Marriage Heat Examination – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly?

My wife and I have been faithfully and happily married for more than 20 years, I truly cannot express in words how I feel about her, she was and is the love of my life, my soulmate, my best friend and my awesome lover. She’s the most loving and kind person that I’ve ever met, and let me not forget, the hottest sexiest babe I know (a voluptuous blue-eyed blond with super sexy big tits)!

We started dating when I was 26 and she was 24 and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her, two years later we got married and are truly blessed to have experienced a long and happy marriage journey together, two beautiful and talented kids and are pretty content with our lives. Sure, we had some tough times, in our relationship, in our finances, in our sex lives, in our careers, etc., make no mistake sometimes it was EXTREMELY tough, but we always served the Lord together and He has been faithful to the end! Looking back, if I had to do it all over again, I would without a drop of a doubt, pick her again, and whatever we’ve had and built together. I love and desire her just as much now as the day we met, if not more!

I’ve been a reader on MH for the last few years and also started to contribute stories for the last four months or so, this wonderful site and community had a profound impact on my life. I never knew that there could be something like a “Erotic Christian Marriage Sex Site,” or that something like that even existed! After some time, I also introduced my wife to the site and we’ve read some stories together, however, she spends very little time here, unlike myself, that was immediately drawn because of my much higher sex drive.

I’m very passionate about God, my wife, and marriage sex, which I can enjoy on this site! I would describe us as my wife a (one time a week), and me as a (3 to 4 times a week) person, as far as needs are concerned, if that makes any sense? Marriage Heat and it’s members has educated, and changed me, as far as my own sexuality is concerned, a sexual awakening if you will. I realized that the way I feel and the needs I have is nothing to be ashamed of, many, many others share the same feelings, in fact I now enjoy and celebrate it! I always had a lot of sexual desires but never knew what to do with them, I think, like most boys growing up without sexual education, I had lots of bad connections towards sex.

MH taught me that sex is beautiful, created by God for us to enjoy our bodies, and our spouses to it’s fullest within the confines of the marriage covenant, my wife and I now masturbate together or apart and our sex life has most definitely been enhanced in a positive manner, we are more open and playful. I feel like I do not have to push her for more intimate time nearly as much as before. My interactions on MH provides an outlet for healthy masturbation, of which I must stress, is always about thoughts of my wife, and my wife only. I’ve never had a problem with porn or fantasies about any other woman except my wife. I regularly read the stories and comments on MH when I need sexual stimulation, which inevitably triggers thoughts of my wife, it makes me hard and I then stroke myself to some wonderful orgasms. So I guess it’s all good or is it?

I have the following question – ever so often I catch myself wondering if I’m doing something wrong by personally engaging on MH on such a regular basis, instead of us doing it together as a couple? I’ve always felt that I mostly hear the voice of the Lord very clearly when He speaks to me, I felt it’s a gift that God has blessed me with. And in this case I’ve never, ever had an uneasy or uncomfortable feeling or voice telling me that I’m doing something wrong,

I’m completely open and brutally honest, to the core actually, my wife are aware of it and she can read any and all writings on MH at any time and share my deepest feelings that are completely exposed – something that I would assume every spouse would highly appreciate! I do realize that she mostly does not share the same drive and appetite for sexual stimulation, and I’m sure she does not need to, or want to hear about all of this all the time. It is obviously a much bigger part of my life and something that I engage and enjoy much more than she does (not that she doesn’t enjoy sex, in fact, let me be clear, she’s a extremely hot and sexy lover and almost always have very powerful and enjoyable multiple orgasms).

Is this acceptable and ok within marriage, or is it improper and selfish, how should I handle it, or is there a case for me not taking any further part in it at all? My wife and I do not hold ANY secrets and I almost feel guilty writing this without her, but again, we will share this and she has full access, I think we will both agree that it is sometimes a good thing asking for some independent advice on a specific topic and re-evaluate one’s position if need be.

I came to realize that I enjoy reading, writing and masturbating over here, but like always, I would like to honor my wife first and foremost, and maybe I’m over thinking things too much and maybe I should just continue enjoying it in a healthy Godly manner? Anyway, I would still like to double-check myself and would really appreciate some thoughts, experiences and Godly advice from others regarding the thoughts that I’ve shared in this regard, thank you in advance to the beautiful MH community, may God continue blessing you all abundantly!

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25 replies
  1. Harper Shelby Thornton says:

    Hello! Thank you for this post, it was very forthcoming, and God bless you for that. No I don't believe you're doing anything wrong. Like you said, your wife knows what you're doing, she sees this, and it's not like you're hiding anything from her. My husband has little participation, but he knows, he sees, he reads stories from this site with me. To be honest I think you may have answered your own question there, because you said "I felt it’s a gift that God has blessed me with". And it is! Sex is a blessing, MH is a blessing, as is everything about it. So feel free, don't let anything hold you back. God bless you, pal! Can't wait for more posts from you 😀

  2. Marie Lister says:

    Personally, I feel perfectly content to be a member of this community. I have told my husband about it and shared stories with him, but he is not interested. I see absolutely no harm in being an active member and feel it only enhances my marriage.

    I enjoy reading the posts and comments on this site and love the very supportive community. During the 1.5 years since I joined, it has helped me understand so much more about sex. We recently celebrated 33 years as a married couple and I am happy to say that I fall more in love with him every year.

  3. Dean316 says:

    OneCouple, I don't think your doing much wrong my man. It's awesome that can't say enough about your wife and your faith as well as a good sex life. Look, I don't think it's that much of an issue that you come to the site more than your wife does during the week but I think it depends on balance at the same time. Make sure you attend to more important things than this site. Not knocking this awesome site, but you see what I mean. God bless you and your wife.


  4. hornyGG says:

    First off let me say that I comended you for writing this post. I think it shows that you have a deep respect and love for your wife.
    When I first discovered MH I too was pleasantly surprised and aroused to find a site that touched on serving our Lord, Christian marriage and hot monogamy. Not to mention being so erotically stimulating.
    When I introduced MH to Ben he was sceptical, especially when I mentioned that I would like to share our own hot monogamy story. But after reading the stories and the articles submitted by the readers, he too became intrigued and yes aroused by the site and idea of sharing our intimate love.
    I remember writing my first story and becoming so aroused remembering the event of which I was writing that I had to stop and masturbate. I later shared this fact with Ben, who in turn became aroused and we fucked.
    Like you MH became kind of a masturbation outlet, while also inspiring great sex in our marriage.
    I admire you for the courage you have in voicing your concern. In my opinion it says alot about the type of loving Christian man you seem to be. I also feel it is a great tribute to the love you have for your lovely wife. Hot marital monogamy is a beautiful gift and MH should be comended for allowing us to share.
    Ben and I both love your stories and look forward to reading more..
    I would love to hear what your wife feels about MH. Maybe one day you might can talk her into posting her thoughts?
    I hope what I said made sense. I could ramble on and on about this, but I will end by saying THANK YOU for sharing this and all your hot stories. May God bless you and your lovely bride with many more years of love and hot marital sex. As always, stay horny you two!

    Love; Gina ( Horny GG)

  5. ArtRutherford says:

    OneCouple, I think this site, among others, is a gift from God to show us that He is in our marriage and wants us to please our spouse and our marriage with sex. Lots of it.

  6. CMLove says:

    Beautiful post and honest question, OneCouple. I agree with other brothers and sisters that have commented, I feel this site is a gift that God has given us to focus and foster sexual thoughts on our spouse rather than on the so many other things out on the internet. My husband knows I have been member on MH for nearly three years and he approves. He doesn't share the same pull toward the stories but he often asks "Have you read good stories on MarriageHeat?" With a twinkle in his eye. It's like his code words for "Lets Let's have SEX!" Lol God has used this site as a blessing to our marriage.
    I do agree with Dean in that it is important to do all things in moderation and not let MH take time away from othe issues that have to be dealt with at that specific time… getting bored during a meeting at work, probably not the best time to read an erotic sex story 😉

  7. hottyflygirl says:

    This is such a thoughtful and beautiful post. Keeping marriages strong is so important and often difficult in today’s society. And sex seems to be a big source or conflict or blessing. Hopefully this site can be a source of encouragement and blessing. My situation is a little different than yours so I hesitate to say anything about whether this site is helpful or not in your marriage without knowing you personally. I would maybe see if there is any other Christian couples or men you respect who could speak and discuss it more personally with you.

    Overall I’ve found this site really helpful. I am a pilot and so being away from home multiple days a week is just part of the job. This makes it difficult to maintain intimacy and contain sex drives. I think I am a little unusual for woman as I have a fairly high sex drive and masturbate quite often just to release my own sexual tension. Also I do it just for fun quite often. This site is great for that as I often masturbate to these stories while I am away. They get me turned on quite quickly most of the time. Also I can share stories with my husband and let him know which ones I liked and had orgasms reading which he really likes to hear. The only negative for me is that it can sometimes I can get a little too turned on and a little jealous when I’m away from home and it can make me miss him more.

  8. Tulsa says:

    Nothing wrong with what you are doing. You are fantasizing of your wife when you read and write, and that's a good thing!

    My wife and I read separately, as I travel a lot for business,and we read together. It can be quite a lot of fun!
    We also have shopped for toys together, and clothing is optional! Started out when we got online looking for a better dildo. She wanted something of similar size to me, and wasn't sure what that was. Easy enough. I took off my clothes, and got a tape measure out of the drawer! We moved on to both masturbating together, and sure carried on from there! Forgot about buying a new dildo for a few hours though. 😉

    It can be a lot of fun here to read together, no clothing, as well! Always fun!

    God Bless!

  9. John Flint says:

    Thanks for your honesty. You are not the only one with those precise thoughts. I would say this at this point.
    There is perhaps some value in this site in that it educates and reassures people of the wonder and goodness of married sex.
    However what is our deep inner motive for reading and posting on an ongoing basis?
    Is the thrill of sexual communication with the opposite sex and knowing that another person or couple is turned on by it. Perhaps we then become voyeurs and exhibitionists under the guise of "helping" others. I know if I submitted a graphic story I would be turned on knowing other women and couples were reading it and masturbating. I am purposely then drawing others into my married sexual experience…..
    Your conscience is definitely worth listening to and I wouldn't readily push aside your concerns.

  10. OneCouple says:

    Thank you for that valuable point of view Jonhn Flint, I most certainly do not want to draw anyone else into my married sexual experience, nor am I turned on by other woman or couples. I do however understand where you're coming from, and appreciate you sharing these thoughts, God bless you !

  11. PacMan says:

    My wife & I have very similar libidos to yours (mismatched). I think 1 Of the most important things you said is that you don’t keep secrets from your wife (MH included). I would feel differently if it was something you were doing behind your spouse’s back. My wife doesn’t want to be involved in MH, but knows I visit, and it’s all good. And finding a healthy masturbation outlet is a huge blessing. Christians gotta get off too. Ha! 🙂 Enjoy.

  12. Bertie says:

    Like you and PacMan, my wife and I have different libidos. She's good for once a week and I am more like 3. It has its struggles and finding appropriate ways to navigate is important. MH is one of those places that helps provide a safe place. My wife knows about MH, I talk openly about it and she's fine with it.

    I would love to share some stories here, but she's a bit unsure about that, so I honour her by not sharing. But maybe someday.

    Thanks for sharing openly.

  13. OneCouple says:

    Thank you so much for sharing Bertie, always nice to know there are others out here on MH that can identify exactly with one's situation, you've described it so well, especially for myself personally, that have to leave again soon to work away from home for an extended period, MH provides a safe place to navigate through these situations. God bless you !

  14. A Better Pastime says:

    Agree completely with John Flint on this one. So many people (men and women both) adding comments to a sex story between other married couples and then stating that they started masturbating while reading the story is very much in the outside realms to which John Flint remarked. No hypocrite here, trust me… I do navigate to this site to get aroused by the explicit and erotic sex stories as well as the explicit and erotic comments on the stories. Especially when a reader tells the author that the story caused them to start lightly masturbating while reading the story about the author's sexual encounter with their spouse and then the author responds to the commenter of the opposite sex with gratitude. Truth on both sides is more than ok… I'm just saying. God bless you all as this is an amazing site of Christian support.

  15. CrazyHappyLoved says:

    Wow! How open and honest! Like John Flint and A Better Pastime, I think one has to examine one's own motives. Does it turn me on if other people get excited about things I write? Heck, yeah! But so does Superman getting in the bathtub with Lois Lane, which doesn't honor God or uphold his plan for who He intends sex to be enjoyed by (husbands and wives) and when (after making the lifelong commitment that defines Christian marriage.) MH does and I am blessed to be a part of it. I'm blessed if someone was able to read my story and think about trying those things with their spouse (or hold on to hope that they might someday get to.) To be told so, even in very explicit terms, edifies me. And being one of many examples of the freedom we have in Christ, in marriage, in love, to enjoy each other to the fullest edifies MH readers. So I hope the Spirit will comfort you and encourage you to keep contributing.

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