sexy attitude

Sexy Attitude – Keeping It Hot and Lasting

Sexy Attitude – We go to a large church.  A while ago, I talked to the head of the Divorce Care ministry which ministers to a large number of divorcees. I asked what would you say is the number one reason for divorce. Without flinching he said, “Affairs.”  I asked what is the number one reason for affairs. With out flinching he said,  “In 85 percent of the cases, sexual intimacy had died.” This made me really take notice.

I was worried. Was my marriage heading for an affair or divorce? My sex drive has always been low and my husband’s high. I knew that he was sexually frustrated, and it was affecting our relationship. I didn’t understand and honestly did not appreciate how much he needs sex and oneness with me and that not getting it affects everything he does. Were we heading for a divorce?

I had basically stopped thinking about sex in a positive light, I have never been abused or anything like that IT JUST WASN’T IMPORTANT TO ME AT ALL.

No Sexy Attitude! Things I did that made it worse.

1. If he would ask for sex during the day and I would sometimes give him hope, subtly, but hope nonetheless, and then I would stay up late or have a headache or any of the other excuses that I thought would work to get me out of it.  He told me that was the worst!  He would be excited all day thinking of the time we would spend together that night, and then have everything crushed.

2. I started taking naps after dinner so I could stay up late.  He would try to stay up with me, but would get frustrated when I wouldn’t come to bed.

3. I got addicted to movies, any kind.  We got Netflix and I got my money’s worth.

4. When he mentioned that he would just start masturbating, I told him that I thought it was wrong.  During our discussions he did say that he had masturbated anyway, but it only sometimes gave him sexual release, and it never gave the emotional fulfillment he needed.

Ladies, I bet some of you are wondering if he ever got addicted to porn.  My husband admitted he looked at porn and was very open about it.  He said he hated that he was looking at it, but it was at the time the only outlet he had for some positive visualization.  He has a few close friends that discussed porn. He brought it up and they all agreed that they hated it, but they had also looked because there was something wrong with their marriages.

My husband told me this and it really hit home.  He said, “It was sad that I would surf for hours at a time, but never see what I wanted, because what I wanted was downstairs watching movies.”  I could have helped him never bring porn into our marriage, if I would have been there as his wife. I had a pity party about this. And I had a “You are a pervert” reaction too. But I realized that If I wanted him to keep away from porn, an affair or a lukewarm marriage, we needed to make some changes.


So, this is what we came up with.  Our goal was to put the fun back in our sex life.

Our ground rules were simple, shun porn, no third parties, no backdoor intercourse, and have a great sexy attitude.

In last YEAR, we were having sex often and I was really enjoying it too. It is amazing what a sexy attitude will do.

Sexy Attitude – Lingerie and clothing
Even if you are overweight your husband will love seeing you in those boy shorts panties or thongs. He loves your body, big or small and so should you.  He will go crazy over the see through, crotchless, or open bra items especially if you present yourself for him to inspect.  You can easily make your own sexy wear with a pair of scissors and some imagination. Cut a tank top off so that the bottom half (just below your nipple) of your breast are exposed sometimes.    Even your work clothes can be sexy if you remember it’s not necessarily the article of clothing that is important, but the sexy attitude underneath it.

I had hang ups in this area, but saving my marriage meant changing my dress. I would never let myself go in fear that someone might see me, forgetting that dress was an important tool in the arsenal of a married woman to make her guy crazy. Who cares if someone sees me and notices me? GOOD FOR THEM.

I also had a habit of calling attention to my “weak” features, THAT FAT OR STRETCH MARK.  Now I am calling attention to my body in a sexual way. I do not have the greatest body, but I will tell you that featuring what you have in a sexy way will drive your husband wild. If I caress my tits in front of my husband and let myself get excited, I see an immediate hard on. Put your fingers down your pants and lick your fingers. My point. Husbands like a visual show. And you know what…it is fun! A sexy attitude makes you alive again in your marriage.

I am not in as good of shape as he is, I’m working on it, but I’m probably still 40 lbs overweight.  I got most of it eating snacks late at night while watching movies, oops.  Anyway, he has always enjoyed watching me get dressed, so now I will give him a show.  Instead of getting dressed in my closet, I will come out and put my foot up on the bed and ask him to put moisturizer on my legs where I have shaved, and then make sure he has a clear view of my sex.  I sometimes ask him to make sure I’m dry and get him to lick any remaining shower water from my mound.  He also loves to see me bend over so that he can see my bum hole and my vaginal lips at the same time.

Sexy Attitude – Sex Toys
Many girls are reluctant to buy toys, I was, but this has worked very well for us.  Go to your favorite on-line toy store and give each other a dollar budget or a quantity budget for each month.  I have really come to enjoy them, especially the remote control ones you can wear under your clothes.  Sometimes I secretly put them on and hand my husband the remote as we enter a restaurant, or sometimes he requests that I wear them, but either way we have a great time.

Agree to test drive what ever the other one buys for a month; he will love you for this.  Buy some of the silly games too; it will help each of you loosen up. Use the toys when he is not there if he is comfortable with that.

Sexy Attitude -Masturbation
Let him watch you masturbate!! Guys are visual creatures, give him a free show, or make him pay, and he will.  Guys love to watch their wives masturbate.  Use some of your new toys, use your pillow or just your fingers.  You will get hotter and hotter with the knowledge of how you are turning him on.  Remember to caress your breasts too, this drives them nuts.  If you can’t have sex for what ever reason for a while, tell him it’s ok to masturbate as long as he thinks of you and no other.  Then give him something to think about.  I let him take photos of me nude.  I keep the disk in a locked box and give it to him when I have to go out of town for a few days.  He has to promise not to copy them to his computer, and of course not share them with anyone.

More on Masturbation

Ask him if he minds if you masturbate when he is gone. Is it ok if you masturbate when he is sleeping next to you? My husband loves it. He loves to wake up to me masturbating. Then he just rams it into me and I love it. He is a happy man all day after that start.

Sexy Attitude – Sex Positions
Try them all, there are some that only gymnasts can do, and many I can’t orgasm at, but you will have fun playing.  There are plenty of books or websites, just be careful not to get too caught up in the images, remember its sexy attitude.

Sexy Attitude – Oral Sex
This was a huge topic around our house.  For many guys this is the quintessential sexual act.  At first I didn’t really get it, there was the smell, the taste, and I didn’t want to taste myself on his kiss.  But my husband explained to me how important it was to him, so I agreed to give it a try. After we did a little how-to research, I can say, WOW, I’m glad I tried it.

My first orgasm orally was my first multiple, and it was one I will never forget.  I got a little worried, because I thought I was going to crush his head, but he just kept on going.  Also, with him going down on me he has so many more tools in his arsenal; his tongue, his nose, and BOTH of his hands.  Sometimes he uses a toy too. It has become my new favorite.  I also love the way I feel after bringing my husband to an orgasm, too.  I’m not trying to be all churchy here, but there is true joy in serving your spouse in this way.

I also decided not to worry about whether I was clean enough for him or he was clean enough for me. This helped me let go.

Sexy Attitude – Fantasies
I was way too embarrassed to share my fantasies at first, but as he opened up I realized that many of our fantasies were very similar. We agreed that our fantasies would only include each other, and we would keep to our ground rules.  Needless to say many of our fantasies have come to life this year.

Sexy Attitude -Surprise Him
I found out that many of my husband’s fantasies were about being surprised by me doing simple things.  I’m going to list a few of these because I suspect your husbands have similar ones.
1. After you have gotten out of the shower in the morning go up to him and ask him to service you orally.  This is especially good if he is still in bed and you can straddle his chest.
2. Give him a wake up blow, having your man get hard while he is in your mouth is a real treat.  After you are done tell him tomorrow is his turn, you better believe he will give it to you.
3. Combine 1 and 2 to give and receive oral at the same time.
4. Sometime during the day when he has to go urinate follow him into the bathroom and hold his penis for him.  You may have to hold it down, because he will get hard. But hey, urine is sterile and it cleans up, plus it’s fun to give him a hard time about it later.
5. While he is watching one of his sports on TV walk around the house with little on and one of the toys in your hand.  Then go up to him and straddle him and bring yourself to an orgasm with the toy.

Sexy Attitude – Give Him Your Quality Time
Turn off the TV and go to bed early, even if there are still things to be done, or favorite shows to watch. Get a DVR if TV is that important to you.  Your relationship with your husband is way more important than clean dishes.  If you can’t concentrate on a sexy attitude until things are done, make a sexy game out of whatever it is that needs to be done.  For example, if there are dishes that need to be washed and dried, go change into a clean white tee shirt, and no bra.  Tell your husband that if he will wash you will dry; proceed to dry with your shirt.  You get clean dishes and he gets a great show.

Sexy Attitude -Shaving or Waxing
This is another one that I didn’t get at first.  I of course trim my pubic hair for swimming and just neatness, but I never had been totally bald down there.  After I realized he really wanted to see me that way, I gave it a shot. It’s hair and it will grow back. When I surprised him one morning with my new cut he went down on me right then and there.  I was in ecstasy.  Smooth is the way for me.  It took me a little while to get used to it, and I think I’m going to get one of those electric shavers for the next year.  On one of the first few days I wore some jeans that were too tight. I actually had an orgasm from the friction on my mound.  As I told my husband about it I handed him the creamed covered panties, needless to say he was really turned on.

Sexy Attitude – Tie me up
This one began as my fantasy, but it soon was clear he had thought about it too.  For us it is very simple, a couple of scarves to the headboard and sometimes footboard.  I have enjoyed tying myself to the bed just before he arrives home from work.  I usually leave him a note to get cleaned up in another bathroom and hurry to the bedroom.

Sexy Attitude – Sexy Stories
Of course we have enjoyed sexy stories from this site. Write your sexy attitude stories and share them with others at Your imagination is very important, keep it fed with “Song of Solomon” thoughts.

Sexy Attitude – Books
There are some good and some bad books out there, if you need some help make sure to read all of the reviews, and then make a wise purchase.  We bought one each on oral sex, and I’m glad we did.

Sexy Attitude – Seduce Him
This is an easy one; it is all in the sexy attitude.  You can mix and match any of the things above and get your husband turned on in minutes.

Sexy Attitude -Romance

Your husband or at least my husband enjoys the softer things too, candles, baths, and soft music.  We have a large tub that I set up for the evening and we will spend a long time just holding each other until we become prunes, or we will make love very slowly.

Sexy Attitude -Quickies

For a while all I would ever give him were quickies, because all I wanted was the orgasm, and I could go pretty quickly.  This drove my husband crazy because he wanted to spend more time with me.  Now quickies are great for both of us.  He may be on our side of town during lunch or for some work reason and he will call.  I will tell him that I just had an orgasm and am waiting for him.  We sometimes talk sexy while he is driving to meet me.

Sexy Attitude – Desire him like he desires you

Before I always thought it was odd how much he would say he wanted to caress me or how much he longed to touch me.  I never had that desire, but now I can’t wait to see his toned chest or cup his butt in my hands.  He loves that I want him, and I love it too.

We have started trying to get away more often.  We will either close the curtains and turn off the phones for a weekend, or actually go to another town.  In the summer we rented a cabin in the woods that had a stream right by it.  It was very secluded and we went naked some of the time we were there.  We made sure there were no cabins or people around because we are pretty shy.  Once we agreed that no one would ever see us we went skinny dipping and made love on our towels.  There were some large flat rocks that we laid on and he or I would from time to time roll over and pleasure the other.

Sexy Attitude – Sex Drive

His is still really high as I mentioned in the earlier post and mine is much higher than it was before.  I am thinking about sex much, much more.  We are in our late 40’s and we are having intercourse at least 3 times a week, and usually pleasuring each other a couple more times during the week.

Sexy Attitude – Spiritual Life

We are members of a conservative church.  Before, we would pray at dinner, and would go to church and class on Sunday’s, but we were almost always late and we never studied the Bible during the week.  Now, we take time to study, discuss and read together, and we are on time most of the time for church.  We are closer to God, and each other.

Don’t get frustrated with failures as you develop a more sexy attitude. This will all take time, but it is what is in your brain where it all begins. I do not mean to come off any better than anyone else. I just want to be an encouragement.

I really hope this helps.  I have been so thrilled with this past year. It is amazing how much our lives have changed with a sexy attitude.  I’m not sure how much my husband realizes that he too is fulfilling my needs.  We have become so close emotionally and spiritually, he has become the spiritual leader in our house.

Sexy Attitude Ideas See this Hitched Article


sexy attitude

By: Maegan Tintari

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23 replies
  1. Anonymous says:

    I want to thank you for your honesty. Almost makes me want to start a private marriage relationship group dealing with sexual issues with a group of friends from our church.

    • Mercury7 says:

      Thank you for this very honest and open description in the article! I agree with the comment above that some kind of discussion group on the site would be good. No matter what our situation or how old we are, all of us are still growing and have a lot to learn.

  2. Anonymous says:

    I found marriage heat last December. I started to become a sexy attitude wife. At first, my husband did not believe the “new me”. I did not fully “will” this new me at times either. My husband confessed to getting into an emotional affair that was heading to a sexual one. We are rebuilding now. That woman is out of the picture now, though, I worry a little. My husband’s actions and enthusiasm
    for me and our marriage gives me hope. The sex has never been so good. I first I felt pressure to keep it up, worrying that it still would not be enough. Now I am actually enjoying the new creativity and his response to me. I am alive in this area for the first time in a long time.

    Thanks for writing this encouraging post. You are helping me get a sexy attitude. I would love to hear from other women or men if they faced some similar challenges?

  3. Anonymous says:

    Wives like this are rare. I am single and I hope I find a wife like this. Are there really a lot of women out there that will have this attitude? Most of my married friends say that sex is hit or miss. I just want to have a mutually hot marriage. This web site has a different view of sex for Christian than I expected. Is this how most Christian women think about sex in marriage?

    • Anonymous says:

      I choose to be one of those rare wives for my man. I have been so encouraged by the sex stories at this site. A Song of Songs Website!

    • huckleberry says:

      I wanted to comment on your post. I am a rare wife who just loves having sex with my husband, and I have made the effort to get better all the time. When I studied song of solemn more, I realized God I intended for us to have sexy, erotic love making. He invented it and it is all over Songs. The lovers in that book really enjoy one another. I am 34 and have been married 15 years and have just recently understood what “two became one flesh” meant. It means that enjoyment of one another’s body along with their personality. No ones body is perfect, but when I realized that my husbands body was not his alone and mine to share, I just could really connect with him mentally and physically in a closer way. One word of advice, when you do find your future wife, continued to persue her after you are married especially finding out what she likes in sex,it will make it all the more better for you and her. I know when my husband kisses me a certain way or I can tell he is desiring my body, even after having 3 children, it makes me feel hot and sexy for him/ us. I hope this helps. God bless and good luck.

    • Anonymous says:

      My attitude may need to change! I am a woman who knows I need to change, but I was taught that sex was dirty, and my parents were not Christians. My husband invited me to church and now I am realizing that sex is not “dirty” but good.

  4. Anonymous says:

    I changed my attitude three years ago. My marriage totally changed for the better. I love him more now than ever. I love God, I love my husband and I really like sex now!

  5. Anonymous says:

    We should start a married wife heat-club at Marriage Heat. I sort of see myself in this club with you other hot wives at Marriage heat. I am telling many of my married girl friends about this site. I have “loved” my husband in ways I have never loved him in the past. Thanks marriage heat.

  6. 76servant says:

    Obviously based on comments this has been a hit! Wife’s, yes please do pass along to friends! This is a must read experience! As a husband of a wife holding onto her own inhibitions this has given me hope! But remember husbands, “love your wife as Christ loved”! Thank you so much for sharing!

  7. rocket says:

    This is great article. Very much needed in the Christian family context.
    Failure of the Church to present the true Biblical perspective on the problem of evil and suffering and on erotic sex within marriage, which Bible endorses in all its wide and weird variety as seen from Song of Songs, has been the greatest hurdles in evangelizing the modern humans.
    Why did God create all the erogenous zones even within mouths, anus, g-spot, A-spot etc. if not for wife and husband to appreciate the true meaning of “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh”(Genesis 2:23-24).
    Ponder these philosophical and spiritual truths – marriage will be better, family will be better, Church will be better and World will be better.

    • Anonymous says:

      My wife has been reading this website now for weeks now. She has been getting a sexy attitude and she is loving it. She asked me if it was ok for her to masturbate to get into the sexy mindset. I said, “Go for it! Today. I came home from work and she was not wearing panties. She put her fingers in my mouth and I could taste her, getting hard immediately. She bent over holding on to the table and I entered her right there.

  8. Anonymous says:

    Wow, great article! Thank you! As a husband of a very reserved wife i hope and pray we will “get there” together…we’ve come a long way, rebuilding trust after my downfalls and now roles are reversed where she works full time and me looking for work dealing with the home and kids but It seems you described our relationship to the T in the beginning of your story. As Christians we still have hangups about this subject… even though it’s anything goes for beautiful wife has no interest in “edgy” christian sex lol…the fantasies for example and masturbation techniques are amazing to me but in approaching the subjects i get perplexed silence or refusal as in the coming around you had to oral sex. Maybe it’s my gut that i need to work on, too. She is more health conscious and think that may be a way to entice her if i got rid of my 15-20 lb gut haha..yes? I’m just wanting more than quickies, hopefully soon and after I find work, too :/….I do appreciate all your truth and agree totally it’s all about the SEXY Attitude! Blessings!

  9. sburkhardt says:

    Awesome, if every Christian wife would read this there would be far less problems regarding sex. God created sex for married couples to enjoy and to engage in. Why can’t wives realize this??????? Us men are pretty darn simple Love us as God intended, we are putty in your hands!!!!!!!! We wouldn’t want the things the world tempts us with a wife like that! We would turn away in heartbeat knowing what awaits us at home.

  10. anon says:

    My husband and I are true Christians – Jesus followers if you may … we also were having serious problems behind closed doors. My libido has all but vanished (I am 42 and do take antidepressants) and his is sky rocket high. Long story short, we had went a couple weeks without doing anything and I wasn’t wanting anything. He had become easily agitated and emotionally hurt because of it. (He is an emotional guy as well)

    I was looking at some sites about herbal remedies and sites on “how to increase libido” – when one COMMENT if you may, below the article, said to come to MH. I did and found the above article and mustered within myself enough spark to seek him out etc..

    I hope to find some new ways to keep a spark within myself… This article really helped as I too am a bit overweight (30 lbs easy) and find myself not as sexy anymore. No small children in the family but back to college full time and working. Anyway, I am going be reading this article again and finding ways to spark things up.

    My hubby works from home and barely drives, so “meeting at the door” deals aren’t really so easy. Nor are scavenger hunts… IDK

    But i am going to look for more hints from others on this site and see what I can do.


  11. elise65 says:

    I so emphasize with the low libido issue. Birth control pills destroyed it during our newlywed years…now it is starting to be acknowledged but still not nearly enough!! Anti depressants are much better known for that, but ways to minimize that are not widely known. Just for your own research, look up optimized saffron from Life Extension. It is often as effective as prescriptions for mild to moderate depression, but also helps minimize the sexual side effects should prescriptions be necessary. Crazy ,isn’t it, that good and frequent sex helps with depression too! May God bless all who are seeking and in need of a satisfying God-honoring marriage bed!!

  12. JazzdBoutH&N says:

    Yes, I did hit the SHARE WITH WIFE button IMMEDIATELY when you got to “So when I say it is SEXY ATTITUDE that needed to be changed for me, it really was.” You went all UPPERCASE on us and lit my fire.

    My wife is/was the same. She’s coming around and hopefully, your honesty and openness will help her get there. THANK YOU for sharing.

    God made our bodies into wonderful, sexy amusement parks. We bought the tickets. We should enjoy all the rides.

  13. Eva says:

    I just love this post! I think every wife should read it! And the comments are just fantastic too. I know that feeling of sex being a drag…but it is soooo easy for a woman to change that! This post pretty much says it all.

  14. Firefly1 says:

    Your article was so encouraging to me. My wife and I are 58. I am high drive and she at this point is almost no drive. A few years ago, I too was searching for feedback, reciprocation. I came close to getting into porn, but stopped short of it by convincing my wife to make sex movies with me. I now view them and masturbate with her blessing. I have been the one for 39 years to introduce all things sexual. The first time I mentioned buying her a vibe to help her orgasm, she exploded in anger and called me a pervert. She has been using a vibe now for about 15 years, she loves it. That is a story in itself how I got her to try it. The past five years, she has been on board with me giving her oral sex before she leaves the house for any reason, at least once that day we are not having sex. Said all that to say, she has come a long way in being sexual, but only after she is turned on.
    She can easily O from vaginal sex alone, O's from oral sex within seconds of my mouth and tongue touching her sweet spot. She shy's away from anal sex, she says because of the initial entry, but once that is achieved, she always orgasms shortly after, and begs me to xxxx her in the xxx.

    What more could I want, an attitude that wants sex with her husband. I loved your change in attitude. This site has been a help the last two weeks. I encouraged her to begin reading the stories here, and they have made her "less reluctant" to sex in general. She can't get past her fear of tasting and feel of my seed in her mouth, but I am hoping your story here will be an encouragement.

    For years, my wife had your testimony. I slowly proved to her that God wants the sex of married couples to be hot and ongoing. She is slowly coming around, but sexy attitude is definitely missing. She cringes at sex talk and has just began using slang terms, when she is turned on, while having sex. All that I have explained is a loving husband taking a non libido, non sexual wife, and introducing heat, sexually, to her. No pride here, just thankful to the Lord, he has given me the patience to work with her all these years. Her parents, by her testimony, never showed affection to one another in front of her. She never heard her father express 'I love you' to her mom or the children.

    I am just super thankful that you posted your story, she can read it, and hopefully make a difference. She likes what she has learned through the years, but falls short of thinking positive about God's gift of hot sex to marriages. I love her more now than ever, and express that love daily. Thank you so much for the paragraph on body image. I love her as she is, 30lbs overweight and all. I think she is beautiful. She sees, stretch marks from child birth and the extra weight as totally repugnant. Hence, the reason she refuses to watch our sex videos. She says she is not looking at that fat bounce around trying to act provocative and the like.
    She says also that she can not believe what comes flying out of her mouth when she gets turned on. She, nor I, ever use slang swear words or the like in publick, mad or not. But she does like the use of slang phrases that I convinced her that was not wrong to say between she and I only.
    I see a beautiful queen when she undresses. Thanks again. When we cross the attitude hurdle, I will post again.

  15. SecondMarge says:

    While I can’t say I agree with every single point you made, I love that you made them. I only wish I had read this before I was married. We spend too much time saying "this is wrong, and don’t do that." Instead it should be "try this, and if possible, do that for your spouse." Instead of Netflix, you could watch sex videos with him. There is a lot of bad erotica but, imho, not all erotica is bad.

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