Wife Masturbates First Time

Wife Masturbates First Time

Wife Masturbates First Time

My friend Laura told me about Marriage Heat last year. The first words out of my mouth were, “Laura, you and Chris should not be visiting pornographic websites” So judgmental.

Laura dug in a little. She quipped back, “Are you happy with your sex life?”

I responded with a lie, “Of course, I am.” I stated it confidently.

“If Jerry was here and could be honest with us, would he say the same thing?” Laura asked.

“Of course, he would,” I said. Then I quickly changed the subject.

I am a computer web-designer, and I bounced over to MarriageHeat.com.  I read the guidelines. I thought the pictures were not pornographic at all. I started reading a few stories. It was a reality check. I enjoyed the stories, and at the same time I felt judgmental and awkward at reading the stories. I was feeling sexually excited, but I also felt “shame.” The two feelings together felt freeing and condemning. I went to the bathroom and noticed that my panties were wet. I also noticed that I wanted to masturbate at that moment. But I just could not.

I blew a fuse on the masturbation stories. I never masturbated growing up. Yes. I felt horny at times, with a little rubbing here and there. That was it. When I found out that my husband masturbated, I thought he was affected by the world. He admitted to watching pornography off and on.  I concluded I was not going to be his “whore” and that “hot sex” was generated by the pornography industry. A voice inside of me reminded me that I should be a good girl.

That night when my husband came home, I kept looking at his pants. I felt that my panties were moist. I felt a deep sexual longing for my husband. He had no idea. I felt horny. I kissed him. I enthusiastically gave him my tongue. I felt him get hard. I grabbed his penis over his pants. I was thinking about opening up his pants and taking his tool in my mouth.

Suddenly, the “good girl’ voice spoke,”You are getting out of hand here. Stop this. This is too dirty.”  So I let up. Later that night we made love like we usually did. But something was changing in me.

The next morning, I was driving to work, and the good girl voice was scolding me. Tell Laura that the stories on MarriageHeat are opening a can of worms. Let her know that there are perverted “Christian” men and women out there.

I logged on to MarriageHeat one night to reread the guidelines and the thinking of the site. I read a few more stories. As I read Marriage Heat stories, I was wondering if that voice inside of me was holding something beautiful away from my husband and me.

Thus began an internal change in me. I started explore something intimate and relevant. Many authors on Marriage Heat helped me.

You see, I’ve been blasé about having sex with my husband.  Except for an occasional (and unusual) rush of desire on my part, our sex life had become the obligatory “once every few weeks” with the single purpose of meeting his “needs”.  Missionary position or spooning position. With little to no foreplay, etc.  I didn’t even care if I had an orgasm.  I didn’t particularly like this, but I was not motivated to change this attitude.   Physically, I was fine. Mentally, by mind had come to conclude:  Anything to too sizzling was pornographic, and Christians should stay away from immorality.

My husband was away on a trip for a week in late January.  I was home alone. I was thinking about my sex person. I am glad that MH does not compare breast sizes and penis sizes. But I needed a comparison reality check. I needed to compare my attitudes about sex with how others saw sex in their lives. I read a story submitted by Chole, about Wife Masturbation. I was so turned on. I cannot believe what I did next. My fingers crept down to my pussy. I read the story again. This time, my figures rubbed my pussy as I read. I was masturbating to a different way of seeing the world. I was horny about a marriage where I could explore my sexuality with my soul mate, my husband. I finished reading the story again. I lay down in our bed and imagined taking his tool in my mouth. I had my first self-masturbated orgasm of my life, and I liked it. I even gave myself another one.

The next morning the “good girl” wanted to talk with me about what happened. I told her not to worry. I was just a little extra lonely. I found myself in major conflict with the “good girl” now. It was busy at work. No time to think.

By the time I got home, all I could do was think about jilling off again. I read every masturbation story that would open up at Marriage Heat. Some stories would not open. That frustrated me. I emailed them. They said something about moving to a new server. I brought myself to several climaxes thinking about Jerry.

The “good girl” shouted for me to stop. I could not stop. I was tired of sexual dullness. I was sure my husband was too. I called him and confessed everything to him. I told him about MH. I told him about the “good girl” guilt complex. I told him about my masturbation binge.

He said that he was hard as a rock. He said he wanted me to freely open up our sexuality to ways we had never explored all within our marriage only bonds. He told me that he was playing with his dick even as we were speaking. The “good girl” voice in me almost said, “You pervert.” Instead, I put my hand down to my pussy and just played with it too. I decided to try talking “dirty.”

“Jerry, I want to suck your cock right now, baby,” I said while playing with my pussy. Jerry did not know what came over me. He began returning the sexy talk.

“I am horny thinking about you masturbating all evening. Yes, baby. Do it every night!” I came first. Jerry shortly after.

We talked about making more changes. I knew that I was the one who needed to let go of my hangups. I committed myself to this new sexual journey.

I was afraid I’d feel intense guilt about doing so, but what I am feeling is a sexual longing and desire for my husband. Tonight, I am touching my tits as Jerry is watching me finish this post. Wow. Tits are wonderful. “Is that a hard on I see Jerry?”

Before Jerry and I have some fun, I wish to thank MH for this site and all the authors who contribute. Truly, you have been a blessing to us.

NOTE: Wife Masturbates First time stories are welcome at MH. We thank this author for sharing her recent journey and the role MH played in this renewed sexual awakening. Do you have a story to share about your masturbation journey?

 

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22 replies
  1. HornyHubby says:

    Glad to see you are breaking free from the bondage. I love to see people learn how to walk in freedom. I don't know if you have read it or not, but I wrote a post on a defense of masturbation. If you go to search you can search "masturbation defense" and it will show up. If you haven't read that yet, I would recommend you and your husband read that post. That should show you a biblical way to understand the freedom to masturbate. And it should silence that "good girl" inside you for good. 🙂 Please read it and reply on there or on here and let me know what you think and if it helps.

  2. Lovinghusband says:

    I am so happy for both you and your husband! You did a great job walking us through the summary of things that brought you to change. It is very exciting to see this happen to others. Please keep writing about how your new freedom is changing you both – because it is for both of you. Your husband must be on cloud 9! Did you guys ever talk sexy or dirty before? How does that feel now? Besides masturbation – what else are you two doing that you were not a few months ago!

    Welcome to MH! God bless you both. LH

  3. Harper Shelby Thornton says:

    Good girls have GREAT sex with their husbands, with no shame at all – I'm one of them 😉 In my opinion Christians should have the HOTTEST sex!

  4. DonB says:

    I hope, in honor of my late wife, that my story, "My Wife Loved to Masturbate," was one of the stories that inspired you. My wife and I enjoyed an incredible sex life, but it took to many years to get there. I whole heartedly encourage all couples to be open to exploring the joys that come from a healthy, monogamous, faith centered sex life. Masturbation, and oral sex are wonderful ways to gain trust and realize the joys that can be had in a faithful, open minded relationship.

  5. Fetishhubby says:

    Wow I can so relate as a Christian hubby and only being reciprocated unto 'cause she feels obligation to do anything in the bedroom….
    I want her to read this. I think I might help thanks for sharing ?

  6. Stag-on-a-hill says:

    Cool story. Great you're discovering a new freedom. I'm still not sure about the whole masturbation thing though. Lovinghusband, maybe you could help me out with this. Masturbation for me easily becomes habitual, self-focussed, indulgent… to be honest, a bit narcissistic… even if I'm thinking about my Wonder. The more I press into Christ the more I feel this, and I don't have a history of shame with this at all. It all feels a bit unseemly. Self-gratification isn't particularly healthy. My wife has never masturbated by herself. I have encouraged her… one part of me would love to see her released a bit with her sexual side. Another part of me thinks that's a distortion. I'm more and more seeing that what I have seen as 'sexual liberation' isn't necessarily that at all. Perhaps she already is sexually liberated – by being pure and loyal in the way she is – she isn't given to lust etc… that's sexy in a deeper way. She wants to give herself to me in a quieter way. Perhaps it would be violating something precious about her if she began down this path of masturbation and blow jobs or whatever. Those things aren't necessarily heading in the right direction. Maybe the greatest sexual satisfaction I can have with her is to stop things like encouraging some kind of sexual liberation in her through masturbation or reading MH or thinking of fantasies, or whatever… you know, that whole approach… and just relish her wonderful 'good girl-ness.' Who needs all that other crap if you've got the real thing – a good girl? On the other hand, if she did start masturbating, became 'freer' and more adventurous… began to love sex simply for the pleasure… got off on MH stories… etc… maybe that would be amazing. Or is that just 'sensual indulgence' of the kind that Paul warns us about in many places in the Scriptures… and therefore a false path? You know, maybe she is actually more liberated than me by not being into sex in the way I have been – maybe I'm the one who needs healing.

    • Lovinghusband says:

      Hi Stag

      I appreciate and share your careful spirit. Every time I comment on an MH story – I don't preface it with all of the other areas of balance that I would hope for that person and couple. I have contributed articles on MH that speak to the importance of a Christ-centered and Bible-centered life.

      I see that as a precondition for living well in all of life – including our sex lives. If Christ is not at the center of our lives – then some other god is.

      So, I don't repeat that with every comment of encouragement I offer on MH. Yet, I believe it.

      We are at risk to put food, hobbies, friendships, jobs, sex, entertainment, wealth, and more in the place of God – apart from a vibrant and abiding faith.

      So, yes, it is very possible to be out of balance in just about every area of life – including misusing the gift of masturbation. If a husband or wife is unavailable and / or unmotivated to be with their spouse – due to self-gratification – I think that is wrong and harmful.

      I don't think the definition of a good girl is determined by a wife who does or does not masturbate – and I know you didn't say that either.

      I would agree with the spirit of your caution in this way – I would want to be an encourager of my wife's sexual freedom – which is in keeping with be a sexual wife ("good girl") – yet, not want to do so in ways that would encourage her to elevate her quest for orgasms to be an idol in her life.

      How will I know if I'm being successful?

      I propose this as "work in progress" answer:

      Does my wife evidence the fruit of the Spirit in her life ?

      Is she characterized by servant hood or selfidhness?

      Does she hunger for the Scriptures? Do the Scriptures satisfy her?

      If a mother – is she a loving, nurturing mom – concerned about the hearts of her kids?

      Is she an ongoing disciple or student in Christ's church?

      Why mention things like this? They demonstrate in part what drives a person. I could make a list parallel for the godly man.

      I posit that in the midst of living the Christian life – we can use the gift of masturbation in a way that fits in a life that has many compartments.

      On the other side, we should be careful about living a life that makes individual sexual pleasure into our golden calf!

      Sex is an important part of our marriage. I am blessed to be married to a servant of Christ who is constantly involved in the lives of many for the gospel.

      She is a "good girl"

      When it is "time" for our sex – and that is not always because we know we have many other things to do in this world – but when it is time – I rejoice that her freedom to be "sexy and even naughty" includes a repoirtroire – that includes masturbation.

      I've been married 30 years – I have never been met by the words "not tonight – I already masturbated"

      In fact we have mutually masturbated countless times

      We have had times when she only masturbated

      We have had times when only I masturbated

      Those last two are less frequent

      My point is that masturbation has not been a hindrance to us. We're always ready for the other with joy.

      Sorry for so long a reply

      All that said – if we were finding ourselves not wanting to be together – and just about our own orgasms – I would blame our selfishness.

      I don't blame the food of the glutton; or the gun of the murderer – I would say selfish sinners can misuse about any good gift we can think of.

      In conclusion, I want to encourage my wife to follow Christ in all things. When I see her in the glory of sexual delight – in light of her whole balanced life – she is being the good girl God made her to be!

      Thank you Stag!! God bless you brother! LH

    • Stag-on-a-hill says:

      Thanks LH, you're the best. Great stuff. I'll have to get back to this asap – no time now.

    • Stag-on-a-hill says:

      Yeah LH… definitely we all want to enjoy sexual liberation without idolatry, and the list you make is cool. I guess since being on MH for awhile now, I'm uncomfortable with some of it and I'm asking deeper questions about what is lust/sensual indulgence/self-gratification (and listening to my wife's view on this). I want to raise questions about what is true liberation of our sex lives vs what is crossing a line into lust. I'll have to think more about how to put this.

    • SouthMan says:

      Stag –
      I love your comment. This is my first entry onto this site. I've been visiting here a while. I have a strong drive and my wife has almost none. She's in menopause but we've struggled with her desire for most of our marriage. I've beaten my head against a wall for 15+ years over this. I cannot seem to get through to her. I have experienced resentment and rejection being told "no" at almost every approach. It's become a huge problem and of late, I've just shut down, quit initiating, etc. because I decided it was better to shut this down in me rather than experiencing the rejection. Shutting down doesn't work. It feels like death. I am 100% faithful and don't use pornography. We both are devoted believers and we have a good marriage other than the sex life. As I read this post, I found myself wishing my wife would engage in this – she's never masturbated, never touched herself, etc. I read this post and thought "maybe that's the key, maybe if she will open herself up then maybe I will get ____" and then I read your comment and it was an "AH HA" moment. What am I after here? Her awakening, her liberation, her inhibitions dropping…why? For her sake…or MINE? It's all "me" driven. I want a sex life. I want us to have sex a few times a week. I want her horny and desiring me and taking me. Me, me, me, me. God has us here for some reason and it may well be for my benefit, breaking this false god I worship.

      I cannot exist in a sexless marriage. It isn't healthy. God gave me my manhood for a reason and he gave her love organs for a reason – they are beautiful and are meant to be enjoyed. She doesn't enjoy them. I do. There has to be a balance and as of now, i'm thinking we need to start over. Repent of our past sin together, on our knees, at the foot of our bed and consecrate our sex life together. We both need to repent of the sins of the past, the shutting down, the "my body", the "I could go without sex the rest of my life", the resentment, etc. and just start over. Married 25+ years…lots of patterns and ingrained behavior here and Satan has used what was meant to be beautiful and twisted it to drive this wedge between us. So sorry to ramble but your last line struck me "maybe I'm the one who needs healing". Amen to that.

    • Stag-on-a-hill says:

      Thanks Southman. Yeah definitely repent and pray. God answers in amazing ways, including changing our own hearts. I've found A Praying Life, by Paul E. Miller has excellent stuff on praying for our wives in the chapter 'What we don't pray for: Your Kingdom Come.' Personally I have discovered that my wife is sexy in all kinds of ways that I wasn't seeing. The more I have celebrated her for being who she is (and not trying to force her to change) the more she has become aware of me and my needs, and who I am. And then her answer to those needs is HER way of meeting them, not my fantasy or whatever. And you know, I vote for her way!! Just because she is the one I love. I want her to be the standard I measure others by, not vice versa. She is the one I want, just her being her. But I also continue to pray that she will become a healed version of her (and me a healed version of me). So much more to say… keep praying.

    • SouthMan says:

      your advice is sound. I have ordered that book. Thanks! I am reading Eldredge's new book on prayer, Moving Mountains. So far, it is quite good. "the more I have celebrated her for being who she is and not forcing change on her" is a great perspective. I've never settled into "this is who she is" and affirm her for that – she is quite modest, she likes the lights off, she doesn't wear skimpy nightwear, she doesn't masturbate, she dislikes dirty talk, etc. – there is virtue in that. I should celebrate it. And I can see that in so doing, I am truly accepting her for who she is. She IS mine. God gave her to me for a reason. Celebrate that. And as you say, your wife then became more aware of your needs but I need to enter into shift NOT to get what I want out of it. No, I enter into it to celebrate her. If it comes (pun), then so be it but that cannot be my driving motive. Thank you here on this. It's helped me.

  7. Alicia G. M. says:

    I loved this post. I enjoy masturbation as well, but have yet to find the courage to do it in front of my husband Trey. Would love to watch Trey jerk off but he says he has no need to do that now that he is married to me. He knows I own a vibrator, but hasn't said anything about it. Haven't been on MH in a while and this post has made my twat wet. Love it! Thanks and God bless.

    • Lovinghusband says:

      Alicia

      If you need courage – know that Trey loves you and will go wild watching you! It is one of my most favorite things to watch my wife do! Go for it. LH

    • Fetishhubby says:

      Like your reply… This is Mrs.Hubbyfetish… I saw he was logged in here… maybe I should "do something" for him…. honest this is my first time on MH… ?

  8. PacMan says:

    I loved this post… a lot! Super hot! Welcome Mrs. Fettishhubby! You sound like you are up to mischief — and I hope you'll share what you were inspired to do for the Mr! And Alicia, it took my wife & I 4 years before we started masturbating in front of each other. It is quite vulnerable. But we love it now. We sometimes prefer to jerk off together rather than intercourse! Maybe a good way to start is to make a really sexy video of you jilling off and give it to Troy (maybe prior to a business trip). Maybe he will be open about what it caused his hand to do (and who knows, maybe a picture from him too)!

  9. Anonymous says:

    This is another of my favorites, primarily because I love to watch my wife Jill off. She loves to watch me jack off too, and loves to watch me spurt, the further the better, the greater the quantity the better.

    As God's Word says in Hebrews 13:4, the marriage bed is undefiled. Husbands and wives are in the only relationship where sexuality may morally be expressed. Period. And there's pretty much no limitations mentioned in Scripture regarding limitations on that expression. Folks may have been raised in churches or families where this or that was considered taboo, but with few exceptions there is no Scriptural basis for those taboos. The sin of Onan, for instance, wasn't masturbation, but rather refusing to give his deceased brother offspring through his brother's widow.

    We mustn't masturbate to Internet porn or thinking of somebody who isn't our spouse, of course, both of which would constitute adultery, and we mustn't masturbate to rob our spouse of sex, since our body belongs to our spouse, but you won't find Scriptural condemnation of the act.

  10. Krystal1965 says:

    Thank you for sharing something that so many of us can relate to. Silencing the “good girl” is such a difficult thing to do sometimes. It is wonderful to see the beauty that can happen when you do. Thank you for the encouragement!

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