So many times I think back and try to remember a day when my mind and heart were not consumed with love for you. To remember the time I didn’t know you. I can’t. Although it has only been 3 years since we met and 6 months since we were married I cannot remember my life without you.
Our first night together I was so scared. I was nervous and even more afraid of what you might think of me. Not because I was a virgin. I was not but that was not my choice. I had come from a situation few would understand and even fewer would ever know. I had children from a very early age and never knew how to trust a man. These children you so lovingly now call your own. They even favor you in appearance. It’s neat that God has even redeemed that part of my life.
Forever I believed that I would love no one and even more would be loved by no one. I learned about the lover from Song of Solomon and thought that only God would be the lover of my soul. Then I met you.
We have learned about each other, we have grown; we have shared differences, even different cultures.. and together we have grown to love each other and committed to each other and now here we are…..it is our first night.
I lay under the covers trying to sleep. We are so tired from being at the airport and in the traffic and even more I am adjusting to a new country, your country.
I feel your warm hands caress my back so lovingly, tenderly. You promised me that it would never be the same as before. No pain, no hurting because you would love me gently, slowly and would teach me what I was meant to feel and not fear.
You turn me towards you and draw me close. Your lips ravish mine as we lock in what seems like a moment of bliss..your tongue touches mine and announces its undying love to me…my mouth, my neck. You kiss my face and as you continue downward your hand grazes my bosom. I feel a tingling have never felt. As you continue kissing me you hands make circular movements over my now erect nipples and I feel a wave come over my body.
You suck on them so lovingly then harder and harder like a child vigorously searching for something to eat. Back and forth you change breasts as you nip one and tweak my nipples between your fingers all the while sucking and biting on the other..the fear starts to subside and a love I have never felt comes over me. What I have so fought in the past I desire with you, my husband, my love.
I hear your whispers in my ear…”My darling I love you”, I want to make love to you and we be as one”. My body responds although I am silent.
You place your hands on my waist and pull me on to you as you continue to kiss and caress and touch me . I feel your manhood against me and know your desires are growing….
Your hands continue downward as I start to feel overwhelmed…with emotions, desires and some fear..as if you have read my thoughts you say “I will never hurt you… you can tell me to stop at any time and I will. I will never do anything you do not want me to OK? I nod my head to you knowing you have spoken words of truth to me…you are my husband and you love me more than even I know.
I start to feel you part my legs as you slide down the bed. You kiss a trail down my tummy and then my belly button and soon to that place I thought only brought pain….as I start to fade amongst conflicting feeling I hear you gently say ” Now stay here with me and feel how God created for you to be loved.” As if someone poured warm oil all over me I felt a rush of sensations as he kissed my mound and proceeded to give me oral worship. I thought I would explode as feelings I never before felt rushed over me in waves.
Soon his lips were kissing my body and exploring. As you came up to my chin you laid your head upon my chest and say “you doing ok??” For the first time in my life I reply…yes sweetheart I am….I want to make love to you. Your eyes glaze over with tears and you caress my cheek softly placing a kiss. I feel you pulling yourself closer as you place your manhood directly over my mound. You lower your head and kiss me passionately as you plunge yourself into me all at once…thrusting softly yet deeply. I cannot imagine any pain yet beautiful oneness with the man I love.
Our bodies move together as if you were created for me and I for you. The heights increase and soon we are moving to a melody that I have never heard played before. I caress your back your shoulders and wantingly open myself for you to come in more. There is no fear. I am here completely and feeling you inside me
Soon the thrusting slows as I feel a warmth fill me…we breathe like our breath has been stolen and our bodies spent. I look into your dark brown eyes and see love….compassion and my future. Then with grin that can only described as a cheshire grin you say to me…..”So would you like to try that again?” As I tickle you on your side a bit, I am sure to say “With you, my one and only”.
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