotate his hips.  Hallie thought she might faint.  She was melting, on fire, wet all over from sweat and arousal…how could this sensation be described in meagre words? To have her husband actually filling her, every flex of his muscles sizzling and potent against the cushions of her vagina, utterly overwhelmed her.  She found herself weeping.  It was soft, easily mistaken for the expected gasps of lovemaking, but real.  Somehow Chip’s mouth on hers as she cried made it all the more tender and physical.

“Oh Hallie…Hallie! You’re so…so good…you feel so…damn good!” Chip gasped.  He typically didn’t use language like that, but he’d lost control of his senses.

“Yes…yes! So do you…oh, it’s so sexy when you…say that!” Hallie answered amidst her wild panting.

Chip pulled his shaft partly out, then shoved back in, not too roughly.  He repeated it, speeding up a bit each time.  It was easy to see that they both were nearing that waterfall of euphoria.  Hallie began to quiver, her entire pelvic region convulsing.

“Oh Chip! Chip! Chip! I’m…I’m going over! I feel it! Oh, it’s so good! Yes, yes, yes!”

His voice broke through his quickened breathing.  “So am I…it’s coming…I’m coming with you…Hallie…oh Hallie!” and as his butt muscles tautened and his hands gripped hers with the force of steel, his shaft tightened and unleashed semen in bursts.  Hallie felt him pulsing within her body.  It was magnificent.

Their cries and gasps lowered to deep inhales and intoxicated sighs.  Both felt the blanket of peaceful post-sex weariness settle over them.  Chip kissed Hallie’s neck, moving up to her lips.  Now his kisses were long and gentle and soft, different from the fire of just a few minutes ago.  She ran her fingers through his hair, her eyes delighting in the tender tiredness of his face, glorying in the feeling of her skin against his, warm and damp.

“I have never been so happy, so blest,” she said softly as he backed away enough to look squarely into her face.

His little finger touched her nose.  “Me neither.  This has been the most glorious night of my life, and I thank God that it’s you I share it with.”  He paused, his warm blue eyes roving over her features.  “Making love to you…it’s everything I dreamed of.  I am so madly in love with you, Hallie.  I love you.”

“And I love you.”

Finally, the night of first love had come to Hallie.

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3 replies
  1. LovingMan says:

    LovelyLonelyLady, you are an excellent writer! This was beautiful dine and struck a chord with my wife & I. We were both victims of childhood sexual abuse… her abuse was far more extensive than mine. When we married we did not wait months but we did wait a day. And our first full lovemaking was glorious!

    I loved how you made it clear that Hallie was innocent and pure. The victims of sexual violence are NEVER guilty! Finally I was impressed with how Chip had a complete understanding of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.

    Everything about this story is so well written! I was so angry at the evil boss yet so grateful for Chip and his Christlike attitude!
    Please keep writing!

    P.S. If you are single as your name implies, I hope you know that there ARE some good kind men of faith out there.

  2. LovingMan says:

    I want to clarify that the reason I said that Chip understands the Atonement of Jesus Christ is because he seemed to have faith that the Atonement would help heal his wife from her sexual trauma. I was NOT implying that she was guilty of anything. (My wife, Melodie, read my comment and wanted to make sure I was clear on this.)

    For Melodie and I, it was therapy, love and kindness to each other, & the Atonement that healed us so we could have a vibrant sexual relationship with each other in our marriage!

    I also re-read this excellent story and saw some more similarities to us… including that Melodie’s first orgasm was when we first made love on the second day of our honeymoon!

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