Body Image- Out of the Dark
Jai blinked away tears as she stared at her nude reflection in the full length mirror. She’d recently lost weight and had been feeling better about appearance than she had in years, but no amount of reduced fat would erase the stretched out skin on her belly, the wrinkly creases just above her pubic area, and the stretch marks that riddled across her abdomen.
“Sexiness isn’t a perfect body,” she muttered. “It’s confidence.”
But even as the words passed her lips, her shoulders drooped. How could she present such a body—especially with the lights on, or worse, “on top,”—and feel confident. Men were visual creatures. Flaws…deformities…were not a turn-on.
She imagined it would have been different had her son been the product of her union with her husband, Robert, who had rescued her from single motherhood. But since he wasn’t, her post-pregnancy body was a neon sign that she was used… damaged.
Of course, Robert didn’t feel that way. He told her she was beautiful. He even said she was beautiful thirty-five pounds ago, which Jai still couldn’t wrap her head around. For years, she hadn’t really cared about her appearance; working 3 jobs and trying to rear a God-fearing pre-adolescent boy hadn’t left much time or motivation to worry about her appearance.
But now things were different. Now Robert had come into their lives and Jai found herself married to the man of her dreams. She’d lost weight for the wedding, but the honeymoon, while wonderful, was “vanilla.”
She knew Robert wanted more. He deserved more. But how could she give him what he desired when she was filled with so much shame?
It’s no use, she thought. It would be lights out again, perhaps a candle or two. She opened her lingerie drawer and pulled out a typical black baby doll. Disregarding its accompanying tiny thong, she dug around for a pair of lacy panties—the extra material would cover her lower belly.
Rustling though her drawer, she felt a soft diaphanous fabric against her skin. She pulled it out and discovered the sheer black sarong she wore over her bathing suit.
Suddenly she straightened. What if…
She slipped into the thong but tensed at the wrinkly skin and post-pregnant paunch that fell over the top of the flimsy inverted-triangle. She closed her eyes, wishing she could erase the image from her mind…and more importantly from Robert’s. “It doesn’t matter,” she said, taking a deep breath. “He finds me beautiful. I am more than my body. He loves me. Jai. He loves Jai…her breasts, her legs, her face, her hair. I mean, my,” she corrected herself, realizing she’d started referring to herself in the third person again, as though she dissociated herself from the packaging God gave her. “He loves my breasts, my legs, my face, my hair.”
She opened her eyes, and looked straight ahead into the mirror. “Sexy is not flawless. Sexy is confident.”
Throwing her shoulders back, she tied the sarong diagonally across her hips, emphasizing the narrow waistline she’d achieved after months of forsaking chocolate and pizza. Though sheer, the fabric disguised the paunch…in fact, it looked quite sexy…more like a prop that could add visual interest, rather than something that masked a flaw.
Climbing onto the bed, she pretended to straddle her husband and proceeded to wriggle out of the thong while keeping the sarong in place. It worked. A sense of relief replaced the shame she’d been feeling and a wave of confidence overtook her. If she was actually going to be fully naked sans a sheer sarong, perhaps she should have some jewelry.
A smile flittered across her face. She reached for her grandmother’s pearls and chuckled at the sight of them dangling between her breasts. “What would grandma think?” she laughed. Next she slipped into her highest black heels, then stepped back to admire the whole ensemble and gave a nod of approval.
Jai said nothing of her plans when Robert came home, and after her son left to spend the weekend with his father, the two of them shared a typical Friday evening together. After they finished snuggling to a movie, they made their way upstairs for the night. Robert climbed into bed, but Jai slipped into the bathroom where her sarong, pearls, and heels were hiding in the closet.
She rubbed an almond scented lotion—Robert’s favorite—all over her skin, then donned her outfit. After a quick gaze in the mirror, she took a deep breath and entered the bedroom.
Robert glanced up from his book and smiled. “Wow.”
Jai smiled at his enjoyment and straddled him, taking the book from his hands. “You have too many clothes on.”
“Indeed I do.”
She helped him slip out of his shirt and then his boxers. He was already growing hard, and she slithered down his body and took his solidly thickened member into her mouth. He moaned as she circled her tongue around the tip, then took his cock deep inside her mouth once more. When he was fully hard, she sat up on her knees, sultrily took off her heels, then wriggled out of her thong. Straddling his hips, she moved her naked core up and down his engorged manhood. His warm hands cupped her breasts, and her eyes closed at his touch. The pearls felt cold against her chest, her skin broke out in gooseflesh, and her nipples hardened. She grew wetter and wetter as she moved up and down against his shaft and the swollen moist bulge of his glands. Wet and aching, she could take it no longer, and guided him inside her.
Robert watched her hips rising up and down around him, as Jai knew he would. She glanced down at her body and was relieved to see the sarong still in place around her belly, yet quite open just beneath her hip bones, allowing a view of their penetration.
“You are so beautiful,” Robert gasped between upward thrusts.
A wave of confidence swept over Jai, and she arched her back, raising her arms over her head, running her fingers through her hair. She felt Robert inside her, his hands on her breasts, and her hair caressing her lower back. She moved in rhythm with him, watching his pleasure, overjoyed to have been able to give him such visual stimulation. “I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you too,” he said, his head tilting back in ecstasy.
His pleasure heightened her own, and she felt her body swell with delight. His hands traveled down her sides over her hips and down her thighs…back and forth, again and over again. She pushed against him even deeper, then felt his fingers feeling for her twitching clitoris. Her body exploded at his touch, and she almost lost her balance in the ecstasy. He pulled her close to him and she felt his chest heaving beneath her. His hands traveled through her hair, down her back, and cupped her bottom.
Then his lips found hers and the combined stimulation—of his penis against her tender vulva, his hands on her butt, her breasts against her chest, and now his lips against hers—was too much. She moaned in delight as the orgasm overtook her. She clutched his shoulders, panting and heaving. His breathing changed and he pulled her even deeper, gasping as he too came.
They lay against each other, relaxed and satiated. Robert’s fingers gently wound around a lock of her hair. “Favorite person,” he said quietly.
Jai smiled into his chest. “And you are mine.”
He leaned over and turned off the lamp. She lay against him for a long time, feeling the light caress of his fingers on her back. She snuggled even closer, breathing in his scent. How she loved this man. She was so grateful for him, and absolutely delighted she’d found an opportunity to show him just how much.
On top and with the lights on…would wonders never cease? Perhaps someday, she’d even feel confident without the sarong.
Marriage Heat welcomes Cecelia James who contributed this marriage erotica story. Like her facebook page.
Body Image Resources
Body Image struggles are being faced by women all over our world. Cecelia James brings us a realistic insight into body image struggles. She also illustrates an inspiring response to those body image self-messages that hold women back. There are some great resources on improving your body image. Check out HealthyPlace.com.
There are several books on body image that get high marks at Amazon
Share your comments on how you are overcoming body image struggles. Please comment on these and any other body image issue.
How do I feel good about my body image after pregnancy?
How do I forgive my husband for some body image off comment?
How do I build confidence to overcome body image struggles?
How do I stop comparing my body image to the media’s body image profiling?
What little story can I share that bring a little humor to the body image struggles?
God made your body image and you were made in the image of God (Genesis 3)