Sexless Marriages – A wife’s story, “I am in a sexless marriage. All he does is watch football. My husband hardly
touches or kisses me. I am a fairly attractive woman, I try to take care of myself. We are Christians. He is a great father but does not welcome me physically. He just doesn’t seem to be interested anymore. I am a very affectionate person and I need to be loved and feel loved. We still share the same bed but never touch. If he gets any further on his side of the bed he just might fall off, lol.”
Sexless Marriages – A husband’s story: Our sex life was great up until about one year ago. I have been married for almost 12 years now and we have 4 kids. We went from having sex three times a week to now maybe once a month if I insist on it. I talked to the pastor and he said I should bring my wife in and talk about it. But she would kill me if she found out I talked to the pastor about it. She says she feels like all I want is sex. I would be happy with once a week or twice a month. I tried talking to her, and it usually starts an argument. She says she just doesn’t feel like having sex and would be fine without ever doing it again.
Sexless Marriages are Ordinarily Supported in the Bible
Sexless marriages are not what the Bible teaches. The Bible teaches that Christian marriages are to be sexually alive marriages. The apostle Paul writes in very practical terms. He says in 1 Corinthians 7:5 ”Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”
When people sign Christian marriages, they sign up to take responsibility to love their spouse as they love themselves, cherish their spouse as they cherish their own life, respect their spouse as they respect themselves, protect their spouse as they protect themselves, and bring sexual fulfillment and intimacy to their spouse as they receive it themselves. God created humans with the need to give and receive love, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. So when you are married you commit yourself to be a supportive mate, a soul mate, and a sex mate. This is the Biblical perspective on marriage. This type of relationship brings happiness and contentment for a man and a woman. Out of this relationship, children may be born. With children, you add the role of parents. But the parent role is founded on the marriage role.
Sexless Marriages Busting Ideas
1. Sexless marriages are not normal for Christians. When someone is in a sexless marriage, it is not just one person suffering, both husband and wife are hurt.
2. Sexless marriage does not have to be the norm for you. Keep or begin praying for this area of your life.
3. Sexless marriages are not just something that can be fixed unless each partner in the marriage takes responsibility to fix it. If you are in a sexless marriage, get help. Talk to your pastor or a Christian counselor. Seek medical help, there could be medical reasons that need to be addressed. The whole relationship may need a makeover.
4. Sexless marriages start in your brain. Get your thinking on target for healthy hot monogamy. Marriageheat.com is here to edify hot monogamy. Please utilize the tool of marriage heat for a mutual blessing. This tool could be a great resource for a husband or wife who wants to change from being less interested in marriage heat to one who could be inspired to “bring” heat into their marriage. We have had reports about wives and husbands who are changing and marriage heat is helping them get over their hang-ups.
5. Sexless marriages can happen at different times in your life, but do not make that to be the norm. Talk about how each of you in the marriage will have your needs fulfilled even if you are facing:
- Having Babies
- Family Craziness
- Different Libido Needs
- Stress in one or both of the partners
Sexless marriages may be your lot right now.
There could be deep-seated reasons for it. There could be simple reasons like age or physical limitations. But if you are able and you know God is prompting you, my prayer for you is that you will not settle for it. Comment on this blog, share your stories and what you are doing to enhance your marriage intimacy. Share what you are finding to help your marriage be sexually fulfilling.
We are sorry that this post was not one of your favorites!
Help us understand why.