I, we, decided to do some writing here at MH because I visited here a year or more ago and then again last week. After reading several posts and blogs etc., I realized that we might have some insights to offer and thought that by telling our story or selected parts of it, someone might gain benefit or be blessed.
We were both virgins when we married. We had been active with some intense sexual activities, but we had somehow remained virginal–we highly recommend this to all the singles and pre-married that might be reading at MH. We also received excellent help from our pastor–in Dr. Ed Wheat’s “Sexual Problems and Techniques” in marriage; and from my parents–“God’s Purpose for the Home” by Jack Taylor. That was in the mid-70’s. There wasn’t much out there for Christians or religious people to prepare for marriage and sex.
We were both looking forward to sex together, but the first night, even with the Wheat tapes, was nothing to brag about to anyone. My wife was determined to allow me to enter her vagina, and so while it is was painful, she was insistent that I complete our wedding. The Wheat tapes helped me. From then on, we were having sex like the proverbial rabbits, like every night for the remainder of our two-week honeymoon. After we had learned how to get her to orgasm, it was nothing short of outstanding. I knew I had an intense sex drive before we married but, after we had learned how to work together, I don’t think we wanted to stop during our first two weeks together.
A few months later we moved to Ft. Worth, TX for grad school. Because of the stresses of school and work, we slowed our frequency some but began to experiment with new things. We never got in a hurry, often making love for two hours. We were lightly into porn (which I would not recommend to anyone now that I have grown up), mostly R-rated movies at the drive-in, I know I just dated us but no matter. With our limited income, we developed a keen ability to be creative on our date nights and in our sex life. What I offer below is some of the things we did in those first years of marriage. I think that most of this covered about ten years of our 38 years together.
One of our first discoveries was that my wife was multi-orgasmic (more learned by us than any inherent tendency on her part). [We tell couples that sexual response is learned, more on that later.] I simply loved her and her body. Once I got started making love to her, I just wanted to keep on and on and on. I don’t remember exactly how we discovered this, most likely with me on top of her, and she would move as her clit demanded attention. Men, biology time, learn about her body, nipples, and clitoris, real keys to her orgasm. As time went on, I would bring her to orgasm with my hand, and that was something to behold. Then I would mount her, and we would ride and rub and hump until she thought she was satisfied, and then I would pump away until I climaxed.
After a year or more, we began to try oral pleasures. She tried me first, and it was wonderful just to feel her tongue and mouth on my penis (dick, our nickname). When I first brought her to orgasm with my mouth, and she started her orgasm, I simply could not stop “eating” her. She would have to clamp her hands or legs on my head to get me to stop :).
As that became a regular part of our sex lives, I would bring her off manually, orally, then while I was in her vagina. We achieved four orgasms for her, and she regularly had two and quite often three. I would get so intent on satisfying her that I would just stop and let her relax and then start pumping and grinding again. LET ME EMPHASIZE THAT WE WORKED AND LEARNED TOGETHER. Now as part of our counseling pre-marrieds or newlyweds, we tell them sexual response is learned like any skill or even like learning the skills needed for a sport–tennis, baseball, volleyball, or even the martial arts. It takes practice and working together and talking about what works and what doesn’t.
One of our cheap activities to add some early spice was to go to the drive-in for a movie, preferably one with lots of sexual suggestion in it or some sex. We would wear just our warm-ups in the winter, nothing else for easy access and sexy shorts and t-shirts or tops for her in the summer. We did a lot of foreplay; no, we did not try to have sex in the car, we are both tall, and there just wasn’t enough room. But when we got home, the clothes went flying, and the bodies went colliding.
We had numerous dates at home in our little mother-in-law’s house. We would watch TV movies, get under or on our satin comforter and play while the movie was on and then since we were home, we could move to sex and the highlight of our evening together. For our first anniversary, I packed her bag and my gift for her a complete lingerie set, like 5-7 pieces–can’t find that very often today. I took her to the airport hotel at the then new DFW airport. It was just one night, but it made our anniversary memorable with the attendant sexual rendezvous as she likes to call it. On weekends and times like this, we would sleep nude just to heighten the experience.
When we would get time off from grad school in the summer, we often borrowed my parents RV trailer and or boat and took off for a few days. We continued our experimenting with sex, techniques and positions and places. We loved skinny dipping, and, if I found a good place to anchor the boat and was not watching, my surprising wife would be ditching her bikini and inviting me to do the same. The freedom of being naked in the water and holding each other, kissing and such was fantastic. I recommend this to you. We pulled this off in lakes where we could get away from the crowds, in a pool at a country club late one night, in state parks that had space for some privacy. Go for it. One night we decided that we wanted to see if we could get each other off (cum/orgasm) in the water. We did, and it was strangely satisfying. When I climaxed, she did too, and I pulled out of her, my semen was floating in a string between us. One more thrill in our sex life. Back to skinny dipping for a minute, as I noted we were in a pool at a country club late one night. There was no one else around so we shed our suits but hung on to them in case anyone showed up unexpectedly. Two state parks allowed us to find swimming holes and in the larger lake, a cover–water was clear as could be. We also went out in the boat at night and found a sandbar to hang the motor in and stripped off. Recently, we were in another country with a pool seldom found in the US anymore, 50-100 ft. long and also six ft. deep at the far end. Only one family was near the shallow end with small kids. We pulled my suit to the side so that she could play with my dick and balls; then I freed a breast to rub. She got pretty horny, turned on, so she pulled her suit to the side so I could slip in her pussy.
Well, enough for now. Hope to write more in the days ahead. Feel free to ask questions; we have been helping other couples for most of our marriage with all sorts of issues.
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